Kw-logo-smaller

Dear Dish-it: My Crush Has A Bad Dating History

Jun 17, 2010

Dear Dish-it,


I really like this guy but he's got serious dating issues. Mostly he "dates" someone for a month, they break up, and then he dates someone else for a few days. He says it isn’t true, but I know it is so I'm trying not to like him, but I can't help it! Should I trust him and date him? I'm worried that I'll just end up another girl on his "dated and dumped her" list!


unsure


Dear unsure,


Even though you really like this guy, you’re right. You don’t want to put yourself in a situation where chances are you will get hurt or spoil your good rep for no reason. But at the same time, don’t let that control all your choices.


Friends First

Call me old fashioned, but I think the best relationships start out as friendships. It’s really important not to rush into things, especially if this guy has a poor track record. While you may wanna give up the idea of being his girlfriend right away, there's no reason why you can't be friends with him. Maybe that will help you get to know him a bit better first, so that you can understand why he does what he does.


Stay Special

If your crush has a questionable dating history, the best thing to do is just be his friend first. Ease up on the romance and take it slow. For all you know, you may discover you’re not as into him as you thought. And if you like him even more than before? Trust me, a relationship after you two really get to know each other will mean way more, and you’ll be A LOT less likely to be just another girl on his list.


Protect Your Rep

It’s definitely not worth ruining your reputation (and self-worth!) over something silly. But if you find that this guy's a keeper, you shouldn’t let what other people think rain on your parade. They might not think it’s the best idea, but trust yourself to make smart decisions and do what is right for you. In the end, the people who make a big deal about it don’t really matter. As long as YOU'RE happy with your relationship and with yourself, they’ve got nothing on you!


Sound Off

Ever been with a "bad" guy or someone your friends/family didn't like? How did you handle it? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!


More Great Dish-It Advice:
7 Comments

latest videos

F1122316517328

Have You Ever Been Dumped?

  • Yes - it sucks.
  • No - I'm always the one doing the dumping.

related stories

love asks: "i like this boy and he was dating my friend. then he dumped her for me and i said yes...
emochik1214 asks: my boyfriand hase cheated on me twice and i dont kno wat to do?
I got into trouble at school and my mom said I can't go out with my boyfriend. Should I date him ...

Dear Dish-It in the forums

hugebear
hugebear posted in Family Issues:
You doesnt have to come out to your family until your ready and until they is ready too.  If you blurt it out it could be the shock.  You says that you think your Mums side of the family will be more supportive.  Has you got an Aunty or Uncle what you could discuss this with?  An adult member of your family what is most likely supportive  could probably give the best advises on how to tell your family and when and how and prepares you for how they will react. Good luck mate and takes your time :angel
reply about 3 hours
Mrawsomegamer
I think my mothers side of the family would be fine with it. It's my dad's side I'm most concerned about. My dad says some dreadfully terrible remarks about homosexual people. I think I'm not gunna tell him at all. Ever...  Either way. Thanks for the advice!
reply about 3 hours
Kirsteeeeen
If you don't think that you'll be in a safe situation (for example, your parents try to kick you out, or hurt you physically or emotionally) than you should definitely wait to tell them. I think you'll know when the time is right. We can't tell you how they'll react, but I bet you can sort of figure it out from how they feel and act about these topics.  Remember, you are not obligated to tell anybody at all. It's personal. Wait until you're for sure ready to tell them. And when you do, tell them the way in which it's easiest. Get your point across, offer resources, reassurance, and give them time. 
reply about 3 hours
Mrawsomegamer
Hey guys, so I do kinda have a personal issue, but I need to tell my family about it. Truth is, I'm not even sure how they'll even react. Very few of my friends know, only the ones I trust anyway... I'm gay. Or at least bisexual. I kinda had a thing for girls, but that was a long time ago. I think I'm fully gay. I have a very supportive boyfriend, who loves me with all his heart. But that's not what it's about; it's actually coming out to my family, whom I know some of them are quite homophobic. Homophobia runs in my family. Sorta...  It makes my stomach turn when I think about it. I sometimes look into the mirror, look at myself and think if my conscience suddenly made me decide I was gay, or if I was born with it. Science tells us that we are born that way, due to lack of man chemicals entering a boys brain when in development. I feel like I've chosen it (even though I know deep inside I haven't) to be gay, probably because of my family almost forcing me into getting a girlfriend and such. I come from a Catholic family, to make things even worse. I'm like the only practising person in my family, but somehow I feel that they'll use my Faith against me if I come out.  So, should I just wait until I'm older? How do I know when the time is right? How will they even react? How should I even say it?  Please help!
reply about 4 hours
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
This thread has been moved. Click here to see the new thread.
reply about 5 hours

play online games