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Dear Dish-It, Does Race Matter?

Dear Dish-It,

I'm 14 and I've been with my boyfriend for four-and-a-half months now. However, there are some things I'm having trouble with. He's Asian American, and I'm European American, so many of my relatives are racist to him and call him "Ching Chong" and stuff, even though he's Hmong, not Chinese. They talk about how I shouldn't go out with him because we're different races. However, we both totally love each other, and the only problems are what other people think. Also, my dad doesn't think it's a real relationship since I'm so young. It bugs me. My boyfriend and I, though, have no problems with each other - he's totally sweet and loves me. I just want to know what to say to people when they diss us for being an interracial couple or that it isn't a real relationship cuz we're young.
Kee

Dear Kee,

I'm sorry to hear that your family is making things difficult for you and your guy. When you fall in love with someone, you can't help but hope that all the important people in your life (family and friends) will see why you are crazy about this person. Unfortunately, sometimes your fam disappoints you and you're left to decide how much their opinion matters to you. The way your fam is acting towards your BF is incredibly immature and inappropriate. There is no doubt in my mind that what you and your boyfriend have is a real relationship. Will it be the relationship you stay in for the rest of your life? Probably not - but that doesn't give your family the right to treat you or your BF with disrespect. Sit down with the 'rents and let them know how you feel about how they are treating your guy. They might not change the way they've been actin' but at least you can say you stood up for what's important to you. You're probably going to have to learn to let other people's comments slide off your back and just enjoy your relationship on your own. In the end, you're the one who's dating this guy and not the rest of the world, so just forget about what they have to say!

Dear Dish-It,

I really like this guy, but he's black and I am white. I really don't have a problem with that, but I don't know if I should have a problem. Also I want to ask him to the school dance that is coming up but I am so nervous that I can barely type. I asked my friend to do it for me. Was that a smart decision or should I ask him?
patricesgrrl03

Dear patricesgrrl03,

Why do you think you should have a problem with dating this dude because of his skin color? If he's cool and you think you two would click, then there's nothing else standing in your way. You're obviously mackin' on him, so why not ask him to the school dance yourself? It's usually best to leave the middleman (in this case, your friend,) out of your love life cuz it makes things less complicated. If you need a friend by your side when you actually ask this guy to the dance, that's cool, but try talking to him face-to-face if possible. Good Luck!

So, ya gotta burning question? Need some love directions? Thinking 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losing old friends, bullying or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to here. But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one will ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lot of letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checking the column because she's probably answering something very similar to your question while you're out doing something else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if you have got words of wisdom you wanna share, We'll dish 'em up, too.

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Interracial Dating - Is It For You?

  • Race doesn't matter when you love someone.
  • I've never had an interracial relationship, but it wouldn't bother me.
  • I'm undecided.
  • Never! Everyone would judge me.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

bffeaea
bffeaea posted in Friends:
I don't know you and I'm not exactly sure how you act, but being friendly is definitely the way to go. Don't change yourself for ANYBODY. Especially someone who you don't need to impress. Speaking of impressing, don't try, do. If you are telling a story and that happens to impress them than that's great! But don't go out of your way to try to make yourself look awesome because I'm sure you already are. Be yourself. But the most important thug now you can do is not try to make a million friends. Because personally I would rather have one AWESOME friend than a million ok friends. I hope this helped. :)
reply about 3 hours
HoneyHamstern
HoneyHamstern posted in Friends:
Be yourself and most important of all, be kind. You will get great friends by doing so. Being popular doesn't always mean being nice; sometimes people tend to be rude and bossy to be "popular" and that isn't good. But if you participate or even start a group at school, at the library or somewhere important in the community (community service like the Rotary Club is a good way to start for kids and teens) can be a great way to meet friends and share your happiness.
reply about 3 hours
esthery27
"f3rr3tgal" wrote:dear dish-it,        I absolutely love my family but... my dad has these headaches  where if they are really bad i can not say anything right he will get really mad. i don't know what to do i really hate being yelled at by my  dad and i love him soo much !!!! what do i do?  [s:sm3/1jvp]                                                       thanks,                                                            f3rr3tgal Tell him that you love him and you understand he's suffering but you really don't like it when he yells at you. You can write a note or a card to him. I'm sure he'll understand. And of course if needed see a doctor so that he'll know what to do to deal with those headaches.
reply about 4 hours
esthery27
esthery27 posted in Friends:
You won't want to be, it's exhausting. Just be happy the way you are and don't care about what others think or say about you.
reply about 4 hours
GiddyUpGecko
GiddyUpGecko posted in Friends:
What if you just aren't populr, and you want to be???  :(
reply about 17 hours