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Dear Dish-it: Scared of Sleepovers

Dear Dish-it,


One of my BFFs is having a hotel party/sleepover. I am totally scared! I've been to a hotel party already but that was in Grade 3 and I’m going into Grade 8 now! I don’t know what I am scared of…please help!


Lovely_Ladiie


Dear Lovely_Ladiie,


You’re definitely not alone. I used to be scared of sleepovers, too. I’d get homesick from across the street, and I had tons of trouble sleeping in any place that wasn’t my own room.


What helped me get over my fear was starting small (from guest rooms and up), bringing a few of my favorite belongings to make a strange bed seem more like home and keeping busy with my friends so my mind wasn’t on the distance.


Baby Steps

The best way to get over any fear is to confront it. It’s important to get over this fear now rather than later so you don’t miss out on fun opportunities. While you may not get over your fear overnight, you CAN and WILL get over it with time.


Start by sleeping over at a friend’s house in your own neighborhood, and let her (and her parents) know upfront that you may get a little homesick. Fill your own mom and dad in, too, so they’ll be ready in case you call them to come and pick you up.


From there, make a plan. Plan where you’ll sleep and choose some things from home that’ll help you drift off. For example, bringing your own pillow and teddy bear can totally help. Ask your parents if you can call them if you don’t feel so great; just knowing you have something to fall back on will calm those nerves. Then get ready to have a really fun night.


Busy Bee

When you’re at your friend’s place make a point to stay busy and distracted. Watch movies, play games, make a fun snack or do crafts. Physical activity is also a great distraction, so why not have a dance off?! Exercise helps make you tired and sleep will come easier. By keeping busy, not only will you keep your mind off of home, but you’ll set yourself up for catching some zzzs.


Remember This

Remember, you ARE going to be safe staying at your friend’s house. Nothing will happen to you and you’ll be OK. It’s all about getting through that first night away from home. From there, branch out a little more. Maybe try a friend who lives farther away. Maybe this summer if you’re invited to stay with a relative or friend at the beach or out of town, take a chance and go for it, knowing your parents are always around if you need to call them.


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Downside to Sleepovers?

  • Havin' to lug all my stuff to my friend's house.
  • Being the first one to fall asleep and gettin' my undies frozen!
  • Brushin' my teeth in the same room as my friend's creepy brother.
  • There's no downside to hanging with friends all night.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

PotterDrinksWater
While engagement isn't illegal for juveniles, marriage is as you can already tell. Judging by your feelings, I don't think the relationship will last long enough for him to be able to wait. I heard some courts will allow it, depending on location. Knowing whether her engagement is okay is a tricky thing. She seems pretty confident in the relationship. As for your own feelings, how well do you know him? Do you have any knowledge about him outside their love life? Do her parents know anything about him? If you don't now the answers, don't be afraid to ask them to her or her parents. I'm also a 16-year-old girl and I don't feel comfortable with it. Many young adults have a hard time understanding the transition from  teen to adult, but if he's put his problems on her, that's a bad sign. I don't think 5 months is long enough in my opinion and I think this could lead to making bad habits in a relationship. I appreciate that you're trying to help your friend be safe. Hopefully some of her closest people will help her with you. They don't necessarily have to steer her against him, but they should help guide her into deciding what's best ad how to carry on from that.
reply about 4 hours
CaptJolee
CaptJolee posted in Friends:
I don't even think that legal for a adult to marry a teen I think you should ask that part to make sure my theory is correct
reply about 7 hours
Boysrock50
Boysrock50 posted in Friends:
Do your parents know her parents? Maybe you could get your parents to speak to hers. Or if not, maybe tell her parents yourself that you're concerned. Try speaking to her and making sure she's 100% sure about what she's doing?
reply about 8 hours
KittyChes16
KittyChes16 posted in Friends:
So last year my friend got engaged at the age of sixteen to a guy of twenty-one and they only dated for 5 months at the time. I'm afraid she's making a mistake. They're still together, but her guy seems like he has a temper and might get abusive in the future.  What should I do? 
reply about 9 hours
DaEpicMuffin
DaEpicMuffin posted in Style:
50% Tomboy 20% Goth 30% Normal
reply about 18 hours