Dear Dish-It, I Have a Jealous Friend

Dear Dish-It,

I think my best friend is jealous of me. She is my best friend since we were really little because we always lived next door to each other but since we both started at a new school this year she seems like she’s jealous of me cause I made new friends and she didn’t. She also says mean things about my boyfriend and my other friends are telling me she’s just jealous. I want her to be my best friend but her jealousy is really bad and it makes me not wanna be her friend anymore. What should I do?


Dear PB&J,

Dealing with a jealous friend can be tough but I’ve got some tips that can help you make the best of the situation, be fair to yourself and your friend and save your friendship.

Why is She Jealous?

The first thing you need to do is stop listening to everyone else and go straight to the source – in other words, you need to really find out why your BFF is jealous. Even if you think you knew the reason, it’s important to find out the truth so you can work on fixing the real problem.

Be Sensitive to Her Feelings

Once you know where her jealousy comes from, try and see the situation from your friend’s point of view. Imagine you’re her and how you’d feel if you were in her shoes.

Boost Her Self-Confidence

If you talk to your friend and find out she’s jealous because you were able to make new friend faster than she has, or because you have a boyfriend and she doesn’t, help her to feel better by telling her that you believe in her and ask her what she would like you to do to help her get what she wants. You should also show interest and excitement about the good things that are going on in your BFF’s life. Ask her what is new or what she feels happy or excited about and support her in those things.

Never Brag

Don’t show off or do things to make your friend feel more frustrated or jealous. This is called rubbing salt in her wounds. Don’t exclude your friend when you are hanging out with your new friends at school or with your boyfriend. You don’t have to be together all the time, but invite her along when you can and make her feel included in your life.

What if it Doesn’t Help?

If the above techniques don’t help, don’t worry. Often jealousy is mixed in with anger. If you try and talk to your friend and encourage her kindly but it doesn’t work, back off and give her some time to cool down. She may need to work her feelings out alone or with someone other than you.

Extra Help

If you’re having bad or guilty feelings because of your friend’s jealousy, make sure you get some help and support for yourself so you can work out your feelings without taking them out on her, which will only make the situation worse. It’s easy to feel bad about making your close friend jealous, so be sure to remind yourself that you’re a good friend, too!

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    EndlessDream posted in Friends:
    Hmmm....Then she mustn't be necessarily "using" you, if she is not getting something in return ( As far as we know of). However, It does sound like she is being extremely unfair. That just might be how she is. Not exactly loyal to anyone. Well, try to talk to her about it and tell her how you feel. And, if it doesn't work out, then she might not be a great friend to hang around with, and maybe you will find someone else who enjoys your company. I hope this helps, and good luck :)
    reply about 22 hours
    XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
    No not really. Like I said, one minute she's all smiley and then she doesn't even look at me. Most of the time I see her with Daniela and Andrea. Today she was asking me if I was going to hang out with her, Daniela, Andrea and Luisa during recess. When I told her that I was 'going to have to think' she was like, "Whatever." and ran off to catch up with the Threesome. Thanks. :)
    reply about 22 hours
    EndlessDream posted in Friends:
    Is she asking you to do things for her? Like help with homework, carry her books and so on?
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