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Dear Dish-It, How Do I Get Over Being Cheated On?

Get Over Being Cheated On

Dear Dish-It,

My last girlfriend cheated on me and it totally sucked. I know my new girlfriend would never cheat on me but I can’t seem to relax. I’m always analyzing the things she says and does because I’m still hurt about what happened with my ex and I don’t ever want to go through that again. The problem is I think I may be pushing my new girlfriend away with my attitude. What can I do to stop punishing my new girlfriend for things that my ex did to me in the past?

Just Can’t Forget


Dear JCF,

I feel for you – I really do! Few things hurt as much as being betrayed and cheating is definitely a big betrayal that can leave you feeling worthless and less confident about yourself. Cheating is an awful thing to do to someone you love and the effects of cheating can last for years and spill over into other, new relationships. It sounds like this has happened to you.

But there is good news in all of this. If you do want to heal you can – the key is to want to move on from the pain of your past experience and learn to put your trust and faith in love again.

The first thing I would do if I were you is tell your current girlfriend how you feel. Open up and share your pain with her. Tell her how your ex’s betrayal has left you emotionally scarred and let her know that even though you really don’t want to put up any walls between the two of you, you may be doing just that because you’re trying to keep those old wounds from opening up again.

If your new GF really cares about you and wants to be with you, she’ll understand and will want to help you work past your feelings of insecurity and betrayal – plus, she’ll really appreciate you being open and honest about your feelings with her, trust me!

The tricky part is, you can’t count on your new girlfriend to heal you – she’s not your personal emotional doctor. All you can do is count on her for support while you try and work through your issues on your own or with a professional.

The rest of the work is up to you.

Remind yourself that your new girlfriend is NOT your ex – they are two different people and whenever you feel yourself doubting your new girlfriend you need to remind yourself of this. It’s not fair of you to be punishing your new partner for what your ex did to you – she had nothing to do with it. So make a real effort to overcome your insecurity, or what you say is true – you might push your new girlfriend away for good, but for no good reason.

So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.

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Would You Cheat? Vote!

  • Nope. Never! It's just wrong.
  • Maybe, if my BF/GF wasn't treating me right.
  • I have, but I felt really bad and wouldn't do it again.
  • Yeah, why not? If no one finds out, it's okay.

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

GottaLoveDance
GottaLoveDance posted in Friends:
"sugarpetals" wrote: "-_-NowYouSeeMeD" wrote: I know a lot of u BELIBERS out there might not like this post..but..still...I'm gonna continue!!!!  JUSTIN BIBER is REALLY TALENTED....I KNOW...I DON'T DENIE THAT AT ALL...but personally as a person I HATE HIM!!  I mean he's horrible....he doesn't care about anyone's feelings he clearly proved that by breaking SELENA'S heart in to a thousand pieces & by almost being kicked out of a country!!!:c (not just any..USA).He also did many other kinds of things which are...heheheh....heheh....better off not mentioning!!!:D  I know I'll never be able to reach where he did at the age of 13 but if fame leads to this...then...I rather stay invisible!!!:3   I KNOW HATE IS A STRONG WORD BUT IT CAN'T BE HELPED WHEN IT COMES TO BIBER :'c CAN ANYONE GIVE ME SOME  GOOD REASONS FOR WHICH BIEBER SHOULDN'T BE HATED?!?!:( AT LEAST ...MAYBE THEN I WILL BE ABLE TO AGREE WITH MY FRIEND!!!!:c I really don't wanna change her love for Biber or anything....I just wanna see...even if for once....those things that she and all of u Justin Biber fans  see in him!!!:)   i am not a belieber but this is no way to talk about Justin. maybe he has his flaws but it is not for us to judge. u want reasons why people like him right then here are they: 1.he can sing 2.they like his music 3.he is cute if u hate him then its your problem.......u don't need to like him just don't hate him because he is human, would u like someone to hate you because of the way you live and choose to be? yes i agree he did allot of horrible things, but what right do you have to hate him? and as far as your friend is concerned....u shouldn't feel bad because she sees something you don't see in him and that has nothing to do with you. I agree with sugarpetals I'm sorry to say but she is right.
reply 7 minutes
BookwormKat
My 2 older brothers & I live with my Mom, Step-Dad, & "their kids". They get out of doing chores, coming home at curfew, and can all but do anything & get away with all of it!!!!!! :e My Mom doesn't like it much but won't do anything about it. HELP!!!!!!!  :bigfrown
reply about 6 hours
daredog
daredog posted in Family Issues:
Thanks for the support!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
reply about 8 hours
daredog
daredog posted in Family Issues:
Thanks! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D it's good to know you don't mind! I think I might have lost a friend though... I asked Peter444 and he said he doesn't support gays... I hope he knew what I meant..... :) anyway thanks for the support! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
reply about 9 hours
Boysrock50
It's not wrong, it's not right, it's up to an individual tbh. If you're gay, and others have a problem, then it's them that need to change, not you. Don't give in to peer pressure, do what feels right for you
reply about 9 hours

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