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Dear Dish-It, My Ex Is Being A Jerk

Dear Dish-It,

This month, my boyfriend broke up with me. It would have been four months if he'd let it last. But now he keeps being this total jerk. And the thing about him breaking up with me is, he didn't say it to my face and he didn't say it himself – one of my friends did. And then he says mean things and keeps going out with my BFFL's (not so much anymore). I want to ask him about the whole thing, but I don't want him to say something again or not listen or anything else. I'm so super scared. What can I do so I don't get my feelings crushed again?

TotallyHeartBroken


Dear TotallyHeartBroken,


I feel for you – I really do. I’ve been through it before, too. In fact, most of us will go through a heartbreak or two during our lives. It’s normal and natural and, even though you may not be able to see how this could be possible right now, it makes you a stronger and better person in the long run. Pain and hard times always have a way of doing that, because painful and difficult situations always present a hidden lesson to us. If we look hard enough and choose to learn from these lessons, we can come out the other side of pain stronger and better people than we were before.


Having said that, I know you’re feeling incredibly hurt and disappointed right now. I know you want to talk to your ex and find out all the answers to all your questions that keep lingering on in your mind. However, no matter how big a jerk he’s being or how much he continues to hurt you, I think you need to be the strongest you can be right now and try not to let anything he says or does affect you. In other words, I truly think you should just let this go and write this guy off. Don’t ever speak to him again if you can help it.


Trying to talk to your ex would only show him (and everyone else, including yourself) that you are not over him. That is the last thing you want to do. You ,main goal right now is getting over him – and that means moving on. And the best way I know how to do this is to end all contact and try your best to forget about the past.


Easier said than done, I know. But it’s doable – trust me! You just have to believe in yourself and rely on your friends and family a bit for the next little while. Believe that you deserve better than what this guy gave and is giving you. Believe that there are plenty of fish in the sea and that your relationship with your ex will by no means be your last. Hang out with your friends and family more, and talk to them when you are feeling blue. Talking to your ex about your feelings at this point will not make you feel any better. You need to surround yourself with people who love and care for you, and who wouldn’t in a million years do anything to hurt you.


Stay strong, and you’ll make it through this!


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.


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  • Boys are so hard to figure out.
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  • I think guys and girls are equally hard to understand.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

rainbowpoptart
Goodness... I see where your mother is coming from: if you eat too much, no matter how healthy the food is, and don't work off the calories, you're going to gain weight. But she's being very obsessive and dramatic about it. There is nothing wrong with eating pizza or a cookie every now and then, and there's nothing wrong with relaxing from time to time either. As long as you aren't constantly eating junk and not burning the calories, then you do not have a problem. Eating unhealthy things every now and then does not make you fat. EATING every now and then does not make you fat. Try explaining this to her, calmly and patiently. Tell her that you don't want to be forced to do all of this exercising - being forced to exercise makes it a lot less interesting. Do not take "This is for your own good" for an answer; if you do not want to do it, it is NOT for your good. (This, of course, would be a different story if you were actually fat.) ALSO tell her that exercising too much and not satiating your cravings is JUST AS UNHEALTHY AS BEING FAT IS. If you were to not eat healthful meals and not snack every now and then, no matter how healthy or unhealthy the food is, plus exercise so frequently, you would not be healthy.  Eating is good for you, even if the food isn't. Eating too little and eating too much is not healthy. Exercise is good for you. Not exercising enough and exercising too much is not good for you. If you talking to her doesn't help, try telling another adult how you feel, and maybe they can help get it through to her. Regardless of what happens, take care of yourself. Moderate how much you eat, but don't limit yourself to less than you feel you need. Exercise, but don't do something you don't want to; working out should be fun. Good luck with everything. I'm really sorry that she makes you feel so badly about this.
reply about 3 hours
jake495
jake495 posted in Family Issues:
Make sure she knows its your body not hers In a respectful way of course
reply about 4 hours
ThePaleWalker636
I'm perfectly happy with myself. I'm around 5'6" and somewhere between 140-150 pounds, and I don't feel fat. But my mom is constantly telling me that I am, or, at least, that I'm going to be. She forces me to go to exercise classes because I don't like many sports, tries making me go on diets, but I don't want to. She tells me that if I continue the way I am, having an extra cookie once in a while and only eating cereal for breakfast, that I'll end up fat, and she makes sure to emphasize how horrible that is for a person to live with. She rolls her eyes and sighs whenever she sees me getting a snack, and just in general makes me feel awful for eating the things I like and for relaxing. I've told her that I don't want to do these things and that she makes me feel bad when she says things like that, but she swears it's for my own good and that I should never want to be fat, that it ruins people's lives. How should I deal with this?
reply about 4 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Friends:
"NS12" wrote: I meet this guy at a festival and we have been talking for the whole week and my mum has noticed I keep texting someone and I know I need to tell her but I don t know how I am going to tell her, I doubt she ll get angry or anything but he lives about 4/5 hours away from me. I know I need to tell her as I don t like keeping secrets from her. I know this was a bit ago, but I truly hope that you were able to be open with your mother. If you feel as if they won't get mad at you, then chances are that your guardian will not. Honesty is the best policy, and if you feel guilt keeping a secret, then it is one you probably shouldn't be keeping.
reply 1 day
drowning
I agree with @rainbowpoptart. You really shouldn't worry about relationships that much given your age. I promise, they're better things to worry about than boys and more secure romances occur later on in life anyways. But, given the situation, you shouldn't worry about either. The boy is unfaithful and so is your friend. If your best friend really valued your friendship, she would not have put it in a position that could end it. Don't waste your time on those who will not put you first just as you do for them; better people will come into your life and they are the ones who you should really worry about.
reply 1 day