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Dear Dish-It: My Friend Is Acting Jealous

Dear Dish-It,

I’ve had a really good friend in my life for the past two years. I value and appreciate her so much. My mom even says she’s her third daughter. But ever since I started hanging out with a new girl in my class my old friend has been acting jealous. I tried talking to her about it, but she yelled at me and said she hates my new friend. I don’t think she has any right to tell me who to hang out with but I don’t want to lose her as a friend. How do I make this better?

HNH


Dear HNH,


Dealing with a jealous friend isn't easy. It can be downright frustrating. Find out how to make the best of the situation, be fair to yourself and your friend, and, if possible, preserve the friendship. It can be done!


If you’re sure the jealousy is coming from the fact that you’ve started to become close to another girl, try to be empathetic: Imagine you're your friend or how you'd feel in the same situation.


Try not to say or do things that will make your friend feel frustrated. This will only fan the flames of the jealousy.


It’s perfectly OK to show that you're happy about your new friendship and your life in general, but be sure to show interest and excitement about things going on in your friend's life, too.


Sometimes jealousy is mixed with a lot of anger. If your efforts to listen to your friend and encourage her aren't working, give her some time to cool off. She may need to work out their feelings alone or with someone who's not the object of her jealousy.


Recruit some extra support for yourself, too: Another friend or a relative may be able to help you sort out your feelings about being the object of your friend's jealousy. A lot of people feel bad about making someone else jealous, so be sure to remind yourself why you're a good person, too!


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.




More Dish-It Advice:

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  • I Cry Over Him
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    Do You Get Jealous?

    • Yeah! I get jealous all the time.
    • There's a bit of the green-eyed monster in me.
    • No, I'm usually pretty trusting of people's word.
    • I've never really had reason to be.

    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    drowning
    drowning posted in Friends:
    @country_girl19, I agree with Athena. She might not realize how she's making you feel and it's best to talk to her about it, if not it could get worse. If nothing changes after talking with her, then I think you should rethink things. @WatermelonCurlz, I don't really think you should hang around them that much. They don't listen to you or seem to really care about the fact that you've talked about getting different friends. I'm not saying to just cut them off all together, but I wouldn't stray from the idea of slowly distancing yourself.
    reply about 16 hours
    JazzyRox
    JazzyRox posted in Friends:
    "WatermelonCurlz" wrote:OMG! OK so, I have a group to 3 friends (not including me) and they love this video game that I'm not allowed to play. And they know that, so they talk about it purposely around me. Omg, ikr.When I ask to talk about something else the ignore me. So I say, I'm going to go find real friends, and they say, OK, like me care. And that's all they want to talk about, at recess, lunch, secretly in class, you name it thye do it. How do I get them to stop?   You should probably just stop talking to them and stuff. don't sit by them at lunch and don't hang out with them at recess. they sound like they are not good friends. if it gets worse, just tell your parents if they don't already know. idk how good i am at advise. hope this helped.  ~JazzyRox
    reply about 16 hours
    WatermelonCurlz
    OMG!OK so, I have a group to 3 friends (not including me) and they love this video game that I'm not allowed to play. And they know that, so they talk about it purposely around me. Omg, ikr.When I ask to talk about something else the ignore me. So I say, I'm going to go find real friends, and they say, OK, like me care. And that's all they want to talk about, at recess, lunch, secretly in class, you name it thye do it. How do I get them to stop?
    reply about 17 hours
    Abbergrl
    Well I strongly agree with you all. It's like, wow I never knew so many people had this problem!
    reply 2 days
    Abbergrl
    Abbergrl posted in Friends:
    A perfect friend is one who respects your feelings and doesn't make fun of them but helps you feel better, who can drive you only slightly insane, and who will try to save you from embarrassing situations by making you see the funny side. :) :D
    reply 2 days