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Stay In Your Lane

Lately I've been getting tons of letters from members about boys, kissing and umm... sex. They all touch on the same thing - what is love? And what do I do when my boyfriend (or some guy) is pushing me to have sex?

Now, maybe because I was born centuries ago, the letters have surprised me. Cuz with girl-power and everything, I thought that girls would be harder with the fellas. You know, readin' them the riot act, not being pushed around or pressured and basically telling them where to go.

Well, chicks, are you? Do you ladies realize that what you do with your bodies and when you do it should be up to you? The push that these guys are giving is old (even I remember how it was.) Every school had the "fast girls" but "cool guys." The rumors would fly and you never really knew what was going on. Later I found out that nobody was getting much action, the boys just liked to talk.

Fast forward to now - sex is everywhere. It seems like "everybody's doing it, like on the discovery channel." Ha-Ha. You know what, it's not funny. It's not funny because for the first time, the nation's highest rate of rape is among teens. In 1998, there were almost 350,000 reported rapes and sexual assaults of victims 12 and older. That is more than double the rate for people 25 and older.

Girl-power then is not about how many tattoos or belly rings you have - or what cute guy you like and likes you. Girl-power is about understanding yourself and loving yourself, working hard at whatever you do and being able to SAY NO. In other words, stay in your own lane. You know when you're driving, you can't drift around. You have to be focused and know the rules.

What are your rules for staying in your lane? If you don't have enough maybe you need some. Check these out. Happy driving!

  • I will not get myself into situations involving drugs or alcohol.
  • I will focus on school and do my best.
  • I will not let boys or anybody force me to do something that I don't want to.
  • I will set goals for myself and make a plan to achieve them.
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Dear Dish-It in the forums

hugebear
hugebear posted in Family Issues:
You doesnt have to come out to your family until your ready and until they is ready too.  If you blurt it out it could be the shock.  You says that you think your Mums side of the family will be more supportive.  Has you got an Aunty or Uncle what you could discuss this with?  An adult member of your family what is most likely supportive  could probably give the best advises on how to tell your family and when and how and prepares you for how they will react. Good luck mate and takes your time :angel
reply about 3 hours
Mrawsomegamer
I think my mothers side of the family would be fine with it. It's my dad's side I'm most concerned about. My dad says some dreadfully terrible remarks about homosexual people. I think I'm not gunna tell him at all. Ever...  Either way. Thanks for the advice!
reply about 3 hours
Kirsteeeeen
If you don't think that you'll be in a safe situation (for example, your parents try to kick you out, or hurt you physically or emotionally) than you should definitely wait to tell them. I think you'll know when the time is right. We can't tell you how they'll react, but I bet you can sort of figure it out from how they feel and act about these topics.  Remember, you are not obligated to tell anybody at all. It's personal. Wait until you're for sure ready to tell them. And when you do, tell them the way in which it's easiest. Get your point across, offer resources, reassurance, and give them time. 
reply about 3 hours
Mrawsomegamer
Hey guys, so I do kinda have a personal issue, but I need to tell my family about it. Truth is, I'm not even sure how they'll even react. Very few of my friends know, only the ones I trust anyway... I'm gay. Or at least bisexual. I kinda had a thing for girls, but that was a long time ago. I think I'm fully gay. I have a very supportive boyfriend, who loves me with all his heart. But that's not what it's about; it's actually coming out to my family, whom I know some of them are quite homophobic. Homophobia runs in my family. Sorta...  It makes my stomach turn when I think about it. I sometimes look into the mirror, look at myself and think if my conscience suddenly made me decide I was gay, or if I was born with it. Science tells us that we are born that way, due to lack of man chemicals entering a boys brain when in development. I feel like I've chosen it (even though I know deep inside I haven't) to be gay, probably because of my family almost forcing me into getting a girlfriend and such. I come from a Catholic family, to make things even worse. I'm like the only practising person in my family, but somehow I feel that they'll use my Faith against me if I come out.  So, should I just wait until I'm older? How do I know when the time is right? How will they even react? How should I even say it?  Please help!
reply about 4 hours
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
This thread has been moved. Click here to see the new thread.
reply about 5 hours

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