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Dear Dish-It: Am I Too Young To Date?

Dish-It gets this question all the time – am I too young to date? Another common query is: my parents won’t let me date – what should I do? Here’s my advice for all those out there wondering about age, parents and dating.


Too Young To Date?

Lots of kids write in to Dish-It saying they’re really frustrated and upset because their mom, dad or both say they’re too young to date. What most kids don’t realize, though, is that parents set these kinds of rules for them because they love their kids a lot.


Dating, relationships, sex, love … when you really think hard about these things, you start to realize how complex they are. It isn’t easy at all to navigate the dating scene. Sure, there’s the thrill and excitement of having your crush ask you to go see a movie, and there are those butterflies in your tummy the first time he grabs your hand and kisses you, but are you really old and wise and MATURE enough to handle the many other responsibilities and decisions and choices and problems that come with having a boyfriend or girlfriend?


Dating

Going on a date often means being alone with another person. Are you old enough to get to places like the movies or the mall without asking for a ride from your parents or another adult who has a car? If not, it’s kind of strange to think you’re old enough to date. Would you really want your mom or dad tagging along when you go see a movie or get something to eat with your crush? Probably not. Best to wait until you’re a bit older and more independent.


Love

Love sounds wonderful but, like everything else in life, it’s got its ups and downs. Falling in love means there’s always the possibility of falling out of love – in other words, getting tired of the other person or wanting to get away from them or having your heart broken by them. It may not seem like a big deal if it’s never happened to you but, trust me, there are a lot of complicated problems and difficult emotions to deal with when love goes wrong or ends. You may still be too young to deal with these things in a mature, logical way, and that may be why your parents won’t let you start dating until you’re a bit older.


Sex

This is probably the biggest issue for parents when it comes to trying to decide when to let their kids start dating. Sex is a very important, complex subject – sometimes when you’re anger it’s not even something you know about, understand, or feel comfortable discussing with your mom and dad. Until you know about and understand all the risks and issues involved with making the big decisions about sex, you’re definitely too young to date – even if you don’t think dating has anything to do with sex. It may and it may not, but you need to know ALL the facts about dating, love and sex before you can go into any one of them making the best possible choices and decisions for yourself.


There’s Hope

Now that you know your parents are only saying you’re too young to date because they love and care about you and they want you to have the best and happiest life possible, maybe you’re more willing to wait a few short years to start dating. If you’re still not convinced and think your mom and dad should let you date no matter how young you are, why not try talking to them about it? Maybe if you approach them in a calm, mature, grown-up way (that means no yelling, screaming or crying), they’ll tell you their reasons for not letting you date yet. And if you come to the table with your own, written-out list of reasons why you’re old enough, mature enough, responsible enough and ready to start dating right now, they may see things from your perspective and change their mind.


If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.


More Great Advice:

  • What’s The Point Of Dating?
  • My Cheating Ex Is Dating My BFF
  • Desperate For A Boyfriend
  • The Dos & Don’ts Of Dating
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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    rainbowpoptart
    Yes, purely for the fact that you should not "hate" your sister (or anyone, for that matter).  I'm guessing by "get in trouble for her", you mean she does something wrong and the blame is all put on you? Yeah, little siblings tend to do that a lot. My brother did for the longest time, until my parents found out how much a liar he is. She, hopefully, will grow out of this eventually. Either that, or your parent[s]/guardian[s] will eventually see through her. You lose your friends to her? By this do you mean your friends want to hang out with her and they want you to tag along and you don't? Or do you mean your friends chose your sister over you? If it's the latter, then perhaps you shouldn't have ever referred to those people as friends. You'll find friends who'll prefer you over your sister, I'm sure of it. The only thing I can tell you to do is try to get along with your sister. Every group of siblings has their cats and dogs moment in life, but they grow out of it (most of the time; there are, of course, circumstances where it doesn't work out that way). Please be grateful for your sister, even if you two fight a lot. You never know how much you need something until it's gone.
    reply about 10 hours
    liddielover
    i hate my little sister because i get introuble for her and lose my friends to her.is that wrong?
    reply about 11 hours
    skylar245
    skylar245 posted in Friends:
    "rainbowpoptart" wrote: "skylar245" wrote: Teacher said to wait for the Bus Driver and the counselor, she just talks to me and doesn't tell The Princible Then maybe try telling the principal yourself, and you should also report that the driver, teacher, and counselor haven't done anything to help you. If that fails, tell another trusted adult, like your mother. I'm sure someone you're close to would do their best to get justice. This is a major problem and it's a shame no one's done anything to help. ​No one listens to me anyway but my friends
    reply 2 days
    rainbowpoptart
    rainbowpoptart posted in Friends:
    "skylar245" wrote:Teacher said to wait for the Bus Driver and the counselor, she just talks to me and doesn't tell The Princible Then maybe try telling the principal yourself, and you should also report that the driver, teacher, and counselor haven't done anything to help you. If that fails, tell another trusted adult, like your mother. I'm sure someone you're close to would do their best to get justice. This is a major problem and it's a shame no one's done anything to help.
    reply 2 days
    skylar245
    skylar245 posted in Friends:
    "rainbowpoptart" wrote: "skylar245" wrote: My bus driver does NOTHING about it EVEN IF HE SEE'S IT! he only wrote the two girls up but not the girl that hit me Then report them to a teacher or the school counselor. Behaviour like that is not acceptable in the slightest. ​Teacher said to wait for the Bus Driver and the counselor, she just talks to me and doesn't tell The Princible
    reply 2 days