-
x

Meet New Friends!

Recommended friends are based on your interests. Make sure they are up to date.

Friends
Kidzworld Logo

Dear Dish-It: My BFF Is Trying To Blackmail Me

Dear Dish-It,

My BFF started spreading rumors about me. She told everyone I was dating my crush on my bus, which is a lie. Then, out of nowhere, she accused me of being a lying mean girl. I just walked away and ignored it. Should I be mad at her because she's constantly trying to blackmail me?


friends4life


Dear friends4life,


I’m sorry to hear that you and your BFF aren’t getting along right now. However, I don’t think getting mad at her is the right thing to do in this situation. Have you ever heard of the saying, “two wrongs don’t make a right?” It means that if she’s mad at you and you decide to get mad back at her, nothing will be solved or accomplished. Doing to her what she’s doing to you, or behaving the same way she is behaving won’t make you two best friends again.


I think you need to consider a few things before you decide what to do. From what you’ve said, it doesn’t really sound like this girl is a very good friend to you. Friends don’t start rumors about each other, and friends don’t call each other names. Ask yourself: Is this a person you really want or need in your life?


If the answer is yes, then I think the only thing to do is to talk to your friend. But you can’t confront her when you’re angry or defensive. You have to do in a very calm, neutral way. Make sure she knows you have no intention of attacking her – tell her you just really miss her as a friend and you want to sort things out. You can try asking her why she’s being so mean to you – maybe ask her if there’s something you’ve done wrong to make her feel bad. You should also find out if something else is bothering her and making her take her anger out on you. Let her know you truly care about her and are there to help her however you can. You also need to make sure she knows you forgive her for spreading rumors about you and calling you names – and you have to make sure you really mean it, and aren’t just saying it. You can’t be friends with someone while you’re holding a grudge against them. It just won’t work.


If, on the other hand, the answer is no, then you simply move on. It may be sad to lose someone who used to be a really good and close friend, but know that you are moving on from a relationship that is potentially toxic and damaging to you. In time you will meet and make a new BFF – someone who really cares about you and treats you the way a best friend should.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.


More Dish-It Advice:

  • I’m Struggling With My Social Life
  • My Friends Are Mean
  • Should I Still Talk To Her?
  • It Really Hurt My Friend
  • More Great Advice from Dish-It!
  • 29 Comments

    Related Stories

    Mean-girls-poll

    Are You A Mean Girl?

    • Yeah. I can't help it if I'm better than everyone.
    • Sometimes, but I'm not proud of it.
    • No, I'm nice to everyone.
    • Heck no! I'm a guy.

    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    Heyangelhere
    My mom! She always watching my every move it's embarrassing sometimes and if I do such a little thing she'll yell at me! And her punishments aren't that bad but still afraid of my mom and for  my dad not so much but he can get mad and do things like mom but yea
    reply about 2 hours
    GhettoFish
    Sure!
    reply about 7 hours
    Error44
    Error44 posted in Friends:
    "ValenciaRose" wrote:Well that decision is pretty easy to make. I would rather have one good friend then a lot of friends that I can't find a best friend. After all, if there's one person who knows you the most it's the one good friend that's always been there for you. I can't handle lots of friends who don't want to deal with my problems and only respect me for what they get in return. Thank you my friend, I am agree
    reply about 10 hours
    Castlemega
    Pm me (: i know how you feel
    reply 1 day
    GhettoFish
    Hey, I'm only 13 and I'm already sick of my life, and it's all because of my family, you'd think friends are likely to hurt your emotions some time and you have your family to love you and back you up, for me? No no that's not the case, I have by far the least caring family and that's that. I'm the youngest and my family all treat me like a slave. They don't let me sit at home and play on my PS4, my dad lives separate and my mum don't want me to go there and do nothing either. But they don't let me go out with my friends either not even see them, and I know my family deeply and I know it's cuz they don't want me to enjoy my self or have fun. My siblings will try to make my out as a bad person and a burden to the family. If I try explaining myself if they've got something wrong about me I get shouted out or ignored. And punished sometime for something that I probably didn't even do. And even if they can tell my bro or sis got something wrong about me the rest of the family still back them up to get me in the wrong. I have cried and cried at night hit myself and put physical pressure on my body because of the stress it gives me. I can't speak to my family about it because I'm not allowed my say in anything, I just get ignored or in trouble. I don't know what to do anymore and I think I am depressed because it hurts and what I'm going through stresses me and it gets really hard to try make myself feel happier and better, I am actually considering killing myself but I know it's not the right thing to do and just hurting myself is fine now. But I need your help now. What do I do for myself in this situation? Because I don't know what I can do myself right now. Help! Thanks
    reply 1 day