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Dear Dish-It: Am I Still in Love With My Ex?

Dear Dish-It, 

I have a new boyfriend who I like very much. But when I’m with him, I can’t help comparing everything he does to my ex-boyfriend. Is this normal? Does it mean I’m still in love with my ex?

Confused

Dear Confused,

Comparing your current boyfriend to your ex is completely normal! It doesn’t mean that you’re still in love with your ex at all. Comparing is our way of figuring out if our current partner is more suited to us than the one we left behind.

Growing From Every Relationship

Every relationship we have in life is truly important for our personal growth, whether it lasts a year or only a month. Sharing with another person on an intimate level teaches us many things. We learn what kind of person we are in a relationship, the kind of person we want to be in a relationship, and the kind of partner we do and don’t want.

Comparing Boyfriends

If you’re comparing things like their kissing expertise and your ex comes out on top, don’t write your new man off just yet. Kissing is a skill just like cooking or playing a sport. Maybe your new guy hasn’t had as much practice. Or maybe the two of you just haven’t found your groove yet. However, if you’re comparing things like how he makes you feel special, how he treats you around his friends, and how respectful or reliable he is and your ex still comes out on top, that may simply mean that your current bf isn’t a good match for you.

Mental Checklist

You may still have feelings for your ex, especially if he was your first love, but that’s something only your heart can tell you. Comparing him to your current bf has nothing to do with those feelings. It’s a mental checklist that comes naturally to everyone. How else would we know what we want without comparing to what we once had? So don’t feel guilty about it, girl! It's all part of the learning process.

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for Confused? Leave your comment below!

  

288 Comments

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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

lordoflego
i also had a friend how is a girl, she liked me and all i had to was ask her out! now we are dating. :)
reply 1 day
Cutepandicorn
Umm...If she is the kind of girl that likes to talk a lot and tells everybody what is going on then the whole school will know when she finds out you like her.  I say who cares if the whole school knows you like her.  I like it if a boy tells me he likes me and ask me out.  I don't like boys trying to be sneaky coz they stink at it and end up looking stupid.  If you want to be sneaky about it you can ask her if she can help you with your homework or ask her if she wants to hang with you and your friends at the mall or you can look at her and smile and see if she smiles back at you.
reply 1 day
Jojo132
well, as a girl i know that i like it when boys are up front with there feelings. girls like to know that they can trust you to tell them the truth no matter who's watching you.  that may show that you really do like her. if you need to do it privately, then mabey if you do any after school activities and she does then ask her then. jojo(: 
reply 2 days
Epicryan2
How would I ask her if she likes me without the entire school knowing? I like her too. Please answer I want to know by today
reply 2 days
zoomzoomkitty
zoomzoomkitty posted in Style:
Erm, my casual clothes are black and grey. 
reply 2 days