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Dear Dish-It: My BFF's GF Hates Me

Dear Dish-It,

I’m a girl with a best friend who’s a guy. The problem is, his girlfriend doesn't like me and tries to make it hard for me to be around him. Once she told him to choose between me and her! He told her goodbye, but then they got back together. She’s not hateful to me all the time – I try to get along with her but it’s not always easy. When she’s mean, I usually just stay away from her – and my BFF comes with me, since he doesn’t like the way she acts, either. I’m totally frustrated with this situation – what should I do?

Confused Friend


Dear CF,


It seems to me like you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place (as the saying goes). On the one side, you want to stay close with your best friend and hang out with him. On the other side, he’s got what sounds like a very jealous girlfriend (jealous either of you or of your close friendship with her boyfriend – your BFF) who would rather you have nothing to do with her man. What do you do?


The answer is nothing. There’s nothing you can do and nothing you should do in this situation. Your best friend has chosen to be in a relationship with this girl, and you need to respect that (especially if he means as much to you as you say he does). You must be careful not to do anything that puts you in the middle of them or their relationship – which means stay out of it and stay away!


I’m sorry to be harsh, but this is the reality of the situation. Until your best friend decides to break up with his girlfriend (and, since it’s happened once before, I wouldn't be surprised to see it happen again, sooner or later) or she starts liking you and accepting your friendship with her man, you need to keep your nose out of their business and let their relationship run its course naturally – or you may be in jeopardy of losing a friend forever.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.




More Dish-It Advice:

  • It Really Hurt My Friend
  • How Do I Know If He Likes Me?
  • My BFF’s Ex Likes Me
  • I Cry Over Him
  • More Great Advice from Dish-It!
  • 5 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    bnz05
    bnz05 posted in Friends:
    Hii, i want to give advice to all of you about this subject. first of all, always trust your BFF. why?, it's because she/he is the one who makes you feel like a family and always be there with you. Second, always remember your BFF where ever you are. i got this idea from my bff whose not n the same school with me. 8 February was her birthday while i said happy birthday to her 2 day later (i know i'm the worst). i literally panicked and said sorry to her like a thousand times. while she said "it's okay, i'm glad someone in your school (because some of us transfers here at my new school too) remembers my birthday, maybe all of them already forget me" she answered (which i'm touched). and the last, never ever betray your BFF. like i said at the start, they are like your family and will do anything for you to be happy. so keep their trust too. and that's all from me, hope it's helpful. love ya [s:sm3/1jw1]
    reply about 4 hours
    esthery27
    esthery27 posted in Friends:
    I think you should just be yourself and be patient. You will find some eventually
    reply about 6 hours
    mococospartan
    mococospartan posted in Friends:
    "mococospartan" wrote:You see i am very POPULAR at school but the truth is im popular but dont have any true friends the end 
    reply about 7 hours
    mococospartan
    mococospartan posted in Friends:
    You see i am very POPULAR at school but the truth is im popular but dont have any true friends the end 
    reply about 7 hours
    bffeaea
    bffeaea posted in Friends:
    I don't know you and I'm not exactly sure how you act, but being friendly is definitely the way to go. Don't change yourself for ANYBODY. Especially someone who you don't need to impress. Speaking of impressing, don't try, do. If you are telling a story and that happens to impress them than that's great! But don't go out of your way to try to make yourself look awesome because I'm sure you already are. Be yourself. But the most important thug now you can do is not try to make a million friends. Because personally I would rather have one AWESOME friend than a million ok friends. I hope this helped. :)
    reply 1 day