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Dear Dish-it: My Crush Has A Bad Dating History

Jun 17, 2010

Dear Dish-it,


I really like this guy but he's got serious dating issues. Mostly he "dates" someone for a month, they break up, and then he dates someone else for a few days. He says it isn’t true, but I know it is so I'm trying not to like him, but I can't help it! Should I trust him and date him? I'm worried that I'll just end up another girl on his "dated and dumped her" list!


unsure


Dear unsure,


Even though you really like this guy, you’re right. You don’t want to put yourself in a situation where chances are you will get hurt or spoil your good rep for no reason. But at the same time, don’t let that control all your choices.


Friends First

Call me old fashioned, but I think the best relationships start out as friendships. It’s really important not to rush into things, especially if this guy has a poor track record. While you may wanna give up the idea of being his girlfriend right away, there's no reason why you can't be friends with him. Maybe that will help you get to know him a bit better first, so that you can understand why he does what he does.


Stay Special

If your crush has a questionable dating history, the best thing to do is just be his friend first. Ease up on the romance and take it slow. For all you know, you may discover you’re not as into him as you thought. And if you like him even more than before? Trust me, a relationship after you two really get to know each other will mean way more, and you’ll be A LOT less likely to be just another girl on his list.


Protect Your Rep

It’s definitely not worth ruining your reputation (and self-worth!) over something silly. But if you find that this guy's a keeper, you shouldn’t let what other people think rain on your parade. They might not think it’s the best idea, but trust yourself to make smart decisions and do what is right for you. In the end, the people who make a big deal about it don’t really matter. As long as YOU'RE happy with your relationship and with yourself, they’ve got nothing on you!


Sound Off

Ever been with a "bad" guy or someone your friends/family didn't like? How did you handle it? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!


More Great Dish-It Advice:
7 Comments

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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
I'm an older sister to a 13 year old brother. Neither of us really agree on much, either. I prefer this, he prefers that. I prefer that, he prefers this. It's natural regarding age differences. Even just a years worth can hold plenty. It's best to meet in the middle with things. Like, my brother and I for instance don't really agree on anything. But, it's good to meet somewhere with things to do together whether its agreeing on a movie to watch or playing a video-game together. Even drawing or helping each other out with something. Just keep in mind, when it comes to this, you won't always want to do what they want.
reply about 10 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
I understand this situation. Personally, you can tell your sister if you're completely sure on what happen. But, make sure she stays quiet about it until you both come to an agreement on when you should confront your parents about what you saw.
reply about 10 hours
Sophieex_
Posts: 21 3 minutes ago I think I'm bi, too. And thanks for the words of wisdom @rainbowpoptart 
reply about 14 hours
Sophieex_
Here's something to think about @IlikeGUYS20, I can say this about myself, and I'm sure, from this post, you'd agree. I'd love to have a girlfriend, and I'd also love to have a boyfriend. I'd be open to date any gender that my romantic partner would claim. We should just see what makes us happy before we label ourselves. Thanks! :)Have a wonderful day!:rainbow ❤
reply about 14 hours
rainbowpoptart
You should grow comfortable with yourself before you come out. If you're not certain if you are indeed bi, then you shouldn't slap that label on yourself yet. Take some time to really think about how you feel, but don't worry too much about it. Your sexuality isn't everything. You have plenty of time to discover yourself as person. Don't rush it.
reply about 21 hours