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Dear Dish-It, My Ex Is Being A Jerk

Dear Dish-It,

This month, my boyfriend broke up with me. It would have been four months if he'd let it last. But now he keeps being this total jerk. And the thing about him breaking up with me is, he didn't say it to my face and he didn't say it himself – one of my friends did. And then he says mean things and keeps going out with my BFFL's (not so much anymore). I want to ask him about the whole thing, but I don't want him to say something again or not listen or anything else. I'm so super scared. What can I do so I don't get my feelings crushed again?

TotallyHeartBroken


Dear TotallyHeartBroken,


I feel for you – I really do. I’ve been through it before, too. In fact, most of us will go through a heartbreak or two during our lives. It’s normal and natural and, even though you may not be able to see how this could be possible right now, it makes you a stronger and better person in the long run. Pain and hard times always have a way of doing that, because painful and difficult situations always present a hidden lesson to us. If we look hard enough and choose to learn from these lessons, we can come out the other side of pain stronger and better people than we were before.


Having said that, I know you’re feeling incredibly hurt and disappointed right now. I know you want to talk to your ex and find out all the answers to all your questions that keep lingering on in your mind. However, no matter how big a jerk he’s being or how much he continues to hurt you, I think you need to be the strongest you can be right now and try not to let anything he says or does affect you. In other words, I truly think you should just let this go and write this guy off. Don’t ever speak to him again if you can help it.


Trying to talk to your ex would only show him (and everyone else, including yourself) that you are not over him. That is the last thing you want to do. You ,main goal right now is getting over him – and that means moving on. And the best way I know how to do this is to end all contact and try your best to forget about the past.


Easier said than done, I know. But it’s doable – trust me! You just have to believe in yourself and rely on your friends and family a bit for the next little while. Believe that you deserve better than what this guy gave and is giving you. Believe that there are plenty of fish in the sea and that your relationship with your ex will by no means be your last. Hang out with your friends and family more, and talk to them when you are feeling blue. Talking to your ex about your feelings at this point will not make you feel any better. You need to surround yourself with people who love and care for you, and who wouldn’t in a million years do anything to hurt you.


Stay strong, and you’ll make it through this!


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.


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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

drowning
drowning posted in Friends:
Did something happen between you two in the past? If so, I feel like she might have some unresolved issues with you that you need to discuss with her. And, time doesn't always mean a lot. I've gotten closer to someone before compared to someone whom I had known for 8 years.
reply about 5 hours
country_girl19
country_girl19 posted in Friends:
Dear Dish-it,                          Me and my friend just started talking again, and it seems like she regrets it. She'll leave me for the people she has only known for a couple of months, when I've been friends with her for a year. Also, she gets annoyed with me, and I don't know what to do.
reply about 5 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
I'll be honest, I don't think that it's very fair that you're placing so much blame on your mother. Cancer is very hard to heal in any animal or person. She may of been able to help one spot, but that doesn't mean that she was going to be able to heal the rest. There's a slim chance that they could of made it through, but it's probably for the best that she put him down. Cancer is a painful thing to go through for dogs and humans alike. It would of been worse to push it. As for the depression, I understand where you're coming from with it. It's a difficult thing to go through and it makes things hard to do. I've struggled with things in the past and sometimes still do, so take my word on this: Eat. What. You. Can. Don't starve yourself. Don't binge. Don't do anything. Keep eating. Your health matters too. You need to find things to do, like hobbies (drawing, reading, writing, ect.) and spend time with friends when you can. At least talk to your friends, don't push them away. They're there for you, even when they might not know how to be. Don't be ashamed to cry, it's perfectly fine too. It's a better alternative of getting things out than a lot of things you could be doing. Do not, under any circumstances, start cutting. Take it from someone who's dealt with it on a personal level in several ways, do not start it. It is not something you "won't get addicted too" and it will not be a "one time thing." Do not try it. Do not start it. Do not try to find "softer" alternatives to cutting. Self-harm is not a fixer, it does not help anything. It isn't something to be ashamed of. It's a personal issue along with mental illness. But it is a very big deal. "And to go and kill him like that instead of getting him help?" There isn't always a place to help. Sometimes it won't do the things we wish it would.
reply about 12 hours
RavenClawRaina
My dog, Loki, was old and had cancer. He was 14. My mom healed one of his cancer spots but not even a month later, she put him down. He had life in him. He played like a puppy. If she healed one spot, why couldnt she heal the rest? He could have lived right? He was like my little brother, I loved him like one. He was family. Every since he passed, Ive been depressed. Losing weight and not wanting to go out and hangout with friends. Me and my mom get into fights more. At some points, I hate her for what she did. I dont dare tell anyone about my depression and I cry every night until 3:30 am. I have considered cutting but I dont want anyone to judge me. Im not going to but I just want someone to understand what his loss did to my heart. Ive had him since i was a baby. He was my best friend. And to go and kill him like that instead of getting him help? I was mad. Can anyone relate? Can someone help me? ( im not going to a therapist btw ) UGH WHAT DO I DO?!  
reply about 15 hours
Pokemonlegends05
Sometimes Video Games can Cheer you up as well. Happy, Vibrant Games: New Super Mario Bros. U Pokemon Shuffle Any of the Mario Party games. Minecraft Super Mario 3d world (Wow, a ton of Mario games :p) Jak and Daxter Super Mario 64 These are useful for making this :e into this  =(
reply 6 days