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Dear Dish-It: Am I Still in Love With My Ex?

Dear Dish-It, 

I have a new boyfriend who I like very much. But when I’m with him, I can’t help comparing everything he does to my ex-boyfriend. Is this normal? Does it mean I’m still in love with my ex?

Confused

Dear Confused,

Comparing your current boyfriend to your ex is completely normal! It doesn’t mean that you’re still in love with your ex at all. Comparing is our way of figuring out if our current partner is more suited to us than the one we left behind.

Growing From Every Relationship

Every relationship we have in life is truly important for our personal growth, whether it lasts a year or only a month. Sharing with another person on an intimate level teaches us many things. We learn what kind of person we are in a relationship, the kind of person we want to be in a relationship, and the kind of partner we do and don’t want.

Comparing Boyfriends

If you’re comparing things like their kissing expertise and your ex comes out on top, don’t write your new man off just yet. Kissing is a skill just like cooking or playing a sport. Maybe your new guy hasn’t had as much practice. Or maybe the two of you just haven’t found your groove yet. However, if you’re comparing things like how he makes you feel special, how he treats you around his friends, and how respectful or reliable he is and your ex still comes out on top, that may simply mean that your current bf isn’t a good match for you.

Mental Checklist

You may still have feelings for your ex, especially if he was your first love, but that’s something only your heart can tell you. Comparing him to your current bf has nothing to do with those feelings. It’s a mental checklist that comes naturally to everyone. How else would we know what we want without comparing to what we once had? So don’t feel guilty about it, girl! It's all part of the learning process.

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for Confused? Leave your comment below!

  

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

KeepOnSmiling
KeepOnSmiling posted in Friends:
There is this guy at my school know my best friend likes, the problem is I like him as well and I think he may have been flirting with me. My friend says its okay but I don't think she's being honest. He's the first guy that I've liked that actually notices me. I like him but I don't want to lose my best friend. What do I do?
reply about 5 hours
KeepOnSmiling
KeepOnSmiling posted in Friends:
There is this guy at my school know my best friend likes, the problem is I like him as well and I think he may have been flirting with me. My friend says its okay but I don't think she's being honest. He's the first guy that I've liked that actually notices me. I like him but I don't want to lose my best friend. What do I do?
reply about 5 hours
Alexis7343
Alexis7343 posted in Friends:
Yes, both online and in person. It sucks when they say i did it its just they bullied me and I got back at them just 10x harder! I'm a nice person but I can be a real stuck up B!^** if you wanna mess with me. If I get back at you your gonna get it bad.
reply about 8 hours
GlimmeringSky16
Not really throughout my life but I guess since bullying is repeated teasing, once in fifth grade these kids made up the joke that my name(Su for those you that don't know) stood for StupidUgly, which I mean wasn't THAT bad but I was like what, 10 xD I mean I let it roll off but did end up crying in the shower once. My mom caught me and made me explain everything and made it better. So really, instead of hiding it I recommend talking to an adult about it if you're ever bullied, even tho keeping it a secret may seem like a good idea.  Ever since then I've never been bullied. I'm thankful fo that c;
reply about 9 hours
ha1l13
ha1l13 posted in Friends:
YEs I have been bullied. A lot. People who I think are my friends are back stabbers. They suddenly just like turn on me. I've had rumoursspread about me and I was so sad. I hated being bullied. But the best thing to do if you are being bullied is to hold your head high and not cry. Because if you show a single tear that is what the bully wants And it will take you as an easy target and will bully you more and more and more and more. And bullies won't stop until you stand up to them.
reply about 9 hours

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