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Dear Dish-It: My Friend Is Acting Jealous

Dear Dish-It,

I’ve had a really good friend in my life for the past two years. I value and appreciate her so much. My mom even says she’s her third daughter. But ever since I started hanging out with a new girl in my class my old friend has been acting jealous. I tried talking to her about it, but she yelled at me and said she hates my new friend. I don’t think she has any right to tell me who to hang out with but I don’t want to lose her as a friend. How do I make this better?


Dear HNH,

Dealing with a jealous friend isn't easy. It can be downright frustrating. Find out how to make the best of the situation, be fair to yourself and your friend, and, if possible, preserve the friendship. It can be done!

If you’re sure the jealousy is coming from the fact that you’ve started to become close to another girl, try to be empathetic: Imagine you're your friend or how you'd feel in the same situation.

Try not to say or do things that will make your friend feel frustrated. This will only fan the flames of the jealousy.

It’s perfectly OK to show that you're happy about your new friendship and your life in general, but be sure to show interest and excitement about things going on in your friend's life, too.

Sometimes jealousy is mixed with a lot of anger. If your efforts to listen to your friend and encourage her aren't working, give her some time to cool off. She may need to work out their feelings alone or with someone who's not the object of her jealousy.

Recruit some extra support for yourself, too: Another friend or a relative may be able to help you sort out your feelings about being the object of your friend's jealousy. A lot of people feel bad about making someone else jealous, so be sure to remind yourself why you're a good person, too!

So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.

More Dish-It Advice:

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  • My BFF’s Ex Likes Me
  • I Cry Over Him

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    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    Dear Dish-it, i always wanted to be in a band but my parents are saying you should forget about that, you should get a real future. I have fought my case by they just get it.  Please help me Bye
    reply about 11 hours
    Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
    Maybe he likes you, as a friend or as more.
    reply 1 day
    Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
    Friends grow apart as we grow up and change at different rates. It's fine to stop being friends, but it doesn't have to be in a mean way. The best thing to do is talk to her (nicely). You don't have to tell her she's being childish or you feel as if you've matured more. That would be terrible. Talk about things you guys like to do in common or make plans to try new things together. Or don't mention it at all, but don't just begin ignoring her. Eventually the friendship will fade the less time you spend together. 
    reply 1 day
    Amalegend20 posted in Friends:
    You should be nice to her. If you have to break the news gently don't make her feel bad just talk to her about and see what she says  
    reply 1 day
    hugebear posted in Friends:
    My bff and I were best friends but weve grown apart im getting older and she still wants to do kid stuff I have new friends now I feel like im being mean to her but like doesn't she get the memo I feel both guilty and mad:} Gosh.... put the shoe on  the other foot and see how would you feel if your bff done this on you. You has been bffs for the long time [Im guessing] and your maturing faster than her.  I agrees you are being mean to her if you doesnt discuss how your feeling with her and ignoring / avoiding her or whatever your doing.    She has been the good friend to you and she deserves to understand if you is growing up faster than her.  I really feels sad for how she could be feeling right now. She didnt do anything wrong.  You changed. Not her. Please be nice to your friend/ex friend and let her down gently [if you really has to] ^^ Me opinion  
    reply 2 days

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