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Dear Dish-it: Moral Dilemma

Aug 10, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

I'm facing a moral dilemma. My best friend told me that she's been cheating on her long-term boyfriend with our other guy friend. She made me promise not to tell, but I'm friends with her BF too. If he ever found out that I knew about the cheating and didn't tell him, I think he'd be mad. I want to tell him, but I don't want to betray my best friend. What should I do?!

Torn

Dear Torn, 

You're right, this is a big moral dilemma. Naturally, your best friend trusts you with her secrets. But just because you're best friends doesn't mean you share the same morals. Some people look at cheating as something minor and innocent, while others think it's unforgivable.

Talk to Your BFF

You need to tell your best friend how you feel about cheating so that she understands that you disagree with her actions. She shouldn't expect you to protect a secret that goes against your moral code. Particularly because this is an ongoing affair and not just a one-time slip up, you should tell your friend that she needs to confess the truth to her boyfriend. Make her understand how serious the situation is. Say that if she won't tell him, you will. Because you are friends with her boyfriend as well, you are essentially lying to him by protecting this secret.

Confessions

The ideal scenario is that your friend tell her boyfriend the truth. That's the best chance of saving their relationship, if that's what she wants. If she won't tell him, encourage your other guy friend to come forward and admit his mistake. The chance that they will remain friends, assuming they are, is slim. But sometimes the truth, over time, will earn him respect. The last thing you want is for your entire group of friends to find out about this affair. If everyone but the boyfriend knows and protects this secret, then the joke is on him. You're all making a fool of him. Put a stop to this cheating and get your BFF to confess before it's too late. It's hard, but it's the right thing to do.

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Torn? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

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Comments

Emma40

Emma40 wrote:

You need to tell her boyfriend that she is cheating.
commented: Thu Oct 23, 2014

prettyrose111

prettyrose111 wrote:

good store
commented: Tue Jun 24, 2014

-DareToDream-

-DareToDream- wrote:

He doesn't even love you he loves someone else
commented: Mon Jun 23, 2014

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  • Absolutely! Their partner deserves to know who they're dating.
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  • It's none of my business.
  • I'd try to get their partner to catch the cheater in the act.

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

FeatheryOne
I'm sorry but if you're not over 12 you're going to have to stay in some sort of limits; do you understand the threats out there?
reply about 2 hours
kuzivakwashe
hi i think we all say our parents treat us like babies. i am 12 years old and i am still mumys baby. our parents will always be there to catch us. sometimes i think i am treated like a baby. i think we are still young to be saying we are now grown ups. i hope that helped
reply about 3 hours
ChickenGoPowPow
ChickenGoPowPow posted in Style:
Well first of all, I understand what you're saying.  You want to be well dressed like them, Am I right? First, it doesn't matter what you dress like.. long as you being yourself. You don't have to be insecure of what you wear because you are perfect just the way you are. Don't worry about how they dress or what they even get. Be who you are. That's what makes you unique. If you still want to just dress up like them or buy better clothes then look in stores or discuss it with your parents an they might just have an idea. You might be younger than them, but at least you are being who you were born to be, which is you. Don't ever feel bad about yourself. Clothes are just clothes. Nothing different.
reply about 3 hours
e_stunner
e_stunner posted in Style:
I'm 2 years younger than my seniors in school.I never really cared about how i looked but when i saw their online pictures i saw how well dressed they were.I started feeling insecure and hating every outifit i wore.I want not to care but i can't.Help me!
reply about 4 hours
heyitsangel
My mom& dad still treats me like a baby too because I have only just turend 13 on september 8th  I just want to be independence too and I do the same  I talk to them and they always say I'm not ready to be independence  and then say I have to wait till I'm 15 or 16.
reply about 4 hours

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