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Dear Dish-It: My Mom Won’t Let Me Grow Up

Jun 18, 2012

Dear Dish-It,

My mom is really scared about me growing up, and I’ve gotten to the age where I need ‘womanly’ advice. What should I do?

Allconfused

Dear Allconfused,

It sounds like it’s time for you and your mom to have “the talk.” What I mean is, it’s time for you to tell your mother that you are growing up (whether she wants you to or not) – and you would really like her to be there to help you through it!

Make an Appointment

It may seem silly cause it’s your mom, but if you’re going to have a serious conversation with her about this then you may want to book some time together where you’ll be left alone to chat without any distractions. If it helps, you may even want to write down some of the things you want to say to her before you meet; that way you’ll be organized and come across sounding mature and respectful.

Put Yourself in Her Shoes

While your goal is definitely to make your mom see things from your perspective, it will help if you can also try to put yourself in her shoes. It’s hard for her to lose her “baby,” and you need to be sensitive to that when you are explaining things to her. Tell her that you understand that she’s worried about your relationship changing, but assure her that you love her and tell her that, no matter what stage of life you’re in, she’ll always be your mom and you hope that she’ll always be there for you.

Ask Questions

If you need her advice about some of the things you’re currently going through, now may or may not be the best time to ask. If you see that your mom is still having a bit of trouble accepting the fact that you are growing up, give her some time to process it and wait a bit before approaching her again. She needs some time to get used to the idea and, if you let her have it, I’m sure she’ll eventually come around and be there to support you on your journey to adulthood!

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for Allconfused? Leave your comment below!

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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

Ashleexo
Ashleexo posted in Family Issues:
I like both my parents the same but for different things.
reply 21 minutes
hahh12
hahh12 posted in Family Issues:
I like my mom more
reply 24 minutes
hahh12
hahh12 posted in Family Issues:
My dad, he yells at me like all the time, i like my mom more 
reply 28 minutes
thrt105
thrt105 posted in Friends:
I have ALOT of friends. I used to have one BFF but she ditched me. After that, I couldn't trust people. I started making more friends so someone would be there for me and I would be there for them. Now, I don't have a BFF. Just a ton of close friends, which I like. But I don't know if I made the right choice of doubting everyone or not.
reply 41 minutes
Ashleexo
Ashleexo posted in Family Issues:
"thrt105" wrote:Yup. My Mom. She and my dad are exact opposites. My dad is innocent, soft, and so, so introverted. My Mom is super tough, strict, and extroverted. I'm like my mom and my brother is like my dad, but I can't talk back to my mom because it's rude, even if I wanted to. I will always love my family, though. no matter what. My parents used to be strict, but not anymore too much.  When I was in trouble, it was my mom I was afraid of to face but if I was going to get punished, i was afraid of them from my dad.
reply about 1 hour