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Dear Dish-It: I Am Heartbroken

Dear Dish-It,

I had this crush and soon the popular girls found out. Then one of them told him and a week later they started going out. I am so confused. I even had a dream from god that said we should be together. What should I do? I really, really love him and my life just gets worse and worse.

heartbroken


Dear heartbroken,


Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do about the new couple. But the good news is, you CAN do something about yourself! It sounds like you feel pretty down about yourself and your life. This problem is called lack of self-esteem.


When you have low self-esteem, you may not feel very good about yourself, as in the person you are. You may not love yourself - and you may not even like yourself very much. This is a very bad way to feel about the only person in the world that matters, which is YOU.


The other problem with low self-esteem is that it makes other people feel the same way about you. That is, it's hard to attract a partner or a boyfriend who will love you when you don't even love yourself.


My suggestion is you start learning how to like and, eventually, like yourself - before you start hoping to have someone else like and love you back. Confidence (which is the same as self-esteem) is VERY attractive - work on building up your own confidence and the boys will come running to you.


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  • 63 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    hugebear
    hugebear posted in Family Issues:
    You doesnt have to come out to your family until your ready and until they is ready too.  If you blurt it out it could be the shock.  You says that you think your Mums side of the family will be more supportive.  Has you got an Aunty or Uncle what you could discuss this with?  An adult member of your family what is most likely supportive  could probably give the best advises on how to tell your family and when and how and prepares you for how they will react. Good luck mate and takes your time :angel
    reply about 3 hours
    Mrawsomegamer
    I think my mothers side of the family would be fine with it. It's my dad's side I'm most concerned about. My dad says some dreadfully terrible remarks about homosexual people. I think I'm not gunna tell him at all. Ever...  Either way. Thanks for the advice!
    reply about 3 hours
    Kirsteeeeen
    If you don't think that you'll be in a safe situation (for example, your parents try to kick you out, or hurt you physically or emotionally) than you should definitely wait to tell them. I think you'll know when the time is right. We can't tell you how they'll react, but I bet you can sort of figure it out from how they feel and act about these topics.  Remember, you are not obligated to tell anybody at all. It's personal. Wait until you're for sure ready to tell them. And when you do, tell them the way in which it's easiest. Get your point across, offer resources, reassurance, and give them time. 
    reply about 3 hours
    Mrawsomegamer
    Hey guys, so I do kinda have a personal issue, but I need to tell my family about it. Truth is, I'm not even sure how they'll even react. Very few of my friends know, only the ones I trust anyway... I'm gay. Or at least bisexual. I kinda had a thing for girls, but that was a long time ago. I think I'm fully gay. I have a very supportive boyfriend, who loves me with all his heart. But that's not what it's about; it's actually coming out to my family, whom I know some of them are quite homophobic. Homophobia runs in my family. Sorta...  It makes my stomach turn when I think about it. I sometimes look into the mirror, look at myself and think if my conscience suddenly made me decide I was gay, or if I was born with it. Science tells us that we are born that way, due to lack of man chemicals entering a boys brain when in development. I feel like I've chosen it (even though I know deep inside I haven't) to be gay, probably because of my family almost forcing me into getting a girlfriend and such. I come from a Catholic family, to make things even worse. I'm like the only practising person in my family, but somehow I feel that they'll use my Faith against me if I come out.  So, should I just wait until I'm older? How do I know when the time is right? How will they even react? How should I even say it?  Please help!
    reply about 4 hours
    Kirsteeeeen
    Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
    This thread has been moved. Click here to see the new thread.
    reply about 5 hours

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