Dear Dish-It: Secret Santa

Dec 13, 2010

Dear Dish-it,

In our class we do Secret Santa, where you buy gifts for someone. We had to pick names out of a hat; I got the school bully. I hate her. What do I do?

Unhappy Santa

Dear Unhappy Santa,

If you ask me (which you did), the holidays are a great time to try to love and forgive the people in your life – even those that haven’t been very nice to you all year. Have you ever heard the saying, “Kill them with kindness?” Basically, it means that in order to get someone to be nicer to you, being mean back to them doesn’t work as well as being extra super nice to them – essentially what you are doing is treating them the way you would want to be treated yourself. I’m sure you’ve heard of a second saying that goes: “Two wrong don’t make a right.” THAT means that being mean back to a bully usually doesn’t work. Better to fix the problem by being nice – especially at Christmas time.

So here’s what I think you should do. Since the whole idea behind Secret Santa is that the person you give a gift to will never know it’s from you (it’s supposed to stay a secret), I think you should get the school bully something really cool – something you know she’d like to have. And if you feel like you want to get your point across to her – that bullying is not nice – now’s your perfect chance! Write a card and attach it to the gift. Don’t be mean or try and teach her a lesson – rather, write something like, “Merry Christmas! I hope we can all be nice to each other this year. I think you’d be a great friend!” It doesn’t have to be exactly that, but you get the point. DON’T sign your name – just keep it a secret and she’ll never know who wrote it. But maybe it will get her thinking about being nicer to you and your classmates!

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What do you think Unhappy Santa should do? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

jenif3 posted in Family Issues:
:sad [s:p/1kqa] [s:p/1kqa] [s:p/1kqa] [s:p/1kqa]
reply about 3 hours
Delancy posted in Friends:
Calm down. Ignore her. You are YOU, don't let anyone change you. If someone hurts, cry a river and build a bridge over it cx
reply 1 day
hello dish-it i hope i not bothering rita im 16 year old and i have autism.i get bullyed a lot. this has been happening online.this girl said that i was crazy and that freddie mercury (queen lead singer) wouldnt love me cause i have autism.i am queen and freddie mercury's #1 fan.the girl said no body would believe me and it made me so upset i had a autistic meltdown.what do i do,please help.  
reply 1 day
EndlessDream posted in Friends:
Hmmm....Then she mustn't be necessarily "using" you, if she is not getting something in return ( As far as we know of). However, It does sound like she is being extremely unfair. That just might be how she is. Not exactly loyal to anyone. Well, try to talk to her about it and tell her how you feel. And, if it doesn't work out, then she might not be a great friend to hang around with, and maybe you will find someone else who enjoys your company. I hope this helps, and good luck :)
reply 3 days
XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
No not really. Like I said, one minute she's all smiley and then she doesn't even look at me. Most of the time I see her with Daniela and Andrea. Today she was asking me if I was going to hang out with her, Daniela, Andrea and Luisa during recess. When I told her that I was 'going to have to think' she was like, "Whatever." and ran off to catch up with the Threesome. Thanks. :)
reply 3 days

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