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Dear Dish-It: Desperate For A Boyfriend

My Parents Won't Let Me Date

Dear Dish-It,


My mom won't let me have a boyfriend until after college. I don't think it is right. I am currently IN LOVE. I don't know what to do. My cousin is two years older than me and she says I should only have a boyfriend when I am her age – that’s in two years for cryin' out loud! I can't wait that long! Should I date my love without tellin' my parents or just wait for more than 10 years to get a boyfriend? I’m very desperate to get one!


TheGirlWhoIsDesperateToGetABoyfriend or TGWIDTGAB


Dear TGWIDTGAB,


I wonder why your parents feel the way they do about dating? Have you and your parents actually sat down and discussed dating? Such a discussion would give your parents the opportunity to explain why they have concerns about dating at an early age. Such a discussion also would give you the opportunity to bring out some important points, such as the following.


1. Dating is an important part of growing up. It allows the adolescent to gain experience and social skills that actually will be helpful in avoiding risky situations in the future. You might explain that learning to deal with boys now might actually help you keep relationships appropriate.


2. Dating gives an adolescent the opportunity to form friendships with the opposite sex and to gain understanding of what boys are like. Actually, it is important to experience some of these relationships in order to make wise decisions about really important partnerships like MARRIAGE. Dating is learning how to know the difference between a not-so-good relationship and a really good (awesome) relationship that hopefully could be permanent.


3. It would be great to be able to go to mom and dad for advice during some of these dating experiences...again, preparing you for adult relationships.


4. It would be great to be able to call home for a ride if things get out of hand. This might not be possible if you have had no dating experience and start dating after you’re on your own (college or job). The best time for such discussions is before you start dating.


If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.


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    Comments

    lonnie123

    lonnie123 wrote:

    Yo let me tell y'all sometime boys is not that serious like just wait be when you got a...
    commented: Wed Aug 27, 2014

    JennyD

    JennyD wrote:

    you don't need one. what for/ ur gonna break up wit him anyways
    commented: Wed Oct 16, 2013

    animefreakXD

    animefreakXD wrote:

    Luka ######### Just Be Friends (it's a good song)
    commented: Wed Oct 16, 2013

    there are 97 more comments

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    "ThunderSpirit" wrote:Wow. We have more in common than I thought.I had the same problem [except she was a little less mean] and this is the advice I was given. Don't exactly go up to her and say, "I don't wanna be friends," because although she is mean, she still might be hurt. Just don't really make it official, but slowly drift apart from her. Try to meet new people, maybe there's someone great you just haven't met yet. And maybe she's having problems of her own, not like that's an excuse. But in the end, if she does apologize to you, she might be a friend worth keeping, but those insults were pretty serious, not something best friends would do, and you probably wouldn't forgive her. I get that. Thanks for the good advice! I don`t see her often so drifting away is the smartest idea. Although I see her at family parties and stuff cause she is a family friend. I`ll try and drift away from her. If she gets better at being kind I`ll be her friend again most likely. Thanks! 
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    ThunderSpirit
    ThunderSpirit posted in Friends:
    Wow. We have more in common than I thought. I had the same problem [except she was a little less mean] and this is the advice I was given. Don't exactly go up to her and say, "I don't wanna be friends," because although she is mean, she still might be hurt. Just don't really make it official, but slowly drift apart from her. Try to meet new people, maybe there's someone great you just haven't met yet. And maybe she's having problems of her own, not like that's an excuse. But in the end, if she does apologize to you, she might be a friend worth keeping, but those insults were pretty serious, not something best friends would do, and you probably wouldn't forgive her. I get that.
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