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Dear Dish-It, How Do I Get Over Being Cheated On?

Dear Dish-It,

My last girlfriend cheated on me and it totally sucked. I know my new girlfriend would never cheat on me but I can’t seem to relax. I’m always analyzing the things she says and does because I’m still hurt about what happened with my ex and I don’t ever want to go through that again. The problem is I think I may be pushing my new girlfriend away with my attitude. What can I do to stop punishing my new girlfriend for things that my ex did to me in the past?

Just Can’t Forget


Dear JCF,

I feel for you – I really do! Few things hurt as much as being betrayed and cheating is definitely a big betrayal that can leave you feeling worthless and less confident about yourself. Cheating is an awful thing to do to someone you love and the effects of cheating can last for years and spill over into other, new relationships. It sounds like this has happened to you.

But there is good news in all of this. If you do want to heal you can – the key is to want to move on from the pain of your past experience and learn to put your trust and faith in love again.

The first thing I would do if I were you is tell your current girlfriend how you feel. Open up and share your pain with her. Tell her how your ex’s betrayal has left you emotionally scarred and let her know that even though you really don’t want to put up any walls between the two of you, you may be doing just that because you’re trying to keep those old wounds from opening up again.

If your new GF really cares about you and wants to be with you, she’ll understand and will want to help you work past your feelings of insecurity and betrayal – plus, she’ll really appreciate you being open and honest about your feelings with her, trust me!

The tricky part is, you can’t count on your new girlfriend to heal you – she’s not your personal emotional doctor. All you can do is count on her for support while you try and work through your issues on your own or with a professional.

The rest of the work is up to you.

Remind yourself that your new girlfriend is NOT your ex – they are two different people and whenever you feel yourself doubting your new girlfriend you need to remind yourself of this. It’s not fair of you to be punishing your new partner for what your ex did to you – she had nothing to do with it. So make a real effort to overcome your insecurity, or what you say is true – you might push your new girlfriend away for good, but for no good reason.

So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.

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Would You Cheat? Vote!

  • Nope. Never! It's just wrong.
  • Maybe, if my BF/GF wasn't treating me right.
  • I have, but I felt really bad and wouldn't do it again.
  • Yeah, why not? If no one finds out, it's okay.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

rainbowpoptart
rainbowpoptart posted in Style:
Hello Amelia! Fellow natural ginger here. Your hair is a gorgeous colour and I don't blame your parents for not wanting you to dye it. How about the dye only be temporary? It won't stay on forever, so you'll have your cool rainbow colours and still have your natural colour. I do need to warn you, though, don't dye your hair too much. It's not good for your scalp. Good luck. :)
reply about 9 hours
Pink_Cool_Girl
Pink_Cool_Girl posted in Style:
They know what is best for you. But if you really wanna dye your hair, you should compromise with them. Like for instance: tell them you can dye the bottom of your hair the color, and then when you get older, you could maybe dye a little more, and so on. But your parents know what's best for you, and they want you to look presentable.                       ~PCG :)
reply about 10 hours
PaytonTehPanda
PaytonTehPanda posted in Style:
Hello players of KidzWorld! I am Amelia, feel free to call me Payton or whatever you'd like! So, let us jump right into this! :D -=+=- I have natural ginger hair and really, REALLY strict parents. I would like to dye my hair this blue color called "Atomic Turquoise" by Maniac Panic :) However, my parents don't want me to dye my hair as they think that these colors look "trashy". Girls whom I know, have dyed hair. One of them even has piercings I want. Another has had her hair every color of the rainbow and more! So, my parents are very strict and quite... I don't even know. They won't allow me to do anything really... Does anyone have anything I can use to have my parents allow me to dye my hair? Thank you! :D <3 ~Payton
reply about 10 hours
donteatcarrots
donteatcarrots posted in Style:
lisp or not, i'm sure you're a nice person. i don't even know if you can get rid of this lisp- maybe practice speaking at home, try different movements with your lips or mouth, i don't know. don't let a lisp make you less confident, that doesn't change anything about you as a person. be yourself and be confident.
reply 1 day
Ezma
Ezma posted in Style:
Dear Dish it, Im already a grown teen but I don't think I am that easy to get along whem meeting new friends in school. And I think its because I lose my confidence cause I got some speech defect which called lisp. I often sometimes looks weird when theyre talking to me and It really affects me. What should I do? I have read and tried all the practice and therapy I read in the internet for a year but it doesnt make a change. I hope you help me
reply 2 days