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Dear Dish-It, Do I Tell My Parents I'm Gay?

Advice for teens who need help talking to their families, friends and loved-ones about their sexual orientation.
Advice on Family Problems

Dear Dish-It,

I'm having a problem with my parents. I'm starting to get older and soon I have to tell them that I'm gay. But it's been so long that I don't even feel like telling them. I feel like, if they don't know by now, they don't deserve to know at all. What do I do?
MusiqLuv


Dear MusiqLuv,

I think you're just saying "they don't deserve to know" cuz it's an easy way to not deal with telling them. Don't blame your 'rents just cuz they don't realize you are gay. Maybe they do know and they just haven't let on. Or maybe they are completely in the dark. Either way, you still need to tell 'em - straight-up - whenever you're ready. Are you ready? Think about it. It might not be the most smooth conversation you ever have with the 'rents (there's a chance it might be the most horrible,) but they deserve to know and they deserve to hear it from you. There's nothing wrong with being gay and there's nothing wrong with telling people either. Unfortunately, some people don't understand it and may not react well. Here are some Web sites that may be able to give you some advice on telling your 'rents:


  • Advice for Gay Teens
  • Gay and Lesbian National Hotline
  • Oasis Magazine

  • And here are some Web sites that may help your parents deal with the news:

  • PFLAG
  • The APA Answers Questions on Homosexualilty and Sexual Orientation
  • Remember, it's your sexual orientation and it's up to you to "come out" whenever the time feels right. Judging by your email, that time is here - or fast approaching. When you do share the news, remember to present it rationally and calmly. Stay calm and relaxed no matter what - their first reaction may be harsh, but give them time to digest it. They may come around. Most parents get upset because they realize that, because of the homophobia in our world, being gay is not an easy lifestyle to live. No one wants their kid to have a hard life. Also, some parents who think that having a gay child means that they won't have grandchildren to carry on their name, etc. (Given time, they'll come to realize that gay people can be 'rents too.) Then again, they may be okay with it from the start. You might know how they're gonna react already, since they are your parents.


    Good luck!


    Dear MusiqLuv,

    Well, I think you should let your parents know. Just because they don't know doesn't mean they can't or don't want to. Your 'rents may take it bad but they'll understand. Just talk to them. It'll make it a lot easier! Good Luck!!!

    Kidz Submit By:

    Nickname:LIL J-WEEZY
    Age:13

    Dear MusiqLuv,

    I think you've got guts for even thinkin' 'bout telling your 'rents. A lot of people live in fear of telling their parents tough stuff so you should get a hi-five for wanting to be honest. Don't get scared - just tell 'em. You'll feel better about it in the end. I'll be thinkin 'bout ya. Good Luck.

    Kidz Submit By:

    Nickname: Stars4eva
    Age: 15

    So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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    Comments

    QueenOfScare

    QueenOfScare wrote:

    cuz im bi. and they dont know yet.
    commented: Tue Jan 21, 2014

    QueenOfScare

    QueenOfScare wrote:

    i would say when your an adult, 18, you can tell them. that's what im going to do, cuz ...
    commented: Tue Jan 21, 2014

    canyoudig64

    canyoudig64 wrote:

    I think you should hold off for awhile.,if they ask you tell them
    commented: Tue Aug 13, 2013

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