Dear Dish-It: My Friend Ignores Me for the Computer

Dear Dish-It,

Whenever I go to my friend’s house she just ignores me for the computer. She has a trampoline … I want to use it! I don’t want to watch her play Sims 3 all day. What should I do?

tired of being bored

Dear tobb,

Everyone seems to be so into playing computer and video games these days … sometimes it seems like these things take over every part of our lives, kind of like an addiction! I’m happy to hear that you have other interests … as far as your friend goes, there are a few things you can try to do to get her attention away from the screen and back onto you!

Talk to Her

If you haven’t tried talking to your friend about what’s bothering you yet, now is the time. Pick a moment when she isn’t fixated on a game. Ask her to please hear you out, then tell her how you feel that you are being ignored in as nice a way as possible. Let her know that you totally understand how much fun playing games on the computer can be, but say that you would like to set aside certain times to do other things together. Then, let her have a chance to say how she feels and see if you can work out a plan together.

Invite Her Over

This problem may be solved by inviting your friend over to your house instead of going to her place. Since you’ll be on your own “turf,” you can set some rules about how much time you spend on the computer and how much time you spend doing other things. Just make sure to compromise by agreeing to spend one hour playing video games and one hour doing something else – try not to be bossy about it. No one likes being friends with someone who always wants things their way!

Make a Plan

The same kind of plan could work at your friend’s house, too. Once you’ve talked to her and let her know how you feel, try to come to an agreement about how much time you’ll spend playing computer games when you are at her house and how much time you’ll spend doing something that you want to do – like jumping on the trampoline. I bet that once you get your friend away from her computer and doing something else, she’ll agree that there are plenty of other ways to spend time with friends than playing Sims 3!

Have Your Say

Has this ever happened to you? Got any good advice for tired of being bored? Leave your comment below!

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

EndlessDream posted in Friends:
Hmmm....Then she mustn't be necessarily "using" you, if she is not getting something in return ( As far as we know of). However, It does sound like she is being extremely unfair. That just might be how she is. Not exactly loyal to anyone. Well, try to talk to her about it and tell her how you feel. And, if it doesn't work out, then she might not be a great friend to hang around with, and maybe you will find someone else who enjoys your company. I hope this helps, and good luck :)
reply about 10 hours
XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
No not really. Like I said, one minute she's all smiley and then she doesn't even look at me. Most of the time I see her with Daniela and Andrea. Today she was asking me if I was going to hang out with her, Daniela, Andrea and Luisa during recess. When I told her that I was 'going to have to think' she was like, "Whatever." and ran off to catch up with the Threesome. Thanks. :)
reply about 10 hours
EndlessDream posted in Friends:
Is she asking you to do things for her? Like help with homework, carry her books and so on?
reply about 10 hours
XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
This is gonna be long:   I have this 'friend' Amelia. She and I bonded really fast last year and we've become inseparable.   But lately she's blowing me off and my other best friend Belen told me: Amelia is actually using you. She does this to new kids at school, especially from foreign countries. She thinks because you're Chinese and the Chinese teacher's daughter, you'll help her. She's also using you as a backup friend - a substitute. There's this new girl Daniela, who Amelia thinks is her new best friend. She thinks that when Daniela stop hanging out with her, she'll have you.   The thing is, Daniela is pretty nice and she probably doesn't know all the trouble she's causing. Belen's old 'best friend' Andrea is doing the same to her.   I also learned that Amelia is seemingly the 'most popular girl in school' because she's mean to everyone. She always passes by the little kids' classrooms and hugs them & stuff. They seem to love her, but now I know it's because they think if they're nice they won't get bullied.   Maybe she WAS using me but I dunno. Belen says that each kid in the entire school has a bad story about Amelia and something she did to them. I said, "Then how was she so nice to me last year?" Then Belen was all like, "She was using you."   I don't know if she's telling the truth. She and Amelia are deadly enemies and she might be making up the whole Amelia story just to get back at her. Although Amelia has been dropping a few signs that she IS using me as a substitute friend.   Sometimes when I walk in, she'll be like "OOOOHHH! CASSANDRA! HI! HOW ARE YOU! C'MON, LOOK AT THIS! WE'RE GONNA HAVE SOOOO MUCH FUN TOGETHER ..."   And other times I'm like, "Hey, Amelia!" and she says, "Oh. Huh? Yeah, hi ..."  Once during PE we had to sit down and on the way to the gym, she was chatting with me in a BBBBFFFF way. But then when we had to partner up she said with Andrea, Daniela and someone else who I forgot.   I don't know what to do. It's just so weird. Even though now I know she MIGHT be using me (I'm not sure if she really is) it just seems WEIRD. Even for a supposed ##### she was my possibly fake best friend for the whole of last year. It's WEIRD to suddenly switch.   I don't even know if this should be happening. We've only just started 5th grade. Doesn't this WEIRD #### start happening around middle school? Thank you, everyone who will help in advance. P.S. Please include flirting advice. - A Girl Who Might Just Lose Her Possibly Fake Best Friend
reply about 11 hours
Okay I have school today and my hair is not sitting how I want it to. But my mum says it is sitting fine WHEN ITS NOT! SHE IS NOT LISTENING what do i do?
reply about 12 hours

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