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Dear Dish-It, My Ex Is Being A Jerk

Dear Dish-It,

This month, my boyfriend broke up with me. It would have been four months if he'd let it last. But now he keeps being this total jerk. And the thing about him breaking up with me is, he didn't say it to my face and he didn't say it himself – one of my friends did. And then he says mean things and keeps going out with my BFFL's (not so much anymore). I want to ask him about the whole thing, but I don't want him to say something again or not listen or anything else. I'm so super scared. What can I do so I don't get my feelings crushed again?

TotallyHeartBroken


Dear TotallyHeartBroken,


I feel for you – I really do. I’ve been through it before, too. In fact, most of us will go through a heartbreak or two during our lives. It’s normal and natural and, even though you may not be able to see how this could be possible right now, it makes you a stronger and better person in the long run. Pain and hard times always have a way of doing that, because painful and difficult situations always present a hidden lesson to us. If we look hard enough and choose to learn from these lessons, we can come out the other side of pain stronger and better people than we were before.


Having said that, I know you’re feeling incredibly hurt and disappointed right now. I know you want to talk to your ex and find out all the answers to all your questions that keep lingering on in your mind. However, no matter how big a jerk he’s being or how much he continues to hurt you, I think you need to be the strongest you can be right now and try not to let anything he says or does affect you. In other words, I truly think you should just let this go and write this guy off. Don’t ever speak to him again if you can help it.


Trying to talk to your ex would only show him (and everyone else, including yourself) that you are not over him. That is the last thing you want to do. You ,main goal right now is getting over him – and that means moving on. And the best way I know how to do this is to end all contact and try your best to forget about the past.


Easier said than done, I know. But it’s doable – trust me! You just have to believe in yourself and rely on your friends and family a bit for the next little while. Believe that you deserve better than what this guy gave and is giving you. Believe that there are plenty of fish in the sea and that your relationship with your ex will by no means be your last. Hang out with your friends and family more, and talk to them when you are feeling blue. Talking to your ex about your feelings at this point will not make you feel any better. You need to surround yourself with people who love and care for you, and who wouldn’t in a million years do anything to hurt you.


Stay strong, and you’ll make it through this!


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.


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Dear Dish-It in the forums

-Gwen9--
-Gwen9-- posted in Friends:
"jordand08" wrote:Thank you.You're welcome. :)
reply about 8 hours
donteatcarrots
talk to the person you're closest too. yes, you said you don't get close with people, but there's probably one person who you speak to more often than others- talk to that person.
reply about 10 hours
donteatcarrots
donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
Don't worry too much- it's only your first relationship- but I'd sit down with him at one point, and discuss what makes you uncomfortable, eg; if you know what I mean...
reply about 10 hours
donteatcarrots
donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
Probably sound a little stereotypical, but the majority of boys don't really act like that... Ask him :p
reply about 10 hours
kittenkid
First: WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T KILL YOUSELF! When you get past this you'll be glad. Well, this is just my opinion, but I think you should first find someone, anyone, even if you don't trust them, if there're your parents talk to them about it. I bet a bunch of people have already told you this but there're right. Before you walk up to them, write down what you're going to say and then think of a few questions they might ask and write down the answers to them. Remember to tell them that it might take you a minute to think of an answer. Before you answer, think of the exact words you will say  before you say anything, and think in your mind about it. Think about wether it is a lie or not before you say it. If it gets out of you mouth before you realize it is a lie, don't be afraid to say so and just say the truth. Also, just try to find something you like to do that will take your mind off everything. If you really can't think of anything, try just practicing saying your feelings to yourself, or a pillow or something.  Hope this helps!
reply about 12 hours

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