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Dear Dish-It, I Want to Sleep With Him

Dear Dish-It,

I want to sleep with this kid I believe I am in love with but I am scared. I am 14 and he is 17. I have known this kid for a year. We have been friends through thick and thin and we have gotten intimate. I really like him...I LOVE HIM! We have never gone out (been girlfriend and boyfriend) but he has always said he loves me and he has always been there for me. I want to sleep with him but then again I am scared! I really am not doing it for him. I want to do it! Should I go ahead and do it? How should I approach him and tell him I want to sleep with him? I am mostly afraid of gettin' pregnant. I can't get on birth control and condoms don't always work. My life would be OVER if I got pregnant....HELP PLEASE!
SwEeTnSeXcNaNa


Dear SwEeTnSeXcNaNa,

You're scared? Good. You should be. Having sex is a BIG deal. Seriously. It will change your life. It's good that you are worried about getting pregnant, but you should also be worried about STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases.) They can really make "your life OVER" - as in death. And you're right, condoms are not 100 percent safe... just so you know - no birth control method is 100 percent safe. So, you're putting yourself at risk for a possible pregnancy or STD anytime you have sex. Using birth control pills and condoms only reduces the risk, it doesn't take it away.


I think you need to chill. I'm glad you found a guy that you like and who is there for you when you need someone, but I don't think that you should have sex with him right away. You're 14 and he's 17 and that's a pretty big age gap right now... in some states it is even illegal for him to have sex with you. And besides, you sound a little too wigged-out. You'll probably always be a little scared the first time you have sex with someone, but you're too scared right now - it means you aren't ready. And why can't you get on birth control? Are you too scared to go to a doctor or a clinic? If you can't talk about it with a doctor and take the right precautions because you are too embarassed or shy or scared, you aren't ready.


Dear Dish-It,

My boyfriend's mom called to tell me not to have sex with her son. I'm not like that!!!
briansangel5


Dear briansangel5,

Well, are you having sex with her son? I'm not sure by what you mean when you say "I'm not like that!" You aren't the type to have sex with her son - or you aren't the type to stop having sex with her son just cuz she asked you to? I am gonna go out on a limb here and guess that you aren't the type to have sex with her son. If that's the case - then you need to tell Mrs. BF Mom that you aren't - and you wouldn't. It's okay to be a little offended by her assuming that you are "that type." Let her know you're kinda irked too. I mean, it's a little freaky that the mom would call you up and freak on ya. But... have you given her reason to think you two have had sex? And talk to the BF - find out wassup on his side.


Dear Dish-It,

Hey, I'm new here and I was wondering if you think this guy likes me? He tells me that my hair smells good every day and that my eyes are pretty. He goes around school singing "Hey you know you're soo fine!" We have been friends for a while and he just started acting like this. But, he is also the kind of guy to play jokes and I help him with his homework. I really need to know what you think. Thanks!
dancingdiva89


Dear Dancingdiva89,

What do you need - a neon sign? LOL! I'm kidding girlfriend, but seriously - where I stand the signs are pretty clear. This dude likes you. He may be a jokester, but I got a feeling that this isn't meant to be funny. Where's the punch line in telling you your hair smells good or your eyes are pretty? There isn't one - he just digs ya. So why not give him a compliment back next time? Tell him you like his shirt or his shoes or something. And while you're helping him with his homework take a break and chat him up. Talk about his hobbies, his interests, yours... you know - get the ball rolling! If you have something in common, then maybe you can hang together. This sounds like a definite love match to me. Good luck!


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

-Gwen9--
-Gwen9-- posted in Friends:
"jordand08" wrote:Thank you.You're welcome. :)
reply about 8 hours
donteatcarrots
talk to the person you're closest too. yes, you said you don't get close with people, but there's probably one person who you speak to more often than others- talk to that person.
reply about 10 hours
donteatcarrots
donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
Don't worry too much- it's only your first relationship- but I'd sit down with him at one point, and discuss what makes you uncomfortable, eg; if you know what I mean...
reply about 10 hours
donteatcarrots
donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
Probably sound a little stereotypical, but the majority of boys don't really act like that... Ask him :p
reply about 10 hours
kittenkid
First: WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T KILL YOUSELF! When you get past this you'll be glad. Well, this is just my opinion, but I think you should first find someone, anyone, even if you don't trust them, if there're your parents talk to them about it. I bet a bunch of people have already told you this but there're right. Before you walk up to them, write down what you're going to say and then think of a few questions they might ask and write down the answers to them. Remember to tell them that it might take you a minute to think of an answer. Before you answer, think of the exact words you will say  before you say anything, and think in your mind about it. Think about wether it is a lie or not before you say it. If it gets out of you mouth before you realize it is a lie, don't be afraid to say so and just say the truth. Also, just try to find something you like to do that will take your mind off everything. If you really can't think of anything, try just practicing saying your feelings to yourself, or a pillow or something.  Hope this helps!
reply about 12 hours

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