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Dear Dish-It: My Brother is Autistic

Apr 23, 2012

Dear Dish-It,

I have an autistic brother who doesn’t feel comfortable anywhere. At school he sits by himself, so I always ask him if he wants to sit with me and my friends. Anyone who’s a jerk to him either doesn’t know he's autistic or they just don’t care, so I’m always protective. He always comes to me for advice and I’m one of the few people he’s comfortable being around. It’s not that I’m getting sick of it – I really enjoy his company. But are there ways to get him to be more comfortable about everything? I’d like to see him some day sitting with his friends and inviting me over – that’d be awesome!

PSS

Dear PSS,

Wow, it sounds like you’re a really great sibling to your brother! I think that you are doing everything right so far – including your brother in the things that you do and making sure that he doesn’t feel alone or left out is a great way to show him that you love and support him, no matter what.

In terms of helping him to be more comfortable in social situations on his own, I suggest you speak to your parents or family doctor about what you can do. Maybe there’s even a counselor at your school who knows something about autism and can give you some advice. There are also some great books out there written especially for kids who have autistic siblings; I strongly suggest checking some of these out from the library (ask the librarian to help you find them, or look on your local library’s computer system) or reading similar information online to get more tips from the experts.

Last but not least, if it’s possible and you haven’t tried it before, how about speaking directly to your brother about what he would find helpful in terms of making him feel better being in certain social situations? Or maybe ask him if there are any special activities or things that the two of you can do together that he would really enjoy … having you there to support him may make him feel better and more confident about himself around other people.

Like I said, I think you’re doing a great job being a caring support for your big brother; he’s certainly lucky to have you in his life, and I’m sure you feel the same way about him! It may take some patience and a lot of support and encouragement, but in time I am sure you and your brother can go a long way in helping him to find his own place in the world!

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for PSS? Leave your comment below!

 

Thanks,

Dear Dish it

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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

AimeeJury
AimeeJury posted in Style:
i'm ginger sadly i had brown hair when i was born though
reply about 6 hours
6thBeatle
6thBeatle posted in Style:
Black. I'm a Filipino.
reply about 7 hours
6thBeatle
Don't worry too, you'll grow up too and live on your own, I noticed that my aunt is unfair to children (except to her child) and I can't wait to be an adult (she's afraid to adults). And when you grow up, don't make revenge to your parents, I know that you still love them. Trust me, things would get worse if you make revenge.
reply about 7 hours
6thBeatle
I understand you, but those things are worse than my experience. I am a very lonely nerd and I don't have friends. When my mom goes to work she leaves me with my unfair aunt. My aunt is so unfair, she always blames me and ignores my explanations, she always defends my 5 year old cousin even though she's wrong. She's so unfair I wanted to drink bleach or hang myself but I realized that there are more people who love me. When I was months old or maybe 1 year old my dad broke up with my mom because our family doesn't like him because he hurts my mom physically, called my grandpa a liar even though my dad knows how honest he is, and he always blamed things on me when I was a baby. I met him a month ago (maybe), and we were supposed to talk about important thing like if why he left me and other stuff like that, but instead he boasted about being the best pilot in the airport, he did nothing but boast. I never want to meet him again. My problem with my mom is that she hurts me horribly like jumping on my back, and she says hurtful things like she wanted me to die and that she loves her boyfriend (who is a jerk) more than me. I have to admit, I'm the one who started the mess, but that's no way to discipline your child. I apologized to her, but she is still pulling my hair. After we relaxed for about 40 minutes, she apologized. That's it, but my mom is really hard working and is very patient to me (but when it's too much, she gets crazy). There's always a good side of someone. I hope that there are more of your relatives and friends who love you, my advice is to write a letter to your parents, and if it didn't work well, you could always talk to the guidance in your school or your teacher, that's the only one I could think of.
reply about 7 hours
QveenAvi
QveenAvi posted in Family Issues:
The way they are doing it is wrong,however it sounds like your parents really love you and really want the best for you. they have faith in you. when you get a 3 if they know that you can get a 4 so they address you want it. not that they don't love you.Your parents were the ones who raised you and introduced you to this life so you should always respect them and think them as your god.
reply about 17 hours