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Dear Dish-It: He Won't Leave Me Alone

Dear Dish-It,

I don’t know what to do! This guy in my class says I’m sexy, but he has a girlfriend. Still he won’t stop annoying me in class about it. I’m going crazy! I don’t want to tell my parents and I don’t want to go to the office at school, either. Please help!

TheSmallDancer


Dear TSD,


It sounds like you don’t really like the attention you’re getting from this particular admirer. It’s not nice of him to tease you (even if he’s complimenting you) or flirt with you, especially since he has a girlfriend.


There are a few things you could try doing to get him to stop bothering you. The first is to completely and totally ignore it. Not only does that mean not paying attention when he makes a comment to you, but also making sure you don’t react to anything he does at all. Don’t do anything, don’t say anything – try to even not think about it or let it affect your mood at all. Once he figures out he’s not going to get any reaction from you whatsoever, my guess is he’ll lose interest and stop.


The second option is to talk to him about it. I’m not sure whether or not this guy is a reasonable person, but maybe if you calmly (don’t get mad – it’ll only provoke him and probably make things worse) tell him how his actions and words make you feel, he’ll stop.


The last thing you can do is tell an adult at school about the problem. You could let your teacher know what’s happening, and tell him or her that you don’t like being harassed by this guy. I know you say you don’t want to go to the office, but that would be another solution for the situation. The principal or a school counselor could probably give you some advice as to what you can to make this guy stop.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.


More Dish-It Advice:

  • I’m A Big Flirt
  • He Keeps Flirting With Me
  • I Flirt With Lots Of Boys
  • Guys Flirt With Me But Never Ask Me Out
  • More Great Advice from Dish-It!
  • 28 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    PerksBeingABookworm
    Dear Dish-It:  I recently became friends with an upperclassman guy, Tom*, from my high school. We started hanging out about a month or so ago. To be honest, I thought the relationship was platonic: we've never flirted although we've bantered, I don't use flirty emojis with him and although I spend a lot of time with him, he has always said how much I remind him of my brother (who is the same age as me), and he's never stolen glances at me or given me the impression that he was into me that way. I rationalized that he saw me as a little sister the same way as I viewed him as an older brother, since he constantly made references to my brother and never attempted to flirt nor gave off any of the typical visual signals of attraction. I also don't see myself as someone who'd be attractive or crush-worthy from the perspective of a high school junior, since I'm a freshman in high school and definitely not modelesque, and we pretty much stuck to group outings. So when he asked me out 2 weeks ago, needless to say it came as a surprise. We decided to remain friends, but I'm having trouble establishing boundaries, especially since my sister informed me that one of his friends told her that Tom "wasn't going to give up on me" and that Tom was going to adhere to the "Three Strikes Rule": apparently, he can wait and ask me out 2 more times before giving up on pursuing me.  Dish-It, how do I remain friends with this guy without this becoming awkward? What do I do? Just this past weekend he wanted to s**pe call me and kept s.n.a.p.ch*tting me. I literally feigned accidentally sleeping in yesterday to avoid meeting up with him (he invited my siblings and I to go play tennis at our high school), and I haven't talked to him since Saturday (we do track together so it was kind of unavoidable). I need space, and I want to remain friends, but he's really making me feel uncomfortable.  Thanks, -Perks. P.S.: This is the second junior who has asked me out this year (and the second guy I've rejected). Maybe I'm just really naive and oblivious, but I genuinely don't see myself as attractive to guys...how do I stop accidentally leading them on? Because I'm not trying to, really-I'm not flirty or anything. I have no idea why they like me, I don't think I'm being overly nice and I'm not answering texts right away or anything. This guy didn't get my phone information from me, he got it from another person on our coed sports team and he originally texted me 2 months ago to tell me that he was worried about my brother so I didn't think he was making a move on me. *Names have been changed for privacy reasons. (Also: the chat filter keeps unnecessarily censoring my writing).
    reply about 1 hour
    Shadeleaf
    Shadeleaf posted in Friends:
    I'm actually already being made fun of for my interests in Undertale. i kinda don't see how playing DnD can be that bad... it's fine. Thx .
    reply 4 days
    Shadeleaf
    "al######ote: i am in love with a boy ..and planning to marry him ..  [s:p/zwq] [s:p/oaq] [s:p/1koh] [s:p/1jn8] [s:p/1jks] Congrats! just hope he doesn't abandon you like mine terrible attempts at a relationship. You may be even luckier than me :3
    reply 4 days
    drowning
    drowning posted in Friends:
    "Shadeleaf" wrote: I've been wondering. I got the  books and all i need would be extra graph paper and character sheets....  Anyways my dad gave me this idea on Friday and I was thinking of it today. Maybe find a few nerds like me... who knows. My dad told me people would make fun of me, but i don't care.... You will face a little making fun of, but as long as you can get past that and ignore others, I think you'll be just fine. If you're already aware of any others like you throughout the school, maybe you should look into making a group! Slip them a note or talk to them yourself, see if they're interested. Good luck!
    reply 4 days
    drowning
    ###### wrote: i am in love with a boy ..and planning to marry him ..  [s:p/zwq] [s:p/oaq] [s:p/1koh] [s:p/1jn8] [s:p/1jks] I realize that I got engaged young as well, but 10 is a tad different. :^)
    reply 4 days