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Dear Dish-It, I'm Struggling With My Social Life

Dear Dish-It,

My name is Misha and I'm a talented, poetic, musical, anti-cool, individualistic hard rocker who should have been a teen in the 70s. I'm in the 8th grade and am struggling with my social life. People I thought were my friends before this year have suddenly taken up a liking of making fun of me just for my reaction, especially since a new jerk, err, kid showed up. I used to have longer hair and people were always pressuring me to cut it, so I go and get it styled and they say it looks even stupider than before! I have said some really stupid things to them before that they use as blackmail, but these people in my school do not understand my social predicament. I had two best friends and they both moved away two years in a row - one after the other. I became really isolated and seemed to play video games all the time. After last year at summer camp, I became a rock and roll junkie and people were mad at that too. Even worse, one of my good friends is still hanging with those jerks I mentioned before. I have never had a girlfriend and to top that off, I have no idea who to ask to my school dance... I need some social help... What should I do?
PS. One of those guys at school is saying that I'm not an individual person and the music I write is terrible - yet he can't tell a note from a bottle of toothpaste!
Hardrockguitar


Dear Hardrockguitar,

Welcome to high school - a place where the people you thought were your friends a year ago probably won't give you the time of day and kids you never would have imagined talking to will become your life-long pals. Adjusting to life after elementary school is rarely easy for anyone - especially though for those of us who are a bit "different." You march to the beat of your own hard-rockin' drum while your classmates groove to their mainstream radio stations. And because of these differences in personality, there are bound to be clashes. It sounds like you are pretty comfortable in your own skin and know who you are. Don't let some former friends make you feel like you need to change in order to be cool enough to hang out with them. If they aren't willing to accept you for you, then they clearly aren't worthy of your friendship.


It is tough to find real, genuine friends, but as long as you stay true to yourself, other people who share your interests will recognize your confidence and will want to be around you. As for having a girlfriend - or even just getting a date to the dance - those things will happen for you when the time is right. If you're interested in a particular girl, just ask her to go with you. If she says no, don't let that discourage you from trying again with someone else in the future. Your social woes are not going to disappear over night, but if you just keep being you, and do your best to ignore the jerks that are just trying to bring you down, things will fall into place for you soon enough! Good Luck.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    SmartSunnyShadow
    I feel like that too. My best friend will always hang out with her 'new friends' that I have a really bad opinion about. My friend will treat me rudely all the time and sometimes make fun of me with her friends. But, when I needed her the most in my life, she was there for me, and I told her how I felt. She says that she just wants to hang out with more people and apologized, people can be a little teasy at times.  Also, after seeing each other for a long time, people make new friends and start hanging out with them more, it doesn't mean that she doesn't like you.  This may be different for you, but just tell her about it, she will have to know you feelings at one point.  Hope I helped you. 
    reply about 2 hours
    country_girl19
    country_girl19 posted in Friends:
    Nothing happened between us. I just feel like I'm not important to her.
    reply about 3 hours
    drowning
    drowning posted in Friends:
    Did something happen between you two in the past? If so, I feel like she might have some unresolved issues with you that you need to discuss with her. And, time doesn't always mean a lot. I've gotten closer to someone before compared to someone whom I had known for 8 years.
    reply about 22 hours
    country_girl19
    country_girl19 posted in Friends:
    Dear Dish-it,                          Me and my friend just started talking again, and it seems like she regrets it. She'll leave me for the people she has only known for a couple of months, when I've been friends with her for a year. Also, she gets annoyed with me, and I don't know what to do.
    reply about 22 hours
    drowning
    drowning posted in Family Issues:
    I'll be honest, I don't think that it's very fair that you're placing so much blame on your mother. Cancer is very hard to heal in any animal or person. She may of been able to help one spot, but that doesn't mean that she was going to be able to heal the rest. There's a slim chance that they could of made it through, but it's probably for the best that she put him down. Cancer is a painful thing to go through for dogs and humans alike. It would of been worse to push it. As for the depression, I understand where you're coming from with it. It's a difficult thing to go through and it makes things hard to do. I've struggled with things in the past and sometimes still do, so take my word on this: Eat. What. You. Can. Don't starve yourself. Don't binge. Don't do anything. Keep eating. Your health matters too. You need to find things to do, like hobbies (drawing, reading, writing, ect.) and spend time with friends when you can. At least talk to your friends, don't push them away. They're there for you, even when they might not know how to be. Don't be ashamed to cry, it's perfectly fine too. It's a better alternative of getting things out than a lot of things you could be doing. Do not, under any circumstances, start cutting. Take it from someone who's dealt with it on a personal level in several ways, do not start it. It is not something you "won't get addicted too" and it will not be a "one time thing." Do not try it. Do not start it. Do not try to find "softer" alternatives to cutting. Self-harm is not a fixer, it does not help anything. It isn't something to be ashamed of. It's a personal issue along with mental illness. But it is a very big deal. "And to go and kill him like that instead of getting him help?" There isn't always a place to help. Sometimes it won't do the things we wish it would.
    reply 1 day