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Dear Dish-It: I’m the Middle Kid

Jan 30, 2012

Dear Dish-It,

I’m the middle child in my family and my siblings pick on me constantly. They toss me in the pool, put nail polish on me when I’m sleeping and cause mayhem around the house – and I get the blame. How can I stand up to them?

Jay

Dear Jay,

This sounds like a classic case of middle child syndrome; you’re not the oldest (usually the “boss”) or the youngest (often the “baby”), so where exactly do you fit into the family? It just so happens that I’m a middle kid, too … here’s my best advice to you.

Write it Down

One of the best ways to deal with your bad feelings about being the middle kid is to get a diary or a journal and jot down your thoughts. If your siblings pick on you, write it down. If they make a mess and try to blame you for it, write that down, too. Writing can help you express your anger in a positive way – you may find that this simple act calms you down and makes you feel better about the whole situation all on its own.

Tell Mom & Dad

The next thing I suggest you do is try talking to your parents about how you feel. Your mom and dad love the three of you equally, so expressing to them how your older and younger sibling pick on you and leave you out may ease the situation a bit. After all, your parents are there to act as “referees” between the three of you kids – they may have suggestions or ideas on how to make things better for everyone in the family.

Make Your Own Friends

You probably have plenty of chances to make friends of your own – outside of your family. Besides the kids in your class at school, how about joining a sports team or club or doing some other kind of after-school activity that you like, and meeting some new people that way? Then, on weekends, you can spend time with your friends instead of hanging out with your siblings all day long … wouldn’t that be nice?!

Give it Time

It may be hard to believe right now but, in time, you’ll probably find that you and your siblings become better and better friends. By the time we grow up and reach adulthood, the problems and tensions we felt with our brothers and sisters disappear, and they become our BFFs in life. Give it time and you’ll see – your middle child syndrome will likely get better all on its own.

Have Your Say

Has this ever happened to you? Got any good advice for Jay? Leave your comment below!

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Do You Get Along With Your Sibs?

  • No way! We fight with each other 24/7.
  • I get along with my sibs most of the time.
  • My sibs are my best friends - we totally get along.
  • I'm an only child, so I don't have sibs to fight with.

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AlphaT
AlphaT posted in Family Issues:
"Sabbie_luv" wrote:I hate when people say suicide is selfish. The people who say that its selfish don't realize how much it hurts. I mean, my life is horrible! I feel like I am getting an anxiety attack everytime someone tries to talk to me (i have not been diagnosed with social anxiety)! They don't know how bad it is. People say that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Well, suicide is the light at the end. I have attempted suicide twice but I always chicken out. I need someone to kill me. Please. As someone who has friends who were suicidal, and having been suicidal at one point in my life, It's the other way around. The people who are suicidal don't often realize how selfish taking their own life will be, because of the suffering they're experiencing. More directly to your case, though, anxiety causes control-seeking behavior. The taking of ones' own life can be seen as a way to escape the feelings which hurt us, and so we seek to control the situiation by taking ourselves out of the equation. It's like someone who falls ill when they get anxious at school.They know that falling ill will get them out of school, so someone who is anxious can actually have a physical illness as a result of wanting to escape the situation which makes them feel that way. Suicide works a lot in the same way, it's just that instead of getting out of school, we're getting out of life.  The only difference is that the person who gets out of school gets to experience that relief of the anxiety going away, the return of normal breathing as they're able to finally clam down their body and their mind. They start to feel comfortable again. Someone who commits suicide gets none of this, as they'll never again feel anything. There's no possibility of that feeling of relief, there's no longer a person.  In my view, feeling nothing at all is worse than feeling pain. At least when you can feel, you have a chance of feeling better. Life is too, well, lively...especially in such a time like this. I mean, they're making phones which could make their own power for goodness sakes!
reply 22 minutes
Hoellu
Hoellu posted in Family Issues:
Yup.. Pretty agreeBut we don't know If he has already died..! :/I know someone who are going to kill himself bcs of me.. /o\ It's not necesary telling why.  No matter. I'm just trying to stop him..  It's so difficult with so much stress..! /o\"I just know that dieing is not the solution., bcs he is not going to get his objetive anyways.... Conclusion: If something is breaking your life.. Change it!  It doesn't have to be the end!
reply 44 minutes
Sabbie_luv
I hate when people say suicide is selfish. The people who say that its selfish don't realize how much it hurts. I mean, my life is horrible! I feel like I am getting an anxiety attack everytime someone tries to talk to me (i have not been diagnosed with social anxiety)! They don't know how bad it is. People say that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Well, suicide is the light at the end. I have attempted suicide twice but I always chicken out. I need someone to kill me. Please.
reply about 2 hours
amazing234
amazing234 posted in Friends:
so as i , i wish i cloud be in africa  so that i can be with my friend
reply 1 day
priscilakg
priscilakg posted in Style:
I like to wear pants because they are more comfortable and impossible to show your legs.  
reply 1 day