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Dear Dish-It : Boyfriend Problems

Dish-it gets so many questions, she doesn’t always have time to answer them all right away! Here are some quickie answers for some of the shorter questions she’s received.

I like a boy but he’s got a girlfriend. What do I do? He likes me but he likes her, too! – s8tergirl13_09

Nothing. You can’t go after a guy – no matter how much you like him or he likes you – if he has a girlfriend. Trust me, if you do anything, like ask him to break up with her for you, he’ll eventually blame you for it and you won’t be able to have a relationship with him. Sit back, say nothing and wait to see what happens. As long as he has a girlfriend, you can’t be with him and he can’t be with you.

There’s this guy I really like but he has a girlfriend. How should I tell him – by e-mail – that I like him? I don’t want his girlfriend to find out, but I think he already knows I like him but hasn’t said anything. – cuty_me

Just like my advice to the user above, you can’t and shouldn’t do anything about this situation. In fact, if you can’t just be friends with this guy you need to stop e-mailing and/or communicating with him altogether. It’s not fair to his girlfriend, it’s not fair to him and it’s not fair to you. Plus, if he knows you like him and he hasn’t said anything, that means he doesn’t want to bring the issue out into the open for whatever reason. You need to respect that and keep your distance from guys who have girlfriends in the future!

I liked this boy and he asked me out. I said no but I think I made a mistake. What do I do? – Almisha123

This one’s easy. Ask him out yourself! It’s your turn to make a move anyway – he already tried! But be prepared for him to say no. After all, you turned him down first and he may be feeling bad about it.

I’m having boyfriend problems. He won’t call or text me in homeroom, he never comes over and he didn’t come to my parties. We’ve been dating for three years – what should I do? – dogs4ever532

Have these problems just started happening? Did he used to do all those things you say he doesn’t do now? Your options are to talk to him about it or to let him go. Remember, it’s impossible to make anyone change for you – no matter how many talks you have with them. Change happens when you want to change – not when someone tells you to. So it may just be that your relationship is coming to an end, which isn’t the end of the world. All it means is that you now have a chance to go out and find someone who will do all the things you say you want or expect a boyfriend to do for you.

I have a crush on this boy and I don’t know if he knows. What should I do? – im_just_me_09

You have two options: you can tell him how you feel or you can sit back and wait to see what happens. There isn’t a right or wrong here. Do what you feel more comfortable with. I really believe that if it’s meant to be it will happen, so you don’t really need to do anything but have some patience. Or read Read Dish-It’s article on How To Ask Someone Out.

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Who's Harder to Deal With - Boys or Girls?

  • Boys are way harder to deal with.
  • Girls are impossible to figure out.
  • Boys and girls are equally hard to deal with.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

rainbowpoptart
Goodness... I see where your mother is coming from: if you eat too much, no matter how healthy the food is, and don't work off the calories, you're going to gain weight. But she's being very obsessive and dramatic about it. There is nothing wrong with eating pizza or a cookie every now and then, and there's nothing wrong with relaxing from time to time either. As long as you aren't constantly eating junk and not burning the calories, then you do not have a problem. Eating unhealthy things every now and then does not make you fat. EATING every now and then does not make you fat. Try explaining this to her, calmly and patiently. Tell her that you don't want to be forced to do all of this exercising - being forced to exercise makes it a lot less interesting. Do not take "This is for your own good" for an answer; if you do not want to do it, it is NOT for your good. (This, of course, would be a different story if you were actually fat.) ALSO tell her that exercising too much and not satiating your cravings is JUST AS UNHEALTHY AS BEING FAT IS. If you were to not eat healthful meals and not snack every now and then, no matter how healthy or unhealthy the food is, plus exercise so frequently, you would not be healthy.  Eating is good for you, even if the food isn't. Eating too little and eating too much is not healthy. Exercise is good for you. Not exercising enough and exercising too much is not good for you. If you talking to her doesn't help, try telling another adult how you feel, and maybe they can help get it through to her. Regardless of what happens, take care of yourself. Moderate how much you eat, but don't limit yourself to less than you feel you need. Exercise, but don't do something you don't want to; working out should be fun. Good luck with everything. I'm really sorry that she makes you feel so badly about this.
reply about 23 hours
jake495
jake495 posted in Family Issues:
Make sure she knows its your body not hers In a respectful way of course
reply about 24 hours
ThePaleWalker636
I'm perfectly happy with myself. I'm around 5'6" and somewhere between 140-150 pounds, and I don't feel fat. But my mom is constantly telling me that I am, or, at least, that I'm going to be. She forces me to go to exercise classes because I don't like many sports, tries making me go on diets, but I don't want to. She tells me that if I continue the way I am, having an extra cookie once in a while and only eating cereal for breakfast, that I'll end up fat, and she makes sure to emphasize how horrible that is for a person to live with. She rolls her eyes and sighs whenever she sees me getting a snack, and just in general makes me feel awful for eating the things I like and for relaxing. I've told her that I don't want to do these things and that she makes me feel bad when she says things like that, but she swears it's for my own good and that I should never want to be fat, that it ruins people's lives. How should I deal with this?
reply 1 day
drowning
drowning posted in Friends:
"NS12" wrote: I meet this guy at a festival and we have been talking for the whole week and my mum has noticed I keep texting someone and I know I need to tell her but I don t know how I am going to tell her, I doubt she ll get angry or anything but he lives about 4/5 hours away from me. I know I need to tell her as I don t like keeping secrets from her. I know this was a bit ago, but I truly hope that you were able to be open with your mother. If you feel as if they won't get mad at you, then chances are that your guardian will not. Honesty is the best policy, and if you feel guilt keeping a secret, then it is one you probably shouldn't be keeping.
reply 2 days
drowning
I agree with @rainbowpoptart. You really shouldn't worry about relationships that much given your age. I promise, they're better things to worry about than boys and more secure romances occur later on in life anyways. But, given the situation, you shouldn't worry about either. The boy is unfaithful and so is your friend. If your best friend really valued your friendship, she would not have put it in a position that could end it. Don't waste your time on those who will not put you first just as you do for them; better people will come into your life and they are the ones who you should really worry about.
reply 2 days