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Dear Dish-It: My BF Is Moving

Dear Dish-It,

A common topic in life is: are you really in love? My answer? YES. I am in love with my boyfriend, Austin. We've been going out a few months but we've loved each other for years. He's an awesome guy. I'm 13, and he's turning 15 in September. Although he's older, our love for each other will never change. Now here's where the conflict comes in: his parents are going to divorce and he’s moving about an hour or two away. He'll still be going to my school, and soon he'll be able to drive. But it's summer, I barely see him, my mom doesn't seem to like him when he does come over and his dad is an abusive drunk. He's really unhappy about not seeing me enough. I am too! Every night I cry and cry about it, and so does he. We just get worse and worse, being apart from each other. Please help me! What can I do about this? How can I get through it?


Dear WS,

Wow, I can tell you love Austin. I hope that he loves you back just as much, even if you are both moving into a time of your life that could turn out to be bittersweet. Unfortunately, you may not like my advice. I know you hope the two of you will be able to stay together despite the distance his move has created, but I must warn you: long-distance relationships are hard (as you know) and often don’t work out. All it takes is a little time and space and then you meet someone new and the old relationship seems like not much more than a memory …

I’m not saying it WON’T work out between the two of you. I’m just giving you a dose of reality. I firmly believe that if it’s meant to be then it will be and, instead of wasting your time crying, you should adopt the same belief – I’m positive it will give you more hope, no matter what the future brings.

Here’s the other thing. You and Austin are so lucky to live in a world of incredible communication technology – there’s no reason you can’t be in touch with each other even when you’re physically apart! I know nothing can replace actually being together in person, but you and Austin have all this technology in front of you. You can do video chat, talk on Skype for free, text 20 times a day (though I don't recommend it) or send long e-mails. While the odds are very much against this type of relationship, I've heard enough interesting stories in my life to realize that odds are just that — odds.

If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.

More Dish-It Advice:

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  • Am I In Love?

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    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    Amalegend20 posted in Friends:
    You should be nice to her. If you have to break the news gently don't make her feel bad just talk to her about and see what she says  
    reply about 13 hours
    hugebear posted in Friends:
    My bff and I were best friends but weve grown apart im getting older and she still wants to do kid stuff I have new friends now I feel like im being mean to her but like doesn't she get the memo I feel both guilty and mad:} Gosh.... put the shoe on  the other foot and see how would you feel if your bff done this on you. You has been bffs for the long time [Im guessing] and your maturing faster than her.  I agrees you are being mean to her if you doesnt discuss how your feeling with her and ignoring / avoiding her or whatever your doing.    She has been the good friend to you and she deserves to understand if you is growing up faster than her.  I really feels sad for how she could be feeling right now. She didnt do anything wrong.  You changed. Not her. Please be nice to your friend/ex friend and let her down gently [if you really has to] ^^ Me opinion  
    reply about 22 hours
    Desiixx posted in Friends:
    Don't worry about it. Friends grow apart. That's how things go. Just talk to her about it, she'll understand. 
    reply about 22 hours
    trendycute posted in Friends:
    My bff and I were best friends but weve grown apart im getting older and she still wants to do kid stuff I have new friends now I feel like im being mean to her but like doesn't she get the memo I feel both guilty and mad:}
    reply about 22 hours
    epic587 posted in Family Issues:
    Yes and no. Parents should be a bit strict on you if they care about you.  If they care about you they would be strict. 
    reply 1 day

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