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Dish-It: 17 & Never Been Kissed

Dear Dish-It,

So I need advice. I'm almost 17 and never been kissed. I have plenty of guy friends and I'm always myself around them. When I like a guy, I flirt with him. I dress well, I’m not unfortunate-looking, I don't feel like I come off too strong at all. It just seems like every time I like a guy, he NEVER EVER likes me back. Rejection after rejection. I just can't take it anymore. I want someone to treat me right. I'm a chill girl, I play guitar, write music, guys dig girls like that, right? I just feel like I'm always my guy friends’ "music buddy" *sigh* I just want to know what’s wrong with me. All this rejection I guess is just hard to swallow sometimes …


Dear Koko,

I think deep down you know there’s nothing wrong with you at all. You just feel tired and anxious because something you want very badly doesn’t seem to be happening at the speed with which you want it to occur. Have you ever heard the saying, patience is a virtue? That means good things always come to those who have the patience to wait for them. I know this is the kind of advice you probably feel isn’t very useful but in any case, wait is just what you’re going to have to do.

In fact, I personally was about 16-and-a-half-or-so, not much younger than 17, when I got my very first kiss. I don’t recall being as anxious about it as you seem to be, but things may have been different back when I was in high school, or maybe I went to a school or was surrounded by friends that didn’t really place very much importance or focus on girl/boy relationships, dating or kissing. However, I do remember wondering if any guy I liked would ever like me back, and if I ever would get a first kiss, a first date, a first relationship …

The truth is, EVERYONE gets a first first kiss – if that statement can somehow reassure you, so you can stop focusing so much on getting that kiss and start focusing on doing stuff you love, hanging out with your friends and pursuing the guys you have crushes on in a normal, healthy way, I think you’ll find yourself in a much better place.

Trust me. A guy WILL like you back. You WILL eventually go on a date and have your first boyfriend. You will most likely go on to get married and have a family of your own, too. Most everyone does – everyone who wants those things, that is. And it doesn’t matter who you are or what kind of stuff you’re into or what you look like – there’s someone for everyone and if you just focus on being the best YOU that you can possibly be, some lucky guy is sure to notice and give you a great first kiss!

So STOP WORRYING! It’ll happen. There’s no sense in trying to rush life along – let each experience come to you in its own good time and you’ll see, your life, and all the experiences you’d like to have in it, will turn it exactly the way it was meant to!

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Friends grow apart as we grow up and change at different rates. It's fine to stop being friends, but it doesn't have to be in a mean way. The best thing to do is talk to her (nicely). You don't have to tell her she's being childish or you feel as if you've matured more. That would be terrible. Talk about things you guys like to do in common or make plans to try new things together. Or don't mention it at all, but don't just begin ignoring her. Eventually the friendship will fade the less time you spend together. 
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You should be nice to her. If you have to break the news gently don't make her feel bad just talk to her about and see what she says  
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