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Dear Dish-It, Do I Tell My Parents I'm Gay?

Dear Dish-It,

I'm having a problem with my parents. I'm starting to get older and soon I have to tell them that I'm gay. But it's been so long that I don't even feel like telling them. I feel like, if they don't know by now, they don't deserve to know at all. What do I do?
MusiqLuv


Dear MusiqLuv,

I think you're just saying "they don't deserve to know" cuz it's an easy way to not deal with telling them. Don't blame your 'rents just cuz they don't realize you are gay. Maybe they do know and they just haven't let on. Or maybe they are completely in the dark. Either way, you still need to tell 'em - straight-up - whenever you're ready. Are you ready? Think about it. It might not be the most smooth conversation you ever have with the 'rents (there's a chance it might be the most horrible,) but they deserve to know and they deserve to hear it from you. There's nothing wrong with being gay and there's nothing wrong with telling people either. Unfortunately, some people don't understand it and may not react well. Here are some Web sites that may be able to give you some advice on telling your 'rents:


  • Advice for Gay Teens
  • Gay and Lesbian National Hotline
  • Oasis Magazine

  • And here are some Web sites that may help your parents deal with the news:

  • PFLAG
  • The APA Answers Questions on Homosexualilty and Sexual Orientation
  • Remember, it's your sexual orientation and it's up to you to "come out" whenever the time feels right. Judging by your email, that time is here - or fast approaching. When you do share the news, remember to present it rationally and calmly. Stay calm and relaxed no matter what - their first reaction may be harsh, but give them time to digest it. They may come around. Most parents get upset because they realize that, because of the homophobia in our world, being gay is not an easy lifestyle to live. No one wants their kid to have a hard life. Also, some parents who think that having a gay child means that they won't have grandchildren to carry on their name, etc. (Given time, they'll come to realize that gay people can be 'rents too.) Then again, they may be okay with it from the start. You might know how they're gonna react already, since they are your parents.


    Good luck!


    Dear MusiqLuv,

    Well, I think you should let your parents know. Just because they don't know doesn't mean they can't or don't want to. Your 'rents may take it bad but they'll understand. Just talk to them. It'll make it a lot easier! Good Luck!!!

    Kidz Submit By:

    Nickname:LIL J-WEEZY
    Age:13

    Dear MusiqLuv,

    I think you've got guts for even thinkin' 'bout telling your 'rents. A lot of people live in fear of telling their parents tough stuff so you should get a hi-five for wanting to be honest. Don't get scared - just tell 'em. You'll feel better about it in the end. I'll be thinkin 'bout ya. Good Luck.

    Kidz Submit By:

    Nickname: Stars4eva
    Age: 15

    So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    drowning
    drowning posted in Friends:
    @country_girl19, I agree with Athena. She might not realize how she's making you feel and it's best to talk to her about it, if not it could get worse. If nothing changes after talking with her, then I think you should rethink things. @WatermelonCurlz, I don't really think you should hang around them that much. They don't listen to you or seem to really care about the fact that you've talked about getting different friends. I'm not saying to just cut them off all together, but I wouldn't stray from the idea of slowly distancing yourself.
    reply about 20 hours
    JazzyRox
    JazzyRox posted in Friends:
    "WatermelonCurlz" wrote:OMG! OK so, I have a group to 3 friends (not including me) and they love this video game that I'm not allowed to play. And they know that, so they talk about it purposely around me. Omg, ikr.When I ask to talk about something else the ignore me. So I say, I'm going to go find real friends, and they say, OK, like me care. And that's all they want to talk about, at recess, lunch, secretly in class, you name it thye do it. How do I get them to stop?   You should probably just stop talking to them and stuff. don't sit by them at lunch and don't hang out with them at recess. they sound like they are not good friends. if it gets worse, just tell your parents if they don't already know. idk how good i am at advise. hope this helped.  ~JazzyRox
    reply about 20 hours
    WatermelonCurlz
    OMG!OK so, I have a group to 3 friends (not including me) and they love this video game that I'm not allowed to play. And they know that, so they talk about it purposely around me. Omg, ikr.When I ask to talk about something else the ignore me. So I say, I'm going to go find real friends, and they say, OK, like me care. And that's all they want to talk about, at recess, lunch, secretly in class, you name it thye do it. How do I get them to stop?
    reply about 21 hours
    Abbergrl
    Well I strongly agree with you all. It's like, wow I never knew so many people had this problem!
    reply 2 days
    Abbergrl
    Abbergrl posted in Friends:
    A perfect friend is one who respects your feelings and doesn't make fun of them but helps you feel better, who can drive you only slightly insane, and who will try to save you from embarrassing situations by making you see the funny side. :) :D
    reply 2 days