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Dear Dish-It: My Mom Won’t Let Me Grow Up

Jun 18, 2012

Dear Dish-It,

My mom is really scared about me growing up, and I’ve gotten to the age where I need ‘womanly’ advice. What should I do?

Allconfused

Dear Allconfused,

It sounds like it’s time for you and your mom to have “the talk.” What I mean is, it’s time for you to tell your mother that you are growing up (whether she wants you to or not) – and you would really like her to be there to help you through it!

Make an Appointment

It may seem silly cause it’s your mom, but if you’re going to have a serious conversation with her about this then you may want to book some time together where you’ll be left alone to chat without any distractions. If it helps, you may even want to write down some of the things you want to say to her before you meet; that way you’ll be organized and come across sounding mature and respectful.

Put Yourself in Her Shoes

While your goal is definitely to make your mom see things from your perspective, it will help if you can also try to put yourself in her shoes. It’s hard for her to lose her “baby,” and you need to be sensitive to that when you are explaining things to her. Tell her that you understand that she’s worried about your relationship changing, but assure her that you love her and tell her that, no matter what stage of life you’re in, she’ll always be your mom and you hope that she’ll always be there for you.

Ask Questions

If you need her advice about some of the things you’re currently going through, now may or may not be the best time to ask. If you see that your mom is still having a bit of trouble accepting the fact that you are growing up, give her some time to process it and wait a bit before approaching her again. She needs some time to get used to the idea and, if you let her have it, I’m sure she’ll eventually come around and be there to support you on your journey to adulthood!

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for Allconfused? Leave your comment below!

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

donteatcarrots
donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
This is a really weird situation... Maybe she's feeling sorry for you?
reply about 15 hours
AnneS12
AnneS12 posted in Family Issues:
Well That is your choice who you want to stay with.Nobody can force you about it.When your parents see a family<a data-cke-saved-href=" lawyer, then he will ask you whom do you want to stay with and jury will decide.So dont worry .
reply 2 days
worldqweencc
worldqweencc posted in Friends:
I'm not quiet sure what's a real friend and what's a fake one anymore. I know when there's a friend who's only a school friend rather than an 'outside' friend as well, but at the same time it makes me so confused. Here's my story: There's a girl named Xian. We had a unique way of becoming friends ... but it clicked. For the whole year I've been trying to keep in contact with her ... but she's not very willing to try and put in any effort to stay in contact with me. Her personality is beyond sweet, and her skills at art are even better. If she was to have an award, it would be a giant trophy with her face plastered on it and big bold letters listing 'Nicest Girl In The World!' ... Its just ... she lied to me.  I was all about this friendship. I was ... i'll admit ... sort of a lost puppy following around her owner.  So, I got her this T-Shirt she really wanted for her birthday, and not long her birthday was mine, April First. I was expecting at least a letter, or maybe even something cheap. It didn't really matter to me.  But on my birthday she didn't even come to school. Nor when she got back did she ever say sorry, or give me any be-lated gift of any sort.  That should have been my first clue. Even my mother started catching on. My second clue was she even told me she was oblivious and wasn't good at keeping in contact. I thought she was joking. How could a friendship so sweet be tossed out just like that? My third one was near the end of school, one of her friends in elementary was bragging about the plushies she got from Xian. Apparently she had four from her.  Xian had originally told me it was AGAINST her religion to give out gifts to other people. I knew she wasn't lying about her religion in general, because I met her mom on a field trip and she was quiet ... different. But I didn't understand why Xian had gotten so many small plushies for her, and yet not a single small stamp for me? My last clue was the last day of school. She didn't even try to say good-bye or even hang out with me for that matter. I know what you're thinking. "Girl, you've gotta be kidding me if you can't see that she has no intention of being your friend!" But this girl was the nicest to me. She stood next to me during harsh times, and comforted me when I was down. She told me I was important.  And you don't get many friends to do those special things to you. It was rare to have a friend make me feel so tall and worthy.  ... So ... I can't understand ... why'd she do all that .... and suddenly ... just ... walk away ...
reply 2 days
catsandpizza
catsandpizza posted in Style:
American Apparel croptop, Juicy Couture velvet sweatpants and Uggs
reply 3 days
Heyyyyy_
Heyyyyy_ posted in Friends:
"donteatcarrots" wrote:I dunno, looks like something more than being friends is going on here. It's probably best to ask her face-to-face though, before jumping to conclusions. ^^^
reply 3 days

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