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Dear Dish-It: My Mom Won’t Let Me Grow Up

Jun 18, 2012

Dear Dish-It,

My mom is really scared about me growing up, and I’ve gotten to the age where I need ‘womanly’ advice. What should I do?

Allconfused

Dear Allconfused,

It sounds like it’s time for you and your mom to have “the talk.” What I mean is, it’s time for you to tell your mother that you are growing up (whether she wants you to or not) – and you would really like her to be there to help you through it!

Make an Appointment

It may seem silly cause it’s your mom, but if you’re going to have a serious conversation with her about this then you may want to book some time together where you’ll be left alone to chat without any distractions. If it helps, you may even want to write down some of the things you want to say to her before you meet; that way you’ll be organized and come across sounding mature and respectful.

Put Yourself in Her Shoes

While your goal is definitely to make your mom see things from your perspective, it will help if you can also try to put yourself in her shoes. It’s hard for her to lose her “baby,” and you need to be sensitive to that when you are explaining things to her. Tell her that you understand that she’s worried about your relationship changing, but assure her that you love her and tell her that, no matter what stage of life you’re in, she’ll always be your mom and you hope that she’ll always be there for you.

Ask Questions

If you need her advice about some of the things you’re currently going through, now may or may not be the best time to ask. If you see that your mom is still having a bit of trouble accepting the fact that you are growing up, give her some time to process it and wait a bit before approaching her again. She needs some time to get used to the idea and, if you let her have it, I’m sure she’ll eventually come around and be there to support you on your journey to adulthood!

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for Allconfused? Leave your comment below!

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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

rainbowpoptart
rainbowpoptart posted in Friends:
"skylar245" wrote: I'm joining a new school in august ... the only people joining me are my bullies and my BFF, Alyssa. Actually, She might not even come! There's an easy way to erase that "bully" label you're giving these people. Would you like to hear it? Rhetorical question. Words only hurt if you let them. I understand how harmful negative comments can be, but you need to try your absolute best to ignore them. The main goal bullies have is to bring you down; they want to see you get upset. Shrug it off. A tweet from the lovely Suzy Berhow states "When some is nasty or treats you poorly. It says nothing about you, but a lot about them". That's a quote everyone should live by. Just keep your head up. ♥♥ Even if your friend doesn't go to that school with you, don't worry. I'm sure she'll still be there to give emotional support when needed. "skylar245" wrote:I barely had any friends at my old school because I was too "nerdy"! I'm scared that no one will like me because I ruined everything at my old school! please someone send advice! New school = Clean slate If you don't like things that took place at your old school, congratulations- you're going to be in an environment with different people who, likely, act a different way. The absolute best way to make new friends is to be yourself. Don't act like someone you're not just to please people. Who cares if you're "too nerdy"? At least you're not fake. And remember - even if you can't make new friends, you always have the ones that are already there for you- including your internet pals. They'll all have your back. Good luck. x
reply about 1 hour
Pink_Cool_Girl
Pink_Cool_Girl posted in Friends:
Socialize. Or drop your pencil in class next to someone, they will pick it up and you can say "Thanks, Hey, aren't you the kid from ____? I'm ___, nice to meet you!" And if all else fails {which it WONT!!} you always have us to escape reality. But still, good luck! I have a feeling you won't need it :)
reply about 1 hour
skylar245
skylar245 posted in Friends:
I'm joining a new school in august because of the 2020 vision, But the only people joining me are my bullies and my BFF, Alyssa. Actully, She might not even come! I barley had any friends at my old school because I was to "nerdy"! I'm scared that no one will like me because I ruined everything at my old school! please someone send advice!
reply about 2 hours
LittleHeartz
LittleHeartz posted in Friends:
I know it can be quite embarrassing sometimes when you want to invite your friends on this site. But just give it a try. Tell them about the cool features we get and tell how fun you have and stuff. I am sure if they really take your opinion seriously, they won't bother about the name 'kidzworld'. In my school, everybody think that kidzworld is a cool site and stuff.  :)
reply about 20 hours
trinityac
trinityac posted in Friends:
Sadly she isn't your friend... you should make new ones because she is fake
reply 1 day