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Dear Dish-It: Am I Still in Love With My Ex?

Dear Dish-It, 

I have a new boyfriend who I like very much. But when I’m with him, I can’t help comparing everything he does to my ex-boyfriend. Is this normal? Does it mean I’m still in love with my ex?

Confused

Dear Confused,

Comparing your current boyfriend to your ex is completely normal! It doesn’t mean that you’re still in love with your ex at all. Comparing is our way of figuring out if our current partner is more suited to us than the one we left behind.

Growing From Every Relationship

Every relationship we have in life is truly important for our personal growth, whether it lasts a year or only a month. Sharing with another person on an intimate level teaches us many things. We learn what kind of person we are in a relationship, the kind of person we want to be in a relationship, and the kind of partner we do and don’t want.

Comparing Boyfriends

If you’re comparing things like their kissing expertise and your ex comes out on top, don’t write your new man off just yet. Kissing is a skill just like cooking or playing a sport. Maybe your new guy hasn’t had as much practice. Or maybe the two of you just haven’t found your groove yet. However, if you’re comparing things like how he makes you feel special, how he treats you around his friends, and how respectful or reliable he is and your ex still comes out on top, that may simply mean that your current bf isn’t a good match for you.

Mental Checklist

You may still have feelings for your ex, especially if he was your first love, but that’s something only your heart can tell you. Comparing him to your current bf has nothing to do with those feelings. It’s a mental checklist that comes naturally to everyone. How else would we know what we want without comparing to what we once had? So don’t feel guilty about it, girl! It's all part of the learning process.

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for Confused? Leave your comment below!

  

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Comments

Mayumi12

Mayumi12 wrote:

Can u please forget about this ex's
commented: Mon Sep 01, 2014

Mayumi12

Mayumi12 wrote:

Past is past... Why compare though
commented: Mon Sep 01, 2014

rescueheart

rescueheart wrote:

I just broke up with my boyfriend and i still love him
commented: Wed Jul 02, 2014

there are 288 more comments

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Emma40
Emma40 posted in Friends:
So I like this guy in school. But I don't know if he likes me. How can I tell if he likes me? Does he like me?
reply about 2 hours
Bunnoo
Bunnoo posted in Friends:
(There is no such thing as perfect.) Someone who loves you is perfect enough.
reply about 11 hours
Peppy.San
Peppy.San posted in Friends:
"Emma40" wrote:So my BFF is dating this guy that is so hot. He is so sweet and so is she I don't want too get in the middle of thier relationship.AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!What should I do?:love :love You don't want to cause drama, I think is what you're saying. I wouldn't worry about getting "in the middle of their relationship". If he makes a pass at someone else (you?) then that's HIS problem, not yours... and he probably wasn't worth your friends' time in the first place. Sorry, but you can't fix other people's stupid. And if it's you who's chasing, remember: friends are more important than some stupid/angsty short-term fling. Trust me-- I lost a few friends that way, and those relationships doesn't last very long afterwards. #TeenageWisdom
reply about 11 hours
shae508
shae508 posted in Friends:
I rather you tell them the truth.....It's better to get help during times like this.. But if you wanna go down THAT road. (which includes lying, deep guilt, and possibly more scars...just a warning.) Here's how. 1. Hide them, wear bracelets long sleeves, whatever. just do it. 2. LIE. say you cut your self from glass of a REALLY bad paper cut...anything. 3. STOP!. Don't cut, easiest thing to do. At least let the scars fade... Like I said, I don't really want to help you with this stuff. TALK to someone. I cannot stress this enough. Good Luck....
reply about 11 hours
daredog
daredog posted in Family Issues:
Thanks for being supportive also for not dissing me!! :D :D :D :D :D :D love your profile pic btw!! :D :D :D :D :D
reply about 12 hours

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