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Dear Dish-It: I’m the Middle Kid

Jan 30, 2012

Dear Dish-It,

I’m the middle child in my family and my siblings pick on me constantly. They toss me in the pool, put nail polish on me when I’m sleeping and cause mayhem around the house – and I get the blame. How can I stand up to them?

Jay

Dear Jay,

This sounds like a classic case of middle child syndrome; you’re not the oldest (usually the “boss”) or the youngest (often the “baby”), so where exactly do you fit into the family? It just so happens that I’m a middle kid, too … here’s my best advice to you.

Write it Down

One of the best ways to deal with your bad feelings about being the middle kid is to get a diary or a journal and jot down your thoughts. If your siblings pick on you, write it down. If they make a mess and try to blame you for it, write that down, too. Writing can help you express your anger in a positive way – you may find that this simple act calms you down and makes you feel better about the whole situation all on its own.

Tell Mom & Dad

The next thing I suggest you do is try talking to your parents about how you feel. Your mom and dad love the three of you equally, so expressing to them how your older and younger sibling pick on you and leave you out may ease the situation a bit. After all, your parents are there to act as “referees” between the three of you kids – they may have suggestions or ideas on how to make things better for everyone in the family.

Make Your Own Friends

You probably have plenty of chances to make friends of your own – outside of your family. Besides the kids in your class at school, how about joining a sports team or club or doing some other kind of after-school activity that you like, and meeting some new people that way? Then, on weekends, you can spend time with your friends instead of hanging out with your siblings all day long … wouldn’t that be nice?!

Give it Time

It may be hard to believe right now but, in time, you’ll probably find that you and your siblings become better and better friends. By the time we grow up and reach adulthood, the problems and tensions we felt with our brothers and sisters disappear, and they become our BFFs in life. Give it time and you’ll see – your middle child syndrome will likely get better all on its own.

Have Your Say

Has this ever happened to you? Got any good advice for Jay? Leave your comment below!

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Comments

biancaloves

biancaloves wrote:

I'm a middle child i know how you feel except I'm the middle out of 8. me and my sister...
commented: Sun Feb 16, 2014

Jelly3

Jelly3 wrote:

Ur soooo lucky!!!i want to be a middle child :(!!!
commented: Mon Apr 08, 2013

CoolerThanMyself
luv being the middle kid cos im special.hav a lil bro and big sis
commented: Mon Apr 08, 2013

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

XxIHateMathxX
XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
I like Harry Potter too.  :)
reply 30 minutes
young fee
young fee posted in Friends:
I think you can not be sure he likes you. take me as an example theres this girl in my class who i talk to everyday. Now i see her as a sister and i have and will go to lengths just to make sure shes okay and her boyfriend doesnt hurt her. This might be what is happening in your situation so i advice that you wait a bit longer because him loooking at you may mean that he likes you and is waiting for the right time to tell you. Meanwhile you can get closer to him and flirt once in a while to asure that him you also like him (that is if he isnt sure). And dont worry if he doesnt like you back its better to have a friend who cares about you than a boyfriend who doesnt like you that much and is dreaming about someone else.
reply about 1 hour
heyitsangel
heyitsangel posted in Style:
Both
reply about 9 hours
InternetOwl
What part of it are you scared of? Is it eating in public and around other people, or just eating in general?  What it might be, if it's eating in public you don't like, is social anxiety, or social phobia. You should ask your doctor to check, because if it is, they can offer you ways to help. For instance, they might recommend therapists or group sessions to help ease your fear.  Even if it's just a phobia or, in unlikelier circumstances, an eating disorder, you should still go to your doctor or a therapist so you can try to overcome it. Try doing things that calm you down before these situations as well, like exercise, reading or listening to music (I'm not sure what relaxes you but sometimes these help). Also, you should try to slowly get used to the situations. So don't force yourself to eat straight away when you're out, but slowly start doing so whenever your comfortable with doing so. Unlike your mum wants, you can't just "stop" being scared because that's not how it works.  But right now, please don't force yourself into any of these situations. It's not good for your mental health to be forced to face a phobia of yours often. 
reply about 10 hours
ElfyKathy
Dear Dish-It, Within the last few years I have felt a bit sick and shaky when we go out to eat. It's not so bad when it's a carvery lunch or something at a pub, but settling down for a chocolate brownie and a milkshake shakes me up. Don't get me wrong, I love going out with Mum, but it's just sitting down and taking a bite. I want to chuck it in the bin. I love eating brownies and stuff at home and I'm pretty healthy. But I refuse to go to the town before lunch in fear. Mum told me I got to stop this or I'm going to develop a terrible phobia.  Please help! ElfyKathy, worried
reply about 10 hours

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