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Dear Dish-It: My BFF Is Gay

Dear Dish-It,

My BFF told me she wanted to get together with another girl. I thought she was joking, so I said, “I’m into guys, so...” And she answered, “Well, I’m not.” She asked me if that was a problem. I lied and said no. The truth is, I don't really have a problem with it except I'm a girl and it’s a little awkward. Also, my dad is very Christian and I’m scared if I tell him my BFF is gay he won’t let me hang out with her anymore. What should I do?

true2myself


Dear true2myself,


I hope you don’t really have a problem with your BFF liking girls or, perhaps, being gay. The fact that you are a girl shouldn’t matter (it certainly doesn’t mean that she is crushing on you – most likely, she still considers you just a friend and always will). Neither should it matter what your parents’ beliefs are. You are your own person and you need to decide what is right and wrong on your own. The only thing that matters in this situation is that you continue to be a good, caring and understanding friend, and that you continue to support your BFF in anything she chooses to feel or do (as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else, that is), just as she would support you. As for your father, well, I don’t really understand why your friend’s sexuality is something you would need to discuss with him. If he asks about it, you may have to tell him the truth, but if he doesn’t ask, it doesn’t seem like it’s any of his business. The only person who should reveal information about her sexuality to anyone else is your BFF. It’s simply not your place to tell other people on her behalf, without her permission. I hope that helps.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.


More Dish-It Advice:

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  • Do I Tell My Parents I’m Gay?
  • More Great Advice from Dish-It!
  • 127 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    esthery27
    esthery27 posted in Friends:
    Well..i say i won't put all my trust in one person, 'cause even though there are no problems right now doesn't mean that there will be no problems as well in the future. After all, people change, no matter if they were our best buddies/bffs once. (But that doesn't mean that we shouldn't have friends or stuff like that, they can be fun/comforting/important sometimes !!)
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    bnz05
    bnz05 posted in Friends:
    Hii, i want to give advice to all of you about this subject. first of all, always trust your BFF. why?, it's because she/he is the one who makes you feel like a family and always be there with you. Second, always remember your BFF where ever you are. i got this idea from my bff whose not n the same school with me. 8 February was her birthday while i said happy birthday to her 2 day later (i know i'm the worst). i literally panicked and said sorry to her like a thousand times. while she said "it's okay, i'm glad someone in your school (because some of us transfers here at my new school too) remembers my birthday, maybe all of them already forget me" she answered (which i'm touched). and the last, never ever betray your BFF. like i said at the start, they are like your family and will do anything for you to be happy. so keep their trust too. and that's all from me, hope it's helpful. love ya [s:sm3/1jw1]
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    esthery27
    esthery27 posted in Friends:
    I think you should just be yourself and be patient. You will find some eventually
    reply 1 day