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Dear Dish-It: My Friend Is Acting Jealous

How To Deal With Jealousy

Dear Dish-It,

I’ve had a really good friend in my life for the past two years. I value and appreciate her so much. My mom even says she’s her third daughter. But ever since I started hanging out with a new girl in my class my old friend has been acting jealous. I tried talking to her about it, but she yelled at me and said she hates my new friend. I don’t think she has any right to tell me who to hang out with but I don’t want to lose her as a friend. How do I make this better?

HNH


Dear HNH,


Dealing with a jealous friend isn't easy. It can be downright frustrating. Find out how to make the best of the situation, be fair to yourself and your friend, and, if possible, preserve the friendship. It can be done!


If you’re sure the jealousy is coming from the fact that you’ve started to become close to another girl, try to be empathetic: Imagine you're your friend or how you'd feel in the same situation.


Try not to say or do things that will make your friend feel frustrated. This will only fan the flames of the jealousy.


It’s perfectly OK to show that you're happy about your new friendship and your life in general, but be sure to show interest and excitement about things going on in your friend's life, too.


Sometimes jealousy is mixed with a lot of anger. If your efforts to listen to your friend and encourage her aren't working, give her some time to cool off. She may need to work out their feelings alone or with someone who's not the object of her jealousy.


Recruit some extra support for yourself, too: Another friend or a relative may be able to help you sort out your feelings about being the object of your friend's jealousy. A lot of people feel bad about making someone else jealous, so be sure to remind yourself why you're a good person, too!


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.




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    Comments

    taytay35baby

    taytay35baby wrote:

    I had A Friend Tht Was Jealous Of Me Nd My Bf Nd She Started Acting Fake Nd Didnt Talk ...
    commented: Thu Oct 11, 2012

    R I S S A ;**♥
    @Nyaah Lmaoo I'm Finnaa Inbox Youu
    commented: Wed Oct 10, 2012

    Nyah Baby_2272186
    @Rissa @Jasmine Yall comments made my fvckinq night bro
    commented: Wed Oct 10, 2012

    there are 10 more comments

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    Sindy-poll

    Do You Get Jealous?

    • Yeah! I get jealous all the time.
    • There's a bit of the green-eyed monster in me.
    • No, I'm usually pretty trusting of people's word.
    • I've never really had reason to be.

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    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    jordand08
    jordand08 posted in Friends:
    "-Karpov-" wrote:I think jealousy would be if she were angry at you for being considered better than her. It sounds more like she's just disappointed, but it's impossible for you to know if you don't ask.  I agree here.
    reply about 11 hours
    -Karpov-
    -Karpov- posted in Friends:
    I think jealousy would be if she were angry at you for being considered better than her. It sounds more like she's just disappointed, but it's impossible for you to know if you don't ask. 
    reply about 11 hours
    B-who-u-r-and-SING
    My best friend and I were really close before and hung out all the time, we were both in musicals and both got smaller parts, and if one of us got a bigger part, it was her. Then she took voice lessons with an amazing voice teacher and got a little better, she took lessons for about two weeks and then I decided to take lessons too. After about three weeks people were saying that I was an amazing singer and all of the sudden my maybe-best-friend hardly talks to me. She always seems really sad. (Keep in mind that my friend can't sing well) I don't know if she is jealous or what, and please don't think that i'm conceited by thinking she might be jealous I am just wondering. Please help!
    reply about 11 hours
    kaykay2002
    "CocoC01" wrote: Sometimes things are n`t fair in life. Maybe you can try to find your cousin`s weakness or try your best to get along with her. After all, your cousin is still young. Grandparents tend to show more love to the younger ones because they are young and innocent.You`re 11 now, your grandmother might think that you`re more mature than your cousin: able to do whatever you want, able to make the right decision. Try to impress your grandmother with something that you`re good at ( I mean in the positive way) like joining debate/dancing/singing competitions--> try your best to achieve something and make them proud of you.   thanks but even when I was 5 6 and 7 she played favorites. I almost always get along with my cousin but sometimes I burst. my grandma always somehow finds out what I want and gives it my cousin and if my parents are around she treats us equally and that is another thing that makes me mad is she acts like the best grandma in front of my parents but the second they are gone she is a different person
    reply about 13 hours
    CocoC01
    CocoC01 posted in Family Issues:
    Sometimes things are n`t fair in life. Maybe you can try to find your cousin`s weakness or try your best to get along with her. After all, your cousin is still young. Grandparents tend to show more love to the younger ones because they are young and innocent.You`re 11 now, your grandmother might think that you`re more mature than your cousin: able to do whatever you want, able to make the right decision. Try to impress your grandmother with something that you`re good at ( I mean in the positive way) like joining debate/dancing/singing competitions--> try your best to achieve something and make them proud of you.
    reply about 14 hours

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