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Dear Dish-It: My Friends Are Being Abused

Dear Dish-it,


My friend and her sisters are being abused by their drunk dad. My best friend told me this and I know she wouldn't lie about this. She told me not to tell but I am scared it will get worse. What should I do?


Confused Lee


Dear Confused Lee,


Since you heard this information second-hand (meaning, you didn't hear it straight from the person or people who are supposedly being abused but, rather, from a friend of theirs (your BFF)), I think the first thing you need to do is double-check with your BFF and ask her why she thinks these girls are being abused by their dad. Abuse is a pretty serious allegation to make, and you do need to be sure that you have some reason to believe that it's really happening in your friends' home. I'm not saying your BFF would lie to you (or anyone) about this, but I hope you see the importance of trying to find out the truth before you take it to the next level.


The best way to find out the truth is to talk to the girls who are supposedly being abused themselves. If you don't feel comfortable asking, get your BFF to speak to them, or ask them together. (Also, if you feel uncomfortable about asking them about it, think of the alternative, which is NOT asking and letting the abuse - i9f it's really happening - continue.) Once you get some PROOF or EVIDENCE (which makes you believe for sure, for sure that something bad is going on in that home), then it's time to tell someone - an adult you can trust to do take the necessary actions to stop the abuse.


If you feel like it isn't your place or your right to tell anyone what's happening, get your BFF - who seems to be the person the girls went to when they needed to talk to someone about being abused - to do it or, again, do it together. Or, you can tell your friends that, if they're being abused, they need to tell an adult THEY can trust, like their mom, a school counselor, a help crisis line or a police officer. Explain to them that if they don't tell, then you're going to have to go to an adult yourself, because you should never know about someone being abused and not do anything about it.


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Poll

Do You Know Someone Who's Being Neglected?

  • My parents are constantly neglecting me.
  • My friend's parents are very neglectful.
  • Sometimes I feel neglected, but I know I've got it pretty good.
  • No, I don't know anyone who's being neglected.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

jordand08
jordand08 posted in Friends:
Next time she tells you, see if you can find any evidence that she did, bruise etc.  even if you find nothing that doesn't mean she hasn't. But she or you should tell an adult, or someone you can trust that is older. 
reply about 2 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
"RavenClawRaina" wrote:Here for the past year, i have been having bad memory problems and rlly bad grades cuz i can never focus. I looked up my symptoms and showed my mom that I might have APD ( auditory processing disorder ). She said we will get it looked into but still hasnt becuz we have had my brothers friend move in with us becuz his adoptive dad beat him and its been putting stress on my mom and she doesnt want to deal with it. I need help in school but no matter how the teachers word things i cant get it. How do I make my mom listen to me and take me to the doctor? Its been getting worst too. I have had problems remembering what we did the day before is certain classes. HELP ME!  At first, I thought it sounded like ADD, but it wouldn't effect your memory like it is. If not, catch your mom while she's not rushing around. Maybe before she goes to bed or while she's making dinner. Maybe even while she's sitting down or send her a text for her to see when she can. I wish the best of luck with the stress! It most likely doesn't help with the APD; stress can add to just about any condition!
reply 1 day
drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
"iiDeadxInside" wrote:I refused to talk to anyone else besides my friends, and my family. I would advise you to try and reach out to other authorities than friends and family. They'll be able to do more.
reply 1 day
RavenClawRaina
Here for the past year, i have been having bad memory problems and rlly bad grades cuz i can never focus. I looked up my symptoms and showed my mom that I might have APD ( auditory processing disorder ). She said we will get it looked into but still hasnt becuz we have had my brothers friend move in with us becuz his adoptive dad beat him and its been putting stress on my mom and she doesnt want to deal with it. I need help in school but no matter how the teachers word things i cant get it. How do I make my mom listen to me and take me to the doctor? Its been getting worst too. I have had problems remembering what we did the day before is certain classes. HELP ME! 
reply 1 day
iiDeadxInside
I refused to talk to anyone else besides my friends, and my family.
reply 1 day