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Dear Dish-it: Scared of Sleepovers

Dear Dish-it,


One of my BFFs is having a hotel party/sleepover. I am totally scared! I've been to a hotel party already but that was in Grade 3 and I’m going into Grade 8 now! I don’t know what I am scared of…please help!


Lovely_Ladiie


Dear Lovely_Ladiie,


You’re definitely not alone. I used to be scared of sleepovers, too. I’d get homesick from across the street, and I had tons of trouble sleeping in any place that wasn’t my own room.


What helped me get over my fear was starting small (from guest rooms and up), bringing a few of my favorite belongings to make a strange bed seem more like home and keeping busy with my friends so my mind wasn’t on the distance.


Baby Steps

The best way to get over any fear is to confront it. It’s important to get over this fear now rather than later so you don’t miss out on fun opportunities. While you may not get over your fear overnight, you CAN and WILL get over it with time.


Start by sleeping over at a friend’s house in your own neighborhood, and let her (and her parents) know upfront that you may get a little homesick. Fill your own mom and dad in, too, so they’ll be ready in case you call them to come and pick you up.


From there, make a plan. Plan where you’ll sleep and choose some things from home that’ll help you drift off. For example, bringing your own pillow and teddy bear can totally help. Ask your parents if you can call them if you don’t feel so great; just knowing you have something to fall back on will calm those nerves. Then get ready to have a really fun night.


Busy Bee

When you’re at your friend’s place make a point to stay busy and distracted. Watch movies, play games, make a fun snack or do crafts. Physical activity is also a great distraction, so why not have a dance off?! Exercise helps make you tired and sleep will come easier. By keeping busy, not only will you keep your mind off of home, but you’ll set yourself up for catching some zzzs.


Remember This

Remember, you ARE going to be safe staying at your friend’s house. Nothing will happen to you and you’ll be OK. It’s all about getting through that first night away from home. From there, branch out a little more. Maybe try a friend who lives farther away. Maybe this summer if you’re invited to stay with a relative or friend at the beach or out of town, take a chance and go for it, knowing your parents are always around if you need to call them.


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Downside to Sleepovers?

  • Havin' to lug all my stuff to my friend's house.
  • Being the first one to fall asleep and gettin' my undies frozen!
  • Brushin' my teeth in the same room as my friend's creepy brother.
  • There's no downside to hanging with friends all night.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

SmartSunnyShadow
I have one so annoying sister, that it feels like I have 200 of them, oh my god. She's pounding on the door right now, HELP! 
reply about 11 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
Dad, obviously. I can't even explain what he does to me!
reply about 11 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
Well, if they are your BFFs, they shouldn't be teasing you to make you feel bad. Me, and my BFFs tease each other all the time playfully, but I understand that this is different, and if it's making you feel bad it isn't playful at all.   Maybe your eldest friend is having some trouble with family issues, bad grades, body changes, etc. It's okay to be angry, so maybe you should leave her space for a few days, and see if it turns better. If it isn't, then try to first make her calm down. Then, make her talk to you about why she is so angry and ask if you can try to help. If nothing turns out better, tell her that you feel uncomfortable, and you want her to talk to you.  For your 3rd eldest friend, support her as much as possible, and stand up for her in this terrible situation. If you are all BFFs, then you should all be very close and comfortable around each other, and the fight shouldn't last long. If not, they are not your real friends, and you have to go on without them. I have tons of advice on how to make new friends, so just ask me if you want to know. Your 2nd eldest friend seems to be the main problem.  First of all, tell her to stop, and say how you don't like her bullying you. You must say what she is doing wrong, and how it makes you feel. If she doesn't care, tell her you're serious, and you hate what she is doing to you. If it continues, ignore what trash she is saying, and just simply walk away. Focus on other things that will help make you feel better. Remember, all she is is a person, and it's up to you to act appropriately.  Stay positive, and calm. Focus on other things, and if she continues, tell her that you can all be friends and you miss her. Go get another friend to stand up with you, and tell her that you will report to an adult if she won't stop. She may be your friend, but she deserves it. I told on my BFF when she was mean, so it's all okay now.  If all else fails, get a trusted adult, and hang out with nicer friends. Your other friends will learn from their mistakes. If not, warn them, and give them a sincere kindness note of how you miss being friends. Then, also give one to the bully.
reply about 11 hours
AnnaOfExquizurd
Yeah, @CyclonicBass the best option really is to find a girl with a quirky personality. Become friends with her. Possibly, over time, she'll grow close to you and accept a request to be with you. Hope it goes well!
reply 1 day
drowning
You go out and you find someone who you can be you with. It's not a hard question to find the answer too.
reply 1 day