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Dear Dish-it: My Crush Has A Bad Dating History

Jun 17, 2010

Dear Dish-it,


I really like this guy but he's got serious dating issues. Mostly he "dates" someone for a month, they break up, and then he dates someone else for a few days. He says it isn’t true, but I know it is so I'm trying not to like him, but I can't help it! Should I trust him and date him? I'm worried that I'll just end up another girl on his "dated and dumped her" list!


unsure


Dear unsure,


Even though you really like this guy, you’re right. You don’t want to put yourself in a situation where chances are you will get hurt or spoil your good rep for no reason. But at the same time, don’t let that control all your choices.


Friends First

Call me old fashioned, but I think the best relationships start out as friendships. It’s really important not to rush into things, especially if this guy has a poor track record. While you may wanna give up the idea of being his girlfriend right away, there's no reason why you can't be friends with him. Maybe that will help you get to know him a bit better first, so that you can understand why he does what he does.


Stay Special

If your crush has a questionable dating history, the best thing to do is just be his friend first. Ease up on the romance and take it slow. For all you know, you may discover you’re not as into him as you thought. And if you like him even more than before? Trust me, a relationship after you two really get to know each other will mean way more, and you’ll be A LOT less likely to be just another girl on his list.


Protect Your Rep

It’s definitely not worth ruining your reputation (and self-worth!) over something silly. But if you find that this guy's a keeper, you shouldn’t let what other people think rain on your parade. They might not think it’s the best idea, but trust yourself to make smart decisions and do what is right for you. In the end, the people who make a big deal about it don’t really matter. As long as YOU'RE happy with your relationship and with yourself, they’ve got nothing on you!


Sound Off

Ever been with a "bad" guy or someone your friends/family didn't like? How did you handle it? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!


More Great Dish-It Advice:
7 Comments

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  • Yes - it sucks.
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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

Abbergrl
Abbergrl posted in Family Issues:
My mom can be that way too. There's nothing like that, you're exagerating, you dont even know what you're talking about. When all tthaat time I was going through it. She didn't have a clue honestly.
reply about 18 hours
StarrChild
Two years ago my parents broke up. I was never really the same after that point. My mother she began to just not care about anything. She would go out clubbing every Friday and would yell at me for my attitude towards it. Why would I be okay with her doing that??? I didn't really realise it but I began feeling kind of depressed. Of course we didn't fight all the time but when we did I would always end up crying alone in my room. And it would be really painful. One time I cried every night for a week because of her. A week ago, I felt really sick at school so I went to the sick bay but my Mum refused to believe I was sick. She thought I was lying and being over dramatic as usual. I felt really horrible after that, that the teacher sent me to the guidance councellor and almost immediately I burst into tears. I didn't even know why I did but the councellor did a little test on me and came to the conclusion I was slightly depressed and had anxiety. It wasn't really surprising but hearing it out loud just felt really weird. Even after knowing that fact my mother doesn't really act any different. She's not a bad person I swear but she can just be really horrible at times. Anyways, that's technically whats been happening in my life lol. Nothing really interesting
reply about 19 hours
Froggers
theres this guy that i really REALLY like, im not sure if he likes me back. i put my mobile # on a piece of paper and slipped it in his locker, he hasn't texted or called me yet. Today at lunch i asked his friend to ask if he likes anyone but his friend keeps lying to me and won't tell me if he said anything. The guy and I were best friends in 5th grade but now that we're in different classes we don't talk much anymore. My friends said that i have a chance with him and that we have a lot in common, but im pretty sure he likes this other girl but im also pretty sure he likes me. I want to make a move but i don't wanna end our friendship i don't know what to do.
reply 1 day
LUCYQWERTY123
LUCYQWERTY123 posted in Friends:
it can be anyone u want but it should be someone who has the true friendship qualities and trust-worhtiness :) :)
reply 1 day
drowning
drowning posted in Friends:
It's good to have both to talk too about things. But, what's the point of being with someone if you can't trust them enough to even tell them things?
reply 1 day