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Dear Dish-It, I Want to Sleep With Him

Dear Dish-It gives advice on teen sex, boys, boyfriends, girls, girlfriends and crushes.
Dear Dish-It Advice on Sex

Dear Dish-It,

I want to sleep with this kid I believe I am in love with but I am scared. I am 14 and he is 17. I have known this kid for a year. We have been friends through thick and thin and we have gotten intimate. I really like him...I LOVE HIM! We have never gone out (been girlfriend and boyfriend) but he has always said he loves me and he has always been there for me. I want to sleep with him but then again I am scared! I really am not doing it for him. I want to do it! Should I go ahead and do it? How should I approach him and tell him I want to sleep with him? I am mostly afraid of gettin' pregnant. I can't get on birth control and condoms don't always work. My life would be OVER if I got pregnant....HELP PLEASE!
SwEeTnSeXcNaNa


Dear SwEeTnSeXcNaNa,

You're scared? Good. You should be. Having sex is a BIG deal. Seriously. It will change your life. It's good that you are worried about getting pregnant, but you should also be worried about STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases.) They can really make "your life OVER" - as in death. And you're right, condoms are not 100 percent safe... just so you know - no birth control method is 100 percent safe. So, you're putting yourself at risk for a possible pregnancy or STD anytime you have sex. Using birth control pills and condoms only reduces the risk, it doesn't take it away.


I think you need to chill. I'm glad you found a guy that you like and who is there for you when you need someone, but I don't think that you should have sex with him right away. You're 14 and he's 17 and that's a pretty big age gap right now... in some states it is even illegal for him to have sex with you. And besides, you sound a little too wigged-out. You'll probably always be a little scared the first time you have sex with someone, but you're too scared right now - it means you aren't ready. And why can't you get on birth control? Are you too scared to go to a doctor or a clinic? If you can't talk about it with a doctor and take the right precautions because you are too embarassed or shy or scared, you aren't ready.


Dear Dish-It,

My boyfriend's mom called to tell me not to have sex with her son. I'm not like that!!!
briansangel5


Dear briansangel5,

Well, are you having sex with her son? I'm not sure by what you mean when you say "I'm not like that!" You aren't the type to have sex with her son - or you aren't the type to stop having sex with her son just cuz she asked you to? I am gonna go out on a limb here and guess that you aren't the type to have sex with her son. If that's the case - then you need to tell Mrs. BF Mom that you aren't - and you wouldn't. It's okay to be a little offended by her assuming that you are "that type." Let her know you're kinda irked too. I mean, it's a little freaky that the mom would call you up and freak on ya. But... have you given her reason to think you two have had sex? And talk to the BF - find out wassup on his side.


Dear Dish-It,

Hey, I'm new here and I was wondering if you think this guy likes me? He tells me that my hair smells good every day and that my eyes are pretty. He goes around school singing "Hey you know you're soo fine!" We have been friends for a while and he just started acting like this. But, he is also the kind of guy to play jokes and I help him with his homework. I really need to know what you think. Thanks!
dancingdiva89


Dear Dancingdiva89,

What do you need - a neon sign? LOL! I'm kidding girlfriend, but seriously - where I stand the signs are pretty clear. This dude likes you. He may be a jokester, but I got a feeling that this isn't meant to be funny. Where's the punch line in telling you your hair smells good or your eyes are pretty? There isn't one - he just digs ya. So why not give him a compliment back next time? Tell him you like his shirt or his shoes or something. And while you're helping him with his homework take a break and chat him up. Talk about his hobbies, his interests, yours... you know - get the ball rolling! If you have something in common, then maybe you can hang together. This sounds like a definite love match to me. Good luck!


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Boysrock50
Boysrock50 posted in Friends:
The perfect friend would always be there to support you when you have a problem, and will offer to help. The perfect friend is someone who guides you to doing the right things, not the wrong things. They would make the effort to talk to you, not wait for you to contact them first all the time, as friendship should be a 50-50 relationship. They would stay your friend for years, not leave you as soon as they find someone 'cooler'. They won't act different around others to impress them and leave you. They would listen to you just as much as they tell you things. They would turn to you as their first choice, not their reserve choice. But most importantly, the perfect friend would be someone who always makes you happy to be with.
reply about 1 hour
brunostar
brunostar posted in Friends:
You want someone who cares, understands and will be there for you, and not just when you're down. You want someone who makes you smile and laugh at 3 am and you have to try not to giggle in class because of something that happened a weeks ago. Everyone fights, but you don't want someone who you constantly fight with and who makes you feel down or drops your self-esteem. If someone bothers you to do bad stuff, walk the other direction and don't take in the negative force. I'm the type of person that takes people in for who they are, I care and listen and try my best to make them laugh and be happy. I have gotten mixed with bad friends as in talking me into negative things, constantly making me feel down, ditching for other people, insulting other friends. I need to change how I act, I seem to annoy and bother people a lot. And possibly I care too much, I also at times understand too little. I get attached to easily and hurt easily. I don't know what else you asked so imma end this now xD
reply about 1 hour
MissD
MissD posted in Friends:
Describe the perfect friend in your opinion.  In what ways are you a good friend? What do you need to do to become a better friend?  What do you think? 
reply about 2 hours
MissD
MissD posted in Friends:
Honestly? They aren't safe for you. Depression is difficult to overcome. Especially when people are negative about it around you. If they refuse to believe you, then there is no point trying to be friends with them again. Some people just don't accept mental problems or swear that they are being faked. I never quite understood why people don't acknowledge it, but whatever. Moving on from that, you should find friends that you don't need to pretend around - depression isn't too uncommon. Look and listen. You'll find the right people - they just proved that they weren't it. No one can go back and make a brand-new start, but anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending!  I really like the post above me, Huntress that was really good advice. I have a theory, there are two kinds of people in the world, Vampires and Sunshine. The vampires, take from us: they suck our self esteem, positive thoughts, smiles, energy.. YUCK. Sunshine on the other hand, gives and gives. You feel warmer just being around sunshine people, they lift you up, remind you about your good qualities, cheer for you and help you be your best most true self.  Here is the other thing about Vampires and Sunshine - Vampires tend to run in packs, they draw their power from taking other peoples away - and IMO they are insatiable. Sunshine people are awesome, even if you only have one in your life - it's enough.  I hope you will look around and see if you can spot the difference, I'd love to know if you have at least one Sunshine person in your life - let go of those horrible vampires, in the end you will feel much better for having made that empowered decision!!  Good Luck! 
reply about 2 hours
Huntress
Huntress posted in Friends:
Honestly? They aren't safe for you. Depression is difficult to overcome. Especially when people are negative about it around you. If they refuse to believe you, then there is no point trying to be friends with them again. Some people just don't accept mental problems or swear that they are being faked. I never quite understood why people don't acknowledge it, but whatever. Moving on from that, you should find friends that you don't need to pretend around - depression isn't too uncommon. Look and listen. You'll find the right people - they just proved that they weren't it.
reply about 2 hours

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