Kw-logo-smaller

Dear Dish-It: We're Drifting Apart

Dear Dish-It,


My friend is turning into someone I don’t like. What should I do?


wanted2know


Dear W2K,


First, let me tell you that you are in a very common place. As we grow up we change and as this happens we often drift away from old friends. It is a normal part of life. For the most part, friendships drift apart so slowly that the break is virtually painless. These old friendships are replaced by fond memories of closer times and polite smiles as you pass each other in the halls at school. But sometimes the break is not so easy. If one friend is ready for a change in their life when the other’s not, the end result can be resentment and hurt feelings. I suspect this is what is happening to you.


If you are sure that you and your friend have really grown in different directions, the only way to keep things civil between you is by talking to her before your resentment deepens. Tell her you still value her despite your differences but be honest and tell her that it seems the two of you no longer share the same interests and that you think it would be a good idea if you each pursued new interests alone. Do not end the friendship completely and make your friend understand that you still intend to find time for her. Then stick by your word and still talk to her on the phone, make "dates" to see her, and hang with her at school. Just do these things less frequently. Encourage her to make new friends of her own or help her connect with other people in your new group with whom she may have more in common.


As you and she move on in your lives, never break the golden rule of friendship. Turning on an old friend almost always ends in regret, no matter what the short term social gains may be. It is never worth throwing away a childhood friendship just because she may not be the exact same person she used to be. The memories you and she share can't be erased by a few awkward years; it is best not to turn her into an enemy. Good friendships are hard to come by and should never be lightly dismissed.


If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.


More Advice:

  • I Want A BFF
  • I Don’t Trust My BFF
  • My BFF Is Blackmailing Me
  • My BFF Is Gay
  • ,/p>
    7 Comments

    latest videos

    Sindy-poll

    How Often Do You Hang With Your BFF?

    • 24/7!
    • At least once a day.
    • A couple times a week after school.
    • Once a week - if we're lucky.

    related stories

    All my friends fight continuously and because of that we are not as close as before. My friends a...

    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    Hemmingsgirl
    Hemmingsgirl posted in Friends:
    That's horrible I hope people stop saying that. How rude. 
    reply about 13 hours
    jazebelle
    jazebelle posted in Friends:
    There was a rumor about me losing my ######### to my teacher. It wasn't true. I have a disorder were its hard for me to read Cuz I would think its one word but it wasn't it. And I always stay after school in his classroom Cuz he helps me a lot. 
    reply about 13 hours
    Hemmingsgirl
    Hemmingsgirl posted in Friends:
    Dear Dish-It I have a horse that I board at a local barn. I was really excited when I started going there because there are 3 other kids there my age: Riley, Lilly and Isaac,  who are all 14 (I'm 13). Isaac is the only boy, and lately some of my family have been thinking I have a crush on him. But I don't! I think crushes are weird and gross and honestly have never really had one. I consider him a friend, nothing more. But nobody believes me! Every time they see me texting someone they ask if it's Isaac. If I'm zoned out they ask if I'm thinking about him. But I never am! I know that I should just ignore them but its really difficult. I feel uncomfortable riding horses together or talking because I feel like it'll make people think I have a crush on him. I know my fam isn't trying to be mean but its really upsetting, and the more I get upset the more they tease me. I don't think they realize that I don't find the teasing nice or fun. And also im not usually a sensitive person so maybe this is a touchy subject for me? Thanks so much!  P.S. Riley and Lilly don't think I like him. 
    reply about 15 hours
    Kvinne
    Kvinne posted in Friends:
    Teleportation, wish magic, some black magic here and there (In response to Erza_Scarlet56)
    reply about 17 hours
    David_Teh_Derp
    David_Teh_Derp posted in Friends:
    Well, I don't really know, but I am sort of insane too, but not in the same way. I have instead practiced my own opinion and been very philosophical since I bumped my head when I fell of my bike. So you're not alone, many people including mentally stable ones have imaginary friends. Even some shows are based on someone having imaginary friends. Like a show I used to watch when I was small, Alfons Åberg, yes, in later seasons he did get real friends but he was known for his imaginary friend. About that practicing magic thing, it seems a bit weird but then, there is not much difference from putting frogs, bug's blood and secret herbs into a cauldron from cooking French food. So I think you can discover your future from using cooking stuff to practice your 'magic'. "Insanity is not insanity if you would make a movie of it, and nothing exciting, adrenaline rushing or thrilling would happen in it"  -Me As you can see I have a very complicated opinion on it, maybe even the most. Oh, and you could be loosing your sanity or just having a time where this happens and everything is normal again. (And no, I haven't seen your previous discussions)
    reply 1 day

    play online games