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Dear Dish-It: My Friend Is Acting Jealous

Dear Dish-It,

I’ve had a really good friend in my life for the past two years. I value and appreciate her so much. My mom even says she’s her third daughter. But ever since I started hanging out with a new girl in my class my old friend has been acting jealous. I tried talking to her about it, but she yelled at me and said she hates my new friend. I don’t think she has any right to tell me who to hang out with but I don’t want to lose her as a friend. How do I make this better?

HNH


Dear HNH,


Dealing with a jealous friend isn't easy. It can be downright frustrating. Find out how to make the best of the situation, be fair to yourself and your friend, and, if possible, preserve the friendship. It can be done!


If you’re sure the jealousy is coming from the fact that you’ve started to become close to another girl, try to be empathetic: Imagine you're your friend or how you'd feel in the same situation.


Try not to say or do things that will make your friend feel frustrated. This will only fan the flames of the jealousy.


It’s perfectly OK to show that you're happy about your new friendship and your life in general, but be sure to show interest and excitement about things going on in your friend's life, too.


Sometimes jealousy is mixed with a lot of anger. If your efforts to listen to your friend and encourage her aren't working, give her some time to cool off. She may need to work out their feelings alone or with someone who's not the object of her jealousy.


Recruit some extra support for yourself, too: Another friend or a relative may be able to help you sort out your feelings about being the object of your friend's jealousy. A lot of people feel bad about making someone else jealous, so be sure to remind yourself why you're a good person, too!


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.




More Dish-It Advice:

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  • My BFF’s Ex Likes Me
  • I Cry Over Him
  • 10 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    donteatcarrots
    donteatcarrots posted in Style:
    lisp or not, i'm sure you're a nice person. i don't even know if you can get rid of this lisp- maybe practice speaking at home, try different movements with your lips or mouth, i don't know. don't let a lisp make you less confident, that doesn't change anything about you as a person. be yourself and be confident.
    reply about 14 hours
    Ezma
    Ezma posted in Style:
    Dear Dish it, Im already a grown teen but I don't think I am that easy to get along whem meeting new friends in school. And I think its because I lose my confidence cause I got some speech defect which called lisp. I often sometimes looks weird when theyre talking to me and It really affects me. What should I do? I have read and tried all the practice and therapy I read in the internet for a year but it doesnt make a change. I hope you help me
    reply about 21 hours
    inkdeath
    inkdeath posted in Family Issues:
    I always remind myself with this quote:This too, shall pass. 
    reply 1 day
    Cupcakesss123
    I think your parents dont want u to be crazy like your friends n your friends arent bad so i guess u should talk to your friends parents over phone or sum n let them meet your parents :D 
    reply 1 day
    donteatcarrots
    you really need to have a proper chat with your parents. you're doing really well in school, and seem to have a good set of friends, and tell them that you should be able to go out, i mean you've done nothing wrong and surely should be allowed a little freedom in return?
    reply 1 day