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Dear Dish-It: My Boyfriend Wants To Kiss

Dear Dish-It,

My boyfriend asked me when we were going to kiss. We are only in the 5th grade. What should I tell him?

Confused


First KissFirst Kiss

Dear Confused,

If you're not ready to take your relationship to a more physical level, don't. The right guy will understand if all you can handle right now is flirty smiles and holding hands.

Also, an important thing is not to be confused by what you read in books or see in movies. Dating or having a boyfriend doesn't mean that you HAVE to kiss. Rather, dating is a chance to get to know the guy you're going out with. Once you know each other better, you may decide you don't want to have a romantic or physical relationship with him after all. And most important of all is to remember that when it comes to physical things like kissing, you're in charge. You don't have to do anything that doesn't feel right for you.

Here are some more good tips for those who have Never Been Kissed and don't feel quite ready for it, yet:

  • Whether it's French kissing, making out or going to first base, don't let yourself be rushed into anything. Do only what you're sure you really want to do. After all, you're only in Grade 5. You've got plenty of time ahead of you - wait until you're sure.
  • Ask yourself how you feel about your boyfriend. Is he someone you trust? Will he start rumors or gossip about you? Are you considering kissing him because you really care about him or because you're curious to try it?
  • Are you just trying to prove you're grown up or to become more popular?
  • Don't let yourself fall for lines like, "If you really liked me, you'd make out with me," or "Everyone else is doing it." If your boyfriend is handing you one of these lines, turn it around and tell him, "If you really cared about ME, you wouldn't pressure me into doing anything I don't want to do."

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277 Comments

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The Right Time for Your First Kiss?

  • When you are in love with someone.
  • When you're 15.
  • Not until you've finished high school.
  • When you're playing truth or dare.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

SmartSunnyShadow
I have one so annoying sister, that it feels like I have 200 of them, oh my god. She's pounding on the door right now, HELP! 
reply about 7 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
Dad, obviously. I can't even explain what he does to me!
reply about 7 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
Well, if they are your BFFs, they shouldn't be teasing you to make you feel bad. Me, and my BFFs tease each other all the time playfully, but I understand that this is different, and if it's making you feel bad it isn't playful at all.   Maybe your eldest friend is having some trouble with family issues, bad grades, body changes, etc. It's okay to be angry, so maybe you should leave her space for a few days, and see if it turns better. If it isn't, then try to first make her calm down. Then, make her talk to you about why she is so angry and ask if you can try to help. If nothing turns out better, tell her that you feel uncomfortable, and you want her to talk to you.  For your 3rd eldest friend, support her as much as possible, and stand up for her in this terrible situation. If you are all BFFs, then you should all be very close and comfortable around each other, and the fight shouldn't last long. If not, they are not your real friends, and you have to go on without them. I have tons of advice on how to make new friends, so just ask me if you want to know. Your 2nd eldest friend seems to be the main problem.  First of all, tell her to stop, and say how you don't like her bullying you. You must say what she is doing wrong, and how it makes you feel. If she doesn't care, tell her you're serious, and you hate what she is doing to you. If it continues, ignore what trash she is saying, and just simply walk away. Focus on other things that will help make you feel better. Remember, all she is is a person, and it's up to you to act appropriately.  Stay positive, and calm. Focus on other things, and if she continues, tell her that you can all be friends and you miss her. Go get another friend to stand up with you, and tell her that you will report to an adult if she won't stop. She may be your friend, but she deserves it. I told on my BFF when she was mean, so it's all okay now.  If all else fails, get a trusted adult, and hang out with nicer friends. Your other friends will learn from their mistakes. If not, warn them, and give them a sincere kindness note of how you miss being friends. Then, also give one to the bully.
reply about 7 hours
AnnaOfExquizurd
Yeah, @CyclonicBass the best option really is to find a girl with a quirky personality. Become friends with her. Possibly, over time, she'll grow close to you and accept a request to be with you. Hope it goes well!
reply 1 day
drowning
You go out and you find someone who you can be you with. It's not a hard question to find the answer too.
reply 1 day