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Dear Dish-It: My BFF Is Trying To Blackmail Me

Dear Dish-It,

My BFF started spreading rumors about me. She told everyone I was dating my crush on my bus, which is a lie. Then, out of nowhere, she accused me of being a lying mean girl. I just walked away and ignored it. Should I be mad at her because she's constantly trying to blackmail me?


friends4life


Dear friends4life,


I’m sorry to hear that you and your BFF aren’t getting along right now. However, I don’t think getting mad at her is the right thing to do in this situation. Have you ever heard of the saying, “two wrongs don’t make a right?” It means that if she’s mad at you and you decide to get mad back at her, nothing will be solved or accomplished. Doing to her what she’s doing to you, or behaving the same way she is behaving won’t make you two best friends again.


I think you need to consider a few things before you decide what to do. From what you’ve said, it doesn’t really sound like this girl is a very good friend to you. Friends don’t start rumors about each other, and friends don’t call each other names. Ask yourself: Is this a person you really want or need in your life?


If the answer is yes, then I think the only thing to do is to talk to your friend. But you can’t confront her when you’re angry or defensive. You have to do in a very calm, neutral way. Make sure she knows you have no intention of attacking her – tell her you just really miss her as a friend and you want to sort things out. You can try asking her why she’s being so mean to you – maybe ask her if there’s something you’ve done wrong to make her feel bad. You should also find out if something else is bothering her and making her take her anger out on you. Let her know you truly care about her and are there to help her however you can. You also need to make sure she knows you forgive her for spreading rumors about you and calling you names – and you have to make sure you really mean it, and aren’t just saying it. You can’t be friends with someone while you’re holding a grudge against them. It just won’t work.


If, on the other hand, the answer is no, then you simply move on. It may be sad to lose someone who used to be a really good and close friend, but know that you are moving on from a relationship that is potentially toxic and damaging to you. In time you will meet and make a new BFF – someone who really cares about you and treats you the way a best friend should.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.


More Dish-It Advice:

  • I’m Struggling With My Social Life
  • My Friends Are Mean
  • Should I Still Talk To Her?
  • It Really Hurt My Friend
  • More Great Advice from Dish-It!
  • 29 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    yugimutoz
    just message him about the situation over text or social media! tell him you still want to be friends & you don't want to let things be so awkward anymore between you two. ^__^
    reply about 13 hours
    SimplyAda
    Gurlll, i also can't start conversations either. Well since it's summer? Do you know his social media... like Twitter or Instagram? You can try messaging him about how you feel. I know it seems crazy but just try. Or just confront him in person when you see him in seventh grade. Confidence is key. If he still continues to ignore you  and avoid you, then he's not worth your time gurll. Just ignore him. And focus on your goals and get big and make sure that he regrets avoiding you.  lol you don't have to do all of that, but good luck   :)
    reply about 13 hours
    SimplyAda
    SimplyAda posted in Friends:
    Yes. They were fake anyways and disrespectful. Had to cut them off.
    reply about 13 hours
    NightSpoon
    Try asking him about his hobbies, whats up, etc. normal stuff. You guys might find some interesting stuff about each other or even more.
    reply 1 day
    MeowAllDay
    So ever since last Monday my crush has been ignoring me, and I didn't want to push him into talking. We smile and wave but that's about it. I don't know how to get a conversation started. I do compliment, and that never works, but I also asked him what his school profile picture was. He answered and the conversation stopped there. Oh, and I don't think I mentioned that my bff doesn't really like him at all.
    reply 1 day