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Dear Dish-It: My Mom Won’t Let Me Grow Up

Jun 18, 2012

Dear Dish-It,

My mom is really scared about me growing up, and I’ve gotten to the age where I need ‘womanly’ advice. What should I do?

Allconfused

Dear Allconfused,

It sounds like it’s time for you and your mom to have “the talk.” What I mean is, it’s time for you to tell your mother that you are growing up (whether she wants you to or not) – and you would really like her to be there to help you through it!

Make an Appointment

It may seem silly cause it’s your mom, but if you’re going to have a serious conversation with her about this then you may want to book some time together where you’ll be left alone to chat without any distractions. If it helps, you may even want to write down some of the things you want to say to her before you meet; that way you’ll be organized and come across sounding mature and respectful.

Put Yourself in Her Shoes

While your goal is definitely to make your mom see things from your perspective, it will help if you can also try to put yourself in her shoes. It’s hard for her to lose her “baby,” and you need to be sensitive to that when you are explaining things to her. Tell her that you understand that she’s worried about your relationship changing, but assure her that you love her and tell her that, no matter what stage of life you’re in, she’ll always be your mom and you hope that she’ll always be there for you.

Ask Questions

If you need her advice about some of the things you’re currently going through, now may or may not be the best time to ask. If you see that your mom is still having a bit of trouble accepting the fact that you are growing up, give her some time to process it and wait a bit before approaching her again. She needs some time to get used to the idea and, if you let her have it, I’m sure she’ll eventually come around and be there to support you on your journey to adulthood!

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for Allconfused? Leave your comment below!

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Comments

iamlovingyou

iamlovingyou wrote:

my dad is scared for me to grow up and get married because of what he put my mom throug...
commented: Tue Jan 21, 2014

Bigdeedee

Bigdeedee wrote:

My dad scared for me to grow up
commented: Tue Jan 21, 2014

Midapops

Midapops wrote:

Wouldn't*
commented: Thu Jan 02, 2014

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Style:
Natural
reply about 2 hours
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Style:
Just natural.
reply about 2 hours
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Style:
anti bullying shirt and purple pyjama pants. 
reply about 2 hours
Cataclysm_Destruct
I'd also shift the blame onto the parents. It's disgusting and appalling to know that parents don't care about their own child's wellbeing. 
reply about 22 hours
katieee123_
katieee123_ posted in Friends:
"Charulata" wrote: "katieee123_" wrote: I'm not going to judge her, it was most likely her parents fault. Poor girl. I'm sorry , But I don't think it's her parents fault. Her parents didn't tell her do anything with anyone , She did. Her parents isn't involved in this case!!  She's 13. Kids that age base some of their decisions off of what their parents say. Her parents should have told her what's right and what's wrong, which they most likely didn't do since apparently they didn't care.
reply about 22 hours

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