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Dear Dish-It: First Dance Advice

Dear Dish-It,

I'm so scared about my first dance. What should I do?

skittles


Dear skittles,


It's perfectly OK for you to feel nervous about going to your first dance - just like it's totally normal for kids to feel scared or anxious about anything they're about to do for the first time. Think about the feelings you had on your first day of school, your first time riding a bike without training wheels for the first time. I'm sure you felt scared about those "firsts," too, but now that you've done them, you probably think there was nothing to b scared of in the first place, right?


So now that you're about to go to your first dance, keep in mind that once you've done it, you'll forget why you were nervous about it at all!


In terms of how to dress and act at the dance, the best thing for you to do is to talk to your friends about it. Ask them what they're wearing and how they're going to get to the dance - maybe you can even suggest that all your friends go and/or arrive at the dance together, to make it a little less scary as you go in.


Here are some more quick tips on going to your first dance:

  1. Dance with your friends to fast songs. In terms of dancing in groups, it's fun to stand in a circle, facing in or facing the DJ.
  2. Realize that it is almost impossible to dance with a guy on fast songs, but sometimes the braver guys will dive in and dance.
  3. Remember, you're not going to dance "wrong." If you want to blend in, try to imitate what others are doing. If not, go crazy.
  4. You don't have to ask anyone to dance if you don't want to. If you do and they say no, just say, "OK. Have fun!" and dance your way back to your friends. Smile and laugh and dance off the nervousness.
  5. If you're asked to dance by someone you don't want to dance with, just say "No, thanks." Be polite and don't fuss about it with your friends. Just let it go.

The most important thing to remember is dances are held in order for kids to have some fun. So go with the idea in mind that you will get to see and hang out with your friends outside of class and that there will be great music to listen and bust your best moves to!


More Great Advice From Dish-It:

  • Another Dancer Is Jealous Of Me
  • No One Asked Me To Dance
  • I Have No Self-Esteem
  • Planning A School Dance
  • 21 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    rainbowpoptart
    Goodness... I see where your mother is coming from: if you eat too much, no matter how healthy the food is, and don't work off the calories, you're going to gain weight. But she's being very obsessive and dramatic about it. There is nothing wrong with eating pizza or a cookie every now and then, and there's nothing wrong with relaxing from time to time either. As long as you aren't constantly eating junk and not burning the calories, then you do not have a problem. Eating unhealthy things every now and then does not make you fat. EATING every now and then does not make you fat. Try explaining this to her, calmly and patiently. Tell her that you don't want to be forced to do all of this exercising - being forced to exercise makes it a lot less interesting. Do not take "This is for your own good" for an answer; if you do not want to do it, it is NOT for your good. (This, of course, would be a different story if you were actually fat.) ALSO tell her that exercising too much and not satiating your cravings is JUST AS UNHEALTHY AS BEING FAT IS. If you were to not eat healthful meals and not snack every now and then, no matter how healthy or unhealthy the food is, plus exercise so frequently, you would not be healthy.  Eating is good for you, even if the food isn't. Eating too little and eating too much is not healthy. Exercise is good for you. Not exercising enough and exercising too much is not good for you. If you talking to her doesn't help, try telling another adult how you feel, and maybe they can help get it through to her. Regardless of what happens, take care of yourself. Moderate how much you eat, but don't limit yourself to less than you feel you need. Exercise, but don't do something you don't want to; working out should be fun. Good luck with everything. I'm really sorry that she makes you feel so badly about this.
    reply about 7 hours
    jake495
    jake495 posted in Family Issues:
    Make sure she knows its your body not hers In a respectful way of course
    reply about 8 hours
    ThePaleWalker636
    I'm perfectly happy with myself. I'm around 5'6" and somewhere between 140-150 pounds, and I don't feel fat. But my mom is constantly telling me that I am, or, at least, that I'm going to be. She forces me to go to exercise classes because I don't like many sports, tries making me go on diets, but I don't want to. She tells me that if I continue the way I am, having an extra cookie once in a while and only eating cereal for breakfast, that I'll end up fat, and she makes sure to emphasize how horrible that is for a person to live with. She rolls her eyes and sighs whenever she sees me getting a snack, and just in general makes me feel awful for eating the things I like and for relaxing. I've told her that I don't want to do these things and that she makes me feel bad when she says things like that, but she swears it's for my own good and that I should never want to be fat, that it ruins people's lives. How should I deal with this?
    reply about 8 hours
    drowning
    drowning posted in Friends:
    "NS12" wrote: I meet this guy at a festival and we have been talking for the whole week and my mum has noticed I keep texting someone and I know I need to tell her but I don t know how I am going to tell her, I doubt she ll get angry or anything but he lives about 4/5 hours away from me. I know I need to tell her as I don t like keeping secrets from her. I know this was a bit ago, but I truly hope that you were able to be open with your mother. If you feel as if they won't get mad at you, then chances are that your guardian will not. Honesty is the best policy, and if you feel guilt keeping a secret, then it is one you probably shouldn't be keeping.
    reply 1 day
    drowning
    I agree with @rainbowpoptart. You really shouldn't worry about relationships that much given your age. I promise, they're better things to worry about than boys and more secure romances occur later on in life anyways. But, given the situation, you shouldn't worry about either. The boy is unfaithful and so is your friend. If your best friend really valued your friendship, she would not have put it in a position that could end it. Don't waste your time on those who will not put you first just as you do for them; better people will come into your life and they are the ones who you should really worry about.
    reply 1 day