Kw-logo-smaller

Dear Dish-It, Do I Tell My Parents I'm Gay?

Advice for teens who need help talking to their families, friends and loved-ones about their sexual orientation.
Advice on Family Problems

Dear Dish-It,

I'm having a problem with my parents. I'm starting to get older and soon I have to tell them that I'm gay. But it's been so long that I don't even feel like telling them. I feel like, if they don't know by now, they don't deserve to know at all. What do I do?
MusiqLuv


Dear MusiqLuv,

I think you're just saying "they don't deserve to know" cuz it's an easy way to not deal with telling them. Don't blame your 'rents just cuz they don't realize you are gay. Maybe they do know and they just haven't let on. Or maybe they are completely in the dark. Either way, you still need to tell 'em - straight-up - whenever you're ready. Are you ready? Think about it. It might not be the most smooth conversation you ever have with the 'rents (there's a chance it might be the most horrible,) but they deserve to know and they deserve to hear it from you. There's nothing wrong with being gay and there's nothing wrong with telling people either. Unfortunately, some people don't understand it and may not react well. Here are some Web sites that may be able to give you some advice on telling your 'rents:


  • Advice for Gay Teens
  • Gay and Lesbian National Hotline
  • Oasis Magazine

  • And here are some Web sites that may help your parents deal with the news:

  • PFLAG
  • The APA Answers Questions on Homosexualilty and Sexual Orientation
  • Remember, it's your sexual orientation and it's up to you to "come out" whenever the time feels right. Judging by your email, that time is here - or fast approaching. When you do share the news, remember to present it rationally and calmly. Stay calm and relaxed no matter what - their first reaction may be harsh, but give them time to digest it. They may come around. Most parents get upset because they realize that, because of the homophobia in our world, being gay is not an easy lifestyle to live. No one wants their kid to have a hard life. Also, some parents who think that having a gay child means that they won't have grandchildren to carry on their name, etc. (Given time, they'll come to realize that gay people can be 'rents too.) Then again, they may be okay with it from the start. You might know how they're gonna react already, since they are your parents.


    Good luck!


    Dear MusiqLuv,

    Well, I think you should let your parents know. Just because they don't know doesn't mean they can't or don't want to. Your 'rents may take it bad but they'll understand. Just talk to them. It'll make it a lot easier! Good Luck!!!

    Kidz Submit By:

    Nickname:LIL J-WEEZY
    Age:13

    Dear MusiqLuv,

    I think you've got guts for even thinkin' 'bout telling your 'rents. A lot of people live in fear of telling their parents tough stuff so you should get a hi-five for wanting to be honest. Don't get scared - just tell 'em. You'll feel better about it in the end. I'll be thinkin 'bout ya. Good Luck.

    Kidz Submit By:

    Nickname: Stars4eva
    Age: 15

    So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


    Related Stories:

  • Dear Dish-It: Dating - I Like Two Guys
  • Dear Dish-It: Dating - I'm Single and I Like It
  • Dear Dish-It: Dating - Don't Tell Us to Break-Up
  • More Great Advice from Dish-It!
  • >
    >

    readers voted!

    Comments

    QueenOfScare

    QueenOfScare wrote:

    cuz im bi. and they dont know yet.
    commented: Tue Jan 21, 2014

    QueenOfScare

    QueenOfScare wrote:

    i would say when your an adult, 18, you can tell them. that's what im going to do, cuz ...
    commented: Tue Jan 21, 2014

    canyoudig64

    canyoudig64 wrote:

    I think you should hold off for awhile.,if they ask you tell them
    commented: Tue Aug 13, 2013

    there are 590 more comments

    Please login or register to add comments

    share with your friends


    Twitter Facebook Myspace Digg


    like this article?
    Sign up now to get more just like!

    latest videos

    F1023497131828

    How Much Do U Tell the 'Rents?

    • My parents know everything about my life.
    • I tell my mom a lot of things, but not my dad.
    • I share a lot with my dad, but not my mom.
    • I don't tell my parents anything. They wouldn't understand.

    related stories

    I went to a sleepover party at my friend's house and he invited 1 more guy. They decide to play s...

    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    samkitty214
    samkitty214 posted in Style:
    Well, if you get compliments on your hair but deep down inside YOU don't like it. Just know wether people like your hair or not the only decision the counts is YOURS! i dont vote for the punk style but if you wanna dye it, dye it!  but just think about the future would you want it green and blue or a simple black. (if u go with black YOU will still feel good about yourself and get compliments). you could cut, you know, change it up a bit. HAVE FUN and GOOD LUCK best wishes-
    reply about 2 hours
    samkitty214
    first you should talk to him about it, confront him. then tell your mom and practically beg for her to have mercy. then explain to ur littler siblings. and GOOD LUCK
    reply about 2 hours
    EnergeticHummingbird
    It happened a few days ago, and my dad was cheating on my mom with a bunch of women online....  I haven't stopped crying since then and I dont even know what I am supposed to do!!!! This isn't the first time he has cheated on my mom, but she said that this was his final chance, and that he either has to commit to his family, or not be part of it for the rest of his life..... I need serious help because I know more about the whole situation than my little brother and sister do..... I don't want them to get hurt....... So anything would help......
    reply about 2 hours
    Wooper1255
    Wooper1255 posted in Style:
    Hmm... like all the comments above, I suggest you do whatever you wish with your hair. This is life. Live it up. Also, if you REEAALLYY want to dye your hair, here are some tips/suggestions: ♪ Okay, okay, who the MARSHMELLOW cares what your hair looks like? People are always going for the looks these days. :e ♪ Try highlighting a few strands of your hair. ;D If you're satisfied, do a couple of more strands! ♪ Like everyone else, use hair chalk. It's the safest and I've learned that if you dye your hair, it's going to make a major mess and it will be a MAAAAJOR pain. Hair Chalk for da best! ♪ Still feeling unconfident? Highlight your hair whatever color you want by highlighting a few strands like I typed before. Then, go to people and ask them if they like your new highlights. ♪ Maybe you should ask people if you'd look good with your hair whatever color you wanted. Anyhow, I might add more suggestions if I can think of any. Anyways, hope I helped! ^^
    reply about 3 hours
    AlphaT
    AlphaT posted in Style:
    Except schools, places of work, and everyone in the United States of America who has the freedom of speech.
    reply about 4 hours

    play online games

    Candy-100

    A great online version of the famous Candy Crush. This is the best game launched...

    1515_gl_kidzworld_100x100_jpg_fz

    Intriguing planets, weird and wonderful characters; challenge friends and find a...

    157262_(2)

    When you go back to Candyland, you’ll wonder why you ever left in the first plac...

    100x100_ra_logo_girl

    Uncle George has left you his farm, but unfortunately it’s in pretty bad shape. ...

    _thumb_100x100

    Shoot blobs with different properies to merge yellow blobs. Your blobs can be re...