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Dear Dish-It: I'm A Loner

Dear Dish-It,

For most of my school life, I have been a loner. In Grade 3 I became friends with someone just so I wouldn't be lonely. But she wasn’t as loyal to me as a true friend should be, leaving me alone at recess almost all the time and then asking if she could come over to my house after school. Now that I’m in Grade 7, I have actually started hanging out with the other girls in my class. They’re really nice to me but I'm starting to wonder if they just feel sorry for me? I’ll never know for sure unless I ask them about it, but if I do, they may be offended. Can you please help?


Dear PartyGirl847,

In my opinion, the friends you have made in Grade 7 are really your friends. They don’t pity you or feel sorry for you. They actually, genuinely and sincerely like you and want to hang out with you.

The problem here isn’t anyone else – it’s you. Not that you’re a bad person or anything – you’re not. But I think you have a low opinion of yourself – something called low self-esteem.

I think the best thing to do in this situation is to believe in yourself more. Think about all the good things there are about you – including the fact that you can be and are a great, true, loyal friend. Why would anyone not want to hang out with you and spend time with you? You’re a great person!

The more you believe this and other good things about yourself, the closer you’ll become with your new friends and the more good people and friends you will attract into your life. Start liking yourself more, and I guarantee other people will like you more and more, too.

So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.

More Dish-It Advice:

  • I’m A Loner
  • I’m A Loser
  • My Friends Are Mean
  • I Wish I Wasn’t Mean
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    Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
    Maybe he likes you, as a friend or as more.
    reply about 17 hours
    Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
    Friends grow apart as we grow up and change at different rates. It's fine to stop being friends, but it doesn't have to be in a mean way. The best thing to do is talk to her (nicely). You don't have to tell her she's being childish or you feel as if you've matured more. That would be terrible. Talk about things you guys like to do in common or make plans to try new things together. Or don't mention it at all, but don't just begin ignoring her. Eventually the friendship will fade the less time you spend together. 
    reply about 19 hours
    Amalegend20 posted in Friends:
    You should be nice to her. If you have to break the news gently don't make her feel bad just talk to her about and see what she says  
    reply 1 day
    hugebear posted in Friends:
    My bff and I were best friends but weve grown apart im getting older and she still wants to do kid stuff I have new friends now I feel like im being mean to her but like doesn't she get the memo I feel both guilty and mad:} Gosh.... put the shoe on  the other foot and see how would you feel if your bff done this on you. You has been bffs for the long time [Im guessing] and your maturing faster than her.  I agrees you are being mean to her if you doesnt discuss how your feeling with her and ignoring / avoiding her or whatever your doing.    She has been the good friend to you and she deserves to understand if you is growing up faster than her.  I really feels sad for how she could be feeling right now. She didnt do anything wrong.  You changed. Not her. Please be nice to your friend/ex friend and let her down gently [if you really has to] ^^ Me opinion  
    reply 1 day

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