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Dear Dish-It: My Brother Is More Popular Than Me

Aug 17, 2012

Dear Dish-It,

I feel like no one likes me. On Kidzworld, I have less than 30 friends, while my brother has over 100. At school I’m invisible, and my brother’s so popular. All the girls like him and he has a girlfriend. But when I tried to ask a girl out, she laughed in my face. The friends I do have think I’m really fun and cool to hang out with, but I don’t have many. My brother is a jerk, too. Whenever his friends are around, he completely ignores me, but people still like him. Why? I feel so alone.

Lonely

Dear Lonely,

It’s not right that your brother makes you feel bad about yourself when his friends are around. But there’s a chance that he doesn’t know he’s doing it. Have you ever talked to him about it and told him how it makes you feel when he ignores you? If it’s what you want, why not ask him to include you with his friends every once in a while?

Remember Those Who Matter

When it comes to your own friends, remember this: life isn’t about collecting more friends than your brother on your Kidzworld account. It’s about having a handful of strong bonds with people who you can truly trust. You say “the friends I do have think I’m really fun and cool to hang out with.” Don’t discount that statement. It’s not about how many you have, it’s about making the ones you have matter. And obviously you matter to them.

The Principles of Popularity

Your brother may be popular, but have you ever stopped to ask yourself why? Other people are naturally drawn to those who are confident, outgoing and positive. If you’re always sitting back feeling glum and resentful toward your brother, people are going to pick up on your negative vibes. The same goes if you’re trying too hard to make new friends. If you can first learn to love and respect yourself and feel confident in your own skin, that confidence will begin to shine through. When you’re at school, be positive, smile and interact with people naturally. That’s the first step.

Get the Girl

With girls, confidence and positivity are also key players. But it helps to add in a little mystery. Don’t ask out the first girl who smiles at you. Let her wonder whether you like her for a change! Most importantly, be genuine. The right girl will like you for you. 

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for Lonely? Leave your comment below!