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Dear Dish-It, How Do I Get Over Being Cheated On?

Dear Dish-It,

My last girlfriend cheated on me and it totally sucked. I know my new girlfriend would never cheat on me but I can’t seem to relax. I’m always analyzing the things she says and does because I’m still hurt about what happened with my ex and I don’t ever want to go through that again. The problem is I think I may be pushing my new girlfriend away with my attitude. What can I do to stop punishing my new girlfriend for things that my ex did to me in the past?

Just Can’t Forget


Dear JCF,

I feel for you – I really do! Few things hurt as much as being betrayed and cheating is definitely a big betrayal that can leave you feeling worthless and less confident about yourself. Cheating is an awful thing to do to someone you love and the effects of cheating can last for years and spill over into other, new relationships. It sounds like this has happened to you.

But there is good news in all of this. If you do want to heal you can – the key is to want to move on from the pain of your past experience and learn to put your trust and faith in love again.

The first thing I would do if I were you is tell your current girlfriend how you feel. Open up and share your pain with her. Tell her how your ex’s betrayal has left you emotionally scarred and let her know that even though you really don’t want to put up any walls between the two of you, you may be doing just that because you’re trying to keep those old wounds from opening up again.

If your new GF really cares about you and wants to be with you, she’ll understand and will want to help you work past your feelings of insecurity and betrayal – plus, she’ll really appreciate you being open and honest about your feelings with her, trust me!

The tricky part is, you can’t count on your new girlfriend to heal you – she’s not your personal emotional doctor. All you can do is count on her for support while you try and work through your issues on your own or with a professional.

The rest of the work is up to you.

Remind yourself that your new girlfriend is NOT your ex – they are two different people and whenever you feel yourself doubting your new girlfriend you need to remind yourself of this. It’s not fair of you to be punishing your new partner for what your ex did to you – she had nothing to do with it. So make a real effort to overcome your insecurity, or what you say is true – you might push your new girlfriend away for good, but for no good reason.

So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.

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Would You Cheat? Vote!

  • Nope. Never! It's just wrong.
  • Maybe, if my BF/GF wasn't treating me right.
  • I have, but I felt really bad and wouldn't do it again.
  • Yeah, why not? If no one finds out, it's okay.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

partydiva01
partydiva01 posted in Friends:
Dear dish it, my friend first met eachother on the first day of kindergarten we sat next to one another and we became close. we were BFF's throughout 1st to 2nd grades. then, the second grade teacher realized there were alot of kids in the class. and same w the 3rd grade teacher. so, we had to have a split class. my friend was in the split. I was not. It all seemed like the teachers were doing somthing... weired. all the girls (well, almost there were only 6 girls on one half) were in the split. and all the boys were in regular . AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE WAS WEIRED! :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( all the boy BFF's and the girl BFF's were SPLIT. me and my friend,kids named Nia & Georgia, Isaac& Ethan, and more. it was so sad for all of us.2 months later, I got homschooled. 2 years later im back in public with my 4th grade self. everything had changed. a bunch of people were obsessed w\ a girl my age named kassidy. im neighbors w\ kassidy and she is REALLY cool and nice. but the whole I  [s:sm3/1jw1] kassidy crew got mean. if I asked them to play they would say. "If Kassidy is playing I will" or I would want to be parteners with kassidy on something and they would freak out. anyway jasmine NEVER invited my to anything, and I am trying to be nice to her ( ice cream money, homework help, comfort when sad, ect.) And not to mention I invited her to 3 things!!! on the bright side she came to 2 :thumbsup :thumbsup she also embarassed me by saying that she was moving I freaked out  because I cared about her and I would cry all the time. I even held onto her and said sadly, "PLEASE DON'T GO!!  :sad :sad . later i found out that she was not moving, she was going to CA for a vacation. even the teacher was in on it!! :mad :mad anyways, my parents told me that i should just let go of her. But i am not ready. HELP??? :e :e :e :e :e
reply 4 days
PittsburghPenguinsFanatic
When I was a child I wanted glasses SOO bad, cuz I wanted to copy my mom and sister. And also, I thought they looked cool. I wear glasses now. I have had them for 2 years and honestly I don't mind them. Although, this year I am gonna pry get contacts for swimming better and stuff like that. But if you don't need glasses I wouldn't recommend wearing them. They're not bad, but trust me after a while you will pry not like them as much. But hey, that's my opinion. If you want to do it I'm not gonna stop you. Do what makes you happy in the long run. And tell your friends that they are non prescription if you don't need them, but still get some.
reply 4 days
Bratayley_Fan_7
She is not. I have faced this problem before so I know. You should make a new friend!
reply 4 days
ValenciaRose
ValenciaRose posted in Friends:
I agree I was afraid of that first too. Eventually I just began inviting my friends over and they don't use it/practically obsess over it like I do but they understood why I use kidzworld and not many other forms of social media. 
reply 4 days
ValenciaRose
ValenciaRose posted in Friends:
"btw_sports_rule" wrote:I really like a guy and people think he likes me. I like him but im really scared to tell anyone. I really need help but i don't know who to talk to. I can't talk to parents. They would put me in trouble for falling in love. They believe I can't date until age 20. Aw, well, my advice for you would be to talk to your parents about it. There's no point trying to sneak around like those films and it is better for your mind if you talk to them about it. It can be super difficult I know but if you and your parents get along really well then you guys can talk about it and make it work. On the other hand, if your parents ban you from falling in love as you put it, then I think it's better just to stay as friends with him. 
reply 4 days