Dear Dish-it: My Crush Has A Bad Dating History

Jun 17, 2010

Dear Dish-it,

I really like this guy but he's got serious dating issues. Mostly he "dates" someone for a month, they break up, and then he dates someone else for a few days. He says it isn’t true, but I know it is so I'm trying not to like him, but I can't help it! Should I trust him and date him? I'm worried that I'll just end up another girl on his "dated and dumped her" list!


Dear unsure,

Even though you really like this guy, you’re right. You don’t want to put yourself in a situation where chances are you will get hurt or spoil your good rep for no reason. But at the same time, don’t let that control all your choices.

Friends First

Call me old fashioned, but I think the best relationships start out as friendships. It’s really important not to rush into things, especially if this guy has a poor track record. While you may wanna give up the idea of being his girlfriend right away, there's no reason why you can't be friends with him. Maybe that will help you get to know him a bit better first, so that you can understand why he does what he does.

Stay Special

If your crush has a questionable dating history, the best thing to do is just be his friend first. Ease up on the romance and take it slow. For all you know, you may discover you’re not as into him as you thought. And if you like him even more than before? Trust me, a relationship after you two really get to know each other will mean way more, and you’ll be A LOT less likely to be just another girl on his list.

Protect Your Rep

It’s definitely not worth ruining your reputation (and self-worth!) over something silly. But if you find that this guy's a keeper, you shouldn’t let what other people think rain on your parade. They might not think it’s the best idea, but trust yourself to make smart decisions and do what is right for you. In the end, the people who make a big deal about it don’t really matter. As long as YOU'RE happy with your relationship and with yourself, they’ve got nothing on you!

Sound Off

Ever been with a "bad" guy or someone your friends/family didn't like? How did you handle it? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!

More Great Dish-It Advice:

latest videos


Have You Ever Been Dumped?

  • Yes - it sucks.
  • No - I'm always the one doing the dumping.

related stories

love asks: "i like this boy and he was dating my friend. then he dumped her for me and i said yes...
emochik1214 asks: my boyfriand hase cheated on me twice and i dont kno wat to do?
I got into trouble at school and my mom said I can't go out with my boyfriend. Should I date him ...

Dear Dish-It in the forums

XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
My friend problem: Get ready 'cause this'll be long. Problem = ... Okay, so I know this girl, Amelia. Last year when I was new at school she invited me to sit with her and her friends on the second day. Since then, we've been 'best friends'. Throughout the whole of last year she was really great. Now, it's been a few weeks since the first day of school - 5th grade. On the first day she was really happy to see me and we did all that normal BFF stuff. We even traced one of each of our hands and wrote 'BFFs' at the top. It all started with this.                                                   HOW IT HAPPENED One day we were sitting in the cafeteria. Her: Hey, what should we do during recess today? Another Friend Who Doesn't Like Amelia: Hey, do you want to do ______________? Me: Ummmmmmmmmmmm ......... errrrrrrrr .............. Me: (Thinking of Plan) Me: Eureka! Me: Hey, Amelia, I have this idea. Since you don't like Belen .... (this is other friend's name)  and you don't like her, I was thinking: Maybe on Monday I could hang out with you and Tuesday with her ... etc. Her: Cool. Well ... okay. Note: Well, I was feeling pretty bad, because she'd been a really great friend, but then I thought: Hey, it's only one day! It's not like I told her "Hey, I'm going to ditch you!" So then I went off with Belen. Well, the next day, or maybe a few days later - I don't remember - she told me during recess again: Her: Hey, do you want to go hang out with them over there? Points Me: Sure ... why not? Then we went on over there. During the whole of that recess, she didn't pay much attention to me. That was when I got suspicious. Now, it's been, like, 4 weeks since the first day of school. I decided to hang out with Belen during recess on Friday. Tomorrow is Monday, btw. Belen: Are you going to hang out with me during recess today? Me: Yeah. I would've wanted to go off with Amelia, but she was blowing me off lately. Last year a lot of people weren't her friends and she wasn't that social. Now, I see her flirting with _ _ _ _ _ _ easily and everyone (even people who left her out of their groups last year) is crowding around her while she talks about her big party. Last time, she even asked me if I wanted to go away with Belen, because she wasn't there either. Maybe I'm overreacting and she's just getting to be friends with a lot more people. I dunno. Should I be happy for her? Like I said, Belen and Amelia kinda hate each other, which is pretty inconvenient because they're both my best friends. So, you know that 'big party' Amelia is hosting? Belen's not invited and I don't know about myself, either. During yet ANOTHER recess Belen was talking about planning her birthday party. Now it's October 4th and her birthday is actually on January 21. Weird. I think she means this as a revenge party, because she is NOT inviting Amelia. Am I overreacting and taking this too seriously? Maybe I'm not and Amelia really isn't a good friend. But if I go to Belen's party and have an awesome time, Amelia (if I was overreacting) would be really upset. Then she would ditch me - FOR REAL. If I AM invited to Amelia's party, then what if she started blowing me off there? I don't want to look like a pesky little 'friend', clinging onto her. I NEED HELP. P.S. I have another problem caused by the first problem. I am crushing really hard on My Crush. I'm sure boys like fun, bouncy, happy, perky girls. He usually sees me during recess, where Amelia is usually blowing me off. Then, I start acting really sluggish and moody. Basically downright not-in-the-fun-mood. What would he think? Thank you for your help. P.P.S. PLEASE DO help me. This is an emergency. Thank you very much for your help (if you do help, that is.)
reply about 8 hours
XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
Perfect Friend: Someone who will support you when you fail. Someone who encourages you. Someone who sticks with you. Someone who comforts you when things go wrong. Someone who is funny and makes you laugh. Someone who tells you the answers in class ... Someone who would wait for you after detention. Someone who would buy you great presents for your birthday. Someone who you know you can always count on. Someone nice (obvious). Someone who never fights with you. Someone who would always be a good friend, even if you weren't. Someone who is loyal. Someone who'd never go off with some other person. Someone who would read all this stuff without telling me they were bored.
reply about 9 hours
XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
This thing happened in kindergarten ... too embarrassing to even talk about it now ... so bye.
reply about 14 hours
"CountessElectra" wrote:The loss of my grandad was horrible. I felt so sad at the time. I felt like i would never stop crying when my parents told me. It still makes me sad today... aww. i hope everything's okay :(
reply about 15 hours
"hugebear" wrote:This is the awesome thread and thank you for posting it manu [stickied] :) thank you huge :) 
reply about 15 hours

play online games