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Problems with Popularity: Dear Dish-It Gives Advice

July 18, 2017

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Most people write in about wanting to be popular, but you'd be surprised to know that kids also write in about the pressures of being popular. Today on Dear Dish-It’s, “Let’s Talk About it Tuesday” we are going to be looking at questions from kids and teens who are battling with all areas of being popular. It might always seem glamorous, but there are prices to be paid. Today’s questions will give us a broader sense of the topic of popularity and the different issues, which surround it.

Let’s Take a Look at This Week’s Questions:

Being popular does not make you the leader.Being popular does not make you the leader.

Question by popular girl

I have a dilemma, in school, I’m popular, I didn't do anything but be myself, almost everyone (or should I say other [popular kids] like me and the [non-popular kids] hate me for that. I try to be nice to everyone, I spend most of my time with my friends though I hang with lots of other people, and I'm a rather sarcastic person, I don't know what to do, I really don’t like the idea of people hating me and I never asked to be popular nor did I try....            

Insight/Advice:

Do you know that they hate you or are you just assuming this? Hate is a very strong word, maybe they just don’t feel comfortable, and like you wouldn’t want to talk to them? Why not try reaching out and being friendly to them and see what happens? This problem could easily all be in your head. You never truly know until you confront the situation. Sounds to me like you just want to get along with everyone. 

It's hard when you just want to fit in with everyone.It's hard when you just want to fit in with everyone.

Question by Confused

I am popular but know I am wondering if it's really worth all the trouble. In the morning it's such an effort to make sure that everything is perfect, that my skirt is rolled just right because if it's too long then people will give funny looks, too short then I will be called names that no one wants to hear. Because I am real tall people expect me to love sports and join all the after school clubs, even the sports teachers. I do gymnastics as well so that makes me too stereotypically. But mainly one of the biggest stresses is that I think I may be doing too much because as well as the sport and gymnastics I am the school council head, top in most subjects and do the school advice column for the school newspaper. All at the same time as trying to keep my popular rep up. Hiding behind this fake smile is starting to get to me. Is being popular worth it

Insight/Advice:

Sounds like you are taking on a lot and it is exhausting you. Is there any way you can lighten up your load? Focus on what and who is making you happy and give less attention to the rest. The rest seems like it is draining you. All these expectations of what people demand as normal aren't necessarily. Metaphorically speaking, wear your skirt however you like, in whatever way that makes you the most happy. You have to ask yourself what’s more important, being popular or being happy?

We all want to feel like we belong.We all want to feel like we belong.

Question by LAYSLOVE

What do I do? I'm to popular.

Insight/Advice:

It’s interesting because most kids and teens write in to say the opposite. People aren’t always aware that there is a lot of pressure placed upon popular kids too. It’s wonderful that you are so liked, but it sounds like you need things to calm down. It’s perfectly okay to take some space and take some time for yourself. You don’t have to say “yes” to everything you are asked out to. Be selective. Hang out with the people who bring out the best in you and make you feel the most comfortable. This doesn’t mean you have to stop talking to anyone or be rude because you can still maintain friendliness with people without getting too close to them.

Popular kids have social stress too.Popular kids have social stress too.

Question by wondering

How do I become popular? Boys don't think that I'm pretty and they always think of me as just one of the guys! Some people think I'm a weirdo! But next year I'm going to a new school (middle school), so I’m going to try to become popular! Should I start wearing a little bit of makeup? And should I try to become the kind of girl people like??

Insight/Advice:

Personally, I don’t think you should have to change a thing if you are happy the way that you are. If you want to make an adjustment and be more feminine this is totally your call, but the most important thing is that you stay true to yourself. Believe it or not even tomboys find love, and you’re more likely to find true love by being who you are. It’s natural to feel the pressure of starting over and wanting things to change, but you can not force it.

Afterthoughts

As you can tell that even the people who are popular question if they want that status. It’s really about finding happiness and finding where you are happy. You don’t have to sacrifice being happy just to be popular, nor do you have to take so much on at school to retain your popular status. Aim to be comfortable and free and without burden. Your social life should be bringing you joy not sadness or frustration. Remember that, and remember to ask yourself if you are truly happy. Do things for the right reasons, follow your gut and don’t worry about anything else.  

Even popular kids face stress.Even popular kids face stress.

Interested in getting in touch with Dear Dish-It? Simply email deardish@kidzworld.com with your concern, and we will address you on “Let’s Talk about it Tuesday” if your question is suitable for our topic of conversation. Regardless, keep your eyes peeled as Dear Dish-It it is covering a lot of issues, and you never know when your question or topic of concern will be featured in an article. Please let us know if you would like your handle to be listed as anonymous and list your age in your question if you would like as that can impact advice. To learn the Do's and Don'ts of Dear Dish-It and to find out what kind of questions are appropriate, check out this article!

Have Your Say

Do you like being popular? Do you feel happier just doing your own thing?

 

 

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