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Dear Dish-It, Does Race Matter?

Dear Dish-It,

I'm 14 and I've been with my boyfriend for four-and-a-half months now. However, there are some things I'm having trouble with. He's Asian American, and I'm European American, so many of my relatives are racist to him and call him "Ching Chong" and stuff, even though he's Hmong, not Chinese. They talk about how I shouldn't go out with him because we're different races. However, we both totally love each other, and the only problems are what other people think. Also, my dad doesn't think it's a real relationship since I'm so young. It bugs me. My boyfriend and I, though, have no problems with each other - he's totally sweet and loves me. I just want to know what to say to people when they diss us for being an interracial couple or that it isn't a real relationship cuz we're young.
Kee

Dear Kee,

I'm sorry to hear that your family is making things difficult for you and your guy. When you fall in love with someone, you can't help but hope that all the important people in your life (family and friends) will see why you are crazy about this person. Unfortunately, sometimes your fam disappoints you and you're left to decide how much their opinion matters to you. The way your fam is acting towards your BF is incredibly immature and inappropriate. There is no doubt in my mind that what you and your boyfriend have is a real relationship. Will it be the relationship you stay in for the rest of your life? Probably not - but that doesn't give your family the right to treat you or your BF with disrespect. Sit down with the 'rents and let them know how you feel about how they are treating your guy. They might not change the way they've been actin' but at least you can say you stood up for what's important to you. You're probably going to have to learn to let other people's comments slide off your back and just enjoy your relationship on your own. In the end, you're the one who's dating this guy and not the rest of the world, so just forget about what they have to say!

Dear Dish-It,

I really like this guy, but he's black and I am white. I really don't have a problem with that, but I don't know if I should have a problem. Also I want to ask him to the school dance that is coming up but I am so nervous that I can barely type. I asked my friend to do it for me. Was that a smart decision or should I ask him?
patricesgrrl03

Dear patricesgrrl03,

Why do you think you should have a problem with dating this dude because of his skin color? If he's cool and you think you two would click, then there's nothing else standing in your way. You're obviously mackin' on him, so why not ask him to the school dance yourself? It's usually best to leave the middleman (in this case, your friend,) out of your love life cuz it makes things less complicated. If you need a friend by your side when you actually ask this guy to the dance, that's cool, but try talking to him face-to-face if possible. Good Luck!

So, ya gotta burning question? Need some love directions? Thinking 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losing old friends, bullying or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to here. But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one will ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lot of letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checking the column because she's probably answering something very similar to your question while you're out doing something else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if you have got words of wisdom you wanna share, We'll dish 'em up, too.

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Interracial Dating - Is It For You?

  • Race doesn't matter when you love someone.
  • I've never had an interracial relationship, but it wouldn't bother me.
  • I'm undecided.
  • Never! Everyone would judge me.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

