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Dear Dish-it: My Crush Has A Bad Dating History

Jun 17, 2010

Dear Dish-it,


I really like this guy but he's got serious dating issues. Mostly he "dates" someone for a month, they break up, and then he dates someone else for a few days. He says it isn’t true, but I know it is so I'm trying not to like him, but I can't help it! Should I trust him and date him? I'm worried that I'll just end up another girl on his "dated and dumped her" list!


unsure


Dear unsure,


Even though you really like this guy, you’re right. You don’t want to put yourself in a situation where chances are you will get hurt or spoil your good rep for no reason. But at the same time, don’t let that control all your choices.


Friends First

Call me old fashioned, but I think the best relationships start out as friendships. It’s really important not to rush into things, especially if this guy has a poor track record. While you may wanna give up the idea of being his girlfriend right away, there's no reason why you can't be friends with him. Maybe that will help you get to know him a bit better first, so that you can understand why he does what he does.


Stay Special

If your crush has a questionable dating history, the best thing to do is just be his friend first. Ease up on the romance and take it slow. For all you know, you may discover you’re not as into him as you thought. And if you like him even more than before? Trust me, a relationship after you two really get to know each other will mean way more, and you’ll be A LOT less likely to be just another girl on his list.


Protect Your Rep

It’s definitely not worth ruining your reputation (and self-worth!) over something silly. But if you find that this guy's a keeper, you shouldn’t let what other people think rain on your parade. They might not think it’s the best idea, but trust yourself to make smart decisions and do what is right for you. In the end, the people who make a big deal about it don’t really matter. As long as YOU'RE happy with your relationship and with yourself, they’ve got nothing on you!


Sound Off

Ever been with a "bad" guy or someone your friends/family didn't like? How did you handle it? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!


More Great Dish-It Advice:
7 Comments

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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
I hope you don't mind that I moved this to friends, but I thought it'd be more fitting since your question seems mainly friendship based. :) Do you mind being younger than your classmates? Do you feel it inhibits your school experience? I think you should do what feels best to you, whether that be staying behind because friendship has a big impact, or continuing ahead if you prioritize academic growth. Only you know what's right for you. :p If it's any help, I left high school early and went to college. I was already used to being the youngest in my class so it wasn't a huge jump socially, and I found a lot of friends of all ages. :D With that being said, I do still miss being with people my age but it's too late to go back and I wouldn't trade my experience for the world.
reply about 5 hours
YassenGregorovich
I'm 13 and will be going on to 9th grade. I skipped kindergarted  :p and 5th grade. So I'm a lot younger then most of my classmates will be. I'm thinking of repeating 8th grade so I will be more of the same age as the other people in my class. But I'm not sure if I should because I got a B+ or A- average in 8th grade. I need some advice on this. Sorry if this is the wrong section for this I just thought general was the right place. Thanks!  :D
reply about 20 hours
aftershock
aftershock posted in Style:
Thanks all of you guys for your responses. It seems many of you don't share pics to get help from friends when you're choosing. Thats OK. If anyone does want to go on the VIP list to be the first to try the new app then feel free to complete the info form here: http://goo.gl/forms/FOiKWa4DoAQHxtOx1 
reply about 21 hours
CoolerThanMyself
I'm a 12 year old girl with really strict parents! I do chores( even handling BLEACH sometimes) , I take care of my little brother, I'm in top set for all my classes- even on the gifted and talented register and I've only ever had 1 detention- and that was their fault anyway bc I was late( they drive). But, I'm still NEVER allowed out with my friends! My friends are all in top sets as well, are well behaved and all we literally would do is window shopping. I mean, there are my age smoking shisha and doing #####- they should be lucky I'm not a delinquent! But my parents always say I can't hang out. Not because they're worried about my safety, they just dont want me to go out.! Even sleepovers, my parents always say no because they ' haven't met the parents" but they make NO effort to do so. I'm losing out on knowing my friends better and whilst they're all making best friends, at school I'm just the person in the background- the left out friend. It hurts and most of the time I wish I was fostered or something. How can I make them loosen up? ( don't say anything about sneaking out because I chose life)
reply 2 days
Corps
Corps posted in Style:
Thank You Mate :)
reply 2 days