Kw-logo-holiday

Dish-It: How Do You Know You’re In Love?

Love
Am I In Love?

Dear Dish-It,


How do you know if and when you’re in love?


Grace


Dear Grace,


Love is one of those things that no one really understand, not even adults. The good news is you don't really need to understand love. In fact, the only thing you really need to know about it is this: Love never really does make sense, so there’s no point trying to come up with any final or logical answers about it. It’s one of those sit back and enjoy the ride kinda things.


At the same time, though, you're going to feel things and experience things that you must act upon or choose not to act upon. Your parents and other adults have all probably told you that you should wait until you're in love before you consider serious relationships, before you consider marriage and before you consider sex.


So How Do You Know You're In Love?

It's a hard question to answer. I suppose that I could tell you that you just know. That's probably what other adults will tell you: you'll just ... know. But you know what? Sometimes that's not true. And then what happens if you're feeling the same feelings for more than one person? How can you tell which one is love?


These aren't easy questions and there's not any easy answers either. Let's try to answer them though, best as they can be answered.


Lust Vs. Love

Ah, the rush of attraction. When you see him at the locker and he winks at you, you get goosebumps, you feel the flip flop in your stomach. It's easy to walk around during the day in a daze, smiling like a silly fool, forgetting to bring your homework home and jumping every time your phone rings.


This, however, is not love. This is lust, attraction, infatuation, puppy-love. Eventually, the big rush of it fades, and that's when you can ask yourself, "Do I still feel something special for this person?"


Trust

Can you trust this guy with your secrets? Are you willing to tell him about your childhood, even the embarrassing, goofy stuff and know he won't tell everyone else? If he's going to a party with a group of people and you're not with him, do you know in your heart he won't dance with or make out with another girl?


Trust is important in a relationship, even a teen relationship. If you don't feel you can trust the one you are infatuated with, it probably isn't quite to that "being in love" stage yet.


Being Yourself

If you're having to pretend to be something or someone you are not, putting on a front or an image that is false, it won't matter how much you might feel for the other person, you'll never know if they love you for you. Do you think they are being genuine with you? If you don't feel like you can be yourself, then you're probably not truly in love.


Communication

Is your boyfriend someone you feel comfortable talking to about things that interest you both? If you feel like you're the one doing all the talking, or you feel like they are doing nothing but talking about themselves, then the communication is lacking in your relationship. You can't get down to true love without quality a mutual communication.


Secure Vs. Jealous

Does your boyfriend have to be constantly by your side or does he accuse you of cheating on him frequently? Does he call you constantly and always ask you where you've been and what you've been doing, and who you've been doing it with? Do the two of you have things you do together as well as things you're comfortable doing by yourself too?


Real love is secure in the relationship and it comes back to the trust issues. You shouldn't have to spend every waking moment together when it's real love.


How Do You Feel?

Do you feel like you're in love? I'm not talking about being crazy, head over heels in love, but more of a peaceful, content and happy feeling of comfort and understanding and shared friendship and communication. When it comes down to it, you will feel when you're in love long before you probably know you’re in love.


Keep in mind that very few teen relationships last forever and ever amen. While some people do grow up and marry their childhood sweethearts, it's very likely that somewhere along the line, you're going to break up, fall in love, and break up and fall in love again. That doesn't mean you can enjoy yourself and the time you spend together, and treasure the love and feelings you have in the moment.


If you trust your heart and temper it with your head, being a teenager can be fun and falling in love and sharing that won't be a painful or awkward experience.


Related Stories:

  • Top 10 Love Songs Of 2010
  • Dear Dish-It: Love Quickies 10
  • Dear Dish-It: Love Quickies 9
  • Dear Dish-It: I LOVE Him!
  • >

    readers voted!

