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Dear Dish-It, I Want to Sleep With Him

Dear Dish-It,

I want to sleep with this kid I believe I am in love with but I am scared. I am 14 and he is 17. I have known this kid for a year. We have been friends through thick and thin and we have gotten intimate. I really like him...I LOVE HIM! We have never gone out (been girlfriend and boyfriend) but he has always said he loves me and he has always been there for me. I want to sleep with him but then again I am scared! I really am not doing it for him. I want to do it! Should I go ahead and do it? How should I approach him and tell him I want to sleep with him? I am mostly afraid of gettin' pregnant. I can't get on birth control and condoms don't always work. My life would be OVER if I got pregnant....HELP PLEASE!

Dear SwEeTnSeXcNaNa,

You're scared? Good. You should be. Having sex is a BIG deal. Seriously. It will change your life. It's good that you are worried about getting pregnant, but you should also be worried about STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases.) They can really make "your life OVER" - as in death. And you're right, condoms are not 100 percent safe... just so you know - no birth control method is 100 percent safe. So, you're putting yourself at risk for a possible pregnancy or STD anytime you have sex. Using birth control pills and condoms only reduces the risk, it doesn't take it away.

I think you need to chill. I'm glad you found a guy that you like and who is there for you when you need someone, but I don't think that you should have sex with him right away. You're 14 and he's 17 and that's a pretty big age gap right now... in some states it is even illegal for him to have sex with you. And besides, you sound a little too wigged-out. You'll probably always be a little scared the first time you have sex with someone, but you're too scared right now - it means you aren't ready. And why can't you get on birth control? Are you too scared to go to a doctor or a clinic? If you can't talk about it with a doctor and take the right precautions because you are too embarassed or shy or scared, you aren't ready.

Dear Dish-It,

My boyfriend's mom called to tell me not to have sex with her son. I'm not like that!!!

Dear briansangel5,

Well, are you having sex with her son? I'm not sure by what you mean when you say "I'm not like that!" You aren't the type to have sex with her son - or you aren't the type to stop having sex with her son just cuz she asked you to? I am gonna go out on a limb here and guess that you aren't the type to have sex with her son. If that's the case - then you need to tell Mrs. BF Mom that you aren't - and you wouldn't. It's okay to be a little offended by her assuming that you are "that type." Let her know you're kinda irked too. I mean, it's a little freaky that the mom would call you up and freak on ya. But... have you given her reason to think you two have had sex? And talk to the BF - find out wassup on his side.

Dear Dish-It,

Hey, I'm new here and I was wondering if you think this guy likes me? He tells me that my hair smells good every day and that my eyes are pretty. He goes around school singing "Hey you know you're soo fine!" We have been friends for a while and he just started acting like this. But, he is also the kind of guy to play jokes and I help him with his homework. I really need to know what you think. Thanks!

Dear Dancingdiva89,

What do you need - a neon sign? LOL! I'm kidding girlfriend, but seriously - where I stand the signs are pretty clear. This dude likes you. He may be a jokester, but I got a feeling that this isn't meant to be funny. Where's the punch line in telling you your hair smells good or your eyes are pretty? There isn't one - he just digs ya. So why not give him a compliment back next time? Tell him you like his shirt or his shoes or something. And while you're helping him with his homework take a break and chat him up. Talk about his hobbies, his interests, yours... you know - get the ball rolling! If you have something in common, then maybe you can hang together. This sounds like a definite love match to me. Good luck!

So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

tasfia posted in Family Issues:
With both of them :-)   I just sleep in the middle :-p
reply about 16 hours
Dear Dish-it, i always wanted to be in a band but my parents are saying you should forget about that, you should get a real future. I have fought my case by they just get it.  Please help me Bye
reply 1 day
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
Maybe he likes you, as a friend or as more.
reply 2 days
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
Friends grow apart as we grow up and change at different rates. It's fine to stop being friends, but it doesn't have to be in a mean way. The best thing to do is talk to her (nicely). You don't have to tell her she's being childish or you feel as if you've matured more. That would be terrible. Talk about things you guys like to do in common or make plans to try new things together. Or don't mention it at all, but don't just begin ignoring her. Eventually the friendship will fade the less time you spend together. 
reply 2 days
Amalegend20 posted in Friends:
You should be nice to her. If you have to break the news gently don't make her feel bad just talk to her about and see what she says  
reply 3 days

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