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Dear Dish-It: My Mom Won’t Let Me Grow Up

Jun 18, 2012

Dear Dish-It,

My mom is really scared about me growing up, and I’ve gotten to the age where I need ‘womanly’ advice. What should I do?

Allconfused

Dear Allconfused,

It sounds like it’s time for you and your mom to have “the talk.” What I mean is, it’s time for you to tell your mother that you are growing up (whether she wants you to or not) – and you would really like her to be there to help you through it!

Make an Appointment

It may seem silly cause it’s your mom, but if you’re going to have a serious conversation with her about this then you may want to book some time together where you’ll be left alone to chat without any distractions. If it helps, you may even want to write down some of the things you want to say to her before you meet; that way you’ll be organized and come across sounding mature and respectful.

Put Yourself in Her Shoes

While your goal is definitely to make your mom see things from your perspective, it will help if you can also try to put yourself in her shoes. It’s hard for her to lose her “baby,” and you need to be sensitive to that when you are explaining things to her. Tell her that you understand that she’s worried about your relationship changing, but assure her that you love her and tell her that, no matter what stage of life you’re in, she’ll always be your mom and you hope that she’ll always be there for you.

Ask Questions

If you need her advice about some of the things you’re currently going through, now may or may not be the best time to ask. If you see that your mom is still having a bit of trouble accepting the fact that you are growing up, give her some time to process it and wait a bit before approaching her again. She needs some time to get used to the idea and, if you let her have it, I’m sure she’ll eventually come around and be there to support you on your journey to adulthood!

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for Allconfused? Leave your comment below!

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Comments

iamlovingyou

iamlovingyou wrote:

my dad is scared for me to grow up and get married because of what he put my mom throught and he think that my husband will do it to me.
commented: Tue Jan 21, 2014

Bigdeedee

Bigdeedee wrote:

My dad scared for me to grow up
commented: Tue Jan 21, 2014

Midapops

Midapops wrote:

Wouldn't*
commented: Thu Jan 02, 2014

there are 181 more comments

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Its_skylar1
Hey love , I do the exact same thing as you , you aren't alone... if you ever need anyone , I am here , okay? 
reply about 2 hours
jordand08
Talk to someone, anyone you trust.
reply about 3 hours
jordand08
I don't see that being an "issue" also, you can't always get what you want. AND, it's VERY close to Christmas.
reply about 3 hours
Brianna09
I get told NO all the time by my mom.
reply about 7 hours
kitcat165
kitcat165 posted in Friends:
well this is kind of a long story but ill try to make it as short as possible. so it all started about 4 years ago. this new boy came to my school. he was super cute and all the girls had a crush on him. at first i did not like him in a crush way but after a while feelings started growing. we started talking and he seemed to like me to. after elementary was done we ended up going to the same middle school.fast forward to this year me and him are in the same class. while i was in 6th grade i found my best friend me and her been bffs since then. she is also in the same class. ever since the begging of this year they grew really close. they are always talking and it seems like she like him and vice versa. every time they are together i feel this overwhelming since of jealousy and anger. like is she better than me or??? the thing that really gets to me is that she knew i liked him. omg i need advice like what should i do :mad
reply about 13 hours

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