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Dear Dish-It: I’m the Middle Kid

Jan 30, 2012

Dear Dish-It,

I’m the middle child in my family and my siblings pick on me constantly. They toss me in the pool, put nail polish on me when I’m sleeping and cause mayhem around the house – and I get the blame. How can I stand up to them?

Jay

Dear Jay,

This sounds like a classic case of middle child syndrome; you’re not the oldest (usually the “boss”) or the youngest (often the “baby”), so where exactly do you fit into the family? It just so happens that I’m a middle kid, too … here’s my best advice to you.

Write it Down

One of the best ways to deal with your bad feelings about being the middle kid is to get a diary or a journal and jot down your thoughts. If your siblings pick on you, write it down. If they make a mess and try to blame you for it, write that down, too. Writing can help you express your anger in a positive way – you may find that this simple act calms you down and makes you feel better about the whole situation all on its own.

Tell Mom & Dad

The next thing I suggest you do is try talking to your parents about how you feel. Your mom and dad love the three of you equally, so expressing to them how your older and younger sibling pick on you and leave you out may ease the situation a bit. After all, your parents are there to act as “referees” between the three of you kids – they may have suggestions or ideas on how to make things better for everyone in the family.

Make Your Own Friends

You probably have plenty of chances to make friends of your own – outside of your family. Besides the kids in your class at school, how about joining a sports team or club or doing some other kind of after-school activity that you like, and meeting some new people that way? Then, on weekends, you can spend time with your friends instead of hanging out with your siblings all day long … wouldn’t that be nice?!

Give it Time

It may be hard to believe right now but, in time, you’ll probably find that you and your siblings become better and better friends. By the time we grow up and reach adulthood, the problems and tensions we felt with our brothers and sisters disappear, and they become our BFFs in life. Give it time and you’ll see – your middle child syndrome will likely get better all on its own.

Have Your Say

Has this ever happened to you? Got any good advice for Jay? Leave your comment below!

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Do You Get Along With Your Sibs?

  • No way! We fight with each other 24/7.
  • I get along with my sibs most of the time.
  • My sibs are my best friends - we totally get along.
  • I'm an only child, so I don't have sibs to fight with.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

PittsburghPenguinsFanatic
"aftershock" wrote: "NicolletteA" wrote: no. and you sound like the marketing people that stop me at the mall.  :/ lol, I'm not, i just kno someone whos making a new app and wanted to see if any1 would use it.   BTW what do u say to the marketing people at the mall? No. I don't like those people at the mall. Sometimes, they ask my family and I (usually directed at my mom and sister, but sometimes at me, too. Even though I'm under 13. Not for long though.) if they want their hair done. And sometimes I'm so tempted to say, "No thank you. I did my hair today. Do you think I want it done?" But of course I never do. It's kinda disrespectful. So we just usually say No thank you. My mom, sister, and I now have a solution for that (my idea when I was maybe ages 9-11) Don't make eye contact with them and pretend that they aren't there.
reply about 2 hours
BookWorm86
This is GREAT advice! Thx a lot StephRox!:) I have a younger brother & he can be EXASPERATING at times lol! Great advice!!:D
reply about 3 hours
Arenl
Arenl posted in Family Issues:
My little brother is annoying as ever, but I have to handle him. He is my brother after all.
reply about 3 hours
Arenl
Arenl posted in Family Issues:
@Sophieeee I definitely agree with you.
reply about 3 hours
Sophieeee
 Loosing a parent is hard, your dad knows that and I'm sure that he misses your mom just as much as you do. Whether you explain to him how you are feeling or not, you should know that your Dad will always love you and admitting to him how you feel isn't going to change that. Although it is completely understandable how you feel, you need to let your dad move one eventually. It's not fair to him if he has to spend the rest of his life alone. Even though you might not see it, its a good thin that your dad is finally feeling comfortable enough to date. It doesn't mean that he is letting go of your mom or that he will forget about her, it means that he is moving on with his life. You lost your mother and he lost the love of his life. Dating other people will probably start off being just as hard for him as it is for you. My advice is that you talk to your dad. Let him know how you feel in the most gentle and understanding way that you can. Don't flat out say that you don't want him dating anyone, tell him that you still miss your mom and its hard to see him with other people. Let me know how it goes, good luck. :)
reply about 3 hours