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Dear Dish-it: My Crush Has A Bad Dating History

Jun 17, 2010

Dear Dish-it,


I really like this guy but he's got serious dating issues. Mostly he "dates" someone for a month, they break up, and then he dates someone else for a few days. He says it isn’t true, but I know it is so I'm trying not to like him, but I can't help it! Should I trust him and date him? I'm worried that I'll just end up another girl on his "dated and dumped her" list!


unsure


Dear unsure,


Even though you really like this guy, you’re right. You don’t want to put yourself in a situation where chances are you will get hurt or spoil your good rep for no reason. But at the same time, don’t let that control all your choices.


Friends First

Call me old fashioned, but I think the best relationships start out as friendships. It’s really important not to rush into things, especially if this guy has a poor track record. While you may wanna give up the idea of being his girlfriend right away, there's no reason why you can't be friends with him. Maybe that will help you get to know him a bit better first, so that you can understand why he does what he does.


Stay Special

If your crush has a questionable dating history, the best thing to do is just be his friend first. Ease up on the romance and take it slow. For all you know, you may discover you’re not as into him as you thought. And if you like him even more than before? Trust me, a relationship after you two really get to know each other will mean way more, and you’ll be A LOT less likely to be just another girl on his list.


Protect Your Rep

It’s definitely not worth ruining your reputation (and self-worth!) over something silly. But if you find that this guy's a keeper, you shouldn’t let what other people think rain on your parade. They might not think it’s the best idea, but trust yourself to make smart decisions and do what is right for you. In the end, the people who make a big deal about it don’t really matter. As long as YOU'RE happy with your relationship and with yourself, they’ve got nothing on you!


Sound Off

Ever been with a "bad" guy or someone your friends/family didn't like? How did you handle it? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!


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Comments

BellePrincessxoxoHoran_2101630
If it is that way u can just be friends with him. Its obviously he will leave u with a ...
commented: Fri Apr 20, 2012

K-Kaye

K-Kaye wrote:

ok you know wat girls you need 2 watch out for bad boys you can tell by the way they ac...
commented: Thu Apr 21, 2011

jjsay15

jjsay15 wrote:

he is a jerk then i wouldnt date him cause i bet you have ahuge risk of being on that list
commented: Thu Dec 23, 2010

there are 7 more comments

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

kaykay2002
kaykay2002 posted in Friends:
"Wooper1255" wrote:No. Just no. Mr. Face does not approve this. ._.Okay, okay, let's get serious.Your best friend BULLYING you? And loves it when you get mad? What the heck? SHE'S NOT EVEN YOUR FRIEND!You should have a talk with your best friend. No seriously, she doesn't have any friends cause she's a bully and no one likes to be friends with a bully...You should tell your best friend that she NEEDS to change her attitude! She needs to be more nicer to others also.Also, a best friend is: Caring, Kind, Loyal, Nice, Thoughtful, and will stand up for you against bullies, will be there if you're upset, maybe they'll even CRY with you!A best friend is totally NOT: Someone who bullies you, Someone who likes it when your madYou should ask her any of the following questions:Are you Okay?Why are you bullying me? You're my friend.Is something wrong like family issues?Questions like that are good because there may be a reason for bullying. She could be suffering from depression, or is confused or lonely. Just talk to her. Have a discussion with her. Also, you should talk to other people. Ask them why they aren't friends with your best friend. Then maybe, after they tell you what they don't like about her, you can go back to your best friend and tell her the things she needs to improve on. Also, if necessary, tell an adult like your mom, a teacher, consular, or her mom.Whatever you think will solve this conflict between you and your best friend well... just go for it. But think about the outcome too.Hope I helped, I might add some tips and suggestions to you. :3  your right and the only reason I have put up with her this long is because her dad died but I cant stand her anymore so but seriously I feel like there is another reason bcuz she has had people confront her saying "u know what I have put up wit this for a while and I have told u to stop and u don't listen and I know your dad died but that doesn't mean u can treat people like that "  but she still does it and for the past 3 yrs. I have put up with it but not anymore I will talk to her about it. Thanks.
reply about 3 hours
Wooper1255
Wooper1255 posted in Friends:
You NEED to tell your parents or HER parents about her attitude, this is abuse from your OWN best friend! Tell an adult, don't be afraid, it's not even SILLY to tell an adult, this is serious, she is HURTING you! Tell someone before things get out of hand and she REALLY hurts you! D=
reply about 4 hours
Wooper1255
Wooper1255 posted in Friends:
No. Just no. Mr. Face does not approve this. ._. Okay, okay, let's get serious. Your best friend BULLYING you? And loves it when you get mad? What the heck? SHE'S NOT EVEN YOUR FRIEND! You should have a talk with your best friend. No seriously, she doesn't have any friends cause she's a bully and no one likes to be friends with a bully... You should tell your best friend that she NEEDS to change her attitude! She needs to be more nicer to others also. Also, a best friend is: Caring, Kind, Loyal, Nice, Thoughtful, and will stand up for you against bullies, will be there if you're upset, maybe they'll even CRY with you! A best friend is totally NOT: Someone who bullies you, Someone who likes it when your mad You should ask her any of the following questions: Are you Okay? Why are you bullying me? You're my friend. Is something wrong like family issues? Questions like that are good because there may be a reason for bullying. She could be suffering from depression, or is confused or lonely. Just talk to her. Have a discussion with her. Also, you should talk to other people. Ask them why they aren't friends with your best friend. Then maybe, after they tell you what they don't like about her, you can go back to your best friend and tell her the things she needs to improve on. Also, if necessary, tell an adult like your mom, a teacher, consular, or her mom. Whatever you think will solve this conflict between you and your best friend well... just go for it. But think about the outcome too. Hope I helped, I might add some tips and suggestions to you. :3
reply about 4 hours
Boysrock50
Boysrock50 posted in Friends:
Yeah I had a friend in the same situation as you, he was too scared to say anything so we spoke for him. Now the 'friend' has changed and hes our mate. Just tell her straight and firmly, its the only way
reply about 4 hours
kaykay2002
kaykay2002 posted in Friends:
"Boysrock50" wrote:She is obviously NOT your best friend.I wouldn't even call her a friendShe is a bully who thinks she can have her own wayShe thinks she can control you like you're her follower because she the truth is she needs youBe smart and leave her because she's only going to keep you down and then one day she will find  friends just like her and she will just ignore you forever, thinking shes too cool for you.I would either:Tell her straight that she needs to make her own friends because you don't want to be friends anymoreor:Tell her that you don't like what she does and either she changes her ways and acts more like a friend, or you cant be friends anymore.I'm not trying to be harsh, I'm being wise and you should be wise too. Thanks I actually might try that but she is really stubborn and will not take no for an answer I have tried just ignoring her but he will kick, hit, or punch me to get attention. my parents also don't like her bcuz she is bossy. I also have to go to summer camp with her for the next 2 weeks and w have to be buddies for it so i think i might die
reply about 4 hours

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