Kw-logo-smaller

Dear Dish-It: Am I Still in Love With My Ex?

Dear Dish-It, 

I have a new boyfriend who I like very much. But when I’m with him, I can’t help comparing everything he does to my ex-boyfriend. Is this normal? Does it mean I’m still in love with my ex?

Confused

Dear Confused,

Comparing your current boyfriend to your ex is completely normal! It doesn’t mean that you’re still in love with your ex at all. Comparing is our way of figuring out if our current partner is more suited to us than the one we left behind.

Growing From Every Relationship

Every relationship we have in life is truly important for our personal growth, whether it lasts a year or only a month. Sharing with another person on an intimate level teaches us many things. We learn what kind of person we are in a relationship, the kind of person we want to be in a relationship, and the kind of partner we do and don’t want.

Comparing Boyfriends

If you’re comparing things like their kissing expertise and your ex comes out on top, don’t write your new man off just yet. Kissing is a skill just like cooking or playing a sport. Maybe your new guy hasn’t had as much practice. Or maybe the two of you just haven’t found your groove yet. However, if you’re comparing things like how he makes you feel special, how he treats you around his friends, and how respectful or reliable he is and your ex still comes out on top, that may simply mean that your current bf isn’t a good match for you.

Mental Checklist

You may still have feelings for your ex, especially if he was your first love, but that’s something only your heart can tell you. Comparing him to your current bf has nothing to do with those feelings. It’s a mental checklist that comes naturally to everyone. How else would we know what we want without comparing to what we once had? So don’t feel guilty about it, girl! It's all part of the learning process.

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for Confused? Leave your comment below!

  

288 Comments

latest videos

Poll

Who's More Important - BF or BFF?

  • Your BFF is way more important.
  • You gotta stay loyal to your BF.
  • They are equally important.
  • I guess it depends on your situation.

related stories

Nikki asks: "My ex bf Mikey hates me because I'm going out with his cousin. What should I do?"
I was dating my best friend for about a week when she said I was too much like a brother to her a...
I can't get over my ex. How do I move on?
My ex wants to go back with me. I told him no I don't like you no more, but we can be friends. He...

Dear Dish-It in the forums

carolyna_03
carolyna_03 posted in Friends:
Hi there I need ur help with advice on my stupid "fake" Bffs direct message on kW plz its a long story text me first tho others I won't no who to text
reply about 3 hours
carolyna_03
carolyna_03 posted in Friends:
I wanna cry sometimes because my Bffs are nice but they aren't true Bffs and I can't say u don't wanna be friends anymore because I will then be soooo lonely that it hurts to go school, what should I do
reply about 4 hours
carolyna_03
carolyna_03 posted in Friends:
They completely treat me like crap etc. wen 1 of them is upset they come to me to talk about wat they h8 about eachither, but if I did that they tell eachither and get mad at me. In p.e my bff ran out the door to give my Bff a hug except me, wen ever i walk and I talk to someone they always shove Thru the middle, I get pushed to the curb and walk in the back
reply about 4 hours
haych-dot-hussain
I like long hair cuz u can do loads of styles wiv long hair❤ :D
reply about 7 hours
9bella
9bella posted in Style:
"Jeterfan14" wrote:leggings cuz comfort lol
reply about 17 hours

play online games