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Dear Dish-it: Mom Won't Let Me Shave

Dear Dish-it,

I am almost 13 and I have neither bras nor do I shave my legs. I know I am ready for them both. I'm too afraid to bring it up with my mom. Whenever I try I chicken out. Do you think it would be a bad idea to start using them both without telling her? How can I make it easier to ask her?

Gettin' older

Dear Gettin' older,

It can be really tough when you know you're ready for things like shaving your legs and wearing a bra, but your mother just doesn't seem to understand. When it comes to wearing a bra, that's probably something you can go ahead and do on your own - you don't necessarily need your mom's permission because you're not doing anything that's changing your body at all by wearing an extra piece of clothing like a bra. But shaving your legs - that might not be something you want to do without her consent. If you do and she gets angry, then it may take a long time to gain her trust again, so you can keep growing up and experiencing new things in a healthy way - with your mom.

Luckily, we’ve got great tips on how to approach the topic of shaving your legs with your mom: what to say, and even how to take it if she says no!

Part 1: The Talk

If you’ve already asked your mom about shaving your legs and she’s said no, don’t bring it up every 5 minutes – she’ll just get frustrated. Instead, sit her down for a full conversation on the subject, and don’t bring it up again for a few months – no matter what the outcome. Here are some ways to talk to her about it so that things come out in your favor!

  1. Listen to Her: Tell your mom you want to start shaving, and acknowledge that she doesn’t approve. Then ask her to explain why. Really pay attention – she might actually have some good reasons.
  2. Explain Yourself: Politely tell her your reasons for wanting to shave. If other girls have made fun of you, or if it’s making you feel so uncomfortable that you won’t even wear shorts in 90-degree weather, she might be more likely to understand.
  3. Be Ready to Compromise: No matter what your mom’s reasons for saying no are, you have to let her know that you were listening, and you’re willing to meet her halfway. Offer a compromise: you’ll only shave below your knees, or you’ll use a hair removal cream instead of shaving (so you don’t run the risk of cutting yourself). Her decision doesn’t have to be all or nothing ... if you chat it out.
  4. Give Her Time: After the two of you have chatted, ask her to think it over before she makes a decision. Decide on a time when she’ll tell you, and (this part may be difficult) don’t ask her about it until then.

Part 1: The Decision

Now comes the (hopefully) good part: your mom will tell you whether or not you’re allowed to shave. If your conversation went well, you both listened to each other, and she understands that your reasons are good she’ll most likely let you. If she does, great! Make sure you include her in the process by asking for tips or a demo. If she says the dreaded “no,” here’s how to handle it.

  1. Accept It: Tell her you understand her decision, and while it isn’t what you wanted, you’ll respect it. That way, you’re showing her how mature you are by not whining.
  2. Try Again: After a month or two, approach the subject again. Make sure your mama knows that it’s a big deal to you and why. It also might help to gently remind her how mature you were about the rejection last time. You may have to repeat this cycle a few times, but be patient! She will eventually say yes.
  3. No Begging or Wining! Remember: If you handle the situation like the mature gal you are, she’ll be more likely to treat you like one.

Sound Off

What would you do if you wanted to do something and your mom said NO? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!

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Comments

spyxavier12

spyxavier12 wrote:

I'll just say who ever wrote this was born in a dumpster u stink like raw eggs
commented: Mon Aug 11, 2014

furiouspearl

furiouspearl wrote:

I hav too much hair on my legs but my mom won't shave! whenever i talk about that subje...
commented: Thu Jul 31, 2014

badgirl17

badgirl17 wrote:

never do it behind her back
commented: Tue Jul 15, 2014

there are 137 more comments

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

GottaLoveDance
GottaLoveDance posted in Friends:
"sugarpetals" wrote: "-_-NowYouSeeMeD" wrote: I know a lot of u BELIBERS out there might not like this post..but..still...I'm gonna continue!!!!  JUSTIN BIBER is REALLY TALENTED....I KNOW...I DON'T DENIE THAT AT ALL...but personally as a person I HATE HIM!!  I mean he's horrible....he doesn't care about anyone's feelings he clearly proved that by breaking SELENA'S heart in to a thousand pieces & by almost being kicked out of a country!!!:c (not just any..USA).He also did many other kinds of things which are...heheheh....heheh....better off not mentioning!!!:D  I know I'll never be able to reach where he did at the age of 13 but if fame leads to this...then...I rather stay invisible!!!:3   I KNOW HATE IS A STRONG WORD BUT IT CAN'T BE HELPED WHEN IT COMES TO BIBER :'c CAN ANYONE GIVE ME SOME  GOOD REASONS FOR WHICH BIEBER SHOULDN'T BE HATED?!?!:( AT LEAST ...MAYBE THEN I WILL BE ABLE TO AGREE WITH MY FRIEND!!!!:c I really don't wanna change her love for Biber or anything....I just wanna see...even if for once....those things that she and all of u Justin Biber fans  see in him!!!:)   i am not a belieber but this is no way to talk about Justin. maybe he has his flaws but it is not for us to judge. u want reasons why people like him right then here are they: 1.he can sing 2.they like his music 3.he is cute if u hate him then its your problem.......u don't need to like him just don't hate him because he is human, would u like someone to hate you because of the way you live and choose to be? yes i agree he did allot of horrible things, but what right do you have to hate him? and as far as your friend is concerned....u shouldn't feel bad because she sees something you don't see in him and that has nothing to do with you. I agree with sugarpetals I'm sorry to say but she is right.
reply 7 minutes
BookwormKat
My 2 older brothers & I live with my Mom, Step-Dad, & "their kids". They get out of doing chores, coming home at curfew, and can all but do anything & get away with all of it!!!!!! :e My Mom doesn't like it much but won't do anything about it. HELP!!!!!!!  :bigfrown
reply about 6 hours
daredog
daredog posted in Family Issues:
Thanks for the support!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
reply about 8 hours
daredog
daredog posted in Family Issues:
Thanks! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D it's good to know you don't mind! I think I might have lost a friend though... I asked Peter444 and he said he doesn't support gays... I hope he knew what I meant..... :) anyway thanks for the support! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
reply about 9 hours
Boysrock50
It's not wrong, it's not right, it's up to an individual tbh. If you're gay, and others have a problem, then it's them that need to change, not you. Don't give in to peer pressure, do what feels right for you
reply about 9 hours

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