Dear Dish-It: Am I Still in Love With My Ex?

Dear Dish-It, 

I have a new boyfriend who I like very much. But when I’m with him, I can’t help comparing everything he does to my ex-boyfriend. Is this normal? Does it mean I’m still in love with my ex?


Dear Confused,

Comparing your current boyfriend to your ex is completely normal! It doesn’t mean that you’re still in love with your ex at all. Comparing is our way of figuring out if our current partner is more suited to us than the one we left behind.

Growing From Every Relationship

Every relationship we have in life is truly important for our personal growth, whether it lasts a year or only a month. Sharing with another person on an intimate level teaches us many things. We learn what kind of person we are in a relationship, the kind of person we want to be in a relationship, and the kind of partner we do and don’t want.

Comparing Boyfriends

If you’re comparing things like their kissing expertise and your ex comes out on top, don’t write your new man off just yet. Kissing is a skill just like cooking or playing a sport. Maybe your new guy hasn’t had as much practice. Or maybe the two of you just haven’t found your groove yet. However, if you’re comparing things like how he makes you feel special, how he treats you around his friends, and how respectful or reliable he is and your ex still comes out on top, that may simply mean that your current bf isn’t a good match for you.

Mental Checklist

You may still have feelings for your ex, especially if he was your first love, but that’s something only your heart can tell you. Comparing him to your current bf has nothing to do with those feelings. It’s a mental checklist that comes naturally to everyone. How else would we know what we want without comparing to what we once had? So don’t feel guilty about it, girl! It's all part of the learning process.

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for Confused? Leave your comment below!



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XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
This thing happened in kindergarten ... too embarrassing to even talk about it now ... so bye.
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"CountessElectra" wrote:The loss of my grandad was horrible. I felt so sad at the time. I felt like i would never stop crying when my parents told me. It still makes me sad today... aww. i hope everything's okay :(
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"hugebear" wrote:This is the awesome thread and thank you for posting it manu [stickied] :) thank you huge :) 
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hugebear posted in Family Issues:
Ello. Im sorry that your going through this and Im wondering why would you feel like this? Did you notice when you stopped enjoying things and you started feeling sad? Is there one or some things in your life what happened? You sound like your the awesome person and I really hope you discusses this with the adults in your family and / or counsellors.  Im here if you wants to talk and in advances im  the horribles advise giver :angel
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