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Stay In Your Lane

Lately I've been getting tons of letters from members about boys, kissing and umm... sex. They all touch on the same thing - what is love? And what do I do when my boyfriend (or some guy) is pushing me to have sex?

Now, maybe because I was born centuries ago, the letters have surprised me. Cuz with girl-power and everything, I thought that girls would be harder with the fellas. You know, readin' them the riot act, not being pushed around or pressured and basically telling them where to go.

Well, chicks, are you? Do you ladies realize that what you do with your bodies and when you do it should be up to you? The push that these guys are giving is old (even I remember how it was.) Every school had the "fast girls" but "cool guys." The rumors would fly and you never really knew what was going on. Later I found out that nobody was getting much action, the boys just liked to talk.

Fast forward to now - sex is everywhere. It seems like "everybody's doing it, like on the discovery channel." Ha-Ha. You know what, it's not funny. It's not funny because for the first time, the nation's highest rate of rape is among teens. In 1998, there were almost 350,000 reported rapes and sexual assaults of victims 12 and older. That is more than double the rate for people 25 and older.

Girl-power then is not about how many tattoos or belly rings you have - or what cute guy you like and likes you. Girl-power is about understanding yourself and loving yourself, working hard at whatever you do and being able to SAY NO. In other words, stay in your own lane. You know when you're driving, you can't drift around. You have to be focused and know the rules.

What are your rules for staying in your lane? If you don't have enough maybe you need some. Check these out. Happy driving!

  • I will not get myself into situations involving drugs or alcohol.
  • I will focus on school and do my best.
  • I will not let boys or anybody force me to do something that I don't want to.
  • I will set goals for myself and make a plan to achieve them.
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Dear Dish-It in the forums

-Gwen9--
-Gwen9-- posted in Friends:
"jordand08" wrote:Thank you.You're welcome. :)
reply 12 minutes
donteatcarrots
talk to the person you're closest too. yes, you said you don't get close with people, but there's probably one person who you speak to more often than others- talk to that person.
reply about 2 hours
donteatcarrots
donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
Don't worry too much- it's only your first relationship- but I'd sit down with him at one point, and discuss what makes you uncomfortable, eg; if you know what I mean...
reply about 2 hours
donteatcarrots
donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
Probably sound a little stereotypical, but the majority of boys don't really act like that... Ask him :p
reply about 2 hours
kittenkid
First: WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T KILL YOUSELF! When you get past this you'll be glad. Well, this is just my opinion, but I think you should first find someone, anyone, even if you don't trust them, if there're your parents talk to them about it. I bet a bunch of people have already told you this but there're right. Before you walk up to them, write down what you're going to say and then think of a few questions they might ask and write down the answers to them. Remember to tell them that it might take you a minute to think of an answer. Before you answer, think of the exact words you will say  before you say anything, and think in your mind about it. Think about wether it is a lie or not before you say it. If it gets out of you mouth before you realize it is a lie, don't be afraid to say so and just say the truth. Also, just try to find something you like to do that will take your mind off everything. If you really can't think of anything, try just practicing saying your feelings to yourself, or a pillow or something.  Hope this helps!
reply about 4 hours

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