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Dear Dish-It, Does Race Matter?

Advice for teens relating to interracial dating, discrimination and race issues.
Advice About Interracial Dating

Dear Dish-It,

I'm 14 and I've been with my boyfriend for four-and-a-half months now. However, there are some things I'm having trouble with. He's Asian American, and I'm European American, so many of my relatives are racist to him and call him "Ching Chong" and stuff, even though he's Hmong, not Chinese. They talk about how I shouldn't go out with him because we're different races. However, we both totally love each other, and the only problems are what other people think. Also, my dad doesn't think it's a real relationship since I'm so young. It bugs me. My boyfriend and I, though, have no problems with each other - he's totally sweet and loves me. I just want to know what to say to people when they diss us for being an interracial couple or that it isn't a real relationship cuz we're young.
Kee

Dear Kee,

I'm sorry to hear that your family is making things difficult for you and your guy. When you fall in love with someone, you can't help but hope that all the important people in your life (family and friends) will see why you are crazy about this person. Unfortunately, sometimes your fam disappoints you and you're left to decide how much their opinion matters to you. The way your fam is acting towards your BF is incredibly immature and inappropriate. There is no doubt in my mind that what you and your boyfriend have is a real relationship. Will it be the relationship you stay in for the rest of your life? Probably not - but that doesn't give your family the right to treat you or your BF with disrespect. Sit down with the 'rents and let them know how you feel about how they are treating your guy. They might not change the way they've been actin' but at least you can say you stood up for what's important to you. You're probably going to have to learn to let other people's comments slide off your back and just enjoy your relationship on your own. In the end, you're the one who's dating this guy and not the rest of the world, so just forget about what they have to say!

Dear Dish-It,

I really like this guy, but he's black and I am white. I really don't have a problem with that, but I don't know if I should have a problem. Also I want to ask him to the school dance that is coming up but I am so nervous that I can barely type. I asked my friend to do it for me. Was that a smart decision or should I ask him?
patricesgrrl03

Dear patricesgrrl03,

Why do you think you should have a problem with dating this dude because of his skin color? If he's cool and you think you two would click, then there's nothing else standing in your way. You're obviously mackin' on him, so why not ask him to the school dance yourself? It's usually best to leave the middleman (in this case, your friend,) out of your love life cuz it makes things less complicated. If you need a friend by your side when you actually ask this guy to the dance, that's cool, but try talking to him face-to-face if possible. Good Luck!

So, ya gotta burning question? Need some love directions? Thinking 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losing old friends, bullying or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to here. But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one will ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lot of letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checking the column because she's probably answering something very similar to your question while you're out doing something else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if you have got words of wisdom you wanna share, We'll dish 'em up, too.

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Comments

QTpie14

QTpie14 wrote:

People need to start looking at the world as they want to see it not just black and whi...
commented: Fri Dec 06, 2013

until.the.world.meet.me
Race doesn't matter. If your family doesn't understand, then don't be sad. They'll grow...
commented: Fri Dec 06, 2013

royaltyrulz

royaltyrulz wrote:

I'm euopean american and my bf kobe is african american. it doesn't bother me. :-]
commented: Sat Oct 19, 2013

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Interracial Dating - Is It For You?

  • Race doesn't matter when you love someone.
  • I've never had an interracial relationship, but it wouldn't bother me.
  • I'm undecided.
  • Never! Everyone would judge me.

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

OptimisticJollygirl
You are perfect the way you are.
reply 25 minutes
InternetOwl
InternetOwl posted in Friends:
I'm not sure whether you have actual depression or not (Ask your doctor if you feel you do, they'll be able to help. ^^), but I'm really sorry you feel depressed. I've been there too, and it really does feel like no one cares.   I know you said it's awkward, but try talking to your dad about it. You said he's the only one who seems to listen, so I'm sure he will listen and try to understand. If you start feeling really depressed every day, try doing things to make you feel happier. I don't know what you like to do, but you should do things like relaxing, reading, talking to people and spending more time outside. Smiling more often can help relieve stress and make you happier as well. c: Try meeting new people too. It seems as though your current friends are bringing you down, so you can try to talk to them if you like or find more friends who'll listen and care about you (however, try to keep your old friends as well. They are your friends after all, and it's hard being lonely). You've got friends on here too. But please don't think about doing anything harmful to yourself. You might not be thinking like that now, but being depressed can lead people to this and it's really not the answer.  Good luck! ^u^  
reply about 4 hours
FloraTheWolf
FloraTheWolf posted in Friends:
And you can add me as a friend if you want :D
reply about 5 hours
FloraTheWolf
FloraTheWolf posted in Friends:
I know what its like to feel depressed. And its hard to get out of it. Try thinking of good things, and if you are feeling lonely and have no friends around then you can talk to me if you want :3 When you start feeling depressed, try doing things you like, going out to a park or somewhere to be alone and just relax. Maybe go on walks once in a while. And even if people don't seem to care about you, I do :) So if you start feeling worse you can chat with me. Try not to think of dangerous things like suicide or cutting yourself or even running away though because it may sometimes seem like it could be the answer but it really isn't it'll make your life worse and more messed up. I hope you feel better soon! :D
reply about 5 hours
twyla215
twyla215 posted in Family Issues:
"just for fun" wrote:Dear Dash-It and Friends,(this is my sissys account..we both use it)I'm a girl of course.. And I've got 13 this july 03.. and the thhing is I don't feel like my growth is perfect for my age! I'm really skinny.. I like being skinny! 'Cause my body looks great! And any boys could be impressed by my body! ;)My hight is only 4'8!! A 13 years old girl is only 4'8!! yeah I feel really sad! As for my cousin she's 5'3 and she's skinny too but she's tall!! I feel bad when she bullies me..So Is there a quick way for me to get tall in 1 month?yes the white stuff is normal its dischargeAlso I haven't started my period. I get white gloomy stuffs that smells funny. And I haven't talked to my mom or anyone about it yet. I'm really ashamed..but is this normal?And I think my ###### are not normal for my "puny" I mean small height or body! Their growing and growing! Their size is 29!! I'm feeling guilty! Is there any exercises to make them smaller?Thats that help me....
reply about 15 hours

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