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Dear Dish-It: Another Dancer Is Jealous Of Me

Dear Dish-It,

I’m a dancer, and everyone in my level thinks I’m the best. I’m starting to take one of my classes at a higher level with two of my friends. This girl in my old level has started being really mean to us. I don’t know if I should be rude back or not. What should I do?


Confused Dancer


Dear CD,


You’re very lucky that you are such a talented and accomplished dancer! It sounds like dancing is something you truly love, and you pour a lot of hard work into it. And, congratulations on being accepted into a higher-level dance class. That’s great news, and I hope you continue working on your talent and growing as a dancer.


As for the girl you say is being mean to you . . . it seems pretty obvious that she is just jealous of you and your abilities in dancing. After all, you were accepted into a higher level, and she was left behind at the lower level. It’s a pretty common scenario – but, I know, an unpleasant situation to have to deal with.


Being rude back to this girl isn’t going to help. It’s going to make her angrier and she’s just going to resent you more and more – which likely means she’ll become meaner and meaner. Rather, you need to do something that a lot of people find really hard to do – you need to put yourself in her shoes.


Try it. If you were this girl, how would you feel seeing three of your friends advance to a higher level while you are left behind? How would you feel if the teacher was constantly congratulating other dancers in the class and only correcting you? How would you feel if you felt like other people were better than you?


If you can truly put yourself in her shoes and feel some of the things she might be feeling, you’ll be better able to understand why she’s being mean to you and how you can make the situation better. By understanding some of the bad things she feels, you may come up with some solutions to the problem.


While it’s obviously impossible for you to get her into the higher class (I’m guessing that’s up to the dance teacher to decide), maybe you and your other friends from dance can include her in some other activities you do. Maybe the four of you can go to the mall or have a sleepover or see a movie together – make her feel like she’s accepted among you, since she probably feels left out at dance. But whatever you do, don’t talk about things she’s not a part of when you’re all together. Leave the dance talk to another time.


If she’s open to it, you may want to offer her some help to improve her own dancing skills, so maybe she can advance to a higher level, too. She may not feel comfortable accepting help from anyone, though, so use your good judgment with this one.


The final suggestion I have for you is to simply be her friend. Don’t retaliate or be mean or rude back to her – even if she continues to do it to you. If she sees that you mean no harm and you like her and accept her and still want to be her friend, she may come around and stop acting the way she is toward you. There’s an old saying – “kill them with kindness" – that applies to this situation really well. The best thing you can do to someone who is being really mean to you is to be really nice to them – maybe, hopefully, eventually, it will rub off.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.


More Dish-It Advice:

  • I Have A Jealous Friend
  • I Get Jealous When She’s With Other Guys
  • He Won’t Stop Calling Me
  • How Do I Win Her Back?
  • More Great Advice from Dish-It!
  • 0 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    partydiva01
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    Dear dish it, my friend first met eachother on the first day of kindergarten we sat next to one another and we became close. we were BFF's throughout 1st to 2nd grades. then, the second grade teacher realized there were alot of kids in the class. and same w the 3rd grade teacher. so, we had to have a split class. my friend was in the split. I was not. It all seemed like the teachers were doing somthing... weired. all the girls (well, almost there were only 6 girls on one half) were in the split. and all the boys were in regular . AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE WAS WEIRED! :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( all the boy BFF's and the girl BFF's were SPLIT. me and my friend,kids named Nia & Georgia, Isaac& Ethan, and more. it was so sad for all of us.2 months later, I got homschooled. 2 years later im back in public with my 4th grade self. everything had changed. a bunch of people were obsessed w\ a girl my age named kassidy. im neighbors w\ kassidy and she is REALLY cool and nice. but the whole I  [s:sm3/1jw1] kassidy crew got mean. if I asked them to play they would say. "If Kassidy is playing I will" or I would want to be parteners with kassidy on something and they would freak out. anyway jasmine NEVER invited my to anything, and I am trying to be nice to her ( ice cream money, homework help, comfort when sad, ect.) And not to mention I invited her to 3 things!!! on the bright side she came to 2 :thumbsup :thumbsup she also embarassed me by saying that she was moving I freaked out  because I cared about her and I would cry all the time. I even held onto her and said sadly, "PLEASE DON'T GO!!  :sad :sad . later i found out that she was not moving, she was going to CA for a vacation. even the teacher was in on it!! :mad :mad anyways, my parents told me that i should just let go of her. But i am not ready. HELP??? :e :e :e :e :e
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    PittsburghPenguinsFanatic
    When I was a child I wanted glasses SOO bad, cuz I wanted to copy my mom and sister. And also, I thought they looked cool. I wear glasses now. I have had them for 2 years and honestly I don't mind them. Although, this year I am gonna pry get contacts for swimming better and stuff like that. But if you don't need glasses I wouldn't recommend wearing them. They're not bad, but trust me after a while you will pry not like them as much. But hey, that's my opinion. If you want to do it I'm not gonna stop you. Do what makes you happy in the long run. And tell your friends that they are non prescription if you don't need them, but still get some.
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    Bratayley_Fan_7
    She is not. I have faced this problem before so I know. You should make a new friend!
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    ValenciaRose
    ValenciaRose posted in Friends:
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    ValenciaRose
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    "btw_sports_rule" wrote:I really like a guy and people think he likes me. I like him but im really scared to tell anyone. I really need help but i don't know who to talk to. I can't talk to parents. They would put me in trouble for falling in love. They believe I can't date until age 20. Aw, well, my advice for you would be to talk to your parents about it. There's no point trying to sneak around like those films and it is better for your mind if you talk to them about it. It can be super difficult I know but if you and your parents get along really well then you guys can talk about it and make it work. On the other hand, if your parents ban you from falling in love as you put it, then I think it's better just to stay as friends with him. 
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