Dear Dish-It: My Mom Won’t Let Me Grow Up

Jun 18, 2012

Dear Dish-It,

My mom is really scared about me growing up, and I’ve gotten to the age where I need ‘womanly’ advice. What should I do?


Dear Allconfused,

It sounds like it’s time for you and your mom to have “the talk.” What I mean is, it’s time for you to tell your mother that you are growing up (whether she wants you to or not) – and you would really like her to be there to help you through it!

Make an Appointment

It may seem silly cause it’s your mom, but if you’re going to have a serious conversation with her about this then you may want to book some time together where you’ll be left alone to chat without any distractions. If it helps, you may even want to write down some of the things you want to say to her before you meet; that way you’ll be organized and come across sounding mature and respectful.

Put Yourself in Her Shoes

While your goal is definitely to make your mom see things from your perspective, it will help if you can also try to put yourself in her shoes. It’s hard for her to lose her “baby,” and you need to be sensitive to that when you are explaining things to her. Tell her that you understand that she’s worried about your relationship changing, but assure her that you love her and tell her that, no matter what stage of life you’re in, she’ll always be your mom and you hope that she’ll always be there for you.

Ask Questions

If you need her advice about some of the things you’re currently going through, now may or may not be the best time to ask. If you see that your mom is still having a bit of trouble accepting the fact that you are growing up, give her some time to process it and wait a bit before approaching her again. She needs some time to get used to the idea and, if you let her have it, I’m sure she’ll eventually come around and be there to support you on your journey to adulthood!

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for Allconfused? Leave your comment below!

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Delancy posted in Friends:
Calm down. Ignore her. You are YOU, don't let anyone change you. If someone hurts, cry a river and build a bridge over it cx
reply about 18 hours
hello dish-it i hope i not bothering rita im 16 year old and i have autism.i get bullyed a lot. this has been happening online.this girl said that i was crazy and that freddie mercury (queen lead singer) wouldnt love me cause i have autism.i am queen and freddie mercury's #1 fan.the girl said no body would believe me and it made me so upset i had a autistic meltdown.what do i do,please help.  
reply about 19 hours
EndlessDream posted in Friends:
Hmmm....Then she mustn't be necessarily "using" you, if she is not getting something in return ( As far as we know of). However, It does sound like she is being extremely unfair. That just might be how she is. Not exactly loyal to anyone. Well, try to talk to her about it and tell her how you feel. And, if it doesn't work out, then she might not be a great friend to hang around with, and maybe you will find someone else who enjoys your company. I hope this helps, and good luck :)
reply 2 days
XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
No not really. Like I said, one minute she's all smiley and then she doesn't even look at me. Most of the time I see her with Daniela and Andrea. Today she was asking me if I was going to hang out with her, Daniela, Andrea and Luisa during recess. When I told her that I was 'going to have to think' she was like, "Whatever." and ran off to catch up with the Threesome. Thanks. :)
reply 2 days
EndlessDream posted in Friends:
Is she asking you to do things for her? Like help with homework, carry her books and so on?
reply 2 days

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