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Dear Dish-It: I LOVE Him!

Dear Dish-It,


I have a crush on a boy in school and I REALLY need to tell him that I love him because there is a party that I want him to be my date for. What do I do?


MGA


Dear MGA,


First of all, don’t tell him you LOVE him. I know what you think you are feeling right now is love, but it’s not. Love takes a long time – sometimes years – to really form. The most important thing about love is it’s only real when the other person loves you back. So don’t tell him you love him – it is a recipe for disaster.


You need to understand that guys work and think and feel differently than girls do. Girls are very emotional creatures. We like to talk about our feelings and we like to listen to other people talk about their feelings. We love it when people we care about tell us how they feel about us. Guys are quite the opposite, in most cases.


Of course guys have emotions, but they do not need to express them verbally as much as we girls do. In fact, talking about feelings with anyone can be very hard for some guys to do. So instead of being all intense and dropping the “L” bomb on your crush (which will most likely scare him off), you need to act cool, calm and casual and sort of try to approach this dilemma as if you were a guy, too.


What I mean by that is if a guy wants to ask a girl to be his date to a party, it may make him nervous to do so but once he decides to go ahead and do it the way he does it is very casually. He doesn’t admit all his feelings for her in one go. He may even pretend that he just wants to go with a friend to make the situation as easy and stress-free as possible.


If you really like this guy and you’re not willing to wait and see if he will ask you out first (which will happen if he likes you), then I suppose the best thing to do is to ask him (and only him – not his friends, not through your friends, but directly from your mouth to his ear) to go to the party with you. Do it calmly, and don’t make a big deal out of it.


The one thing you need to be prepared for if you decide to do this, though, is the fact he might say “no.” So please remember, there are plenty of fish in the sea. You are young and this is not the last boy you’ll crush on. Also, you’ll go on many other dates to many other parties with many other boys before you find your true love, so don’t take his rejection badly if it happens. You’re still a great girl, and it’s really his loss.


If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.


More Dish-It Advice:

  • My Parents Made Us Break Up
  • How Do I Get Over Being Cheated On?
  • How Do I Ask?
  • Am I In Love?
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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    Fun_125
    I personally think that when you ARE ready then go for it! As long as the person you like isn't a jerk to anyone or you go for it! Just don't get too serious. It's middle school. Good luck!
    reply about 2 hours
    Error44
    "Lulu335" wrote:I live in a military family, which means we have to move A LOT. I'm halfway through 6th grade, and I'm really stressed out. The reason is because I have a guy who really likes me, and we liked each other back in the 5th grade, and he's even got me presents and everything, but now I'm starting to doubt whether I still like him or not. And he is a great guy; he's silly, funny, kind- but I just don't know if he's the right guy for me. Plus there's a friend of mine who I know likes me as more than a friend, and he's a great guy, too. I really need advise!!I know, it is too late but I think you should not go for a deeper relationship, don't make it hard for yourself and try to be his just friend because you are so young .
    reply about 5 hours
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    "queenslay173" wrote:I was at school when I noticed people started to tell me this boy liked me and I thought it was cool because I'm used to that type of stuff then we started to dated in October we broke up right before christmas and it was so strange. we got back together in the beginning of January and we broke up again on the 4 my friends are really mad at me and he seemed really upset I like him but I just don't want to be with him anymore what should I do ?- confused lover Tell him your reasons and make it clear for both of you
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