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Dear Dish-It: I Am Heartbroken

Dear Dish-It,

I had this crush and soon the popular girls found out. Then one of them told him and a week later they started going out. I am so confused. I even had a dream from god that said we should be together. What should I do? I really, really love him and my life just gets worse and worse.

heartbroken


Dear heartbroken,


Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do about the new couple. But the good news is, you CAN do something about yourself! It sounds like you feel pretty down about yourself and your life. This problem is called lack of self-esteem.


When you have low self-esteem, you may not feel very good about yourself, as in the person you are. You may not love yourself - and you may not even like yourself very much. This is a very bad way to feel about the only person in the world that matters, which is YOU.


The other problem with low self-esteem is that it makes other people feel the same way about you. That is, it's hard to attract a partner or a boyfriend who will love you when you don't even love yourself.


My suggestion is you start learning how to like and, eventually, like yourself - before you start hoping to have someone else like and love you back. Confidence (which is the same as self-esteem) is VERY attractive - work on building up your own confidence and the boys will come running to you.


Related Stories:

  • Dear Dish-It: I Have Low Self-Esteem
  • Dear Dish-It: I Have No Self-Esteem
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  • 64 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    bookwormlestrange
    I don't have ADHD, but I know plenty about it. One of my friends has ADHD and Tourette's, and the teachers were always turds about it. Anyway, i think that a good way to deal with ADHD acting up is either changing medication or trying to eat foods or drinks with caffeine. I'm not sure if it works for you, but a lot of people with ADHD have seen significant improvements after putting caffeine in their systems. If your friends are acting like turds, you need better friends. I hope my advice helps.
    reply about 3 hours
    SmartSunnyShadow
    I have one so annoying sister, that it feels like I have 200 of them, oh my god. She's pounding on the door right now, HELP! 
    reply about 15 hours
    SmartSunnyShadow
    Dad, obviously. I can't even explain what he does to me!
    reply about 15 hours
    SmartSunnyShadow
    Well, if they are your BFFs, they shouldn't be teasing you to make you feel bad. Me, and my BFFs tease each other all the time playfully, but I understand that this is different, and if it's making you feel bad it isn't playful at all.   Maybe your eldest friend is having some trouble with family issues, bad grades, body changes, etc. It's okay to be angry, so maybe you should leave her space for a few days, and see if it turns better. If it isn't, then try to first make her calm down. Then, make her talk to you about why she is so angry and ask if you can try to help. If nothing turns out better, tell her that you feel uncomfortable, and you want her to talk to you.  For your 3rd eldest friend, support her as much as possible, and stand up for her in this terrible situation. If you are all BFFs, then you should all be very close and comfortable around each other, and the fight shouldn't last long. If not, they are not your real friends, and you have to go on without them. I have tons of advice on how to make new friends, so just ask me if you want to know. Your 2nd eldest friend seems to be the main problem.  First of all, tell her to stop, and say how you don't like her bullying you. You must say what she is doing wrong, and how it makes you feel. If she doesn't care, tell her you're serious, and you hate what she is doing to you. If it continues, ignore what trash she is saying, and just simply walk away. Focus on other things that will help make you feel better. Remember, all she is is a person, and it's up to you to act appropriately.  Stay positive, and calm. Focus on other things, and if she continues, tell her that you can all be friends and you miss her. Go get another friend to stand up with you, and tell her that you will report to an adult if she won't stop. She may be your friend, but she deserves it. I told on my BFF when she was mean, so it's all okay now.  If all else fails, get a trusted adult, and hang out with nicer friends. Your other friends will learn from their mistakes. If not, warn them, and give them a sincere kindness note of how you miss being friends. Then, also give one to the bully.
    reply about 15 hours
    AnnaOfExquizurd
    Yeah, @CyclonicBass the best option really is to find a girl with a quirky personality. Become friends with her. Possibly, over time, she'll grow close to you and accept a request to be with you. Hope it goes well!
    reply 1 day