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Dear Dish-It: My BFF Is Gay

Dear Dish-It,

My BFF told me she wanted to get together with another girl. I thought she was joking, so I said, “I’m into guys, so...” And she answered, “Well, I’m not.” She asked me if that was a problem. I lied and said no. The truth is, I don't really have a problem with it except I'm a girl and it’s a little awkward. Also, my dad is very Christian and I’m scared if I tell him my BFF is gay he won’t let me hang out with her anymore. What should I do?

true2myself


Dear true2myself,


I hope you don’t really have a problem with your BFF liking girls or, perhaps, being gay. The fact that you are a girl shouldn’t matter (it certainly doesn’t mean that she is crushing on you – most likely, she still considers you just a friend and always will). Neither should it matter what your parents’ beliefs are. You are your own person and you need to decide what is right and wrong on your own. The only thing that matters in this situation is that you continue to be a good, caring and understanding friend, and that you continue to support your BFF in anything she chooses to feel or do (as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else, that is), just as she would support you. As for your father, well, I don’t really understand why your friend’s sexuality is something you would need to discuss with him. If he asks about it, you may have to tell him the truth, but if he doesn’t ask, it doesn’t seem like it’s any of his business. The only person who should reveal information about her sexuality to anyone else is your BFF. It’s simply not your place to tell other people on her behalf, without her permission. I hope that helps.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.


More Dish-It Advice:

  • Are My Friends Gay?
  • My Boyfriend Is Gay
  • Do I Tell My Parents I’m Gay?
  • More Great Advice from Dish-It!
  • 127 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    drowning
    drowning posted in Friends:
    @country_girl19, I agree with Athena. She might not realize how she's making you feel and it's best to talk to her about it, if not it could get worse. If nothing changes after talking with her, then I think you should rethink things. @WatermelonCurlz, I don't really think you should hang around them that much. They don't listen to you or seem to really care about the fact that you've talked about getting different friends. I'm not saying to just cut them off all together, but I wouldn't stray from the idea of slowly distancing yourself.
    reply about 4 hours
    JazzyRox
    JazzyRox posted in Friends:
    "WatermelonCurlz" wrote:OMG! OK so, I have a group to 3 friends (not including me) and they love this video game that I'm not allowed to play. And they know that, so they talk about it purposely around me. Omg, ikr.When I ask to talk about something else the ignore me. So I say, I'm going to go find real friends, and they say, OK, like me care. And that's all they want to talk about, at recess, lunch, secretly in class, you name it thye do it. How do I get them to stop?   You should probably just stop talking to them and stuff. don't sit by them at lunch and don't hang out with them at recess. they sound like they are not good friends. if it gets worse, just tell your parents if they don't already know. idk how good i am at advise. hope this helped.  ~JazzyRox
    reply about 4 hours
    WatermelonCurlz
    OMG!OK so, I have a group to 3 friends (not including me) and they love this video game that I'm not allowed to play. And they know that, so they talk about it purposely around me. Omg, ikr.When I ask to talk about something else the ignore me. So I say, I'm going to go find real friends, and they say, OK, like me care. And that's all they want to talk about, at recess, lunch, secretly in class, you name it thye do it. How do I get them to stop?
    reply about 5 hours
    Abbergrl
    Well I strongly agree with you all. It's like, wow I never knew so many people had this problem!
    reply 1 day
    Abbergrl
    Abbergrl posted in Friends:
    A perfect friend is one who respects your feelings and doesn't make fun of them but helps you feel better, who can drive you only slightly insane, and who will try to save you from embarrassing situations by making you see the funny side. :) :D
    reply 1 day