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Dear Dish-It: Am I Still in Love With My Ex?

Dear Dish-It, 

I have a new boyfriend who I like very much. But when I’m with him, I can’t help comparing everything he does to my ex-boyfriend. Is this normal? Does it mean I’m still in love with my ex?

Confused

Dear Confused,

Comparing your current boyfriend to your ex is completely normal! It doesn’t mean that you’re still in love with your ex at all. Comparing is our way of figuring out if our current partner is more suited to us than the one we left behind.

Growing From Every Relationship

Every relationship we have in life is truly important for our personal growth, whether it lasts a year or only a month. Sharing with another person on an intimate level teaches us many things. We learn what kind of person we are in a relationship, the kind of person we want to be in a relationship, and the kind of partner we do and don’t want.

Comparing Boyfriends

If you’re comparing things like their kissing expertise and your ex comes out on top, don’t write your new man off just yet. Kissing is a skill just like cooking or playing a sport. Maybe your new guy hasn’t had as much practice. Or maybe the two of you just haven’t found your groove yet. However, if you’re comparing things like how he makes you feel special, how he treats you around his friends, and how respectful or reliable he is and your ex still comes out on top, that may simply mean that your current bf isn’t a good match for you.

Mental Checklist

You may still have feelings for your ex, especially if he was your first love, but that’s something only your heart can tell you. Comparing him to your current bf has nothing to do with those feelings. It’s a mental checklist that comes naturally to everyone. How else would we know what we want without comparing to what we once had? So don’t feel guilty about it, girl! It's all part of the learning process.

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for Confused? Leave your comment below!

  

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

__dischic3__
__dischic3__ posted in Style:
today I got my hair down...chillin'
reply about 4 hours
Teh_Skittlez
Teh_Skittlez posted in Friends:
Don't go out of your way to talk about it. A lot of people are off put by people who talk about their intelligence a lot. If it comes up in a conversation, you can talk about it, but you probably won't need to tell them. Usually with people who are genuinely intelligent, they don't need to talk about their intelligence, it's obvious to everyone around you, and therefore people who are not as intelligent might feel like you're rubbing it in. 
reply about 12 hours
jordand08
jordand08 posted in Friends:
Maybe you should wait until you feel a little bit more comfy talking to them, and then tell them!  :D
reply about 12 hours
totalgeek
totalgeek posted in Friends:
There is a slight issue with that. I am rarely comfortable talking with children my own age.
reply about 12 hours
jordand08
jordand08 posted in Friends:
You should if you feel comfortable telling them.
reply about 12 hours

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