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Dear Dish-It: My BFF's GF Hates Me

Dear Dish-It,

I’m a girl with a best friend who’s a guy. The problem is, his girlfriend doesn't like me and tries to make it hard for me to be around him. Once she told him to choose between me and her! He told her goodbye, but then they got back together. She’s not hateful to me all the time – I try to get along with her but it’s not always easy. When she’s mean, I usually just stay away from her – and my BFF comes with me, since he doesn’t like the way she acts, either. I’m totally frustrated with this situation – what should I do?

Confused Friend

Dear CF,

It seems to me like you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place (as the saying goes). On the one side, you want to stay close with your best friend and hang out with him. On the other side, he’s got what sounds like a very jealous girlfriend (jealous either of you or of your close friendship with her boyfriend – your BFF) who would rather you have nothing to do with her man. What do you do?

The answer is nothing. There’s nothing you can do and nothing you should do in this situation. Your best friend has chosen to be in a relationship with this girl, and you need to respect that (especially if he means as much to you as you say he does). You must be careful not to do anything that puts you in the middle of them or their relationship – which means stay out of it and stay away!

I’m sorry to be harsh, but this is the reality of the situation. Until your best friend decides to break up with his girlfriend (and, since it’s happened once before, I wouldn't be surprised to see it happen again, sooner or later) or she starts liking you and accepting your friendship with her man, you need to keep your nose out of their business and let their relationship run its course naturally – or you may be in jeopardy of losing a friend forever.

So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.

More Dish-It Advice:

  • It Really Hurt My Friend
  • How Do I Know If He Likes Me?
  • My BFF’s Ex Likes Me
  • I Cry Over Him
  • More Great Advice from Dish-It!

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    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    hugebear posted in Friends:
    My bff and I were best friends but weve grown apart im getting older and she still wants to do kid stuff I have new friends now I feel like im being mean to her but like doesn't she get the memo I feel both guilty and mad:} Gosh.... put the shoe on  the other foot and see how would you feel if your bff done this on you. You has been bffs for the long time [Im guessing] and your maturing faster than her.  I agrees you are being mean to her if you doesnt discuss how your feeling with her and ignoring / avoiding her or whatever your doing.    She has been the good friend to you and she deserves to understand if you is growing up faster than her.  I really feels sad for how she could be feeling right now. She didnt do anything wrong.  You changed. Not her. Please be nice to your friend/ex friend and let her down gently [if you really has to] ^^ Me opinion  
    reply 10 minutes
    Desiixx posted in Friends:
    Don't worry about it. Friends grow apart. That's how things go. Just talk to her about it, she'll understand. 
    reply 19 minutes
    trendycute posted in Friends:
    My bff and I were best friends but weve grown apart im getting older and she still wants to do kid stuff I have new friends now I feel like im being mean to her but like doesn't she get the memo I feel both guilty and mad:}
    reply 28 minutes
    epic587 posted in Family Issues:
    Yes and no. Parents should be a bit strict on you if they care about you.  If they care about you they would be strict. 
    reply about 3 hours
    Don´t rush trying to have a bf, you´ll get one. Just enjoy being young, and trust that one will come your way!  :)
    reply about 3 hours

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