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Dear Dish-It: My Friends Are Being Abused

Dear Dish-it,


My friend and her sisters are being abused by their drunk dad. My best friend told me this and I know she wouldn't lie about this. She told me not to tell but I am scared it will get worse. What should I do?


Confused Lee


Dear Confused Lee,


Since you heard this information second-hand (meaning, you didn't hear it straight from the person or people who are supposedly being abused but, rather, from a friend of theirs (your BFF)), I think the first thing you need to do is double-check with your BFF and ask her why she thinks these girls are being abused by their dad. Abuse is a pretty serious allegation to make, and you do need to be sure that you have some reason to believe that it's really happening in your friends' home. I'm not saying your BFF would lie to you (or anyone) about this, but I hope you see the importance of trying to find out the truth before you take it to the next level.


The best way to find out the truth is to talk to the girls who are supposedly being abused themselves. If you don't feel comfortable asking, get your BFF to speak to them, or ask them together. (Also, if you feel uncomfortable about asking them about it, think of the alternative, which is NOT asking and letting the abuse - i9f it's really happening - continue.) Once you get some PROOF or EVIDENCE (which makes you believe for sure, for sure that something bad is going on in that home), then it's time to tell someone - an adult you can trust to do take the necessary actions to stop the abuse.


If you feel like it isn't your place or your right to tell anyone what's happening, get your BFF - who seems to be the person the girls went to when they needed to talk to someone about being abused - to do it or, again, do it together. Or, you can tell your friends that, if they're being abused, they need to tell an adult THEY can trust, like their mom, a school counselor, a help crisis line or a police officer. Explain to them that if they don't tell, then you're going to have to go to an adult yourself, because you should never know about someone being abused and not do anything about it.


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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

CoolerThanMyself
I'm a 12 year old girl with really strict parents! I do chores( even handling BLEACH sometimes) , I take care of my little brother, I'm in top set for all my classes- even on the gifted and talented register and I've only ever had 1 detention- and that was their fault anyway bc I was late( they drive). But, I'm still NEVER allowed out with my friends! My friends are all in top sets as well, are well behaved and all we literally would do is window shopping. I mean, there are my age smoking shisha and doing #####- they should be lucky I'm not a delinquent! But my parents always say I can't hang out. Not because they're worried about my safety, they just dont want me to go out.! Even sleepovers, my parents always say no because they ' haven't met the parents" but they make NO effort to do so. I'm losing out on knowing my friends better and whilst they're all making best friends, at school I'm just the person in the background- the left out friend. It hurts and most of the time I wish I was fostered or something. How can I make them loosen up? ( don't say anything about sneaking out because I chose life)
reply about 3 hours
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
Is there a particular reason or situation causing you to feel this way? I can't provide much advice other than talk to them about it. Communication is important.
reply about 22 hours
Arenl
Arenl posted in Friends:
He is a jerk, but then what ?? He is your best friend . Maybe you should tell him to sleep for an extra hour. It may be a lack of sleep.
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KittyCheshire
KittyCheshire posted in Friends:
My BFFEL (best friend for eternal life) is being a jerk after we have been friends for a long time. What should I do?
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PittsburghPenguinsFanatic
"aftershock" wrote: "NicolletteA" wrote: no. and you sound like the marketing people that stop me at the mall.  :/ lol, I'm not, i just kno someone whos making a new app and wanted to see if any1 would use it.   BTW what do u say to the marketing people at the mall? No. I don't like those people at the mall. Sometimes, they ask my family and I (usually directed at my mom and sister, but sometimes at me, too. Even though I'm under 13. Not for long though.) if they want their hair done. And sometimes I'm so tempted to say, "No thank you. I did my hair today. Do you think I want it done?" But of course I never do. It's kinda disrespectful. So we just usually say No thank you. My mom, sister, and I now have a solution for that (my idea when I was maybe ages 9-11) Don't make eye contact with them and pretend that they aren't there.
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