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Dear Dish-It Talks About The Hard Stuff

Sep 12, 2017

Today on Dear Dish-It’s, “Let’s Talk About it Tuesday” we will be addressing serious matter from kids and teens who really need help. Each problem is related to abuse or isolation and is of a serious nature. Your safety always comes first, you must remember this. Dealing with abuse is not okay, and you should never be a victim to someone eles’s problem. You need to feel at ease, happy, protected and loved. You deserve all of these things so don’t think you are stuck. Things can change. If we are willing to accept help, things can really change, but we have to take that step forward towards seeking action.

Let’s Take a Look at This Week’s Questions:

If you want to put a stop to it, you can.If you want to put a stop to it, you can.

Question by katsplatoon

People bully me cuz of my likes. Like I like Splatoon for Wii U and not for the Splatoon 2 for Nintendo Switch. I’m picked on for ''being late to trends'' like fidget spinners and certain video games I only have 2 friends and they are the best friends I could have I’m just worried for my future I’m only a kid what should I do. 

Insight/Advice:

What these people are doing is abusive. Why can’t they just let you be you? Be you, in spite of their efforts, don’t let them get to you. You're entitled to be interested in whatever you like. It doesn’t matter what video games you are into. People shouldn’t make fun of you because of this. Ignore those people. You say you have two best friends well just focus on them. Be yourself, if you’re late getting with the trends so be it. If this problem continues or gets worse, I would get an adult involved. No one deserves this kind of treatment. Fitting in is tough, but I am proud of you for being an individual. 

Never do you deserve to be bullied or mistreated with abuse.Never do you deserve to be bullied or mistreated with abuse.

Question by Anonymous

Umm... I'm not really sure where to start... I've been having thoughts that I'm stupid, worthless, and that I don't deserve to live anymore. I honestly think it started one time in 1st grade, before I was homeschooled. One of my friends said something that I don't remember, but it was hurtful. I kept it a secret all this time and now I'm already 14.

When my family started homeschooling, my best friend and I drifted apart. It wasn't until a few months ago that I found she never wanted to be my friend. Because of those experiences, I feel like no one cares about me anymore.

I end up crying almost every night and barely getting enough sleep. My life just feels like a mess. I feel like I'm just not good enough for anything. I'm nervous about telling my parents because I'm not even sure how they'll react. Please answer this, if you want to...

Insight/Advice:

It sounds like you are really lonely and isolated. You are not stupid or worthless so don’t ever say that or think that. Have you tried reaching out to your best friend? Things can change when you switch school, but if she’s truly your friend she would not turn her back on you. You need to let your parents know how you’ve been feeling because they can help. Don’t be scared to tell your parents, they love you and they want the best for you. They don’t want to see you unhappy.

Bullying is a form of abuse.Bullying is a form of abuse.

Question by I am Abused

My dad drinks a lot. And he beats me a lot. I want to leave but I don't want to leave my sisters. Or better yet just take a bullet or something. I don't know what to do. Please Help me. What should I do?

Insight/Advice: As Dear Dish-It explained, all child abuse cases will be reported. Your dad should not be beating you. I am so sorry that you are living in those conditions, but you need to get out of there. You can call for help on your own, but you should call for help or tell someone who can help you. I know you’re scared, but you’ve got to do right by your safety. The most important thing is that you and your sister are safe, and she will go with you. Regardless, you need to help soon, because you are right, it could only get worse and that would be the worst case scenario for you. We will report this, but we have limited information, you need to contact help straight away. We have listed some resources in the Afterthoughts section. 

Do not suffer in silence.Do not suffer in silence.

Question by Love_Nora

Dear Dish-it, I'm having problems with my younger sibling she's abusing me physically and with words. She's making my school mates mad and turn on me. I have no friends no more. I have bruises all over my body and cut marks everywhere on me. My sibling even abuses my parents by back talking and pushing them and they fall on the ground. My parents have been all hush hush about it but I need help I really do. I pray to God and I ask him to help with her to not be a bully and help with my family. Well, I need to go please reply soon. Thank-you 

Insight/Advice:

Sounds like you need help outside of your family. Talk to a guidance counselor at school, a teacher, a principle, anyone who can help you get the help that you need. It sounds like your sister is abusive and needs serious help and no one is getting it for her. She sounds very toxic and like a huge danger to you. Why Is she so set out to get you? Why would she ruin things for you at school? I’m terribly sorry that you are dealing with this, it can’t be easy, but something has got to give. Reach out for help. Browse the resources listed In the Afterthoughts of this article.

No chid or teen deserves abuse.No chid or teen deserves abuse.

Afterthoughts

As we can tell abuse comes in all shapes and sizes. The girl getting picked on for her video game preferences is being abused. There is verbal and physical abuse.

If you are living in an abusive home, you need to protect yourself from it. You can’t live like that. You deserve to live without fear and to be safe. No one who takes care of you, no one you live with and no one period should be abusing you. This is only going to cause you so much more self-damage.

Please, if you are being abused, seek help, and take care of yourself. Don’t stay out of fear, your safety and well-being is at risk and you need to take yourself out of the situation. You know it’s not right, now it is time to do something about it. 

