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Dear Dish-It: I LOVE Him!

Dear Dish-It,


I have a crush on a boy in school and I REALLY need to tell him that I love him because there is a party that I want him to be my date for. What do I do?


MGA


Dear MGA,


First of all, don’t tell him you LOVE him. I know what you think you are feeling right now is love, but it’s not. Love takes a long time – sometimes years – to really form. The most important thing about love is it’s only real when the other person loves you back. So don’t tell him you love him – it is a recipe for disaster.


You need to understand that guys work and think and feel differently than girls do. Girls are very emotional creatures. We like to talk about our feelings and we like to listen to other people talk about their feelings. We love it when people we care about tell us how they feel about us. Guys are quite the opposite, in most cases.


Of course guys have emotions, but they do not need to express them verbally as much as we girls do. In fact, talking about feelings with anyone can be very hard for some guys to do. So instead of being all intense and dropping the “L” bomb on your crush (which will most likely scare him off), you need to act cool, calm and casual and sort of try to approach this dilemma as if you were a guy, too.


What I mean by that is if a guy wants to ask a girl to be his date to a party, it may make him nervous to do so but once he decides to go ahead and do it the way he does it is very casually. He doesn’t admit all his feelings for her in one go. He may even pretend that he just wants to go with a friend to make the situation as easy and stress-free as possible.


If you really like this guy and you’re not willing to wait and see if he will ask you out first (which will happen if he likes you), then I suppose the best thing to do is to ask him (and only him – not his friends, not through your friends, but directly from your mouth to his ear) to go to the party with you. Do it calmly, and don’t make a big deal out of it.


The one thing you need to be prepared for if you decide to do this, though, is the fact he might say “no.” So please remember, there are plenty of fish in the sea. You are young and this is not the last boy you’ll crush on. Also, you’ll go on many other dates to many other parties with many other boys before you find your true love, so don’t take his rejection badly if it happens. You’re still a great girl, and it’s really his loss.


If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.


More Dish-It Advice:

  • My Parents Made Us Break Up
  • How Do I Get Over Being Cheated On?
  • How Do I Ask?
  • Am I In Love?
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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    Abbergrl
    Well I strongly agree with you all. It's like, wow I never knew so many people had this problem!
    reply about 9 hours
    Abbergrl
    Abbergrl posted in Friends:
    A perfect friend is one who respects your feelings and doesn't make fun of them but helps you feel better, who can drive you only slightly insane, and who will try to save you from embarrassing situations by making you see the funny side. :) :D
    reply about 9 hours
    Delisco
    Delisco posted in Friends:
    A perfect friend is one who is always there for you not minding how many times you chase them away. They are people who you can rely on solely because they have proved to be those you can trust.  They are also those you can call partners in crime. They are not judgemental . They are those who can die for you if the need arise. 
    reply about 11 hours
    drowning
    "SatanslilDemon" wrote: Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice??? It's really nice that your mother supports it, that always helps!! I'm glad that your family enjoys his company as well. Being 16 while he's 20 is alright. It's a slight odd age gap. But, I think as long as you both are ready, it's alright. Make sure you're mature and safe with your choices though. Personally, I think you should wait until you're closer to at least, 17. But, as long as you two are smart about what you're doing, it should be alright when it come around to it.
    reply 4 days
    fitta
    "Shygirl15" wrote:I really like this boy in my second period class but i dont know how to tell him because he knows that im transgender do whatever makes you feel comfortable or just wing it and tell him and if he tells you something because you're trans forget about him! He doesn't deserve you. But it's totally okay if you want to play it safe and not go up to him. You do you. :3 
    reply 4 days