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Dear Dish-It, Do I Tell My Parents I'm Gay?

Dear Dish-It,

I'm having a problem with my parents. I'm starting to get older and soon I have to tell them that I'm gay. But it's been so long that I don't even feel like telling them. I feel like, if they don't know by now, they don't deserve to know at all. What do I do?
MusiqLuv


Dear MusiqLuv,

I think you're just saying "they don't deserve to know" cuz it's an easy way to not deal with telling them. Don't blame your 'rents just cuz they don't realize you are gay. Maybe they do know and they just haven't let on. Or maybe they are completely in the dark. Either way, you still need to tell 'em - straight-up - whenever you're ready. Are you ready? Think about it. It might not be the most smooth conversation you ever have with the 'rents (there's a chance it might be the most horrible,) but they deserve to know and they deserve to hear it from you. There's nothing wrong with being gay and there's nothing wrong with telling people either. Unfortunately, some people don't understand it and may not react well. Here are some Web sites that may be able to give you some advice on telling your 'rents:


  • Advice for Gay Teens
  • Gay and Lesbian National Hotline
  • Oasis Magazine

  • And here are some Web sites that may help your parents deal with the news:

  • PFLAG
  • The APA Answers Questions on Homosexualilty and Sexual Orientation
  • Remember, it's your sexual orientation and it's up to you to "come out" whenever the time feels right. Judging by your email, that time is here - or fast approaching. When you do share the news, remember to present it rationally and calmly. Stay calm and relaxed no matter what - their first reaction may be harsh, but give them time to digest it. They may come around. Most parents get upset because they realize that, because of the homophobia in our world, being gay is not an easy lifestyle to live. No one wants their kid to have a hard life. Also, some parents who think that having a gay child means that they won't have grandchildren to carry on their name, etc. (Given time, they'll come to realize that gay people can be 'rents too.) Then again, they may be okay with it from the start. You might know how they're gonna react already, since they are your parents.


    Good luck!


    Dear MusiqLuv,

    Well, I think you should let your parents know. Just because they don't know doesn't mean they can't or don't want to. Your 'rents may take it bad but they'll understand. Just talk to them. It'll make it a lot easier! Good Luck!!!

    Kidz Submit By:

    Nickname:LIL J-WEEZY
    Age:13

    Dear MusiqLuv,

    I think you've got guts for even thinkin' 'bout telling your 'rents. A lot of people live in fear of telling their parents tough stuff so you should get a hi-five for wanting to be honest. Don't get scared - just tell 'em. You'll feel better about it in the end. I'll be thinkin 'bout ya. Good Luck.

    Kidz Submit By:

    Nickname: Stars4eva
    Age: 15

    So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    Alex227
    Alex227 posted in Friends:
    You should if you really want to, but I don't think it should matter the amount of knowledge you and your friends have, because friendship is merely friendship! :) Plus, when you tell them, it may come across as bragging and they would perceive you as a show-off. Hope this helps!
    reply about 3 hours
    hugebear
    hugebear posted in Friends:
    Congratulations on being gifted and getting all the opportunties what your getting :) You knows your friends better than any of us and how does you think they will react if you tell them?  Thinks about if one of your friends told you and how you would feel.  Be proud and enjoy your learning and you will meet other gifted people too in your classes and ask them their experiences too of how/if they told friends. If it was me then I probably wouldnt but thats just me personality. I wouldnt ever get in the gifted group anyway so I doesnt really have to think about this :)
    reply about 9 hours
    __dischic3__
    __dischic3__ posted in Style:
    today I got my hair down...chillin'
    reply about 17 hours
    Teh_Skittlez
    Teh_Skittlez posted in Friends:
    Don't go out of your way to talk about it. A lot of people are off put by people who talk about their intelligence a lot. If it comes up in a conversation, you can talk about it, but you probably won't need to tell them. Usually with people who are genuinely intelligent, they don't need to talk about their intelligence, it's obvious to everyone around you, and therefore people who are not as intelligent might feel like you're rubbing it in. 
    reply 1 day
    jordand08
    jordand08 posted in Friends:
    Maybe you should wait until you feel a little bit more comfy talking to them, and then tell them!  :D
    reply 1 day

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