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Dear Dish-It: I’m the Middle Kid

Jan 30, 2012

Dear Dish-It,

I’m the middle child in my family and my siblings pick on me constantly. They toss me in the pool, put nail polish on me when I’m sleeping and cause mayhem around the house – and I get the blame. How can I stand up to them?

Jay

Dear Jay,

This sounds like a classic case of middle child syndrome; you’re not the oldest (usually the “boss”) or the youngest (often the “baby”), so where exactly do you fit into the family? It just so happens that I’m a middle kid, too … here’s my best advice to you.

Write it Down

One of the best ways to deal with your bad feelings about being the middle kid is to get a diary or a journal and jot down your thoughts. If your siblings pick on you, write it down. If they make a mess and try to blame you for it, write that down, too. Writing can help you express your anger in a positive way – you may find that this simple act calms you down and makes you feel better about the whole situation all on its own.

Tell Mom & Dad

The next thing I suggest you do is try talking to your parents about how you feel. Your mom and dad love the three of you equally, so expressing to them how your older and younger sibling pick on you and leave you out may ease the situation a bit. After all, your parents are there to act as “referees” between the three of you kids – they may have suggestions or ideas on how to make things better for everyone in the family.

Make Your Own Friends

You probably have plenty of chances to make friends of your own – outside of your family. Besides the kids in your class at school, how about joining a sports team or club or doing some other kind of after-school activity that you like, and meeting some new people that way? Then, on weekends, you can spend time with your friends instead of hanging out with your siblings all day long … wouldn’t that be nice?!

Give it Time

It may be hard to believe right now but, in time, you’ll probably find that you and your siblings become better and better friends. By the time we grow up and reach adulthood, the problems and tensions we felt with our brothers and sisters disappear, and they become our BFFs in life. Give it time and you’ll see – your middle child syndrome will likely get better all on its own.

Have Your Say

Has this ever happened to you? Got any good advice for Jay? Leave your comment below!

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Do You Get Along With Your Sibs?

  • No way! We fight with each other 24/7.
  • I get along with my sibs most of the time.
  • My sibs are my best friends - we totally get along.
  • I'm an only child, so I don't have sibs to fight with.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

FroggyBurton
FroggyBurton posted in Friends:
"drowning" wrote:I've met this predicament in the past myself. I still do. But, there's always little things you can do other than medications and doctors. Find others to talk too or even online services like imalive. They're lovely people to talk too; I had the pleasure of finding that out.Pull yourself to find little hobbies to do; even if it's not all the time and just sometimes. Try drawing, writing, reading. Exercise, even. Drink water, treat yourself. Walk more, keep your music updated. Rearrange things; move things. Keep your environment as up as you can. Get things done; make yourself feel accomplished. You don't always have to do big things and take different tests to make yourself feel better. It takes time; lots of it. I've dealt with depression and anxiety since I was 11; now I'm 17.And, you need to remember that it's okay to get sad and you're not always going to know what to do. But, that doesn't mean you won't figure it out. Honestly, I didn't think I'd be here today. I almost wasn't a few times. Now, I'm working on getting ready for college and I'm engaged. Things aren't going to always be great or perfect, even. But, that doesn't mean they won't be okay. I hope you the best of luck and I wish to tell you that you can come to me at any time.Honestly, it's just really hard for me to even wanna do something these days. Most of the things people wanna do, it involves having more people around to help you achieve it your goal(s). I do sketch, a lot. But all of my outcomes of my drawings end up being depressing and suicidal. I try doing things, but again, nothing seems to work. My family honestly would rather have me try for emancipation then want me to stay any longer. But the thing is, I can't do it in my state. I feel like I'm trapped here and there's no escape. I've been kicked out so many times. Slept underneath trees, etc. I don't have anybody, literally anybody to talk to anymore. It's lonely. It's great at times. But it's just really depressing when you look around in the hallways of your school and try to talk to someone, they just walk away from you...
reply about 6 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Friends:
I've met this predicament in the past myself. I still do. But, there's always little things you can do other than medications and doctors. Find others to talk too or even online services like imalive. They're lovely people to talk too; I had the pleasure of finding that out. Pull yourself to find little hobbies to do; even if it's not all the time and just sometimes. Try drawing, writing, reading. Exercise, even. Drink water, treat yourself. Walk more, keep your music updated. Rearrange things; move things. Keep your environment as up as you can. Get things done; make yourself feel accomplished. You don't always have to do big things and take different tests to make yourself feel better. It takes time; lots of it. I've dealt with depression and anxiety since I was 11; now I'm 17. And, you need to remember that it's okay to get sad and you're not always going to know what to do. But, that doesn't mean you won't figure it out. Honestly, I didn't think I'd be here today. I almost wasn't a few times. Now, I'm working on getting ready for college and I'm engaged. Things aren't going to always be great or perfect, even. But, that doesn't mean they won't be okay. I hope you the best of luck and I wish to tell you that you can come to me at any time.
reply about 14 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
If you need counseling, anti-depressants, and you're being abused verbally, mentally, and physically; you need to get immediate help. You are in an unhealthy environment and it shouldn't be normal to you. This isn't normal and it isn't okay. Call 911 and get yourself out of that household.
reply about 14 hours
FroggyBurton
FroggyBurton posted in Friends:
So, not too long ago, I tried talking to one of my best friends and I was severely depressed and just wanted to end my life. I really didn't know what to do and I felt like I was down on my knees. So, I messaged her and told her that I just really needed someone to talk to and that I haven't talked to her for almost a month and a half, or so. She instantly snapped on me and explained to me that I cannot rely on my friends for happiness, now, before I go any further, I don't rely on my friends for happiness. But it doesn't hurt to have somebody to talk to from time to time, right? Anyways, so, I told her that and she replied back saying that I'm just too much for her to handle and too depressing and then attacked me by calling me ugly names and involved my other friends into it and I lost them as well. I'm feeling horribly depressed even worse than I did that day (which was two days ago) and I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I don't have any friends anymore. I feel like I don't have anybody to talk to. People are probably going to read this and either think that I'm just asking for attention (which is not what I want) or that I do have friends to talk to and that they are always here for me. But nobody understands that nobody is ever really going to be there for you 24/7 and it sucks, honestly. I feel really isolated from everybody, which is why I search on social media for friends and they all fail. I'm seriously begging for some advice on how to handle my depression because it's getting way out of hand and I'm only fifteen years young, going on sixteen in April. I'm running out of options. I've talked to therapists, left and right but nothing worked. I've taken medications but nothing has changed. I just want to throw my hands up in the air and wave the white flag...
reply about 18 hours
FroggyBurton
"IlikeGUYS20" wrote:Dear dish-it,I think I am bi! For the past few years I have been attracted to boys and girls. I think I am bi. But is it to early to come out and say this?xxIlikeGUYS20xxPS My friend wrote my username. I am not kidding. I think I am bi. You do not have to do anything that you don't wanna do.  Your sexuality what you feel.  It's what you believe that you are attracted to.  Bisexual or not.  There is nothing wrong with it.  I know a lot of bisexual people who still to this day haven't come out yet and said anything to their parents.  Whether or not your friends and family accept you, you still have a whole community that does 100%!
reply about 21 hours