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Dear Dish-It, I Have a Jealous Friend

How to Deal With a Jealous BFF

Dear Dish-It,

I think my best friend is jealous of me. She is my best friend since we were really little because we always lived next door to each other but since we both started at a new school this year she seems like she’s jealous of me cause I made new friends and she didn’t. She also says mean things about my boyfriend and my other friends are telling me she’s just jealous. I want her to be my best friend but her jealousy is really bad and it makes me not wanna be her friend anymore. What should I do?

PB&Jelly


Dear PB&J,


Dealing with a jealous friend can be tough but I’ve got some tips that can help you make the best of the situation, be fair to yourself and your friend and save your friendship.


Why is She Jealous?

The first thing you need to do is stop listening to everyone else and go straight to the source – in other words, you need to really find out why your BFF is jealous. Even if you think you knew the reason, it’s important to find out the truth so you can work on fixing the real problem.


Be Sensitive to Her Feelings

Once you know where her jealousy comes from, try and see the situation from your friend’s point of view. Imagine you’re her and how you’d feel if you were in her shoes.


Boost Her Self-Confidence

If you talk to your friend and find out she’s jealous because you were able to make new friend faster than she has, or because you have a boyfriend and she doesn’t, help her to feel better by telling her that you believe in her and ask her what she would like you to do to help her get what she wants. You should also show interest and excitement about the good things that are going on in your BFF’s life. Ask her what is new or what she feels happy or excited about and support her in those things.


Never Brag

Don’t show off or do things to make your friend feel more frustrated or jealous. This is called rubbing salt in her wounds. Don’t exclude your friend when you are hanging out with your new friends at school or with your boyfriend. You don’t have to be together all the time, but invite her along when you can and make her feel included in your life.


What if it Doesn’t Help?

If the above techniques don’t help, don’t worry. Often jealousy is mixed in with anger. If you try and talk to your friend and encourage her kindly but it doesn’t work, back off and give her some time to cool down. She may need to work her feelings out alone or with someone other than you.


Extra Help

If you’re having bad or guilty feelings because of your friend’s jealousy, make sure you get some help and support for yourself so you can work out your feelings without taking them out on her, which will only make the situation worse. It’s easy to feel bad about making your close friend jealous, so be sure to remind yourself that you’re a good friend, too!


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.


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  • readers voted!

    Comments

    essencegotswagg123
    I jealous of all my friend to be honest smile
    commented: Wed Jun 04, 2014

    lulubell141998
    if she is ur bff then go up to her and ask her why she is talkin crap about u if she is ur true friend then she will not be doing this she is probably just sayin it so she get some friends but at the end she might not have anyone so just go ask her why she is talkin crap about u and if she is rude to u then just walk away dont be mean back just fight back with kindnes and dont say any thing mean back cuz it will start a bigger problem then what u already started with just sayin
    commented: Sun Jun 24, 2012

    TrueDaisy

    TrueDaisy wrote:

    and if she refuses and stays the same give her some space for awhile
    commented: Sun Jun 24, 2012

    there are 23 more comments

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    Sindy-poll

    Do You Get Jealous?

    • Yeah! I get jealous all the time.
    • There's a bit of the green-eyed monster in me.
    • No, I'm usually pretty trusting of people's word.
    • I've never really had reason to be.

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    I Feel like I should paste this here  Always remember this: Someone out there loves you. May be here online or on the other side of the world but they would care that you died. Now please put down that knife/blade or rope or gun or anything and think "do you want things to get better" or "do you want the chance of things getting better to be eliminated. Now let your scars fade and remember these words "I care"
    reply about 1 hour
    scarlet177
    scarlet177 posted in Friends:
    According 2 me..... a perfect friend should be..... kind towards all, loving, funny, helping, and some times silly ( a friend shounldn't be ALWAYS serious!) friendly ( of course ), and..................... AWESOME!!!! :D !! I do have friend with all these qualities..... her name is ******  and she has ALL these qualities!!!!!!!! so she is AWESOME, COOL AND A PERFECT FRIEND!! :D :)
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    scarlet177
    scarlet177 posted in Friends:
    My BFF is awesome!!!!!!! I know that cuz, she is the only person whon can understand my feelings when my enemies or some other friends tease me badly or when those ppl be rude to me....... :(  . I can share all my secrets to her........ she is Awesome cuz, she is being herself . Her name is ****** ....... and she is my WORLD'S BEST FRIEND!!!!! :D
    reply about 14 hours
    Alexis7343
    Alexis7343 posted in Friends:
    I think its really great you posted this, cause a lot of people need it. Adults don't notice children problems. When I was in 2ed grade i was bullied by teens that were like 16. Not only that, teachers can bully kids too. My mom always puts people who try to kill them selves down in awful ways. Every time she says that stuff I am very offended by it cause she knows I have emotional problems but she still like to dig into it. Someone who feels they need to kill themselves needs someone to trust and talk to. I'm so happy you posted this. Cause it is so true!
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    GaaraOfTheSand
    GaaraOfTheSand posted in Friends:
    I GONNA go draw
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