    Comments

    -Km1

    -Km1 wrote:

    Ppl really don't know when their in love bc you can say ur in love , but that same person leaves u when ur sick for another female, most guys go for hos, I like a real guy who wants a real relationship
    commented: Sat Oct 18, 2014

    gunkpunk22

    gunkpunk22 wrote:

    just wait youll find someone
    commented: Mon Aug 18, 2014

    gunkpunk22

    gunkpunk22 wrote:

    lol divadancer02 is right just find the right one trust me it didnt take long for me
    commented: Mon Aug 18, 2014

    there are 309 more comments

    Please login or register to add comments


    like this article?
    Sign up now to get more just like it!

    latest videos

    Love-poll

    Have You Ever Been in Love?

    • Yes.
    • No, not yet.
    • I thought so, but it didn't work out.
    • Yes - I totally love Zac Efron (and Chris Brown and Justin Timberlake... you get the picture).

    related stories

    All of a sudden, that goofy kid you played tag with has turned into a hottie. It's confusing. You...

    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    Team Audi #46
    Team Audi #46 posted in Friends:
    Kid at my school nicknamed "Blueberry". Hated by all the Seniors at the school and the teachers can hardly stand him. If I were to go through everything he's done, I'd be writing a short story. Let's just say, he should have gotten expelled Freshman year. And all the years after that.
    reply about 7 hours
    PrincessAmelia
    PrincessAmelia posted in Friends:
    Three mean girls at school...I JUST DON'T LIKE THEM. They bunk the classes and never get scolded and they act(ed) very mean to me and  one of my 3 bffs.  They are just OVER SMART and ever they sometimes wish to talk above the teacher. Then comes the Boys. There are 3 boys you know, who are a part of the gang of these mean girls. These boys are also so mean. I ask you, am I untouchable? Whenever I go past their bags, they say, 'hey what are you doing' or something like that... At least they are better in front of the teachers...unlike *SOME* people I could mention. But in spite of all these I really do like them all as friends and I am a pretty good forgetter, so I soon forget whatever they said to me. So, I think there is no one I HATE, practically. 
    reply about 7 hours
    youngluni4ever
    youngluni4ever posted in Friends:
    Ok so in my highschool there is only one pure ginger. His name is Sean.... I believe that's how you spell his name. Will this ginger is impossible to deal with. When I'm talking to my friends he butts In thinking he's part of the conversation, but he isn't. So when I decides to try and butt in, I automatically scold him. And I know it seems mean but when someone annoys you to the limit you sort of go Insane ya know? So everytime he gets near me I walk away before he can even open his mouth to talk. I know y'all probably think he isn't bad, but he said himself that he was going to grow up to be a killer and ######. He said it himself and not in a sarcastic tone. Nobody in my school can deal with him. The teachers can't either. But I want to know, do any of you have someone you truly dislike at school?
    reply about 7 hours
    jordand08
    jordand08 posted in Friends:
    "iamastar" wrote:i like this guy called brandon rumball he's really cute we are total opposites he's tall and i am short he is smart i am not so smart he is the best swimmer and i am the second worst and i really like  him i trying to forget about him but he's just poping back in my head i neeed help First off, for his safety don't tell his last name. And opposites attract. Sometimes. :p Maybe you get get him to help you become a better swimmer, even though here, it's cold.  
    reply about 8 hours
    snowflake_icy_dragon
    Hey well I think u are so right about the hair thing.
    reply about 14 hours

    play online games

    Hour-of-code-tumb

    Codey the troll is lost! Help him avoid obstacles and get back into the computer...

    Candy-quest-feature

    Your troll is lost! Help it avoid obstacles and get back into the computer.

    Fo...

    Dragon-dash

    Your dragon must return to guard the treasure! Help it gather lost coins and avo...

    _thumb_100x100

    Shoot blobs with different properties to merge yellow blobs. Your blobs can be r...

    1005_cc_kidz_100x100_vlh

    Candy's got her candies into a terrible mess, can you help her to sort them out?

    Candy-100

    A great online version of the famous Candy Crush. This is the best game launched...

    _thumb_100x100

    Bloons 2 is here! A worthy and awesome sequel at last to our original Bloons gam...

    Frostbox_100x100

    Explore the world or hang out with friends in your own condo. Get a unique look,...