Helplines & Resources: 

  • TeenMentalHealth.org
  • KidsHealth - A safe, private place for kids & teens who need honest, accurate information and advice about health, emotions, and life.
  • Teen Line - A helpline for kids and teens to work through their personal issues and mental health as needed.  1-800-TLC-TEEN or 1-800-852-8336 (Toll-Free US & Canada).
  • Mind Infoline – Information on self-harm and a helpline to call in the UK at 0300 123 3393 or text 86463.
  • Kids Help Phone – A helpline for kids and teens in Canada to call for help with any issue, including cutting and self-injury. Call 1-800-668-6868. (Kids Help Phone)
  • Kids Helpline – A helpline for kids and young adults in Australia to get help with issues including cutting and self-harm. Call 1800 55 1800. (Kids Helpline)
  • National Child Abuse Hotline - 1-800-4-A-CHILD or 1-800-422-4453
  • Prevent Child Abuse America

Dear Dish-It Housekeeping

I never want you to feel like I am ignoring you, however, there are some questions I can’t answer like, “how to build a video game?” Please remember Dear Dish-It does not answer questions regarding bodily issues, physical issues, especially regarding female hygiene issues, periods, drug use or sexual activities. Please review our guidelines before posting a question as posts of these nature will not be answered. We apologize for the inconvenience and hope that you visit your doctor soon to get the help that you need.

Secondly, there is an overflow of crush-related questions coming in and I am doing my best to get to them all or address popular concerns in crush articles.

Interested in getting in touch with Dear Dish-It? Simply email deardish@kidzworld.com with your concern, and we will address you on “Let’s Talk about it Tuesday” if your question is suitable for our topic of conversation. Regardless, keep your eyes peeled as Dear Dish-It it is covering a lot of issues, and you never know when your question or topic of concern will be featured in an article. Please let us know if you would like your handle to be listed as anonymous and list your age in your question if you would like as that can impact advice. To learn the Do's and Don'ts of Dear Dish-It, and to find out what kind of questions are appropriate, check out this article!

Have Your Say

Are you being abused? Do you have someone who can help you? Comment below!

 

3 Comments

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Poll

Do You Know Someone Who's Being Neglected?

  • My parents are constantly neglecting me.
  • My friend's parents are very neglectful.
  • Sometimes I feel neglected, but I know I've got it pretty good.
  • No, I don't know anyone who's being neglected.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

rainbowpoptart
Goodness... I see where your mother is coming from: if you eat too much, no matter how healthy the food is, and don't work off the calories, you're going to gain weight. But she's being very obsessive and dramatic about it. There is nothing wrong with eating pizza or a cookie every now and then, and there's nothing wrong with relaxing from time to time either. As long as you aren't constantly eating junk and not burning the calories, then you do not have a problem. Eating unhealthy things every now and then does not make you fat. EATING every now and then does not make you fat. Try explaining this to her, calmly and patiently. Tell her that you don't want to be forced to do all of this exercising - being forced to exercise makes it a lot less interesting. Do not take "This is for your own good" for an answer; if you do not want to do it, it is NOT for your good. (This, of course, would be a different story if you were actually fat.) ALSO tell her that exercising too much and not satiating your cravings is JUST AS UNHEALTHY AS BEING FAT IS. If you were to not eat healthful meals and not snack every now and then, no matter how healthy or unhealthy the food is, plus exercise so frequently, you would not be healthy.  Eating is good for you, even if the food isn't. Eating too little and eating too much is not healthy. Exercise is good for you. Not exercising enough and exercising too much is not good for you. If you talking to her doesn't help, try telling another adult how you feel, and maybe they can help get it through to her. Regardless of what happens, take care of yourself. Moderate how much you eat, but don't limit yourself to less than you feel you need. Exercise, but don't do something you don't want to; working out should be fun. Good luck with everything. I'm really sorry that she makes you feel so badly about this.
reply about 23 hours
jake495
jake495 posted in Family Issues:
Make sure she knows its your body not hers In a respectful way of course
reply about 24 hours
ThePaleWalker636
I'm perfectly happy with myself. I'm around 5'6" and somewhere between 140-150 pounds, and I don't feel fat. But my mom is constantly telling me that I am, or, at least, that I'm going to be. She forces me to go to exercise classes because I don't like many sports, tries making me go on diets, but I don't want to. She tells me that if I continue the way I am, having an extra cookie once in a while and only eating cereal for breakfast, that I'll end up fat, and she makes sure to emphasize how horrible that is for a person to live with. She rolls her eyes and sighs whenever she sees me getting a snack, and just in general makes me feel awful for eating the things I like and for relaxing. I've told her that I don't want to do these things and that she makes me feel bad when she says things like that, but she swears it's for my own good and that I should never want to be fat, that it ruins people's lives. How should I deal with this?
reply 1 day
drowning
drowning posted in Friends:
"NS12" wrote: I meet this guy at a festival and we have been talking for the whole week and my mum has noticed I keep texting someone and I know I need to tell her but I don t know how I am going to tell her, I doubt she ll get angry or anything but he lives about 4/5 hours away from me. I know I need to tell her as I don t like keeping secrets from her. I know this was a bit ago, but I truly hope that you were able to be open with your mother. If you feel as if they won't get mad at you, then chances are that your guardian will not. Honesty is the best policy, and if you feel guilt keeping a secret, then it is one you probably shouldn't be keeping.
reply 2 days
drowning
I agree with @rainbowpoptart. You really shouldn't worry about relationships that much given your age. I promise, they're better things to worry about than boys and more secure romances occur later on in life anyways. But, given the situation, you shouldn't worry about either. The boy is unfaithful and so is your friend. If your best friend really valued your friendship, she would not have put it in a position that could end it. Don't waste your time on those who will not put you first just as you do for them; better people will come into your life and they are the ones who you should really worry about.
reply 2 days