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Dear Dish-It, I'm Sick of My Parents Grounding Me

Dish-It serves up advice about family issues.
Advice About Family

Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl after I've thought about this some more".


Dear Dish-It,

I am 16 and am sick of my parents grounding me for no reason. I am the middle child and I feel like they love my youngest sister and my disabled sister more than they love me. I want to control my own life and I want more respect than what they give me. They said I am not responsible because I got drunk on my 16th birthday and they made me feel really guilty about it, like using it against me. Also they are now grounding me for no reason so that I don't go out and hang around with friends that my sisters don't have. I'm really fed up and am losing it. Help!
sk8r gurl


Dear sk8r gurl,

This may sound harsh, but your parents have every right to ground you - and it's for a very good reason. You can celebrate your 16th birthday in a lot of ways - eat 16 chocolate chip cookies, throw a backyard BBQ, or fly off to Disneyland to party it up with Mickey (that's what Scarlett Johansson did!) - but getting drunk isn't one of them. Alcohol is dangerous and puts your health at risk. Plus, it's illegal to drink alcohol until you're 21 in the US and 19 in Canada. That's why your parents are grounding you! For someone who wants more respect, you've been acting irresponsibly by drinking alcohol and getting drunk.


If you're seriously trying to get your parents to see that you're responsible, I doubt that getting mad and fed up at them is going to help your case. If you want to be treated with respect, you've got to earn it. Start by helping out with the chores and staying away from alcohol. Being the middle child can be pretty rough cuz the firstborn is the overachiever and the lastborn is the baby of the family, which makes the middle kid feel left out and ignored. But that doesn't mean your parents love you any less than your sisters. I think they just have to pay more attention to your younger sister cuz she's young, and they have to look after your other sister cuz she has a disability that requires extra care and attention. Help your parents out by looking after your sisters and pretty soon, they'll realize you're responsible and give you the freedom and respect that you deserve at your age.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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    Comments

    aadoni

    aadoni wrote:

    My Mom Is Irritating >.
    commented: Sat Mar 16, 2013

    AnimeGamerGal

    AnimeGamerGal wrote:

    i always get grounded for little things :(
    commented: Mon Dec 10, 2012

    -RadioActive

    -RadioActive wrote:

    I Just Get Beat Instead ._.
    commented: Sun Dec 09, 2012

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    InternetOwl
    What part of it are you scared of? Is it eating in public and around other people, or just eating in general?  What it might be, if it's eating in public you don't like, is social anxiety, or social phobia. You should ask your doctor to check, because if it is, they can offer you ways to help. For instance, they might recommend therapists or group sessions to help ease your fear.  Even if it's just a phobia or, in unlikelier circumstances, an eating disorder, you should still go to your doctor or a therapist so you can try to overcome it. Try doing things that calm you down before these situations as well, like exercise, reading or listening to music (I'm not sure what relaxes you but sometimes these help). Also, you should try to slowly get used to the situations. So don't force yourself to eat straight away when you're out, but slowly start doing so whenever your comfortable with doing so. Unlike your mum wants, you can't just "stop" being scared because that's not how it works.  But right now, please don't force yourself into any of these situations. It's not good for your mental health to be forced to face a phobia of yours often. 
    reply about 10 hours
    ElfyKathy
    Dear Dish-It, Within the last few years I have felt a bit sick and shaky when we go out to eat. It's not so bad when it's a carvery lunch or something at a pub, but settling down for a chocolate brownie and a milkshake shakes me up. Don't get me wrong, I love going out with Mum, but it's just sitting down and taking a bite. I want to chuck it in the bin. I love eating brownies and stuff at home and I'm pretty healthy. But I refuse to go to the town before lunch in fear. Mum told me I got to stop this or I'm going to develop a terrible phobia.  Please help! ElfyKathy, worried
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