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Dear Dish-It: Am I Still in Love With My Ex?

Dear Dish-It, 

I have a new boyfriend who I like very much. But when I’m with him, I can’t help comparing everything he does to my ex-boyfriend. Is this normal? Does it mean I’m still in love with my ex?

Confused

Dear Confused,

Comparing your current boyfriend to your ex is completely normal! It doesn’t mean that you’re still in love with your ex at all. Comparing is our way of figuring out if our current partner is more suited to us than the one we left behind.

Growing From Every Relationship

Every relationship we have in life is truly important for our personal growth, whether it lasts a year or only a month. Sharing with another person on an intimate level teaches us many things. We learn what kind of person we are in a relationship, the kind of person we want to be in a relationship, and the kind of partner we do and don’t want.

Comparing Boyfriends

If you’re comparing things like their kissing expertise and your ex comes out on top, don’t write your new man off just yet. Kissing is a skill just like cooking or playing a sport. Maybe your new guy hasn’t had as much practice. Or maybe the two of you just haven’t found your groove yet. However, if you’re comparing things like how he makes you feel special, how he treats you around his friends, and how respectful or reliable he is and your ex still comes out on top, that may simply mean that your current bf isn’t a good match for you.

Mental Checklist

You may still have feelings for your ex, especially if he was your first love, but that’s something only your heart can tell you. Comparing him to your current bf has nothing to do with those feelings. It’s a mental checklist that comes naturally to everyone. How else would we know what we want without comparing to what we once had? So don’t feel guilty about it, girl! It's all part of the learning process.

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for Confused? Leave your comment below!

  

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MissD
MissD posted in Friends:
If someone is bullying you to the point of making you cry - first of all: I am so sorry that is happening and that is NOT okay. Have you told any adults? You should really tell someone in your RL.  Technically we should be able to be ourselves regardless of who we are without worrying about getting picked on. I know realistically that's not always the case.  What are some of the things in your life that make you to happiest? If I were you and to me you sound like an interesting & creative person - I would focus on your strengths? Then focus on doing things that make you feel good on the inside. Maybe you have a favourite queen song? Can you paint a picture with that song on repeat, can you go for a hike or a jog while listening to your fav. music? Have you ever thought of writing fan fiction about Queen? All these things help to let of steam.  Bullying is NOT okay. Please tell someone and then find a constructive, healthy way to spend some time positively. Try to practice self love, and be less judgmental with the way you see yourself - just because you are different or think differently - that's a good thing! Celebrate it  [s:p/zsv]
reply about 2 hours
9bella
9bella posted in Family Issues:
the mall people probably think your too young too.
reply about 6 hours
sugarpie567
my father would usaully yell at me for making his food wrong and sometimes if im ten minutes late my mom would say something like this "you need to grow up and take cares of your chours and stop going on my phone" then she go off topic like "you need more friends and go out doors and". Then my dad is all like "are you sleepy bc you eat to much junk food (even thou i barely even eat a full blown meal)". Oh and my brother, he keeps saying how ugly i am and he brings his girlfriend (which is one year younger than him" into my room like can i be alone. What i am saying is family do not like the youngest child.
reply about 11 hours
sallylace
sallylace posted in Friends:
i already talked to jordan
reply about 12 hours
-xXLoneWolfXx-
-xXLoneWolfXx- posted in Friends:
Tell the manager. According to the rules, if you want to get hacks (nice messages on your profile by someone) Then you have to ask them to do it through comments. Otherwise these things happen.
reply about 12 hours

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