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Dear Dish-it: Help Me Get Over My Shyness

Dear Dish-it,

I am a really shy girl. Whenever I have to present a presentation to the class, I always a bad job at it. AND, I don't really have the courage to talk to make friends. Can you help me get out of my shyness?


Dear shy-as-a-deer,

Believe me - I know what it’s like to be a wallflower. People can seem very intimidating especially the first time you talk to them. What worked for me? Giving myself challenges to be more outgoing, doing the things I wasn’t so comfortable with and getting involved.

Get Your Goal On

Make being more outgoing a personal goal. When I was breaking out of my shell, I found it extremely rewarding to make up little challenges for myself. One of my faves was to talk to five different (and new) people and ask how their day was going during each school day. I found when I pushed myself out of my comfort zone doing activities like that, not only did I get closer to my goal, but I made more friends, too.

Front & Center

I also made a point to do more public speaking activities. These activities made me much more confident talking to a crowd and raising my voice. One of the most rewarding things I did was emceeing at my middle school talent show. At the end of the evening, when everyone applauded for me, I realized that I had done it. I wasn’t just the girl in the corner, and you don’t have to be either. Look for activities in your school and community that emphasize speaking and sign up for them. Confidence is most important thing to project.

Team Effort

The best thing any shy person can do is join a team. Go for a drama production or a sport. Both activities set you up with a core group of kids with - you guessed it - the same interests. Make it a personal goal to get to know each person in the ensemble by talking to them one-on-one. Good-bye timidity, hello new friends!

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
Maybe he likes you, as a friend or as more.
reply about 9 hours
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
Friends grow apart as we grow up and change at different rates. It's fine to stop being friends, but it doesn't have to be in a mean way. The best thing to do is talk to her (nicely). You don't have to tell her she's being childish or you feel as if you've matured more. That would be terrible. Talk about things you guys like to do in common or make plans to try new things together. Or don't mention it at all, but don't just begin ignoring her. Eventually the friendship will fade the less time you spend together. 
reply about 11 hours
Amalegend20 posted in Friends:
You should be nice to her. If you have to break the news gently don't make her feel bad just talk to her about and see what she says  
reply 1 day
hugebear posted in Friends:
My bff and I were best friends but weve grown apart im getting older and she still wants to do kid stuff I have new friends now I feel like im being mean to her but like doesn't she get the memo I feel both guilty and mad:} Gosh.... put the shoe on  the other foot and see how would you feel if your bff done this on you. You has been bffs for the long time [Im guessing] and your maturing faster than her.  I agrees you are being mean to her if you doesnt discuss how your feeling with her and ignoring / avoiding her or whatever your doing.    She has been the good friend to you and she deserves to understand if you is growing up faster than her.  I really feels sad for how she could be feeling right now. She didnt do anything wrong.  You changed. Not her. Please be nice to your friend/ex friend and let her down gently [if you really has to] ^^ Me opinion  
reply 1 day
Desiixx posted in Friends:
Don't worry about it. Friends grow apart. That's how things go. Just talk to her about it, she'll understand. 
reply 1 day

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