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Dear Dish-It: Secret Santa

Dec 13, 2010

Dear Dish-it,


In our class we do Secret Santa, where you buy gifts for someone. We had to pick names out of a hat; I got the school bully. I hate her. What do I do?


Unhappy Santa


Dear Unhappy Santa,


If you ask me (which you did), the holidays are a great time to try to love and forgive the people in your life – even those that haven’t been very nice to you all year. Have you ever heard the saying, “Kill them with kindness?” Basically, it means that in order to get someone to be nicer to you, being mean back to them doesn’t work as well as being extra super nice to them – essentially what you are doing is treating them the way you would want to be treated yourself. I’m sure you’ve heard of a second saying that goes: “Two wrong don’t make a right.” THAT means that being mean back to a bully usually doesn’t work. Better to fix the problem by being nice – especially at Christmas time.


So here’s what I think you should do. Since the whole idea behind Secret Santa is that the person you give a gift to will never know it’s from you (it’s supposed to stay a secret), I think you should get the school bully something really cool – something you know she’d like to have. And if you feel like you want to get your point across to her – that bullying is not nice – now’s your perfect chance! Write a card and attach it to the gift. Don’t be mean or try and teach her a lesson – rather, write something like, “Merry Christmas! I hope we can all be nice to each other this year. I think you’d be a great friend!” It doesn’t have to be exactly that, but you get the point. DON’T sign your name – just keep it a secret and she’ll never know who wrote it. But maybe it will get her thinking about being nicer to you and your classmates!


Sound Off

What do you think Unhappy Santa should do? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!


More Great Advice
31 Comments

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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

skylar245
skylar245 posted in Friends:
"rainbowpoptart" wrote: "skylar245" wrote: Teacher said to wait for the Bus Driver and the counselor, she just talks to me and doesn't tell The Princible Then maybe try telling the principal yourself, and you should also report that the driver, teacher, and counselor haven't done anything to help you. If that fails, tell another trusted adult, like your mother. I'm sure someone you're close to would do their best to get justice. This is a major problem and it's a shame no one's done anything to help. ​No one listens to me anyway but my friends
reply about 23 hours
rainbowpoptart
rainbowpoptart posted in Friends:
"skylar245" wrote:Teacher said to wait for the Bus Driver and the counselor, she just talks to me and doesn't tell The Princible Then maybe try telling the principal yourself, and you should also report that the driver, teacher, and counselor haven't done anything to help you. If that fails, tell another trusted adult, like your mother. I'm sure someone you're close to would do their best to get justice. This is a major problem and it's a shame no one's done anything to help.
reply about 23 hours
skylar245
skylar245 posted in Friends:
"rainbowpoptart" wrote: "skylar245" wrote: My bus driver does NOTHING about it EVEN IF HE SEE'S IT! he only wrote the two girls up but not the girl that hit me Then report them to a teacher or the school counselor. Behaviour like that is not acceptable in the slightest. ​Teacher said to wait for the Bus Driver and the counselor, she just talks to me and doesn't tell The Princible
reply about 23 hours
rainbowpoptart
rainbowpoptart posted in Friends:
"skylar245" wrote:My bus driver does NOTHING about it EVEN IF HE SEE'S IT! he only wrote the two girls up but not the girl that hit me Then report them to a teacher or the school counselor. Behaviour like that is not acceptable in the slightest.
reply about 23 hours
skylar245
skylar245 posted in Friends:
"rainbowpoptart" wrote: "skylar245" wrote: Rainbowpoptart they don't just say things, it CAN get physical for a few days! like once someone punched me in shoulder because I blocked them hitting my stomach, and two girls who shall remain nameless fought on the bus, Physical? Well my gosh, report them to an authority figure! You can't let them get away with that kind of stuff. ​My bus driver does NOTHING about it EVEN IF HE SEE'S IT! he only wrote the two girls up but not the girl that hit me
reply about 23 hours