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Dear Dish-It: We're Drifting Apart

Drifting Apart Is Natural

Dear Dish-It,


My friend is turning into someone I don’t like. What should I do?


wanted2know


Dear W2K,


First, let me tell you that you are in a very common place. As we grow up we change and as this happens we often drift away from old friends. It is a normal part of life. For the most part, friendships drift apart so slowly that the break is virtually painless. These old friendships are replaced by fond memories of closer times and polite smiles as you pass each other in the halls at school. But sometimes the break is not so easy. If one friend is ready for a change in their life when the other’s not, the end result can be resentment and hurt feelings. I suspect this is what is happening to you.


If you are sure that you and your friend have really grown in different directions, the only way to keep things civil between you is by talking to her before your resentment deepens. Tell her you still value her despite your differences but be honest and tell her that it seems the two of you no longer share the same interests and that you think it would be a good idea if you each pursued new interests alone. Do not end the friendship completely and make your friend understand that you still intend to find time for her. Then stick by your word and still talk to her on the phone, make "dates" to see her, and hang with her at school. Just do these things less frequently. Encourage her to make new friends of her own or help her connect with other people in your new group with whom she may have more in common.


As you and she move on in your lives, never break the golden rule of friendship. Turning on an old friend almost always ends in regret, no matter what the short term social gains may be. It is never worth throwing away a childhood friendship just because she may not be the exact same person she used to be. The memories you and she share can't be erased by a few awkward years; it is best not to turn her into an enemy. Good friendships are hard to come by and should never be lightly dismissed.


If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.


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    Comments

    tink23

    tink23 wrote:

    i tink you sould not hold in becase i said some think reely mean to her
    commented: Mon Jan 28, 2013

    cutie64

    cutie64 wrote:

    happend to me my friend turned really popular and became friends with a mean girl and i didnt like the way she was acting so i told her and then i dont know y but she decided to ditch her popular friends and hang with me again
    commented: Sun Aug 21, 2011

    rock star 74

    rock star 74 wrote:

    all my friends at my old school went to defrent groups
    commented: Tue May 10, 2011

    there are 7 more comments

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    lawliet16
    lawliet16 posted in Friends:
    Maybe your overrating her personality while underrating yourself. Girls extremely like confident men so start working on your self esteem first because it stimulates interest to get to know you more especially on the romantic context and don`t forget to just be yourself so that you will know if she accept you to who you are and don`t let the "ideal boy" standard of the society bring you down. Remember that real happiness can be achieve when you are true to yourself so don`t mind what other people think of you and stop comparing yourself to the boys around her. Embrace your imperfections and wash away your insecurities and maybe she`ll like you back ;)
    reply about 2 hours
    lawliet16
    Considering your age, it is normal that your parents might not accept it in case he likes you and the feeling is mutual and you must understand them. This is time when you need to focus in your studies and prepare for your future career and not for your future husband. You are still very young and trust me, you are still emotionally unprepared for this one heck of a roller coaster ride of emotions. Know the difference between loving that person and loving the feeling that you are in love. ;)
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    peace16
    peace16 posted in Friends:
    Well I am happy that you off of them. 
    reply about 3 hours
    UnknownPoster
    UnknownPoster posted in Friends:
    "peace16" wrote:Oh man, I feel bad for you. I will sugguest rest it.. and when the 6 weeks of up. you can do whatever you want too do. Thanks. I am already back in school, I no longer have crutches thankfully. Also, i'd like to point out that they don't have social media, or at least, i'm not aware of it and I am out of school for two weeks for Christmas. Crushes are annoying lol. I have never been in a relationship either which makes things so much worst. 
    reply about 3 hours
    peace16
    peace16 posted in Friends:
    Oh man, I feel bad for you. I will sugguest rest it.. and when the 6 weeks of up. you can do whatever you want too do. Thanks.
    reply about 4 hours

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