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Dear Dish-It, My Ex Is Being A Jerk

Dear Dish-It,

This month, my boyfriend broke up with me. It would have been four months if he'd let it last. But now he keeps being this total jerk. And the thing about him breaking up with me is, he didn't say it to my face and he didn't say it himself – one of my friends did. And then he says mean things and keeps going out with my BFFL's (not so much anymore). I want to ask him about the whole thing, but I don't want him to say something again or not listen or anything else. I'm so super scared. What can I do so I don't get my feelings crushed again?


Dear TotallyHeartBroken,

I feel for you – I really do. I’ve been through it before, too. In fact, most of us will go through a heartbreak or two during our lives. It’s normal and natural and, even though you may not be able to see how this could be possible right now, it makes you a stronger and better person in the long run. Pain and hard times always have a way of doing that, because painful and difficult situations always present a hidden lesson to us. If we look hard enough and choose to learn from these lessons, we can come out the other side of pain stronger and better people than we were before.

Having said that, I know you’re feeling incredibly hurt and disappointed right now. I know you want to talk to your ex and find out all the answers to all your questions that keep lingering on in your mind. However, no matter how big a jerk he’s being or how much he continues to hurt you, I think you need to be the strongest you can be right now and try not to let anything he says or does affect you. In other words, I truly think you should just let this go and write this guy off. Don’t ever speak to him again if you can help it.

Trying to talk to your ex would only show him (and everyone else, including yourself) that you are not over him. That is the last thing you want to do. You ,main goal right now is getting over him – and that means moving on. And the best way I know how to do this is to end all contact and try your best to forget about the past.

Easier said than done, I know. But it’s doable – trust me! You just have to believe in yourself and rely on your friends and family a bit for the next little while. Believe that you deserve better than what this guy gave and is giving you. Believe that there are plenty of fish in the sea and that your relationship with your ex will by no means be your last. Hang out with your friends and family more, and talk to them when you are feeling blue. Talking to your ex about your feelings at this point will not make you feel any better. You need to surround yourself with people who love and care for you, and who wouldn’t in a million years do anything to hurt you.

Stay strong, and you’ll make it through this!

So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

tasfia posted in Family Issues:
With both of them :-)   I just sleep in the middle :-p
reply about 4 hours
Dear Dish-it, i always wanted to be in a band but my parents are saying you should forget about that, you should get a real future. I have fought my case by they just get it.  Please help me Bye
reply 1 day
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
Maybe he likes you, as a friend or as more.
reply 1 day
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
Friends grow apart as we grow up and change at different rates. It's fine to stop being friends, but it doesn't have to be in a mean way. The best thing to do is talk to her (nicely). You don't have to tell her she's being childish or you feel as if you've matured more. That would be terrible. Talk about things you guys like to do in common or make plans to try new things together. Or don't mention it at all, but don't just begin ignoring her. Eventually the friendship will fade the less time you spend together. 
reply 2 days
Amalegend20 posted in Friends:
You should be nice to her. If you have to break the news gently don't make her feel bad just talk to her about and see what she says  
reply 2 days

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