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Dear Dish-it: Scared of Sleepovers

Dear Dish-it,


One of my BFFs is having a hotel party/sleepover. I am totally scared! I've been to a hotel party already but that was in Grade 3 and I’m going into Grade 8 now! I don’t know what I am scared of…please help!


Lovely_Ladiie


Dear Lovely_Ladiie,


You’re definitely not alone. I used to be scared of sleepovers, too. I’d get homesick from across the street, and I had tons of trouble sleeping in any place that wasn’t my own room.


What helped me get over my fear was starting small (from guest rooms and up), bringing a few of my favorite belongings to make a strange bed seem more like home and keeping busy with my friends so my mind wasn’t on the distance.


Baby Steps

The best way to get over any fear is to confront it. It’s important to get over this fear now rather than later so you don’t miss out on fun opportunities. While you may not get over your fear overnight, you CAN and WILL get over it with time.


Start by sleeping over at a friend’s house in your own neighborhood, and let her (and her parents) know upfront that you may get a little homesick. Fill your own mom and dad in, too, so they’ll be ready in case you call them to come and pick you up.


From there, make a plan. Plan where you’ll sleep and choose some things from home that’ll help you drift off. For example, bringing your own pillow and teddy bear can totally help. Ask your parents if you can call them if you don’t feel so great; just knowing you have something to fall back on will calm those nerves. Then get ready to have a really fun night.


Busy Bee

When you’re at your friend’s place make a point to stay busy and distracted. Watch movies, play games, make a fun snack or do crafts. Physical activity is also a great distraction, so why not have a dance off?! Exercise helps make you tired and sleep will come easier. By keeping busy, not only will you keep your mind off of home, but you’ll set yourself up for catching some zzzs.


Remember This

Remember, you ARE going to be safe staying at your friend’s house. Nothing will happen to you and you’ll be OK. It’s all about getting through that first night away from home. From there, branch out a little more. Maybe try a friend who lives farther away. Maybe this summer if you’re invited to stay with a relative or friend at the beach or out of town, take a chance and go for it, knowing your parents are always around if you need to call them.


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Downside to Sleepovers?

  • Havin' to lug all my stuff to my friend's house.
  • Being the first one to fall asleep and gettin' my undies frozen!
  • Brushin' my teeth in the same room as my friend's creepy brother.
  • There's no downside to hanging with friends all night.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

drowning
"SatanslilDemon" wrote: Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice??? It's really nice that your mother supports it, that always helps!! I'm glad that your family enjoys his company as well. Being 16 while he's 20 is alright. It's a slight odd age gap. But, I think as long as you both are ready, it's alright. Make sure you're mature and safe with your choices though. Personally, I think you should wait until you're closer to at least, 17. But, as long as you two are smart about what you're doing, it should be alright when it come around to it.
reply 2 days
fitta
"Shygirl15" wrote:I really like this boy in my second period class but i dont know how to tell him because he knows that im transgender do whatever makes you feel comfortable or just wing it and tell him and if he tells you something because you're trans forget about him! He doesn't deserve you. But it's totally okay if you want to play it safe and not go up to him. You do you. :3 
reply 2 days
fitta
"SatanslilDemon" wrote: Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice??? i suggest you wait i mean you are going to be 16 that's way too young to be dating someone who is 4/5 years older than you,no? You can still talk to him when it comes to your anxiety attacks and all of that because I have those too every night so I know how it feels, but maybe you should wait. But at the end of the day it's your decision I'm just here to give advice 
reply 2 days
SatanslilDemon
Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice???
reply 2 days
SmartSunnyShadow
I feel like that too. My best friend will always hang out with her 'new friends' that I have a really bad opinion about. My friend will treat me rudely all the time and sometimes make fun of me with her friends. But, when I needed her the most in my life, she was there for me, and I told her how I felt. She says that she just wants to hang out with more people and apologized, people can be a little teasy at times.  Also, after seeing each other for a long time, people make new friends and start hanging out with them more, it doesn't mean that she doesn't like you.  This may be different for you, but just tell her about it, she will have to know you feelings at one point.  Hope I helped you. 
reply 2 days