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Dear Dish-it: My Mom Reads My Emails

Dear Dish-it,


OMG! I can’t stand it anymore! My mom reads my e-mails! It’s embarrassing cause my friends write to me about boys A LOT! I’ve told my friends to stop sending those kinds of e-mails but they won’t. They always send me messages asking me, “So who do you like?!” So I’m all freaked my mom will read those and wanna have a big talk with me. Help!


lolfunni


Dear lolfunni,


The first thing to do is to make sure your mom is really reading your e-mails. You wouldn’t want to accuse her of something she’s not actually doing – like being a snoop. If you’re sure, then the best thing is to talk to her about it. Without getting angry, try to explain to your mom why your privacy is important to you. Try something along the lines of, “Hey, mom, the e-mails my friends send me are sorta private, and it would make me pretty uncomfortable if you were reading them. I’d definitely like to share things that are going on in my life with you, but instead of reading my e-mails without my permission, do you think you could ask me first?”


Maybe if you’re more open with your mom, and talk to her about more of the stuff that’s happening in your life, she won’t feel she needs to look at your private messages in order to find out. That means filling her in on your feelings for boys, the changes your body is going through as you grow up, your relationships with your friends, etc. If you don’t hide stuff from your mom, she may feel more comfortable because she’ll know what’s going on with you. In other words, she won’t feel she has to be sneaky about finding out what’s happening in your life.


The other thing you can do is always remember to log out of your e-mail account. Meaning, after you’re done checking your e-mail, sign out so that whoever wants to use the computer next would have to know your username and password in order to sign back in and see all your messages. However, your mom may want to make sure you’re staying safe on the Internet by knowing your username and password. If that’s the case, then you’ll just have to talk to her and tell her how you feel.


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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

drowning
drowning posted in Style:
  "imtcutiie" wrote: DONT DO IT JUST PLEASE #### #### #### ......... CHANGING EYE COLOR  JUST WRONG   Changing eye color isn't wrong. :^) But, you can't simply change it with "spells" or videos. To change your eye color, you will need to either wear contacts during the day to appear that you have different colored eyes than you truly have, or medically having a doctor perform surgical iris correction.
reply 24 minutes
drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
I hope you texted back if you felt that it would be the right thing to do for yourself. I did not have a good childhood due to my birthmother and father. But, in recent time, I have come to enjoy talking to my birthfather and completely cannot stand my birthmother or her new husband anymore. I plan to actually meet him for the first time in 16 years if I can join my fiancé's family vacation.  Point of the matter, do what you feel is right. If you want to talk to him; talk to him. If you don't, don't reply if you don't feel comfortable too. It is purely your choice who you allow in your life, even when it comes down to blood and family.
reply 27 minutes
drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
It isn't pathetic in the slightest to seek help. I don't think it is right for your mother and siblings to completely disown you over your choice of living arrangements. If they have pushed you away, remember that it is not your fault and it is purely theirs. You made a choice that you felt would benefit you, and judging from their behavior, it was a good choice. As for your father, I don't fight with my own very much, but when I do it tends to be pretty bad. My mother on the other hand, I fight with constantly so I understand where you're coming from. You shouldn't have to do anything. From the sound of it, it seems more like a personal issue going on with himself, especially a sense of shame or regret with his previous exes so he uses you as an outlet because you're the closest thing he has.  I say find an outlet, a healthy one. Sometimes it is best to let them ramble on until they wear themselves out, but remember that self-defense and "talking back" is not always a bad thing just because they are your guardian. It is important to take a stand for yourself. Be respectful, don't sink to their level.
reply 32 minutes
drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
I think it is very important to find a healthy outlet and someone to talk to whether it's a doctor, friend, family member, ect. You can even find a journal to write in, if it will help you. I promise you, it isn't worth it to let families opinions and views affect you. I let the same thing happen to me and I still struggle over things that I wish I didn't.
reply 38 minutes
drowning
drowning posted in Friends:
Personally, given your age, the idea of a crush is a bit cute, but you're a little young for anything serious. I would recommend waiting until you truly know what you're doing. (And, believe me, you may not see it now, but you will when you're older.) But, if you really do want to find out, you need to remember that boys and girls both feel things. Boys aren't aliens, they aren't emotionless, and they aren't always just  dumbieheads.  You'll find it funny later on in life from how nervous you had gotten over a crush So honestly, just be straight forward. If you need a topic starter to bring it up, joke about old rumors that used to spread about you both.
reply 40 minutes