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Dear Dish-It, I Have a Jealous Friend

How to Deal With a Jealous BFF

Dear Dish-It,

I think my best friend is jealous of me. She is my best friend since we were really little because we always lived next door to each other but since we both started at a new school this year she seems like she’s jealous of me cause I made new friends and she didn’t. She also says mean things about my boyfriend and my other friends are telling me she’s just jealous. I want her to be my best friend but her jealousy is really bad and it makes me not wanna be her friend anymore. What should I do?

PB&Jelly


Dear PB&J,


Dealing with a jealous friend can be tough but I’ve got some tips that can help you make the best of the situation, be fair to yourself and your friend and save your friendship.


Why is She Jealous?

The first thing you need to do is stop listening to everyone else and go straight to the source – in other words, you need to really find out why your BFF is jealous. Even if you think you knew the reason, it’s important to find out the truth so you can work on fixing the real problem.


Be Sensitive to Her Feelings

Once you know where her jealousy comes from, try and see the situation from your friend’s point of view. Imagine you’re her and how you’d feel if you were in her shoes.


Boost Her Self-Confidence

If you talk to your friend and find out she’s jealous because you were able to make new friend faster than she has, or because you have a boyfriend and she doesn’t, help her to feel better by telling her that you believe in her and ask her what she would like you to do to help her get what she wants. You should also show interest and excitement about the good things that are going on in your BFF’s life. Ask her what is new or what she feels happy or excited about and support her in those things.


Never Brag

Don’t show off or do things to make your friend feel more frustrated or jealous. This is called rubbing salt in her wounds. Don’t exclude your friend when you are hanging out with your new friends at school or with your boyfriend. You don’t have to be together all the time, but invite her along when you can and make her feel included in your life.


What if it Doesn’t Help?

If the above techniques don’t help, don’t worry. Often jealousy is mixed in with anger. If you try and talk to your friend and encourage her kindly but it doesn’t work, back off and give her some time to cool down. She may need to work her feelings out alone or with someone other than you.


Extra Help

If you’re having bad or guilty feelings because of your friend’s jealousy, make sure you get some help and support for yourself so you can work out your feelings without taking them out on her, which will only make the situation worse. It’s easy to feel bad about making your close friend jealous, so be sure to remind yourself that you’re a good friend, too!


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.


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  • Dear Dish-It, Should I Still Talk to Her?
  • More Great Advice from Dish-It!
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    Comments

    essencegotswagg123
    I jealous of all my friend to be honest :)
    commented: Wed Jun 04, 2014

    lulubell141998
    if she is ur bff then go up to her and ask her why she is talkin crap about u if she is...
    commented: Sun Jun 24, 2012

    TrueDaisy

    TrueDaisy wrote:

    and if she refuses and stays the same give her some space for awhile
    commented: Sun Jun 24, 2012

    there are 23 more comments

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    Sindy-poll

    Do You Get Jealous?

    • Yeah! I get jealous all the time.
    • There's a bit of the green-eyed monster in me.
    • No, I'm usually pretty trusting of people's word.
    • I've never really had reason to be.

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    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    Awesomeme234
    Awesomeme234 posted in Style:
    I think you should be you wether or not your tomboy or girlie your being you. You have your own style and don't let nobody change that because THEY don't like it it only matters if YOU like it
    reply about 9 hours
    MissD
    MissD posted in Style:
    This is such an interesting question.. I'll tell you why I think so. I am BOTH the biggest tomboy ever and the girliest girl. I think being either or BOTH is more in YOUR mind than in anything else - it's an internal feeling. Femininity is so personal. I always, always, always have my nails done. BUT they are Gel so they never chip and when I am climbing up mountains or pulling on my wetsuit to things that I find typically damaging to your nails - they stay perfect. So I am doing these rather "tomboyish" activities but my nails are awesome :P I wear a lot of dresses but that doesn't deter me from any activity, the key is shorts underneath. I don't wear make up, not usually but I do love lip gloss. One think I guess I think is important though, feel it. Remind yourself how awesome and unique you are, no matter what you wear - hold your head high and remind yourself you are a QUEEN. Not a princess, lame. BUT a queen! Good Luck, and I love all the practical tips everyone provided. Great job you guys! 
    reply about 9 hours
    Moxie_Girls
    Moxie_Girls posted in Style:
    Is it a movie?
    reply about 10 hours
    blakbutterfly
    blakbutterfly posted in Style:
    I'll say some stuff that 'girly-girls' do, and the stuff in the brackets would be things added by my best friend. Who is also very annoyingly sarcastic! -.- Paint your toes (get obsessed to them too, all of these girls are!), wear cute little dresses (don't mean huge ballgown style dresses, duh?) , or just fun-cute tops with jeans, maintain your nails (perfectly), take a lot of care about your skin, maintain it, cleanse, moisturize and exfoliate, and start doing make up. (Also, I would suggest to learn how to do a good hair flip, for some reason girly girls are like 'ERMAIGAWD' *flip hair*) Yes, my best friend is annoying but she's girly enough to be able to have a say in here. Here's a bit of advice from me, don't try to change your style because of what people might think or say, do it if you want to and if you feel comfortable with it. You are more than perfect the way you are, whether a tomboy or a girly-girl and it doesn't really matter what you are.
    reply about 11 hours
    Kirsteeeeen
    Kirsteeeeen posted in Style:
    Personally I think you should just find things you like and wear them without worrying about what style it fits in to. You should express yourself, not conform to other people's views/standards. :)
    reply about 11 hours

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