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Dear Dish-It: Am I Still in Love With My Ex?

Dear Dish-It, 

I have a new boyfriend who I like very much. But when I’m with him, I can’t help comparing everything he does to my ex-boyfriend. Is this normal? Does it mean I’m still in love with my ex?

Confused

Dear Confused,

Comparing your current boyfriend to your ex is completely normal! It doesn’t mean that you’re still in love with your ex at all. Comparing is our way of figuring out if our current partner is more suited to us than the one we left behind.

Growing From Every Relationship

Every relationship we have in life is truly important for our personal growth, whether it lasts a year or only a month. Sharing with another person on an intimate level teaches us many things. We learn what kind of person we are in a relationship, the kind of person we want to be in a relationship, and the kind of partner we do and don’t want.

Comparing Boyfriends

If you’re comparing things like their kissing expertise and your ex comes out on top, don’t write your new man off just yet. Kissing is a skill just like cooking or playing a sport. Maybe your new guy hasn’t had as much practice. Or maybe the two of you just haven’t found your groove yet. However, if you’re comparing things like how he makes you feel special, how he treats you around his friends, and how respectful or reliable he is and your ex still comes out on top, that may simply mean that your current bf isn’t a good match for you.

Mental Checklist

You may still have feelings for your ex, especially if he was your first love, but that’s something only your heart can tell you. Comparing him to your current bf has nothing to do with those feelings. It’s a mental checklist that comes naturally to everyone. How else would we know what we want without comparing to what we once had? So don’t feel guilty about it, girl! It's all part of the learning process.

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for Confused? Leave your comment below!

  

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Alois_Trancy_
Alois_Trancy_ posted in Friends:
"Rameza" wrote:My best friend just keeps back stabbing me.well to speak the truth we have been BFF's since 2nd Grade but when we reached into 5th grade she would talk all of these lies on me,once we had this big argument that we didn't speak to each other for 1 whole month.we forgived each other but now this group of girls would pick on me and #### ##### things about me behind my back.Now they treat me so nice and make all these jokes with me but at the end of the day it's the same routine over and over again.My mom tells me that their just jealous but it's making me drop back in my school work  now as usual I would probably say "kill them" but since this is correct grammar and punctuation I will take this seriously. Report them to the principal. Tell them how you feel. If it gets worse contact the police ( I've had to do this )
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jordand08
jordand08 posted in Friends:
When your friend starts to talk about you, and stabs you in the back. then maybe it's time to move on. In friendships, there will always be times when your friend hurt your feelings, but if it's being repeated, then maybe it's time to let go. Because some things aren't worth it.
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Alex227
Alex227 posted in Friends:
You should if you really want to, but I don't think it should matter the amount of knowledge you and your friends have, because friendship is merely friendship! :) Plus, when you tell them, it may come across as bragging and they would perceive you as a show-off. Hope this helps!
reply about 7 hours
hugebear
hugebear posted in Friends:
Congratulations on being gifted and getting all the opportunties what your getting :) You knows your friends better than any of us and how does you think they will react if you tell them?  Thinks about if one of your friends told you and how you would feel.  Be proud and enjoy your learning and you will meet other gifted people too in your classes and ask them their experiences too of how/if they told friends. If it was me then I probably wouldnt but thats just me personality. I wouldnt ever get in the gifted group anyway so I doesnt really have to think about this :)
reply about 13 hours
__dischic3__
__dischic3__ posted in Style:
today I got my hair down...chillin'
reply about 21 hours

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