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Dear Dish-It: My BFF's GF Hates Me

Never Come Between A Couple

Dear Dish-It,

I’m a girl with a best friend who’s a guy. The problem is, his girlfriend doesn't like me and tries to make it hard for me to be around him. Once she told him to choose between me and her! He told her goodbye, but then they got back together. She’s not hateful to me all the time – I try to get along with her but it’s not always easy. When she’s mean, I usually just stay away from her – and my BFF comes with me, since he doesn’t like the way she acts, either. I’m totally frustrated with this situation – what should I do?

Confused Friend


Dear CF,


It seems to me like you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place (as the saying goes). On the one side, you want to stay close with your best friend and hang out with him. On the other side, he’s got what sounds like a very jealous girlfriend (jealous either of you or of your close friendship with her boyfriend – your BFF) who would rather you have nothing to do with her man. What do you do?


The answer is nothing. There’s nothing you can do and nothing you should do in this situation. Your best friend has chosen to be in a relationship with this girl, and you need to respect that (especially if he means as much to you as you say he does). You must be careful not to do anything that puts you in the middle of them or their relationship – which means stay out of it and stay away!


I’m sorry to be harsh, but this is the reality of the situation. Until your best friend decides to break up with his girlfriend (and, since it’s happened once before, I wouldn't be surprised to see it happen again, sooner or later) or she starts liking you and accepting your friendship with her man, you need to keep your nose out of their business and let their relationship run its course naturally – or you may be in jeopardy of losing a friend forever.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.




More Dish-It Advice:

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    Comments

    secretgirl123

    secretgirl123 wrote:

    You need to leave her alone. I mean yeah it is your best friend's girl but you need to ...
    commented: Thu Feb 13, 2014

    danae1444

    danae1444 wrote:

    jus ignore her if she doesnt like you well fine its her problem but she cannot break up...
    commented: Mon Jun 25, 2012

    auboat

    auboat wrote:

    i have the same situation with my bff's boy friend he is a complete jerk but she alwa...
    commented: Mon Jun 06, 2011

    there are 3 more comments

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    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    samkitty214
    samkitty214 posted in Friends:
    i think the best way to settle that is to sit them down and talk to them and if girl2 wont stop asking ask her as calmly as you can to be quiet and listen to what you have to say. and explain to them how much you just want them to get along. second way to settle this is to put them in the same room together until they do get along.
    reply 16 minutes
    avatar-me
    avatar-me posted in Friends:
    Thanks guys. Thoses tips helped. They are getting almond better now.
    reply 39 minutes
    kaykay2002
    kaykay2002 posted in Friends:
    "Wooper1255" wrote:No. Just no. Mr. Face does not approve this. ._.Okay, okay, let's get serious.Your best friend BULLYING you? And loves it when you get mad? What the heck? SHE'S NOT EVEN YOUR FRIEND!You should have a talk with your best friend. No seriously, she doesn't have any friends cause she's a bully and no one likes to be friends with a bully...You should tell your best friend that she NEEDS to change her attitude! She needs to be more nicer to others also.Also, a best friend is: Caring, Kind, Loyal, Nice, Thoughtful, and will stand up for you against bullies, will be there if you're upset, maybe they'll even CRY with you!A best friend is totally NOT: Someone who bullies you, Someone who likes it when your madYou should ask her any of the following questions:Are you Okay?Why are you bullying me? You're my friend.Is something wrong like family issues?Questions like that are good because there may be a reason for bullying. She could be suffering from depression, or is confused or lonely. Just talk to her. Have a discussion with her. Also, you should talk to other people. Ask them why they aren't friends with your best friend. Then maybe, after they tell you what they don't like about her, you can go back to your best friend and tell her the things she needs to improve on. Also, if necessary, tell an adult like your mom, a teacher, consular, or her mom.Whatever you think will solve this conflict between you and your best friend well... just go for it. But think about the outcome too.Hope I helped, I might add some tips and suggestions to you. :3  your right and the only reason I have put up with her this long is because her dad died but I cant stand her anymore so but seriously I feel like there is another reason bcuz she has had people confront her saying "u know what I have put up wit this for a while and I have told u to stop and u don't listen and I know your dad died but that doesn't mean u can treat people like that "  but she still does it and for the past 3 yrs. I have put up with it but not anymore I will talk to her about it. Thanks.
    reply about 15 hours
    Wooper1255
    Wooper1255 posted in Friends:
    You NEED to tell your parents or HER parents about her attitude, this is abuse from your OWN best friend! Tell an adult, don't be afraid, it's not even SILLY to tell an adult, this is serious, she is HURTING you! Tell someone before things get out of hand and she REALLY hurts you! D=
    reply about 16 hours
    Wooper1255
    Wooper1255 posted in Friends:
    No. Just no. Mr. Face does not approve this. ._. Okay, okay, let's get serious. Your best friend BULLYING you? And loves it when you get mad? What the heck? SHE'S NOT EVEN YOUR FRIEND! You should have a talk with your best friend. No seriously, she doesn't have any friends cause she's a bully and no one likes to be friends with a bully... You should tell your best friend that she NEEDS to change her attitude! She needs to be more nicer to others also. Also, a best friend is: Caring, Kind, Loyal, Nice, Thoughtful, and will stand up for you against bullies, will be there if you're upset, maybe they'll even CRY with you! A best friend is totally NOT: Someone who bullies you, Someone who likes it when your mad You should ask her any of the following questions: Are you Okay? Why are you bullying me? You're my friend. Is something wrong like family issues? Questions like that are good because there may be a reason for bullying. She could be suffering from depression, or is confused or lonely. Just talk to her. Have a discussion with her. Also, you should talk to other people. Ask them why they aren't friends with your best friend. Then maybe, after they tell you what they don't like about her, you can go back to your best friend and tell her the things she needs to improve on. Also, if necessary, tell an adult like your mom, a teacher, consular, or her mom. Whatever you think will solve this conflict between you and your best friend well... just go for it. But think about the outcome too. Hope I helped, I might add some tips and suggestions to you. :3
    reply about 16 hours

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