Kw-logo-smaller

Dear Dish-It, Do I Tell My Parents I'm Gay?

Advice for teens who need help talking to their families, friends and loved-ones about their sexual orientation.
Advice on Family Problems

Dear Dish-It,

I'm having a problem with my parents. I'm starting to get older and soon I have to tell them that I'm gay. But it's been so long that I don't even feel like telling them. I feel like, if they don't know by now, they don't deserve to know at all. What do I do?
MusiqLuv


Dear MusiqLuv,

I think you're just saying "they don't deserve to know" cuz it's an easy way to not deal with telling them. Don't blame your 'rents just cuz they don't realize you are gay. Maybe they do know and they just haven't let on. Or maybe they are completely in the dark. Either way, you still need to tell 'em - straight-up - whenever you're ready. Are you ready? Think about it. It might not be the most smooth conversation you ever have with the 'rents (there's a chance it might be the most horrible,) but they deserve to know and they deserve to hear it from you. There's nothing wrong with being gay and there's nothing wrong with telling people either. Unfortunately, some people don't understand it and may not react well. Here are some Web sites that may be able to give you some advice on telling your 'rents:


  • Advice for Gay Teens
  • Gay and Lesbian National Hotline
  • Oasis Magazine

  • And here are some Web sites that may help your parents deal with the news:

  • PFLAG
  • The APA Answers Questions on Homosexualilty and Sexual Orientation
  • Remember, it's your sexual orientation and it's up to you to "come out" whenever the time feels right. Judging by your email, that time is here - or fast approaching. When you do share the news, remember to present it rationally and calmly. Stay calm and relaxed no matter what - their first reaction may be harsh, but give them time to digest it. They may come around. Most parents get upset because they realize that, because of the homophobia in our world, being gay is not an easy lifestyle to live. No one wants their kid to have a hard life. Also, some parents who think that having a gay child means that they won't have grandchildren to carry on their name, etc. (Given time, they'll come to realize that gay people can be 'rents too.) Then again, they may be okay with it from the start. You might know how they're gonna react already, since they are your parents.


    Good luck!


    Dear MusiqLuv,

    Well, I think you should let your parents know. Just because they don't know doesn't mean they can't or don't want to. Your 'rents may take it bad but they'll understand. Just talk to them. It'll make it a lot easier! Good Luck!!!

    Kidz Submit By:

    Nickname:LIL J-WEEZY
    Age:13

    Dear MusiqLuv,

    I think you've got guts for even thinkin' 'bout telling your 'rents. A lot of people live in fear of telling their parents tough stuff so you should get a hi-five for wanting to be honest. Don't get scared - just tell 'em. You'll feel better about it in the end. I'll be thinkin 'bout ya. Good Luck.

    Kidz Submit By:

    Nickname: Stars4eva
    Age: 15

    So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


    Related Stories:

  • Dear Dish-It: Dating - I Like Two Guys
  • Dear Dish-It: Dating - I'm Single and I Like It
  • Dear Dish-It: Dating - Don't Tell Us to Break-Up
  • More Great Advice from Dish-It!
  • >
    >

    readers voted!

    Comments

    QueenOfScare

    QueenOfScare wrote:

    cuz im bi. and they dont know yet.
    commented: Tue Jan 21, 2014

    QueenOfScare

    QueenOfScare wrote:

    i would say when your an adult, 18, you can tell them. that's what im going to do, cuz ...
    commented: Tue Jan 21, 2014

    canyoudig64

    canyoudig64 wrote:

    I think you should hold off for awhile.,if they ask you tell them
    commented: Tue Aug 13, 2013

    there are 590 more comments

    Please login or register to add comments


    like this article?
    Sign up now to get more just like!

    latest videos

    F1023497131828

    How Much Do U Tell the 'Rents?

    • My parents know everything about my life.
    • I tell my mom a lot of things, but not my dad.
    • I share a lot with my dad, but not my mom.
    • I don't tell my parents anything. They wouldn't understand.

    related stories

    I went to a sleepover party at my friend's house and he invited 1 more guy. They decide to play s...

    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    BookwormKat
    My 2 older brothers & I live with my Mom, Step-Dad, & "their kids". They get out of doing chores, coming home at curfew, and can all but do anything & get away with all of it!!!!!! :e My Mom doesn't like it much but won't do anything about it. HELP!!!!!!!  :bigfrown
    reply about 2 hours
    daredog
    daredog posted in Family Issues:
    Thanks for the support!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
    reply about 4 hours
    daredog
    daredog posted in Family Issues:
    Thanks! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D it's good to know you don't mind! I think I might have lost a friend though... I asked Peter444 and he said he doesn't support gays... I hope he knew what I meant..... :) anyway thanks for the support! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
    reply about 5 hours
    Boysrock50
    It's not wrong, it's not right, it's up to an individual tbh. If you're gay, and others have a problem, then it's them that need to change, not you. Don't give in to peer pressure, do what feels right for you
    reply about 5 hours
    GlimmeringSky16
    No way! It's definitely NOT wrong. It's your preference! If you're happier with a certain gender, go for it. If your friends can't accept it then maybe they're not the best friends you have. After all, you don't live twice now do ya. :D
    reply about 5 hours

    play online games

    Candy-100

    A great online version of the famous Candy Crush. This is the best game launched...

    Big_icon_(7)

    Have you ever fancied being a ranger like those fantasy characters you love so m...

    Big_icon_(4)

    You run across the city in a car chase with the police officers.

    Big_icon_(6)

    The evil master kidnapped all of your friends!

    Ow_fright_ad_100x100

    Explore the world or hang out with friends in your own condo. Get a unique look,...