Dear Dish-It: My BF Is Moving

Dear Dish-It,

A common topic in life is: are you really in love? My answer? YES. I am in love with my boyfriend, Austin. We've been going out a few months but we've loved each other for years. He's an awesome guy. I'm 13, and he's turning 15 in September. Although he's older, our love for each other will never change. Now here's where the conflict comes in: his parents are going to divorce and he’s moving about an hour or two away. He'll still be going to my school, and soon he'll be able to drive. But it's summer, I barely see him, my mom doesn't seem to like him when he does come over and his dad is an abusive drunk. He's really unhappy about not seeing me enough. I am too! Every night I cry and cry about it, and so does he. We just get worse and worse, being apart from each other. Please help me! What can I do about this? How can I get through it?


Dear WS,

Wow, I can tell you love Austin. I hope that he loves you back just as much, even if you are both moving into a time of your life that could turn out to be bittersweet. Unfortunately, you may not like my advice. I know you hope the two of you will be able to stay together despite the distance his move has created, but I must warn you: long-distance relationships are hard (as you know) and often don’t work out. All it takes is a little time and space and then you meet someone new and the old relationship seems like not much more than a memory …

I’m not saying it WON’T work out between the two of you. I’m just giving you a dose of reality. I firmly believe that if it’s meant to be then it will be and, instead of wasting your time crying, you should adopt the same belief – I’m positive it will give you more hope, no matter what the future brings.

Here’s the other thing. You and Austin are so lucky to live in a world of incredible communication technology – there’s no reason you can’t be in touch with each other even when you’re physically apart! I know nothing can replace actually being together in person, but you and Austin have all this technology in front of you. You can do video chat, talk on Skype for free, text 20 times a day (though I don't recommend it) or send long e-mails. While the odds are very much against this type of relationship, I've heard enough interesting stories in my life to realize that odds are just that — odds.

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    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    EndlessDream posted in Friends:
    Hmmm....Then she mustn't be necessarily "using" you, if she is not getting something in return ( As far as we know of). However, It does sound like she is being extremely unfair. That just might be how she is. Not exactly loyal to anyone. Well, try to talk to her about it and tell her how you feel. And, if it doesn't work out, then she might not be a great friend to hang around with, and maybe you will find someone else who enjoys your company. I hope this helps, and good luck :)
    reply about 14 hours
    XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
    No not really. Like I said, one minute she's all smiley and then she doesn't even look at me. Most of the time I see her with Daniela and Andrea. Today she was asking me if I was going to hang out with her, Daniela, Andrea and Luisa during recess. When I told her that I was 'going to have to think' she was like, "Whatever." and ran off to catch up with the Threesome. Thanks. :)
    reply about 14 hours
    EndlessDream posted in Friends:
    Is she asking you to do things for her? Like help with homework, carry her books and so on?
    reply about 14 hours
    XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
    This is gonna be long:   I have this 'friend' Amelia. She and I bonded really fast last year and we've become inseparable.   But lately she's blowing me off and my other best friend Belen told me: Amelia is actually using you. She does this to new kids at school, especially from foreign countries. She thinks because you're Chinese and the Chinese teacher's daughter, you'll help her. She's also using you as a backup friend - a substitute. There's this new girl Daniela, who Amelia thinks is her new best friend. She thinks that when Daniela stop hanging out with her, she'll have you.   The thing is, Daniela is pretty nice and she probably doesn't know all the trouble she's causing. Belen's old 'best friend' Andrea is doing the same to her.   I also learned that Amelia is seemingly the 'most popular girl in school' because she's mean to everyone. She always passes by the little kids' classrooms and hugs them & stuff. They seem to love her, but now I know it's because they think if they're nice they won't get bullied.   Maybe she WAS using me but I dunno. Belen says that each kid in the entire school has a bad story about Amelia and something she did to them. I said, "Then how was she so nice to me last year?" Then Belen was all like, "She was using you."   I don't know if she's telling the truth. She and Amelia are deadly enemies and she might be making up the whole Amelia story just to get back at her. Although Amelia has been dropping a few signs that she IS using me as a substitute friend.   Sometimes when I walk in, she'll be like "OOOOHHH! CASSANDRA! HI! HOW ARE YOU! C'MON, LOOK AT THIS! WE'RE GONNA HAVE SOOOO MUCH FUN TOGETHER ..."   And other times I'm like, "Hey, Amelia!" and she says, "Oh. Huh? Yeah, hi ..."  Once during PE we had to sit down and on the way to the gym, she was chatting with me in a BBBBFFFF way. But then when we had to partner up she said with Andrea, Daniela and someone else who I forgot.   I don't know what to do. It's just so weird. Even though now I know she MIGHT be using me (I'm not sure if she really is) it just seems WEIRD. Even for a supposed ##### she was my possibly fake best friend for the whole of last year. It's WEIRD to suddenly switch.   I don't even know if this should be happening. We've only just started 5th grade. Doesn't this WEIRD #### start happening around middle school? Thank you, everyone who will help in advance. P.S. Please include flirting advice. - A Girl Who Might Just Lose Her Possibly Fake Best Friend
    reply about 15 hours
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