Kw-logo-smaller

Dear Dish-It, My BFF Won't Talk To Me

When BFFs Split

Dear Dish-It,

I have been feeling terribly upset about something that keeps bothering me so much. At school my best friend refuses to talk to me (we are not in the same class) and she keeps playing with these 2 girls in my class. Today I had a chance to sit with her and I was trying to get her to be my friend but all she ever said was 'OK' and 'whatever'. My friend thinks that she doesn't even want to know me any more. She has been my best friend ever since I moved to England and then every time I say hi she always just goes hi and then says bye. It is really getting on my nerves but I know that if I tell her she will be so mad that she really won't even speak to me. I had an opportunity to tell her what was going on and I met her at the toilets when I needed to go. She told me how she felt because she knew I was feeling angry that she refused to play with me now. She said that her mum told her to tell me that just because we aren't playing with each other doesn't mean we are not friends and I ignored her.

Today I asked to play with her and and her friends and she told me to go away then she went at lunchtime to me to ask how I was. I said I was fine then she went off angrily. Oh Dish-It, please help me because I am in the middle of a situation that no one will help me with. I am counting on you to give me advice.

pashon4lyf321


Dear pashon4lyf321,


It’s one of the worst feelings in the world when your best friend in the world stops talking to you or starts treating you differently than she used to. The sad truth is, friends sometimes grow apart for no reason. I think the best advice I can give you is to try and find out the root cause of why your BFF is treating you differently and acting strangely about you. Until you know whether or not there’s a reason, there’s not much you can do to help or heal the situation.


The best way to get your friend to open up to you is to ask her if she’d be willing to spend some time talking to you privately. It may sound a little formal, particularly between close friends, but if I were you I’d approach her and ask her if she’d like to come over on the weekend or after school one day, or if she has time at lunch or recess to speak to you alone. It’s important when you do this you don’t make her feel like she’s being targeted or anything. Tell her you miss her and you’d just like to spend some one-on-one time with her, like you used to.


When the two of you are alone and it’s time to talk, be careful not to get angry with her or to raise your voice. Remember, this is your best friend and you need to always treat her the way you yourself would like to be treated, no matter how angry or mean she has been at or to you in the past. Tell her again that you really miss her and you’re wondering if there’s something you did to make her act differently toward you. If she says there is, tell her you want to know what it was so you can make it better.


However, if you do all this and she continues to act mean or get angry with you for simply trying to make things better between the two of you, I think you’re going to have to face the fact that while she may have been your best friend and one point in time, she is no longer acting like a good friend to you at all. In which case, unless you feel there is something you can do that will right whatever wrongs have been caused between you, it’s probably time for you to move on and make some new friends of you own, as well.


I truly hope talking to her works out for you – it’s a shame when close friends grow apart. But should things not resolve themselves the way you hope, know that you tried your best and, in your own way, were the best friend to her that you could possibly be. This means you will find yourself surrounded by plenty of good and caring friends throughout your life, so long as you always treat them the way you yourself want to be treated in return.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.


More Dish-It Advice:

  • I Like Him But He’s Not Smart
  • Does Race Matter?
  • How Do I Deal With My Breakup?
  • Zits Are The Pits!
  • More Great Advice from Dish-It!
  • >
    >

    readers voted!

    Comments

    pug66

    pug66 wrote:

    My bff only talks to me when i go over to her house but thats only because she's friend...
    commented: Sun Feb 16, 2014

    JennyD

    JennyD wrote:

    My BFF still talks to me!
    commented: Sun Sep 15, 2013

    pinklover18

    pinklover18 wrote:

    i know how u feel...
    commented: Sun Sep 15, 2013

    there are 6 more comments

    Please login or register to add comments

    share with your friends


    Twitter Facebook Myspace Digg


    like this article?
    Sign up now to get more just like!

    latest videos

    Sindy-poll

    How Often Do You Hang With Your BFF?

    • 24/7!
    • At least once a day.
    • A couple times a week after school.
    • Once a week - if we're lucky.

    related stories

    My so-called BFF told my crush I liked him. Not that bad, right? Wrong! He was surprised and now ...

    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    AlphaT
    AlphaT posted in Family Issues:
    I can understand why she is saying this, if it has gone on for a long time. If it hasn't, either she is wrong or she really likes Sigmund Freud. 
    reply about 1 hour
    brilliantstudent
    No you are not.
    reply about 1 hour
    Charulata
    My mom think that I'm too desperate because I tell my uncle that he's look like a dinosaur so he feel insulted and he left our home...my mom tell me " don't be over desperate ''...What do you think ? m desperate  or not?
    reply about 1 hour
    Anastashia
    Anastashia posted in Friends:
    Okay..so there's this guy. I'll call him M.  I knew him for an year now.  I was a really quiet girl but after he started to talk to me,I changed.  He became my close friend without me even knowing it. Whenever I need help he's always there even if he's really tired. We stay up at late night texting about my problems and he doesn't stop till I smile. I had a crush on a guy and M helped me forget him. He used to talk to me a lot about an year back but it slowly reduced.  His texting is still the same though. I love him so much. I told him that I love him..actually he figured it out and asked me. So I told him and he told me not to like him. I asked him why and he said that I'd hurt myself because he doesn't love me back the same way. He thinks of me like a sister. And I said that I'll try to love him the same way too. But deep inside...I love him so much. It hurts me when I see him talk with other girls the way he used to talk to me. He doesn't always treat me like a sister. He teases me,he used to make these flirtatious comments.. He told me not to rush into love...he told me to take my time. And whenever I tell him about other guys, he says "....you're just jobless."     I don't know....do you think he loves me?  
    reply about 1 hour
    shae508
    shae508 posted in Family Issues:
    "Boysrock50" wrote: "shae508" wrote: Punch him. I'm kidding, don't hit.  Now, I WOULD suggest talking to him, but people had alredy done that. so here's the devil way to do it. :devil 1. Eat all HIS food and yours, give him a taste of his own grape-flavored medicine. 2. Next time he's out steal back your's and your mother's speakers. 3.  Refuse to do your chores too, when your parents question it, just say if your brother doesn't have to do it, then you don't have to either. there, hope this helps. :) For more devil tips go to. BLAHBLAHNOTREALWEBSITE.FAKE. Sounds like something I'd do :D, but parents should be more firm with their kids if that happens, it's their house, they pay for it, they pay for his food, etc   so he should follow their rules Nice siggy btw :P thanks C:
    reply about 2 hours

    play online games

    Candy-100

    A great online version of the famous Candy Crush. This is the best game launched...

    1515_gl_kidzworld_100x100_jpg_fz

    Intriguing planets, weird and wonderful characters; challenge friends and find a...

    157262_(2)

    When you go back to Candyland, you’ll wonder why you ever left in the first plac...

    100x100_ra_logo_girl

    Uncle George has left you his farm, but unfortunately it’s in pretty bad shape. ...

    _thumb_100x100

    Shoot blobs with different properies to merge yellow blobs. Your blobs can be re...