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Dear Dish-It, I'm Not Ready for Sex

Dear Dish-It,

I really like this boy and he likes me. We were going together for a while - not too long, maybe four weeks. So, one day a friend of his that goes to his school told me he goes with some other girl and that's why he didn't show up last night. He also said the boy was only going with me because he wanted me to have sex with him but I'm not ready for sex. I'm only 13 but I really do like him. Should I do it or just find a guy who likes me for me, not for being fully developed at age 13?
Confused


Dear Confused,

You need to change your name to something more appropriate like CoolGurl or Totally-Together - cuz confused you ain't. You know exactly what you should and shouldn't do here... but let me reconfirm. Should you "do it" with this guy? No. Should you "just find a guy who likes you for you and not for being fully developed at age 13?" YES!


Being the first to develop in your class, or developing early, is tough but don't stress over it. It's just a normal bod-thing... but unfortunately it means a few more stares, smirks and maybe even some undesirable attention. This dude that you like - he's the poster-child for undesirable attention. First-off, he's a total player. Secondly, he's a scammer. You need to realize that the boy you thought was all that, isn't anything at all. Lose him and don't look back. And, girlfriend, good on you for knowing that just because your body is maturing doesn't mean that you're ready for sex.


Dear Dish-It,

I know these boys named James and Sandy. I don't know if they like me or not but they are always flirting and stuff. And neither one of them has asked me out. What's wrong with them?
bowwowqtpywife


Dear Dish-It,

I like this boy name Sandy but he does not seem to notice me when I want him to the most. He's always talking to me but that's not good enough. And I just can't ask him out because I am too scared. Every girl at my school seems to be able to ask Sandy out but me. Most my friends have gone with him but me. And I'm always writing him letters but he never responds and just keeps the letters in his bookbag or something like that. I wanna know how can I be down with my future beau? Please help me.
bowwowqtpywife


Dear Dish-It,

I told my friends I really hate this boy that I like named Sandy. Because I have wrote him so many letters telling him about me but he don't respond. And it is kinda of embarrassing.
bowwowqtpywife


Dear Dish-It,

I like dis boy named Sandy but I go up to him to ask him out but he always has a girlfriend when I do. And he is not lying because everybody knows when he has a girlfriend. Help!!!!!!!
bowwowqtpywife


Dear bowwowqtpywife,

Whoa girlfriend! That was longer and more confusing than any Days of Our Lives plotline! I think I can tell ya why Sandy and James aren't asking you out... but you may not want to hear it...
I think Sandy just isn't into ya girlfriend. Sorry. You say you write him all the time but he never responds, he's dated all your friends and when you ask him out he's always going out with someone else... Am I the only one that sees the big ol' signs here? You have a crush on someone who doesn't have a crush on you - trust me, it's not a big deal. It happens to all of us at some point or another in life. Don't let it get you down - but don't let it make you into a freak either. Tellin' peeps you carry big hate for him is not going to win you brownie points with anyone. Just take a deep breath, enjoy the friendship he's obviously willing to give and move on... gracefully.


Now as for James, maybe he just isn't ready for the dating scene. Remember, people develop emotionally (and physically) at their own pace. Flirtin' is one thing he may be good at and he may be comfortable with - but going out with someone could still be as scary as a Scream movie for him. Just relax and be his friend and see if things start to change gradually. And, girl, no dis' meant but you may not be ready for the datin' scene either. You sent me a ton of emails in a short time all with crazy emotions over two diff guys. You should relax a little and just let things happen naturally.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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#1 Sign He's Not Into You?

  • If he acts kinda cold when you chat him up, he ain't interested.
  • If he doesn't return your calls it's a HUGE hint.
  • He may think he's not into me, but given enough time, I can change his mind.
  • If he runs away screaming, I pretty much give up.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

SmartSunnyShadow
I have one so annoying sister, that it feels like I have 200 of them, oh my god. She's pounding on the door right now, HELP! 
reply about 11 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
Dad, obviously. I can't even explain what he does to me!
reply about 11 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
Well, if they are your BFFs, they shouldn't be teasing you to make you feel bad. Me, and my BFFs tease each other all the time playfully, but I understand that this is different, and if it's making you feel bad it isn't playful at all.   Maybe your eldest friend is having some trouble with family issues, bad grades, body changes, etc. It's okay to be angry, so maybe you should leave her space for a few days, and see if it turns better. If it isn't, then try to first make her calm down. Then, make her talk to you about why she is so angry and ask if you can try to help. If nothing turns out better, tell her that you feel uncomfortable, and you want her to talk to you.  For your 3rd eldest friend, support her as much as possible, and stand up for her in this terrible situation. If you are all BFFs, then you should all be very close and comfortable around each other, and the fight shouldn't last long. If not, they are not your real friends, and you have to go on without them. I have tons of advice on how to make new friends, so just ask me if you want to know. Your 2nd eldest friend seems to be the main problem.  First of all, tell her to stop, and say how you don't like her bullying you. You must say what she is doing wrong, and how it makes you feel. If she doesn't care, tell her you're serious, and you hate what she is doing to you. If it continues, ignore what trash she is saying, and just simply walk away. Focus on other things that will help make you feel better. Remember, all she is is a person, and it's up to you to act appropriately.  Stay positive, and calm. Focus on other things, and if she continues, tell her that you can all be friends and you miss her. Go get another friend to stand up with you, and tell her that you will report to an adult if she won't stop. She may be your friend, but she deserves it. I told on my BFF when she was mean, so it's all okay now.  If all else fails, get a trusted adult, and hang out with nicer friends. Your other friends will learn from their mistakes. If not, warn them, and give them a sincere kindness note of how you miss being friends. Then, also give one to the bully.
reply about 11 hours
AnnaOfExquizurd
Yeah, @CyclonicBass the best option really is to find a girl with a quirky personality. Become friends with her. Possibly, over time, she'll grow close to you and accept a request to be with you. Hope it goes well!
reply 1 day
drowning
You go out and you find someone who you can be you with. It's not a hard question to find the answer too.
reply 1 day