Kw-logo-smaller

Dear Dish-It: Another Dancer Is Jealous Of Me

Dear Dish-It,

I’m a dancer, and everyone in my level thinks I’m the best. I’m starting to take one of my classes at a higher level with two of my friends. This girl in my old level has started being really mean to us. I don’t know if I should be rude back or not. What should I do?


Confused Dancer


Dear CD,


You’re very lucky that you are such a talented and accomplished dancer! It sounds like dancing is something you truly love, and you pour a lot of hard work into it. And, congratulations on being accepted into a higher-level dance class. That’s great news, and I hope you continue working on your talent and growing as a dancer.


As for the girl you say is being mean to you . . . it seems pretty obvious that she is just jealous of you and your abilities in dancing. After all, you were accepted into a higher level, and she was left behind at the lower level. It’s a pretty common scenario – but, I know, an unpleasant situation to have to deal with.


Being rude back to this girl isn’t going to help. It’s going to make her angrier and she’s just going to resent you more and more – which likely means she’ll become meaner and meaner. Rather, you need to do something that a lot of people find really hard to do – you need to put yourself in her shoes.


Try it. If you were this girl, how would you feel seeing three of your friends advance to a higher level while you are left behind? How would you feel if the teacher was constantly congratulating other dancers in the class and only correcting you? How would you feel if you felt like other people were better than you?


If you can truly put yourself in her shoes and feel some of the things she might be feeling, you’ll be better able to understand why she’s being mean to you and how you can make the situation better. By understanding some of the bad things she feels, you may come up with some solutions to the problem.


While it’s obviously impossible for you to get her into the higher class (I’m guessing that’s up to the dance teacher to decide), maybe you and your other friends from dance can include her in some other activities you do. Maybe the four of you can go to the mall or have a sleepover or see a movie together – make her feel like she’s accepted among you, since she probably feels left out at dance. But whatever you do, don’t talk about things she’s not a part of when you’re all together. Leave the dance talk to another time.


If she’s open to it, you may want to offer her some help to improve her own dancing skills, so maybe she can advance to a higher level, too. She may not feel comfortable accepting help from anyone, though, so use your good judgment with this one.


The final suggestion I have for you is to simply be her friend. Don’t retaliate or be mean or rude back to her – even if she continues to do it to you. If she sees that you mean no harm and you like her and accept her and still want to be her friend, she may come around and stop acting the way she is toward you. There’s an old saying – “kill them with kindness" – that applies to this situation really well. The best thing you can do to someone who is being really mean to you is to be really nice to them – maybe, hopefully, eventually, it will rub off.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.


More Dish-It Advice:

  • I Have A Jealous Friend
  • I Get Jealous When She’s With Other Guys
  • He Won’t Stop Calling Me
  • How Do I Win Her Back?
  • More Great Advice from Dish-It!
  • 0 Comments

    latest videos

    F1070304393734

    Are You A Jealous Person?

    • Yeah, I tend to get jealous a lot.
    • Not really. It's rare that I feel jealous about something.
    • No way! Getting jealous is such a waste of time.
    • I don't know.

    related stories

    My dad is the coach of my baseball team and my teammates think I get special treatment<...

    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    cool36
    cool36 posted in Family Issues:
    k i can try 
    reply 22 minutes
    Blizzardgirl76
    Blizzardgirl76 posted in Friends:
    Its my best friends birthday party on Friday and I still don't know what to get her. She's turning 12 and she loves: guardians of the galaxy and Shopping at Newlook. she wears jewellery quite likes hair and beauty products and enjoys watching movies, going to music concerts ( she likes Taylor Swift) and apple products. I'd rather not use gift cards because they're like the lazy option out and she's my Best friend but if you can think of a great brand for her then ok.
    reply about 16 hours
    HannahG
    HannahG posted in Family Issues:
    Talk to your parents about it. Tell them you didn't like your Christmas gift, and don't let your brother boss you around. Your parents can, your brother can't. Your parents gave you life, sorry to tell you but they can do anything they want if it's legal. But your brother can't. Let your parents know that you shouldn't have gotten in trouble for the stuff he doesn't. Tell them he makes you feel really awful and you don't like it. If they're good people they'll understand.
    reply 1 day
    HannahG
    HannahG posted in Friends:
    I would stop being friends with her. I mean she should understand that it'd be mean to do that. It's hard to help your friend get through a breakup when you're dating the same person. Plus you don't even know if she was trying to break you guys up so she could be with him.
    reply 1 day
    HannahG
    HannahG posted in Friends:
    You want to know if he likes you or not? Just ask him. It's not as bad as people say-I mean, it's a question. It looks like he does, so he probably does. It's not that big of a deal.
    reply 1 day

    play online games