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Dear Dish-It: Secret Santa

Dec 13, 2010

Dear Dish-it,


In our class we do Secret Santa, where you buy gifts for someone. We had to pick names out of a hat; I got the school bully. I hate her. What do I do?


Unhappy Santa


Dear Unhappy Santa,


If you ask me (which you did), the holidays are a great time to try to love and forgive the people in your life – even those that haven’t been very nice to you all year. Have you ever heard the saying, “Kill them with kindness?” Basically, it means that in order to get someone to be nicer to you, being mean back to them doesn’t work as well as being extra super nice to them – essentially what you are doing is treating them the way you would want to be treated yourself. I’m sure you’ve heard of a second saying that goes: “Two wrong don’t make a right.” THAT means that being mean back to a bully usually doesn’t work. Better to fix the problem by being nice – especially at Christmas time.


So here’s what I think you should do. Since the whole idea behind Secret Santa is that the person you give a gift to will never know it’s from you (it’s supposed to stay a secret), I think you should get the school bully something really cool – something you know she’d like to have. And if you feel like you want to get your point across to her – that bullying is not nice – now’s your perfect chance! Write a card and attach it to the gift. Don’t be mean or try and teach her a lesson – rather, write something like, “Merry Christmas! I hope we can all be nice to each other this year. I think you’d be a great friend!” It doesn’t have to be exactly that, but you get the point. DON’T sign your name – just keep it a secret and she’ll never know who wrote it. But maybe it will get her thinking about being nicer to you and your classmates!


Sound Off

What do you think Unhappy Santa should do? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!


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Dear Dish-It in the forums

kittenkid
First: WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T KILL YOUSELF! When you get past this you'll be glad. Well, this is just my opinion, but I think you should first find someone, anyone, even if you don't trust them, if there're your parents talk to them about it. I bet a bunch of people have already told you this but there're right. Before you walk up to them, write down what you're going to say and then think of a few questions they might ask and write down the answers to them. Remember to tell them that it might take you a minute to think of an answer. Before you answer, think of the exact words you will say  before you say anything, and think in your mind about it. Think about wether it is a lie or not before you say it. If it gets out of you mouth before you realize it is a lie, don't be afraid to say so and just say the truth. Also, just try to find something you like to do that will take your mind off everything. If you really can't think of anything, try just practicing saying your feelings to yourself, or a pillow or something.  Hope this helps!
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