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Dear Dish-It: My BFF's A Bully

Dear Dish-It,


My best friend is very bossy. She tried to intimidate me by picking on me. Should I still be her friend or kick her to the curb?


sweetbaby


Dear SB,


To me it sounds like your so-called “best friend” is a bully and she’s not treating you the way a real friend would. Bullying is a very serious matter, whether it happens between you and someone you don’t know very well or you and one of your closest friends.


If you are at the point where you don’t think you can trust her anymore, I’d say it’s time to move on and get some new friends. But if she’s been your friend forever and you really want to work things out with her, there are some things you can do.


The best thing to do is to talk to your friend. Be serious about it and tell her that you’re feeling really upset about how she’s picking on you. You can either pull her aside some time or just tell her the next time she starts bothering you.


When you talk to her, you should say that you realize she may not mean to hurt you but she is, in fact, really making you upset. Tell her you want her to stop because you’re tired of it. Be sure to say you still want to be friends with her but it’s getting harder and harder the more she picks on you. Tell her she has to stop or you’re afraid your friendship may end and you may not be able to fix it anymore.


Whatever you do, don’t be nasty to her when you speak to her – just get your point across in a very clear and calm way. Remember, two wrongs never make a right, so if you scream and yell at her you most likely won’t sort anything out at all.


If the bullying continues after you’ve spoken to your friend, then you may have a far more serious problem. At that point, please tell your parents or a teacher at school what’s happening. An adult who cares about you will be able to help you out if you find yourself in a really tough situation with your BFF.


If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.


More Advice:

  • What Is Bullying
  • I’m Being Bullied At School
  • The Bully Factor
  • Anti-Bully Tactics
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