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Dear Dish-It: Am I Still in Love With My Ex?

Dear Dish-It, 

I have a new boyfriend who I like very much. But when I’m with him, I can’t help comparing everything he does to my ex-boyfriend. Is this normal? Does it mean I’m still in love with my ex?

Confused

Dear Confused,

Comparing your current boyfriend to your ex is completely normal! It doesn’t mean that you’re still in love with your ex at all. Comparing is our way of figuring out if our current partner is more suited to us than the one we left behind.

Growing From Every Relationship

Every relationship we have in life is truly important for our personal growth, whether it lasts a year or only a month. Sharing with another person on an intimate level teaches us many things. We learn what kind of person we are in a relationship, the kind of person we want to be in a relationship, and the kind of partner we do and don’t want.

Comparing Boyfriends

If you’re comparing things like their kissing expertise and your ex comes out on top, don’t write your new man off just yet. Kissing is a skill just like cooking or playing a sport. Maybe your new guy hasn’t had as much practice. Or maybe the two of you just haven’t found your groove yet. However, if you’re comparing things like how he makes you feel special, how he treats you around his friends, and how respectful or reliable he is and your ex still comes out on top, that may simply mean that your current bf isn’t a good match for you.

Mental Checklist

You may still have feelings for your ex, especially if he was your first love, but that’s something only your heart can tell you. Comparing him to your current bf has nothing to do with those feelings. It’s a mental checklist that comes naturally to everyone. How else would we know what we want without comparing to what we once had? So don’t feel guilty about it, girl! It's all part of the learning process.

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for Confused? Leave your comment below!

  

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Comments

Mayumi12

Mayumi12 wrote:

Can u please forget about this ex's
commented: Mon Sep 01, 2014

Mayumi12

Mayumi12 wrote:

Past is past... Why compare though
commented: Mon Sep 01, 2014

rescueheart

rescueheart wrote:

I just broke up with my boyfriend and i still love him
commented: Wed Jul 02, 2014

there are 288 more comments

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Bwubbles
Bwubbles posted in Friends:
You two have a crush on each other.. You two also want to date.. Buuuutttt he can't because he's not allowed. Soooo. I think you guys should just be friends! Get to know each other better, you don't have to date for that. Also hangout and stuff, don't forget to let things cool down. Like when he got mad, let him cool down for a bit, then start talking. Everything will get easier from then on hopefully  :D
reply 40 minutes
Bwubbles
Bwubbles posted in Friends:
Thanks and sure I'll check it out
reply about 1 hour
1Dglittercat43
1Dglittercat43 posted in Friends:
wooooooooooah there u kno crushes can last waaaaaaay longer then 4 months right?
reply about 3 hours
1Dglittercat43
1Dglittercat43 posted in Friends:
omg thx a lot, i dont have siblings who have dated but a lot of my friends have dated. also, unexpected complication i 4got 2 mention...... my mom hates him.... problem much?! cuz as i said he is the class clown...
reply about 3 hours
9bella
9bella posted in Friends:
* Be yourself * be safe * be resonable
reply about 3 hours

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