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Dear Dish-It, How Do I Get Him To Notice Me?

Dear Dish-It,

I really like this guy but I can’t seem to get him to notice me. We talk and stuff but not that much. He’s really smart and so am I, but if you know a way I can get him to see I like him this would be good.

L-kk


Dear L-kk,


You sound like a girl with a good head on her shoulders! As such, I am going to give you some smart advice to deal with this little issue of yours – how to get your crush to like you back.


First of all, if you and the object of your desire already talk from time to time, then that is a positive sign. He already knows you exist, so you don’t have to work hard at all to make that apparent to him. However, what I hear you saying is you want to take your relationship to another level with this guy. Meaning, you want to see if there’s a potential for something more than casual friendship between the two of you.


Here’s the thing. Since it doesn’t seem like this guy considers you to be more than just a friend (for now!), you have to be careful about how you make it clear to him that you want to and can be more to him than that. You see, despite the fact you two are both smart, guys and girls are actually quite different from each other in terms of how they perceive the people around them and how they act on their emotions.


What I’m trying to say is this: until this guy actually shows some interest in you beyond friendship, there’s not much I really think you can do about the situation. While it would be tempting, I’m sure, for you to come right out and tell him exactly how you feel, I think in your case you need to act with a little more grace than that. Guys love the thrill of the chase, and if you’re too upfront with him about your emotions he may get frightened.


I think until you reach a point with this person where you know for sure he’s got some interest in you beyond just friendship, you need to be careful and subtle in the signals you give him. One way you could let him know you’re available is to make it obvious to him that you two share similar interests and have a lot of things in common. But you need to always keep your cool and act calm and collected around your crush – going nuts and joining all the same clubs he’s in or taking up the tuba because he’s in the band, etc., is not cool and will probably work against you.


I say just keep being friends with him. Try and make your friendship grow naturally – like I said, don’t force it. Once he realizes you’re a great girl and he likes hanging around you, you can try some different tactics to take your relationship a step further, For now, the best advice I can give you is to be yourself and continue doing what you’re doing. Hopefully you’re friendship will grow and, as it does, so will your feelings for each other.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.


More Dish-It Advice:

  • What’s Going On With My Body?
  • I Have A Chat Room Boyfriend
  • My Parents Are Getting Divorced
  • I’m A Big Flirt!
  • More Great Advice from Dish-It!
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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

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    drowning posted in Family Issues:
    I hope you texted back if you felt that it would be the right thing to do for yourself. I did not have a good childhood due to my birthmother and father. But, in recent time, I have come to enjoy talking to my birthfather and completely cannot stand my birthmother or her new husband anymore. I plan to actually meet him for the first time in 16 years if I can join my fiancé's family vacation.  Point of the matter, do what you feel is right. If you want to talk to him; talk to him. If you don't, don't reply if you don't feel comfortable too. It is purely your choice who you allow in your life, even when it comes down to blood and family.
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    drowning
    drowning posted in Family Issues:
    It isn't pathetic in the slightest to seek help. I don't think it is right for your mother and siblings to completely disown you over your choice of living arrangements. If they have pushed you away, remember that it is not your fault and it is purely theirs. You made a choice that you felt would benefit you, and judging from their behavior, it was a good choice. As for your father, I don't fight with my own very much, but when I do it tends to be pretty bad. My mother on the other hand, I fight with constantly so I understand where you're coming from. You shouldn't have to do anything. From the sound of it, it seems more like a personal issue going on with himself, especially a sense of shame or regret with his previous exes so he uses you as an outlet because you're the closest thing he has.  I say find an outlet, a healthy one. Sometimes it is best to let them ramble on until they wear themselves out, but remember that self-defense and "talking back" is not always a bad thing just because they are your guardian. It is important to take a stand for yourself. Be respectful, don't sink to their level.
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    drowning
    drowning posted in Family Issues:
    I think it is very important to find a healthy outlet and someone to talk to whether it's a doctor, friend, family member, ect. You can even find a journal to write in, if it will help you. I promise you, it isn't worth it to let families opinions and views affect you. I let the same thing happen to me and I still struggle over things that I wish I didn't.
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    drowning
    drowning posted in Friends:
    Personally, given your age, the idea of a crush is a bit cute, but you're a little young for anything serious. I would recommend waiting until you truly know what you're doing. (And, believe me, you may not see it now, but you will when you're older.) But, if you really do want to find out, you need to remember that boys and girls both feel things. Boys aren't aliens, they aren't emotionless, and they aren't always just  dumbieheads.  You'll find it funny later on in life from how nervous you had gotten over a crush So honestly, just be straight forward. If you need a topic starter to bring it up, joke about old rumors that used to spread about you both.
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