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Dear Dish-It: I’m the Middle Kid

Jan 30, 2012

Dear Dish-It,

I’m the middle child in my family and my siblings pick on me constantly. They toss me in the pool, put nail polish on me when I’m sleeping and cause mayhem around the house – and I get the blame. How can I stand up to them?

Jay

Dear Jay,

This sounds like a classic case of middle child syndrome; you’re not the oldest (usually the “boss”) or the youngest (often the “baby”), so where exactly do you fit into the family? It just so happens that I’m a middle kid, too … here’s my best advice to you.

Write it Down

One of the best ways to deal with your bad feelings about being the middle kid is to get a diary or a journal and jot down your thoughts. If your siblings pick on you, write it down. If they make a mess and try to blame you for it, write that down, too. Writing can help you express your anger in a positive way – you may find that this simple act calms you down and makes you feel better about the whole situation all on its own.

Tell Mom & Dad

The next thing I suggest you do is try talking to your parents about how you feel. Your mom and dad love the three of you equally, so expressing to them how your older and younger sibling pick on you and leave you out may ease the situation a bit. After all, your parents are there to act as “referees” between the three of you kids – they may have suggestions or ideas on how to make things better for everyone in the family.

Make Your Own Friends

You probably have plenty of chances to make friends of your own – outside of your family. Besides the kids in your class at school, how about joining a sports team or club or doing some other kind of after-school activity that you like, and meeting some new people that way? Then, on weekends, you can spend time with your friends instead of hanging out with your siblings all day long … wouldn’t that be nice?!

Give it Time

It may be hard to believe right now but, in time, you’ll probably find that you and your siblings become better and better friends. By the time we grow up and reach adulthood, the problems and tensions we felt with our brothers and sisters disappear, and they become our BFFs in life. Give it time and you’ll see – your middle child syndrome will likely get better all on its own.

Have Your Say

Has this ever happened to you? Got any good advice for Jay? Leave your comment below!

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

-Gwen9--
-Gwen9-- posted in Friends:
"jordand08" wrote:Thank you.You're welcome. :)
reply 12 minutes
donteatcarrots
talk to the person you're closest too. yes, you said you don't get close with people, but there's probably one person who you speak to more often than others- talk to that person.
reply about 2 hours
donteatcarrots
donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
Don't worry too much- it's only your first relationship- but I'd sit down with him at one point, and discuss what makes you uncomfortable, eg; if you know what I mean...
reply about 2 hours
donteatcarrots
donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
Probably sound a little stereotypical, but the majority of boys don't really act like that... Ask him :p
reply about 2 hours
kittenkid
First: WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T KILL YOUSELF! When you get past this you'll be glad. Well, this is just my opinion, but I think you should first find someone, anyone, even if you don't trust them, if there're your parents talk to them about it. I bet a bunch of people have already told you this but there're right. Before you walk up to them, write down what you're going to say and then think of a few questions they might ask and write down the answers to them. Remember to tell them that it might take you a minute to think of an answer. Before you answer, think of the exact words you will say  before you say anything, and think in your mind about it. Think about wether it is a lie or not before you say it. If it gets out of you mouth before you realize it is a lie, don't be afraid to say so and just say the truth. Also, just try to find something you like to do that will take your mind off everything. If you really can't think of anything, try just practicing saying your feelings to yourself, or a pillow or something.  Hope this helps!
reply about 4 hours

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