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Dear Dish-it: Moral Dilemma

Aug 10, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

I'm facing a moral dilemma. My best friend told me that she's been cheating on her long-term boyfriend with our other guy friend. She made me promise not to tell, but I'm friends with her BF too. If he ever found out that I knew about the cheating and didn't tell him, I think he'd be mad. I want to tell him, but I don't want to betray my best friend. What should I do?!

Torn

Dear Torn, 

You're right, this is a big moral dilemma. Naturally, your best friend trusts you with her secrets. But just because you're best friends doesn't mean you share the same morals. Some people look at cheating as something minor and innocent, while others think it's unforgivable.

Talk to Your BFF

You need to tell your best friend how you feel about cheating so that she understands that you disagree with her actions. She shouldn't expect you to protect a secret that goes against your moral code. Particularly because this is an ongoing affair and not just a one-time slip up, you should tell your friend that she needs to confess the truth to her boyfriend. Make her understand how serious the situation is. Say that if she won't tell him, you will. Because you are friends with her boyfriend as well, you are essentially lying to him by protecting this secret.

Confessions

The ideal scenario is that your friend tell her boyfriend the truth. That's the best chance of saving their relationship, if that's what she wants. If she won't tell him, encourage your other guy friend to come forward and admit his mistake. The chance that they will remain friends, assuming they are, is slim. But sometimes the truth, over time, will earn him respect. The last thing you want is for your entire group of friends to find out about this affair. If everyone but the boyfriend knows and protects this secret, then the joke is on him. You're all making a fool of him. Put a stop to this cheating and get your BFF to confess before it's too late. It's hard, but it's the right thing to do.

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Torn? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

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Comments

iam127

iam127 wrote:

You should tell both of the boys (gently of course)if you can't convince your BFF to do...
commented: Wed Mar 26, 2014

pinkunicorn19

pinkunicorn19 wrote:

I think you should have a long conversation with your BFF and tell her that either sh...
commented: Sat Mar 15, 2014

bball73

bball73 wrote:

break it to him easy ,just like if you were breaking up with a guy that was really nice...
commented: Fri Mar 14, 2014

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Poll-cheating

If you know someone who cheated, should you tell their boyfriend or girlfriend?

  • Absolutely! Their partner deserves to know who they're dating.
  • I'd tell the cheater to confess to their partner.
  • It's none of my business.
  • I'd try to get their partner to catch the cheater in the act.

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tanaj952
tanaj952 posted in Friends:
I think we all go through it,  I am right now. Keep your chin up, smile on, and remember that to be mean these girls have to sink pretty low, and if they are bullying you, YOU ARE ABOVE THEM!!!!! Keep your friends close, never forget to be who you are (as cheesy as it sounds, thats what I did and now I am really happy with loads of friends. I also told a teacher, she sorted it all out pretty quick to.) . Last thing-tell a teacher. I did, and she talked to the mean girl. Now everyone knows I'm not afraid to do it, either. Bad times will pass, and good ones will come. Look after yourself. Xx. *virtual hugs*
reply about 1 hour
rainbowloomer13
rainbowloomer13 posted in Style:
somewhere in between. because I like sports and going outside. but I do care about the way I look sometimes.  
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Kirsteeeeen posted in Style:
Sure, I wear them a lot.  As long as you're not wearing the really tight kind, which should go with a dress or skirt or something, it's totally cool.
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Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Style:
Robotics t-shirt and yellow floral shorts.
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OverTheMoon posted in Style:
leggings
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