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Dear Dish-It: My BFF's A Bully

Dear Dish-It,


My best friend is very bossy. She tried to intimidate me by picking on me. Should I still be her friend or kick her to the curb?


sweetbaby


Dear SB,


To me it sounds like your so-called “best friend” is a bully and she’s not treating you the way a real friend would. Bullying is a very serious matter, whether it happens between you and someone you don’t know very well or you and one of your closest friends.


If you are at the point where you don’t think you can trust her anymore, I’d say it’s time to move on and get some new friends. But if she’s been your friend forever and you really want to work things out with her, there are some things you can do.


The best thing to do is to talk to your friend. Be serious about it and tell her that you’re feeling really upset about how she’s picking on you. You can either pull her aside some time or just tell her the next time she starts bothering you.


When you talk to her, you should say that you realize she may not mean to hurt you but she is, in fact, really making you upset. Tell her you want her to stop because you’re tired of it. Be sure to say you still want to be friends with her but it’s getting harder and harder the more she picks on you. Tell her she has to stop or you’re afraid your friendship may end and you may not be able to fix it anymore.


Whatever you do, don’t be nasty to her when you speak to her – just get your point across in a very clear and calm way. Remember, two wrongs never make a right, so if you scream and yell at her you most likely won’t sort anything out at all.


If the bullying continues after you’ve spoken to your friend, then you may have a far more serious problem. At that point, please tell your parents or a teacher at school what’s happening. An adult who cares about you will be able to help you out if you find yourself in a really tough situation with your BFF.


If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.


More Advice:

  • What Is Bullying
  • I’m Being Bullied At School
  • The Bully Factor
  • Anti-Bully Tactics
  • 1 Comment

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    rainbowpoptart
    Yes, purely for the fact that you should not "hate" your sister (or anyone, for that matter).  I'm guessing by "get in trouble for her", you mean she does something wrong and the blame is all put on you? Yeah, little siblings tend to do that a lot. My brother did for the longest time, until my parents found out how much a liar he is. She, hopefully, will grow out of this eventually. Either that, or your parent[s]/guardian[s] will eventually see through her. You lose your friends to her? By this do you mean your friends want to hang out with her and they want you to tag along and you don't? Or do you mean your friends chose your sister over you? If it's the latter, then perhaps you shouldn't have ever referred to those people as friends. You'll find friends who'll prefer you over your sister, I'm sure of it. The only thing I can tell you to do is try to get along with your sister. Every group of siblings has their cats and dogs moment in life, but they grow out of it (most of the time; there are, of course, circumstances where it doesn't work out that way). Please be grateful for your sister, even if you two fight a lot. You never know how much you need something until it's gone.
    reply about 6 hours
    liddielover
    i hate my little sister because i get introuble for her and lose my friends to her.is that wrong?
    reply about 7 hours
    skylar245
    skylar245 posted in Friends:
    "rainbowpoptart" wrote: "skylar245" wrote: Teacher said to wait for the Bus Driver and the counselor, she just talks to me and doesn't tell The Princible Then maybe try telling the principal yourself, and you should also report that the driver, teacher, and counselor haven't done anything to help you. If that fails, tell another trusted adult, like your mother. I'm sure someone you're close to would do their best to get justice. This is a major problem and it's a shame no one's done anything to help. ​No one listens to me anyway but my friends
    reply 2 days
    rainbowpoptart
    rainbowpoptart posted in Friends:
    "skylar245" wrote:Teacher said to wait for the Bus Driver and the counselor, she just talks to me and doesn't tell The Princible Then maybe try telling the principal yourself, and you should also report that the driver, teacher, and counselor haven't done anything to help you. If that fails, tell another trusted adult, like your mother. I'm sure someone you're close to would do their best to get justice. This is a major problem and it's a shame no one's done anything to help.
    reply 2 days
    skylar245
    skylar245 posted in Friends:
    "rainbowpoptart" wrote: "skylar245" wrote: My bus driver does NOTHING about it EVEN IF HE SEE'S IT! he only wrote the two girls up but not the girl that hit me Then report them to a teacher or the school counselor. Behaviour like that is not acceptable in the slightest. ​Teacher said to wait for the Bus Driver and the counselor, she just talks to me and doesn't tell The Princible
    reply 2 days