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Dear Dish-It: Am I Too Young To Date?

Dear Dish-It,

Am I too young to date?

Steph

Dear Steph,

The answer depends a lot on what you mean by "dating." While crushes start as early as elementary school, in middle school kids start talking about "going out" or "going together" or “dating.” Usually, what they mean is that two people let it be known that they like each other. They might write notes to each other or talk on the phone or text message each other.

It's possible this couple could see each other at an event, such as a dance, a party, or a basketball game. But most kids won't "go out" on a date, just the two of them, and if they do it's likely their parents will want to come along. The bottom line is most parents think kids should wait until they are older to start dating.

If someone asks you to "go out" or “date” them you might feel happy that someone likes you, but also a little strange. You might wonder what it will mean if you say yes. And what if you want to stop "going out" with this person? These couples usually don't last long and that's perfectly OK. The best advice is to go slowly because it's easy for kids to get their feelings hurt.

It's a good idea to talk with your mom or dad, too. They might not want you to "go out" or “date” with anyone yet, even if you're not really going out anywhere. Or, if they're OK with it, they might have certain rules they want you to follow, like about when and if you can get phone calls from this person. Some kids make the mistake of calling the person they like a zillion times a day. Oh no, don't be a constant caller!

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24 Comments

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Here’s Dish-It's advice for all those out there wondering about age, parents and dating.
Sindy poll

What's Your Dating Strategy?

  • I'll date anyone who asks me.
  • I ask everyone out, so I've got my pick of who I date.
  • I'm very picky and will only say yes to people I really like.
  • I just don't date.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

drowning
drowning posted in Style:
  "imtcutiie" wrote: DONT DO IT JUST PLEASE #### #### #### ......... CHANGING EYE COLOR  JUST WRONG   Changing eye color isn't wrong. :^) But, you can't simply change it with "spells" or videos. To change your eye color, you will need to either wear contacts during the day to appear that you have different colored eyes than you truly have, or medically having a doctor perform surgical iris correction.
reply about 4 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
I hope you texted back if you felt that it would be the right thing to do for yourself. I did not have a good childhood due to my birthmother and father. But, in recent time, I have come to enjoy talking to my birthfather and completely cannot stand my birthmother or her new husband anymore. I plan to actually meet him for the first time in 16 years if I can join my fiancé's family vacation.  Point of the matter, do what you feel is right. If you want to talk to him; talk to him. If you don't, don't reply if you don't feel comfortable too. It is purely your choice who you allow in your life, even when it comes down to blood and family.
reply about 4 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
It isn't pathetic in the slightest to seek help. I don't think it is right for your mother and siblings to completely disown you over your choice of living arrangements. If they have pushed you away, remember that it is not your fault and it is purely theirs. You made a choice that you felt would benefit you, and judging from their behavior, it was a good choice. As for your father, I don't fight with my own very much, but when I do it tends to be pretty bad. My mother on the other hand, I fight with constantly so I understand where you're coming from. You shouldn't have to do anything. From the sound of it, it seems more like a personal issue going on with himself, especially a sense of shame or regret with his previous exes so he uses you as an outlet because you're the closest thing he has.  I say find an outlet, a healthy one. Sometimes it is best to let them ramble on until they wear themselves out, but remember that self-defense and "talking back" is not always a bad thing just because they are your guardian. It is important to take a stand for yourself. Be respectful, don't sink to their level.
reply about 5 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
I think it is very important to find a healthy outlet and someone to talk to whether it's a doctor, friend, family member, ect. You can even find a journal to write in, if it will help you. I promise you, it isn't worth it to let families opinions and views affect you. I let the same thing happen to me and I still struggle over things that I wish I didn't.
reply about 5 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Friends:
Personally, given your age, the idea of a crush is a bit cute, but you're a little young for anything serious. I would recommend waiting until you truly know what you're doing. (And, believe me, you may not see it now, but you will when you're older.) But, if you really do want to find out, you need to remember that boys and girls both feel things. Boys aren't aliens, they aren't emotionless, and they aren't always just  dumbieheads.  You'll find it funny later on in life from how nervous you had gotten over a crush So honestly, just be straight forward. If you need a topic starter to bring it up, joke about old rumors that used to spread about you both.
reply about 5 hours