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Stay In Your Lane

Lately I've been getting tons of letters from members about boys, kissing and umm... sex. They all touch on the same thing - what is love? And what do I do when my boyfriend (or some guy) is pushing me to have sex?

Now, maybe because I was born centuries ago, the letters have surprised me. Cuz with girl-power and everything, I thought that girls would be harder with the fellas. You know, readin' them the riot act, not being pushed around or pressured and basically telling them where to go.

Well, chicks, are you? Do you ladies realize that what you do with your bodies and when you do it should be up to you? The push that these guys are giving is old (even I remember how it was.) Every school had the "fast girls" but "cool guys." The rumors would fly and you never really knew what was going on. Later I found out that nobody was getting much action, the boys just liked to talk.

Fast forward to now - sex is everywhere. It seems like "everybody's doing it, like on the discovery channel." Ha-Ha. You know what, it's not funny. It's not funny because for the first time, the nation's highest rate of rape is among teens. In 1998, there were almost 350,000 reported rapes and sexual assaults of victims 12 and older. That is more than double the rate for people 25 and older.

Girl-power then is not about how many tattoos or belly rings you have - or what cute guy you like and likes you. Girl-power is about understanding yourself and loving yourself, working hard at whatever you do and being able to SAY NO. In other words, stay in your own lane. You know when you're driving, you can't drift around. You have to be focused and know the rules.

What are your rules for staying in your lane? If you don't have enough maybe you need some. Check these out. Happy driving!

  • I will not get myself into situations involving drugs or alcohol.
  • I will focus on school and do my best.
  • I will not let boys or anybody force me to do something that I don't want to.
  • I will set goals for myself and make a plan to achieve them.
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10 Comments

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How Do You Know You're Crushing?

  • I daydream about the person 24/7.
  • I feel like I'm gonna puke.
  • I blush big-time!
  • All of the above - and so much more.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

SmartSunnyShadow
I have one so annoying sister, that it feels like I have 200 of them, oh my god. She's pounding on the door right now, HELP! 
reply about 7 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
Dad, obviously. I can't even explain what he does to me!
reply about 7 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
Well, if they are your BFFs, they shouldn't be teasing you to make you feel bad. Me, and my BFFs tease each other all the time playfully, but I understand that this is different, and if it's making you feel bad it isn't playful at all.   Maybe your eldest friend is having some trouble with family issues, bad grades, body changes, etc. It's okay to be angry, so maybe you should leave her space for a few days, and see if it turns better. If it isn't, then try to first make her calm down. Then, make her talk to you about why she is so angry and ask if you can try to help. If nothing turns out better, tell her that you feel uncomfortable, and you want her to talk to you.  For your 3rd eldest friend, support her as much as possible, and stand up for her in this terrible situation. If you are all BFFs, then you should all be very close and comfortable around each other, and the fight shouldn't last long. If not, they are not your real friends, and you have to go on without them. I have tons of advice on how to make new friends, so just ask me if you want to know. Your 2nd eldest friend seems to be the main problem.  First of all, tell her to stop, and say how you don't like her bullying you. You must say what she is doing wrong, and how it makes you feel. If she doesn't care, tell her you're serious, and you hate what she is doing to you. If it continues, ignore what trash she is saying, and just simply walk away. Focus on other things that will help make you feel better. Remember, all she is is a person, and it's up to you to act appropriately.  Stay positive, and calm. Focus on other things, and if she continues, tell her that you can all be friends and you miss her. Go get another friend to stand up with you, and tell her that you will report to an adult if she won't stop. She may be your friend, but she deserves it. I told on my BFF when she was mean, so it's all okay now.  If all else fails, get a trusted adult, and hang out with nicer friends. Your other friends will learn from their mistakes. If not, warn them, and give them a sincere kindness note of how you miss being friends. Then, also give one to the bully.
reply about 7 hours
AnnaOfExquizurd
Yeah, @CyclonicBass the best option really is to find a girl with a quirky personality. Become friends with her. Possibly, over time, she'll grow close to you and accept a request to be with you. Hope it goes well!
reply 1 day
drowning
You go out and you find someone who you can be you with. It's not a hard question to find the answer too.
reply 1 day