Castlemega
Pm me (: i know how you feel
reply about 15 hours
GhettoFish
Hey, I'm only 13 and I'm already sick of my life, and it's all because of my family, you'd think friends are likely to hurt your emotions some time and you have your family to love you and back you up, for me? No no that's not the case, I have by far the least caring family and that's that. I'm the youngest and my family all treat me like a slave. They don't let me sit at home and play on my PS4, my dad lives separate and my mum don't want me to go there and do nothing either. But they don't let me go out with my friends either not even see them, and I know my family deeply and I know it's cuz they don't want me to enjoy my self or have fun. My siblings will try to make my out as a bad person and a burden to the family. If I try explaining myself if they've got something wrong about me I get shouted out or ignored. And punished sometime for something that I probably didn't even do. And even if they can tell my bro or sis got something wrong about me the rest of the family still back them up to get me in the wrong. I have cried and cried at night hit myself and put physical pressure on my body because of the stress it gives me. I can't speak to my family about it because I'm not allowed my say in anything, I just get ignored or in trouble. I don't know what to do anymore and I think I am depressed because it hurts and what I'm going through stresses me and it gets really hard to try make myself feel happier and better, I am actually considering killing myself but I know it's not the right thing to do and just hurting myself is fine now. But I need your help now. What do I do for myself in this situation? Because I don't know what I can do myself right now. Help! Thanks
reply about 19 hours
Jesusboy03
Jesusboy03 posted in Friends:
Dear Dish-It,   There is this girl named Jozelyn. But let me start at the beginning. The very beginning. One day, I was born. Well, maybe not that much at the beginning. Okay, so I am part of this homeschool group, and I have been since I was around 6. I am 12 now. So there was this one girl in it named Rebecca. I liked her since I joined, and when I was around 8, since my sister is friends with Rebecca's sister, we were invited to her birthday party. Oh, and I had told my sister about how I liked Rebecca. So, we were going to go on a hay-ride, when my sister asked Rebecca, right in front of me, "So do you like Dean? Like like like Dean" (I'm Dean). Well, I was mortified, and it looked like Rebecca was too.    Fast forward.    I no longer like Rebecca. Now, I like this one girl named Jozelyn who is in my Sunday School class. I've liked her since I stopped liking Rebecca, which was about after that incident. So, I have been in the same Sunday School class with her since I joined this church. They have Kindergarten, 1st and 2nd grade, 3rd and 4th, 5th and 6th, and 7th and 8th. Even though I am in 7th grade, since last fall, I was in 5th and 6th. So is Jozelyn. So, in February, I decided to be brave. (I am normally an introvert) I made a beautiful origami rose, bought a small box of chocolates, and wrote a note the was signed, 'Your secret admirer'. I had an adult that I trusted give it to her with the clue, "The person who this is from shares his name with the first man to walk on the moon's brother". So, it wouldn't take long to find out, as well as the fact that she knows that I make origami. Oh, and luckily, at that time, instead of doing my Sunday School, I helped to teach the 3rd and 4th with my mom.   So, I kind of avoided her, except for times that we would catch eye contact, and we would both look away. (She's normally outgoing, but with this she's shy also) So it was like that for awhile, until, one time the 5th and 6th class were doing a bible trivia game. Due to my vast biblical knowledge, I was a lifeline. So, the one time, her team came into the 3rd and 4th classroom, and asked me a question. I kept my eyes on the floor the whole time. I accidentally got the answer wrong, and they left. Oh, and I decided to tell my sister all about it, because I needed to tell a kid around my age. But I made her promise not to tell anyone.   So meanwhile, it was now June. I still liked her just as much, if not more. So there is this thing that comes to our town twice every year. It's called Missoula Children's Theatre, and two tour actor/directors come to Thrasher Opera House (A place for plays in our town), and hold auditions on a Monday for a play, and perform on a Saturday. So I auditioned for Assistant Director. (They help get people ready backstage). You'll never guess who else was auditioning. Jozelyn. I tried to keep calm, and I did get to be one of the assistant directors. The play was Rumpelstiltskin, and she got villager.   Since she was part of a large group, I didn't have really any interaction with her. But sometimes, the girl next to her would look at me, and whisper to Jozelyn. So, other than awkward times when we would catch each other's eyes, it was mostly uneventful. Oh, and I should mention that the rehearsals were from 3:00 to 6:00, then there was a 30 minute dinner break, and then another practice from 6:30 to 8:30. The dinner break was when we would go downstairs, eat, and socialize. I do not socialize. So I just go into my tiny corner, and eat, and sit there. Oh, and on Thursday, and did a short magic show during dinner.    But on Friday, everything changed. I had some nerve again, and I made an origami tulip, and wrote a note that said, "I think that you did a great job this week! Good luck for tomorrow, and break a leg!", and then I signed it in calligraphy. I actually signed my name. No more secret admirer. I put it in a brown lunch bag that said, "To: Jozelyn" on it. Then I secretly put it on the chair that she normally sits at, and waited. Well, some people noticed that I looked very nervous, some said I was shaking, and they crowded around me. Well, Jozelyn came in, and she saw the bag. I missed part of it because of all of the people, but I saw her looking very happy, and running downstairs. Well, eventually, the people went away from me, and I continued to act like a statue. So rehearsal went well for the day, and I continued to avoid her.   On Saturday,  everybody comes at 11:00 AM, and we do a dress rehearsal. Well, I couldn't much avoid her then, so I acted like a statue. Oh, and my sister has this one friend, Iris, who I was also currently writing and directing a movie with, and we would often drive her there. So, we did the dress rehearsal without a hitch, and then had lunch. And at lunch, Iris was hiring people for our movie. Well, I suggested Jozelyn, and Iris asked her, and she said yes. Then we got ready for the first performance. So, it was going good, but then I needed to get Rumpelstiltskin ready, and there was a bunch of people in the way.   Jozelyn saw me struggling, and (Cue angel music :angel ), she asked, "Do you need help Dean?".THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME THAT WE HAD SPOKEN SINCE FEBRUARY! Okay, so I said. "Yes please, I need Rumpelstiltskin". And then she quickly got him for me!  So, then we finished, and went for dinner. We went to a place called goose blind, and I got gluten free pizza (dietary restriction). Oh, and Iris came with us. So, then my sister and Iris went to this place called Guth's that was a candy shop/cafe. I stayed outside. I thought that I heard Iris calling me in, but didn't think much of it.    So, we went inside, and did the second performance. At the end, everyone poses for photos in groups, while the other actors went to change into their clothes. So, the villagers were one of the first ones, and they went downstairs. Well, it was almost time for the assistant directors to go, when Jozelyn came up. She asked me, "Could I sign your shirt?" (It was a tradition for all of the cast members to sign each other's shirts from the play). Well, I had wanted her to sign it all week, then the shirt would be priceless, but of course, I didn't ask her to. Well, I was surprised, and said yes. I ran to grab my sharpies, but then we were called on for pictures. Well, when I returned, she was waiting for me. I gave her the sharpie, and tried to not tremble while she signed it.   Fast forward.   We were in the car going home, and I told my mom and sister about what happened. My mom remarked, "It's nice that she wanted to after what happened". "After what happened?" I asked. Well, my mom told how Jozelyn and her mom were in Guth's when Iris and my sister came in. Well, Iris had said in a loud voice, "Oh Jozelyn, you're here! I should get Dean!" Then she said. "You should really sign his shirt!" Well, then my mom had pulled her aside, and told her not to. Then Iris realized that she shouldn't have and was really sorry. Meanwhile, my sister had just been standing, watching, and not stopping her.   After my mom had said what happened, I asked how Iris knew. My sister said that she didn't know, but finally she admitted that she had told Iris. It was Rebecca all over again. I was really,  really, mad at my sister, but didn't say anything, lest I yell at her.       Well, that's all, except for that we also both were helping at our VBS a couple weeks later, but nothing big happened there. But Sunday School will be starting soon. Oh and the Missoula Children's Theatre happened from June ##-## ####. I am aware that it is not that well written. Mortified in the Midwest
reply 1 day
Emaans
Emaans posted in Friends:
??
reply 1 day
Readingqueen
Readingqueen posted in Friends:
perfect friend would beFunnyKindSmartQuirkyAnd he/she would like to sing/write songs 
reply 1 day