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Dear Dish-It: Am I Still in Love With My Ex?

Dear Dish-It, 

I have a new boyfriend who I like very much. But when I’m with him, I can’t help comparing everything he does to my ex-boyfriend. Is this normal? Does it mean I’m still in love with my ex?

Confused

Dear Confused,

Comparing your current boyfriend to your ex is completely normal! It doesn’t mean that you’re still in love with your ex at all. Comparing is our way of figuring out if our current partner is more suited to us than the one we left behind.

Growing From Every Relationship

Every relationship we have in life is truly important for our personal growth, whether it lasts a year or only a month. Sharing with another person on an intimate level teaches us many things. We learn what kind of person we are in a relationship, the kind of person we want to be in a relationship, and the kind of partner we do and don’t want.

Comparing Boyfriends

If you’re comparing things like their kissing expertise and your ex comes out on top, don’t write your new man off just yet. Kissing is a skill just like cooking or playing a sport. Maybe your new guy hasn’t had as much practice. Or maybe the two of you just haven’t found your groove yet. However, if you’re comparing things like how he makes you feel special, how he treats you around his friends, and how respectful or reliable he is and your ex still comes out on top, that may simply mean that your current bf isn’t a good match for you.

Mental Checklist

You may still have feelings for your ex, especially if he was your first love, but that’s something only your heart can tell you. Comparing him to your current bf has nothing to do with those feelings. It’s a mental checklist that comes naturally to everyone. How else would we know what we want without comparing to what we once had? So don’t feel guilty about it, girl! It's all part of the learning process.

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for Confused? Leave your comment below!

  

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

usagimodoki
usagimodoki posted in Friends:
Forever alone ;_;*Sneef Sneef*
reply about 7 hours
Fox7Fabsome
Fox7Fabsome posted in Friends:
"Tldc_Julisha" wrote:I just don't think I should be alive anymore and people bully me and cyber bully me for so long that I think its time to give up is what my friend texted me No you have so much to live for. I never meet you but still
reply 1 day
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Style:
Go with whatever you feel most comfortable with, and is best suited for the event. 
reply 1 day
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
If you're having issues on KW then you can always report, ignore/delete, and block the person! Also let the moderators/admin know you're having issues! Same goes with most other places online.  It's also a good idea to tell an adult; you don't deserve to go through this! Whether it be a parent, a friends parent, teacher, principal, counsellor, family member, police officer, any trusted adult!  Unfortunately we here cannot stop what is going on for you, but we can remind you that you can get through this and things will get better. Keep your head up, and stand up for yourself. Take care. :)
reply 1 day
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
What's the actual issue? Is she upset you have a crush on him, or are things tense because you guys broke up? My best advice right now is to talk to her and find out how she feels and what she things. And let her know your feelings as well. Communication is always important.
reply 1 day

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