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Dear Dish-It: My Mom Won’t Let Me Grow Up

Jun 18, 2012

Dear Dish-It,

My mom is really scared about me growing up, and I’ve gotten to the age where I need ‘womanly’ advice. What should I do?

Allconfused

Dear Allconfused,

It sounds like it’s time for you and your mom to have “the talk.” What I mean is, it’s time for you to tell your mother that you are growing up (whether she wants you to or not) – and you would really like her to be there to help you through it!

Make an Appointment

It may seem silly cause it’s your mom, but if you’re going to have a serious conversation with her about this then you may want to book some time together where you’ll be left alone to chat without any distractions. If it helps, you may even want to write down some of the things you want to say to her before you meet; that way you’ll be organized and come across sounding mature and respectful.

Put Yourself in Her Shoes

While your goal is definitely to make your mom see things from your perspective, it will help if you can also try to put yourself in her shoes. It’s hard for her to lose her “baby,” and you need to be sensitive to that when you are explaining things to her. Tell her that you understand that she’s worried about your relationship changing, but assure her that you love her and tell her that, no matter what stage of life you’re in, she’ll always be your mom and you hope that she’ll always be there for you.

Ask Questions

If you need her advice about some of the things you’re currently going through, now may or may not be the best time to ask. If you see that your mom is still having a bit of trouble accepting the fact that you are growing up, give her some time to process it and wait a bit before approaching her again. She needs some time to get used to the idea and, if you let her have it, I’m sure she’ll eventually come around and be there to support you on your journey to adulthood!

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for Allconfused? Leave your comment below!

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

lirescar789
lirescar789 posted in Friends:
Dear dish It: What'll should you do to be able to catch up with up with their topic cause when they'll ask, you're answering nonsense.. 
reply about 5 hours
IndigoTiger19
Thanks so much delancy
reply about 7 hours
Delancy
Delancy posted in Family Issues:
Dear Friend, I am really sad about your matter. Ignore them. Yes, I do understand your feelings. You care for your family, everyone does. But Family isn't always right. If you pay attention to them you may get addicted to alc*hol too. It's normal for every person to care for their family, kith and kin. But not every person whom you care is good. I am totally not talking anything bad about your mom or you sister. But I've experienced this in my own family. Hope my message helped you out. It was a pleasure to help you out :) Thanks, Siyali (Delancy)
reply about 7 hours
IndigoTiger19
I grew up around violence, dr*gs and alc*hol and my mum was always fighting and on dr*gs she stopped ages ago but still drink's sometimes and these days I still think she is doing dr*gs still. My sister is addicted to dr*gs (but I wont' say what kind ) and is using them nearly every day. I know I shouldn't be getting into my mum's/sisters business but I am really worried. The other day we went and picked up my sister (who is 22 just to let you know) to go and get something for here down the street and before she got out of the car she said to my mum have u got any dot and I knew what it meant I am really worried about them and don't know what to do.
reply about 8 hours
coltsheaven12
coltsheaven12 posted in Friends:
BIG FAN OF ANIMAE
reply about 16 hours

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