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Dear Dish-It: My Brother Is More Popular Than Me

Dear Dish-It,

I feel like no one likes me. On Kidzworld, I have less than 30 friends, while my brother has over 100. At school I’m invisible, and my brother’s so popular. All the girls like him and he has a girlfriend. But when I tried to ask a girl out, she laughed in my face. The friends I do have think I’m really fun and cool to hang out with, but I don’t have many. My brother is a jerk, too. Whenever his friends are around, he completely ignores me, but people still like him. Why? I feel so alone.

Lonely

Dear Lonely,

It’s not right that your brother makes you feel bad about yourself when his friends are around. But there’s a chance that he doesn’t know he’s doing it. Have you ever talked to him about it and told him how it makes you feel when he ignores you? If it’s what you want, why not ask him to include you with his friends every once in a while?

Remember Those Who Matter

When it comes to your own friends, remember this: life isn’t about collecting more friends than your brother on your Kidzworld account. It’s about having a handful of strong bonds with people who you can truly trust. You say “the friends I do have think I’m really fun and cool to hang out with.” Don’t discount that statement. It’s not about how many you have, it’s about making the ones you have matter. And obviously you matter to them.

The Principles of Popularity

Your brother may be popular, but have you ever stopped to ask yourself why? Other people are naturally drawn to those who are confident, outgoing and positive. If you’re always sitting back feeling glum and resentful toward your brother, people are going to pick up on your negative vibes. The same goes if you’re trying too hard to make new friends. If you can first learn to love and respect yourself and feel confident in your own skin, that confidence will begin to shine through. When you’re at school, be positive, smile and interact with people naturally. That’s the first step.

Get the Girl

With girls, confidence and positivity are also key players. But it helps to add in a little mystery. Don’t ask out the first girl who smiles at you. Let her wonder whether you like her for a change! Most importantly, be genuine. The right girl will like you for you. 

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for Lonely? Leave your comment below!

 

71 Comments

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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

drowning
drowning posted in Friends:
"NS12" wrote: I meet this guy at a festival and we have been talking for the whole week and my mum has noticed I keep texting someone and I know I need to tell her but I don t know how I am going to tell her, I doubt she ll get angry or anything but he lives about 4/5 hours away from me. I know I need to tell her as I don t like keeping secrets from her. I know this was a bit ago, but I truly hope that you were able to be open with your mother. If you feel as if they won't get mad at you, then chances are that your guardian will not. Honesty is the best policy, and if you feel guilt keeping a secret, then it is one you probably shouldn't be keeping.
reply about 16 hours
drowning
I agree with @rainbowpoptart. You really shouldn't worry about relationships that much given your age. I promise, they're better things to worry about than boys and more secure romances occur later on in life anyways. But, given the situation, you shouldn't worry about either. The boy is unfaithful and so is your friend. If your best friend really valued your friendship, she would not have put it in a position that could end it. Don't waste your time on those who will not put you first just as you do for them; better people will come into your life and they are the ones who you should really worry about.
reply about 16 hours
rainbowpoptart
There's a Dear Dish-It section for questions like this. (: But to answer it anyway: BREAK UP WITH HIM! Stop being friends with who he cheated on you with. Move on and find someone better for you. Don't let it ruin your life. Neither of them are worth your time, there are much better people out there. Because you're only 10, though, I would definitely advise not focusing too much on any more romantic relationships. Work on preparing for your future; boyfriends can wait a while.
reply 2 days
Pinklilylane
So my Bf cheated on me for my bff. Know they won't even talk to me. I don't know what to do. Can you tell me what to do?
reply 2 days
PitbullLover777
You should definitely tell your mom - gently, and slowly - be honest - and everything will be ok
reply 4 days