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Dear Dish-it: My BFF's Dating My Ex

Dear Dish-it,

My second best friend in the whole entire world is still dating my ex. Me and him were really really really close and he seems to have moved on from me. But I still have very strong feelings for him. I have told my friend the way I feel about him but it’s not making a difference. But I still wanna be friends with her. I am an emotional wreck.


Dear bubblegumkisses,

Wow – this is one of the toughest situations to be in when it comes to friendship/love. You want to be happy for your best friend, but you also feel hurt and confused about why she is dating your ex.

I think that the best thing to do is to talk to your friend. Get her one-on-one and tell her what’s been going on, being totally honest about how you feel. I know you said you’ve tried this before, but honestly, there’s no other way to get your feelings across, so you’re just going to have to try again. Just be honest and let her know it’s hurting your feelings. Try to make her understand that you’re being sincere – not jealous.

If it’s looking like she won’t even consider the possibility of taking a break with the guy or making a compromise with you until it’s worked out then consider maybe taking a mini break from her. It doesn’t mean she has to dump him right away because you say so, but she should at least be willing to tone it down or come up with some other idea to help you. It’s never cool when a girl picks a guy over a friend. If something changes though, and you decide you’re happy with them together, then still talk your concerns out to keep the communication open, but let her know she has your support.

Sound Off

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
Maybe he likes you, as a friend or as more.
reply about 5 hours
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
Friends grow apart as we grow up and change at different rates. It's fine to stop being friends, but it doesn't have to be in a mean way. The best thing to do is talk to her (nicely). You don't have to tell her she's being childish or you feel as if you've matured more. That would be terrible. Talk about things you guys like to do in common or make plans to try new things together. Or don't mention it at all, but don't just begin ignoring her. Eventually the friendship will fade the less time you spend together. 
reply about 7 hours
Amalegend20 posted in Friends:
You should be nice to her. If you have to break the news gently don't make her feel bad just talk to her about and see what she says  
reply about 21 hours
hugebear posted in Friends:
My bff and I were best friends but weve grown apart im getting older and she still wants to do kid stuff I have new friends now I feel like im being mean to her but like doesn't she get the memo I feel both guilty and mad:} Gosh.... put the shoe on  the other foot and see how would you feel if your bff done this on you. You has been bffs for the long time [Im guessing] and your maturing faster than her.  I agrees you are being mean to her if you doesnt discuss how your feeling with her and ignoring / avoiding her or whatever your doing.    She has been the good friend to you and she deserves to understand if you is growing up faster than her.  I really feels sad for how she could be feeling right now. She didnt do anything wrong.  You changed. Not her. Please be nice to your friend/ex friend and let her down gently [if you really has to] ^^ Me opinion  
reply 1 day
Desiixx posted in Friends:
Don't worry about it. Friends grow apart. That's how things go. Just talk to her about it, she'll understand. 
reply 1 day

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