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Dear Dish-It, Does Race Matter?

Advice for teens relating to interracial dating, discrimination and race issues.
Advice About Interracial Dating

Dear Dish-It,

I'm 14 and I've been with my boyfriend for four-and-a-half months now. However, there are some things I'm having trouble with. He's Asian American, and I'm European American, so many of my relatives are racist to him and call him "Ching Chong" and stuff, even though he's Hmong, not Chinese. They talk about how I shouldn't go out with him because we're different races. However, we both totally love each other, and the only problems are what other people think. Also, my dad doesn't think it's a real relationship since I'm so young. It bugs me. My boyfriend and I, though, have no problems with each other - he's totally sweet and loves me. I just want to know what to say to people when they diss us for being an interracial couple or that it isn't a real relationship cuz we're young.
Kee

Dear Kee,

I'm sorry to hear that your family is making things difficult for you and your guy. When you fall in love with someone, you can't help but hope that all the important people in your life (family and friends) will see why you are crazy about this person. Unfortunately, sometimes your fam disappoints you and you're left to decide how much their opinion matters to you. The way your fam is acting towards your BF is incredibly immature and inappropriate. There is no doubt in my mind that what you and your boyfriend have is a real relationship. Will it be the relationship you stay in for the rest of your life? Probably not - but that doesn't give your family the right to treat you or your BF with disrespect. Sit down with the 'rents and let them know how you feel about how they are treating your guy. They might not change the way they've been actin' but at least you can say you stood up for what's important to you. You're probably going to have to learn to let other people's comments slide off your back and just enjoy your relationship on your own. In the end, you're the one who's dating this guy and not the rest of the world, so just forget about what they have to say!

Dear Dish-It,

I really like this guy, but he's black and I am white. I really don't have a problem with that, but I don't know if I should have a problem. Also I want to ask him to the school dance that is coming up but I am so nervous that I can barely type. I asked my friend to do it for me. Was that a smart decision or should I ask him?
patricesgrrl03

Dear patricesgrrl03,

Why do you think you should have a problem with dating this dude because of his skin color? If he's cool and you think you two would click, then there's nothing else standing in your way. You're obviously mackin' on him, so why not ask him to the school dance yourself? It's usually best to leave the middleman (in this case, your friend,) out of your love life cuz it makes things less complicated. If you need a friend by your side when you actually ask this guy to the dance, that's cool, but try talking to him face-to-face if possible. Good Luck!

So, ya gotta burning question? Need some love directions? Thinking 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losing old friends, bullying or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to here. But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one will ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lot of letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checking the column because she's probably answering something very similar to your question while you're out doing something else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if you have got words of wisdom you wanna share, We'll dish 'em up, too.

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Comments

QTpie14

QTpie14 wrote:

People need to start looking at the world as they want to see it not just black and white...
commented: Fri Dec 06, 2013

until.the.world.meet.me
Race doesn't matter. If your family doesn't understand, then don't be sad. They'll grow accustom to it.
commented: Fri Dec 06, 2013

royaltyrulz

royaltyrulz wrote:

I'm euopean american and my bf kobe is african american. it doesn't bother me. :-]
commented: Sat Oct 19, 2013

there are 36 more comments

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

lawliet16
lawliet16 posted in Friends:
You need to clear things up with your best friend, and express to her what you feel because friendship requires open communication for it to last. Likewise, you should also take into consideration that not because she`s your best friend and she knows that you like this guy, she`s not allowed to be friends and eventually have a romantic relationship with this guy. Love does not follow a first come first serve basis, that`s reality.  Now, if you really love or like that person then you should be happy for him. True love means putting someone else`s happiness before your own EVEN IF you`re not part of that happiness. There`s a reason for everything, someday this will all make sense. :)
reply 10 minutes
noordinarygirl
noordinarygirl posted in Style:
"rebelfeminist" wrote:I would suggest just asking. The worst she can do is say no. Also, if your eyebrows are already fine as is and not bushy or all over the place, you may not even need to. Don't do something just because everyone else does.
reply about 7 hours
rebelfeminist
rebelfeminist posted in Style:
I would suggest just asking. The worst she can do is say no.
reply about 7 hours
Its_skylar1
Hey love , I do the exact same thing as you , you aren't alone... if you ever need anyone , I am here , okay? 
reply about 10 hours
jordand08
Talk to someone, anyone you trust.
reply about 11 hours

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