Dear Dish-It, Does Race Matter?

Dear Dish-It,

I'm 14 and I've been with my boyfriend for four-and-a-half months now. However, there are some things I'm having trouble with. He's Asian American, and I'm European American, so many of my relatives are racist to him and call him "Ching Chong" and stuff, even though he's Hmong, not Chinese. They talk about how I shouldn't go out with him because we're different races. However, we both totally love each other, and the only problems are what other people think. Also, my dad doesn't think it's a real relationship since I'm so young. It bugs me. My boyfriend and I, though, have no problems with each other - he's totally sweet and loves me. I just want to know what to say to people when they diss us for being an interracial couple or that it isn't a real relationship cuz we're young.

Dear Kee,

I'm sorry to hear that your family is making things difficult for you and your guy. When you fall in love with someone, you can't help but hope that all the important people in your life (family and friends) will see why you are crazy about this person. Unfortunately, sometimes your fam disappoints you and you're left to decide how much their opinion matters to you. The way your fam is acting towards your BF is incredibly immature and inappropriate. There is no doubt in my mind that what you and your boyfriend have is a real relationship. Will it be the relationship you stay in for the rest of your life? Probably not - but that doesn't give your family the right to treat you or your BF with disrespect. Sit down with the 'rents and let them know how you feel about how they are treating your guy. They might not change the way they've been actin' but at least you can say you stood up for what's important to you. You're probably going to have to learn to let other people's comments slide off your back and just enjoy your relationship on your own. In the end, you're the one who's dating this guy and not the rest of the world, so just forget about what they have to say!

Dear Dish-It,

I really like this guy, but he's black and I am white. I really don't have a problem with that, but I don't know if I should have a problem. Also I want to ask him to the school dance that is coming up but I am so nervous that I can barely type. I asked my friend to do it for me. Was that a smart decision or should I ask him?

Dear patricesgrrl03,

Why do you think you should have a problem with dating this dude because of his skin color? If he's cool and you think you two would click, then there's nothing else standing in your way. You're obviously mackin' on him, so why not ask him to the school dance yourself? It's usually best to leave the middleman (in this case, your friend,) out of your love life cuz it makes things less complicated. If you need a friend by your side when you actually ask this guy to the dance, that's cool, but try talking to him face-to-face if possible. Good Luck!

So, ya gotta burning question? Need some love directions? Thinking 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losing old friends, bullying or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to here. But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one will ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lot of letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checking the column because she's probably answering something very similar to your question while you're out doing something else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if you have got words of wisdom you wanna share, We'll dish 'em up, too.

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

EndlessDream posted in Friends:
Hmmm....Then she mustn't be necessarily "using" you, if she is not getting something in return ( As far as we know of). However, It does sound like she is being extremely unfair. That just might be how she is. Not exactly loyal to anyone. Well, try to talk to her about it and tell her how you feel. And, if it doesn't work out, then she might not be a great friend to hang around with, and maybe you will find someone else who enjoys your company. I hope this helps, and good luck :)
reply about 14 hours
XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
No not really. Like I said, one minute she's all smiley and then she doesn't even look at me. Most of the time I see her with Daniela and Andrea. Today she was asking me if I was going to hang out with her, Daniela, Andrea and Luisa during recess. When I told her that I was 'going to have to think' she was like, "Whatever." and ran off to catch up with the Threesome. Thanks. :)
reply about 14 hours
EndlessDream posted in Friends:
Is she asking you to do things for her? Like help with homework, carry her books and so on?
reply about 14 hours
XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
This is gonna be long:   I have this 'friend' Amelia. She and I bonded really fast last year and we've become inseparable.   But lately she's blowing me off and my other best friend Belen told me: Amelia is actually using you. She does this to new kids at school, especially from foreign countries. She thinks because you're Chinese and the Chinese teacher's daughter, you'll help her. She's also using you as a backup friend - a substitute. There's this new girl Daniela, who Amelia thinks is her new best friend. She thinks that when Daniela stop hanging out with her, she'll have you.   The thing is, Daniela is pretty nice and she probably doesn't know all the trouble she's causing. Belen's old 'best friend' Andrea is doing the same to her.   I also learned that Amelia is seemingly the 'most popular girl in school' because she's mean to everyone. She always passes by the little kids' classrooms and hugs them & stuff. They seem to love her, but now I know it's because they think if they're nice they won't get bullied.   Maybe she WAS using me but I dunno. Belen says that each kid in the entire school has a bad story about Amelia and something she did to them. I said, "Then how was she so nice to me last year?" Then Belen was all like, "She was using you."   I don't know if she's telling the truth. She and Amelia are deadly enemies and she might be making up the whole Amelia story just to get back at her. Although Amelia has been dropping a few signs that she IS using me as a substitute friend.   Sometimes when I walk in, she'll be like "OOOOHHH! CASSANDRA! HI! HOW ARE YOU! C'MON, LOOK AT THIS! WE'RE GONNA HAVE SOOOO MUCH FUN TOGETHER ..."   And other times I'm like, "Hey, Amelia!" and she says, "Oh. Huh? Yeah, hi ..."  Once during PE we had to sit down and on the way to the gym, she was chatting with me in a BBBBFFFF way. But then when we had to partner up she said with Andrea, Daniela and someone else who I forgot.   I don't know what to do. It's just so weird. Even though now I know she MIGHT be using me (I'm not sure if she really is) it just seems WEIRD. Even for a supposed ##### she was my possibly fake best friend for the whole of last year. It's WEIRD to suddenly switch.   I don't even know if this should be happening. We've only just started 5th grade. Doesn't this WEIRD #### start happening around middle school? Thank you, everyone who will help in advance. P.S. Please include flirting advice. - A Girl Who Might Just Lose Her Possibly Fake Best Friend
reply about 15 hours
Okay I have school today and my hair is not sitting how I want it to. But my mum says it is sitting fine WHEN ITS NOT! SHE IS NOT LISTENING what do i do?
reply about 16 hours

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