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Dear Dish-it: Moral Dilemma

Aug 10, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

I'm facing a moral dilemma. My best friend told me that she's been cheating on her long-term boyfriend with our other guy friend. She made me promise not to tell, but I'm friends with her BF too. If he ever found out that I knew about the cheating and didn't tell him, I think he'd be mad. I want to tell him, but I don't want to betray my best friend. What should I do?!

Torn

Dear Torn, 

You're right, this is a big moral dilemma. Naturally, your best friend trusts you with her secrets. But just because you're best friends doesn't mean you share the same morals. Some people look at cheating as something minor and innocent, while others think it's unforgivable.

Talk to Your BFF

You need to tell your best friend how you feel about cheating so that she understands that you disagree with her actions. She shouldn't expect you to protect a secret that goes against your moral code. Particularly because this is an ongoing affair and not just a one-time slip up, you should tell your friend that she needs to confess the truth to her boyfriend. Make her understand how serious the situation is. Say that if she won't tell him, you will. Because you are friends with her boyfriend as well, you are essentially lying to him by protecting this secret.

Confessions

The ideal scenario is that your friend tell her boyfriend the truth. That's the best chance of saving their relationship, if that's what she wants. If she won't tell him, encourage your other guy friend to come forward and admit his mistake. The chance that they will remain friends, assuming they are, is slim. But sometimes the truth, over time, will earn him respect. The last thing you want is for your entire group of friends to find out about this affair. If everyone but the boyfriend knows and protects this secret, then the joke is on him. You're all making a fool of him. Put a stop to this cheating and get your BFF to confess before it's too late. It's hard, but it's the right thing to do.

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Torn? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

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Comments

prettyrose111

prettyrose111 wrote:

good store
commented: Tue Jun 24, 2014

-DareToDream-

-DareToDream- wrote:

He doesn't even love you he loves someone else
commented: Mon Jun 23, 2014

-DareToDream-

-DareToDream- wrote:

DreamLND YOU HAVE ISSUES you cant force a guy to love you if he doesnt even love you . ...
commented: Mon Jun 23, 2014

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  • Absolutely! Their partner deserves to know who they're dating.
  • I'd tell the cheater to confess to their partner.
  • It's none of my business.
  • I'd try to get their partner to catch the cheater in the act.

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Sana11
Sana11 posted in Friends:
Hang out and have fun with your girl-friends and forgot about your crush :3 Eat icecream it might help you too
reply about 3 hours
Kiken
Kiken posted in Friends:
It's not worth losing your parents trust over. I'd wait. 
reply about 3 hours
american_brit
american_brit posted in Friends:
"DJwwjd" wrote:Well, in my opinion (depending on your age) dating is pointless until it'll actually make a difference in your life! but your parents know best, just try to see the bright side in what they're saying. Yep ^-^ Anyway, the best thing to do would be to wait. Know that if does like you, he'll respect that. Sneaking around your parents won't help. If you can't be honest with a relationship, it's likely not a good one. Patience. You'll learn that it's worth it (:
reply about 4 hours
american_brit
american_brit posted in Friends:
"KizetteIsHeart" wrote:My best friend asked to come with them since I was part of the group, to have a practice. Then I said no and explained why and then she acted weird around me. Why can't she understand?  I honestly, can't say. I'm going to need a bit more information in order to give an answer  -that's not solely based on guessing. Thanks!
reply about 4 hours
american_brit
american_brit posted in Friends:
Hmm... it looks like what I wanted to "say" has been covered. They're right. The best thing to do would to be to talk to them -and then have them talk to each other.
reply about 4 hours

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