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Dear Dish-it: I Think I'm A Vampire

Feb 21, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

I know this sounds weird, but I seriously think I'm a vampire  I can't sleep at night, my eyes are sensitive to the sun, and most of all I love the taste of blood. I've found websites with groups of real vampires, and one woman has agreed to mentor me. What should I do?

Cullen Kid

Dear Cullen Kid,

First and foremost let me assure you that you are not a vampire. How do I know for sure? Because vampires, as they are described in fiction, do not exist. There is a subculture of people who choose to practice "vampirism," but that is a lifestyle choice, not something that is awakening inside of you.

Avoid Predators

Second of all, don't believe everything you read on the internet. And most importantly, do not communicate with this woman who wants to be your mentor. There are so many crazy and dangerous people online. I cannot stress this enough, simply because my good friend went through this exact same vampire-mentor experience in high school, and the "woman" turned out to be a predator. It's just not safe.

Symptoms

As for your vampire-like symptoms, I'm not denying that you're experiencing them. But they're likely caused by health related issues. Your eye sensitivity could be the symptom of an infection or disease which you should discuss with your doctor. Insomnia - the inability to sleep - is a very common problem. It could be caused by stress, depression, pain or medications, or external factors like light, noise or your mattress. Talk to your doctor about this as well. 

Drinking Blood

As for the blood, there are many people who enjoy the taste of iron. And some of those who do have dubbed themselves "vampires." But the truth is, you just like the taste of blood. Some people do, some don't. Best not to drink it though. Taken in excess, it can make you sick. 

Vampire Traits

If you're still not convinced, consider all of the things that books have labeled as vampire traits. Do you have all of these:

  • Undead
  • Drinks blood, and becomes ill when they go too long without
  • Pale skin
  • Eye or skin sensitivity to sunlight
  • Sees better at night than during the day
  • Quick reflexes
  • Superhuman strength
  • Changing eye color
  • Rarely sleeps
  • Moodiness
  • Psychic abilities
  • Turns into a bat
  • Has fangs
  • Bitten by another vampire
  • Fears silver, garlic, crucifixes, holy water and sunlight

Have Your Say

Do you believe that vampires are real? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

628 Comments

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